TWICE MATED

Suffering in her absence

MICHAEL’S POV

I don’t what that portion had been or what bit was supposed to do, but there was something seriously wrong with me. Why was Anaiah the only thing that I could think about and the only one that I could dream about? wasn’t that portion supposed to help me forget her? I could understand that I may have done something wrong that caused her to die, but weren't my feelings supposed to die with her? How could I still have feelings for her when she was dead? I didn’t understand anything that was going on and no matter how many female wolves I f****d I just couldn’t f**k this omega out of my system. I was beginning to think that this was the moon goddess’ way of punishing me for not only rejecting her but for also killing her. She was probably haunting me. I hated the fact that I was entertaining all these superstitions because I had never been a superstitious person. I wanted to ask Apollo if it was possible to still have feelings for your dead mate, but I couldn’t ask him that. He didn’t know that she was dead and he didn’t know that she was my mate. The only person that I could speak to was the one that had gotten me into this mess in the first place and I wasn’t sure if I could trust any advice that he gave me anymore.

After another day of obsessing over Anaiah, I decided that it was time for me to ring Kyle up. Not only did he have a lot of explaining to do, but he also had to give me a solution to my current problem. It had been almost a month since this girl died and yet she had been my obsession from the day that she died. There was no way that this was normal. After her death, I had convinced myself that her death was better than breaking the mate bond because having her dead was going to be almost as if she never existed, but I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong. After a few rings, he picked the phone up sounding as jovial as he usually did.

“What's up man?” he asked me.

”I have been waiting for this call for quite some time now. I mean I wanted you to tell me how things went” he said,

“Well, things went horribly,” I said.

“What do you mean?” he asked me.

“Firstly, my so-called mate bond wasn’t broken as I expected it to be and secondly, the woman that I was mated to almost died,” I said and there was silence from his end

“Wow, your life is like a movie” he finally said.

“That is not even the end of it. I thought she was dead so I got rid of her body. Now the problem is that I still feel attached to her. I can't stop thinking about her. It's like she is haunting me”, I said and he laughed.

”So she is still alive?” he asked me “Wow,” he said again as if he was at a loss for words and didn’t really know what to say to me.”

“Don’t just say wow, just tell me what to do”, I snapped and he laughed.

”Don’t be so hasty, just relax”. He said “I will help you figure this out,” he said

“I suggest you start thinking and make sure that you come up with a good response,” I said as I paced around the room.

“First of all, we have to figure out what you gave her and where you went wrong,” he said.

”What do you mean we have to figure out what I gave her?” I asked him in disbelief. I couldn’t understand why we had to figure out what I had given her when he was the one who gave me the recipe, to begin with.

”I gave her what you told me to give her. I did it the way you told me to do it”, I added

”I get that but maybe you made a mistake somewhere,” he said, and I threw myself on the bed. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me.

“I didn’t make a mistake. I did what you told me to do”, I said.

”Can we just try to figure this out? What is done is done and the most important thing now is to figure out how to fix this mess?” I said.

“Well, you can just kill her” he suggested as if it was that simple.

“I would have done that if I knew where she was. If she is alive, then I am sure she is not waiting for me to come and pick her upon the same place that I left her” I said, and he sighed.

”You can just track her, she couldn’t have gone that far and there is no place that she can go to without your knowledge, is there?” he asked me and my mind raced as I tried to think of all the places that she could have gone to and I couldn’t think of any place that would take her in

”She is just a rogue now and I think tracking rogues is easy” he added and it was as if a light bulb went off in my head.

”Damn it, Max..”I whispered.

“Yeah, she is probably with the other rogues,” he said.

”Thank you for your help,” I said, and before he could say anything in response, I hung up. I knew where she was and, at the same time, I knew that there was no way that I could get to her.

She was in Max’s imaginary kingdom and he wasn't going to give her to me. I even expected him to kill her because he would have known she was from my pack, but the fact that she was alive showed me that things were not as they seemed. I needed Luke to help me with this, I needed him to get the pack trackers so that they could track her down, but that was a conversation that I was looking forward to having with him. He was going to ask a lot of questions and he was also going to ask me why I never told him this. The truth was that if things hadn't gone so wrong I wouldn’t have to tell him but I needed his help and I knew he wouldn't help me unless I told him how this mess began.

Then there was the issue of Maximilian, the supposed king of wolves. I couldn’t even believe that I needed permission from a rogue to get into rogue land and do what I wanted. However, I wasn’t ready for a war with Max because we were outnumbered by the rogues. It was better to stay away from rogues. What I was failing to understand was why she was alive. If she was over there, surely by now he would have figured out that she was from here because of her scent and because it was a scent that he knew very well. Most of my spies and trackers that were sent over there were always killed upon arrival and I couldn’t understand why that wasn’t the case with her. But then again, what if she wasn’t there? What if she was living among humans? She was probably with humans because there was no way she would have survived being with the rogues for this long. I couldn't think of any other place that she could have been aside from the humans, because if she was with Max she would be dead by now.

I had to put Kyle’s suggestion into consideration and maybe the best thing for me to do was to kill her. She was probably out there suffering and this would be like a mercy killing because I would be putting her out of her misery. I still didn’t want her as my mate. If she was living with humans, she was probably homeless because humans didn’t trust anyone easily, especially someone that they had just met. There was no way that she was living better out there and as her alpha, I had to find her and put her out of her misery. The fact that she was still alive out there and those feelings that I felt for her were still alive in me meant that I couldn’t get a second chance mate from the moon goddess. The whole reason I had gotten rid of her was so that I could get a second chance mate and I had to make sure that I got rid of her permanently so that I could move on with my life.

I knew that this made me look like a monster, but I didn’t care because the means would justify the purpose in the end. Anaiah’s job as an omega in my pack was to serve me and make sure that I always got what I wanted and this was a part of that service. I needed her help in ensuring that I got the mate that I deserved. She had to play her role in the pack just as she always did and no one and nothing was going to stop me from doing that.

Now all I had to do was to find her first. This was going to be very hard for me to do because I didn’t even know where to begin. Even if Luke was the one who conducted the search for me, I wouldn't even know where to tell him to start and he had to start somewhere. He couldn’t go to the surrounding packs to ask for her whereabouts because if she had been there they would have told him about it already. I knew she wasn’t there and the only place for him to begin was with the humans.