I looked into her eyes and I was still dangerously angry. I wasn't satisfied with what she was about to get because I was supposed to finish my judgement for her.
Taking ten years from my life isn't something I can let go of easily, especially when I trusted you and thought highly of you.
The scared look on her face wasn't enough for me, I wanted her to not be able to look me in the eye at all, to hear my name only and begin to shake uncontrollably that people will begin to think she was having an epileptic attack.
I felt a hand on top of mine, giving it a light squeeze. Turning to my side, I saw my dad looking right at me with clear understanding of how I was feeling. He could easily read me
"It's going to be okay "
That sentence had become a mantra in my head that it was beginning to annoy me. I took my hand out my fathers hold and as I did that I heard the word "recess" and immediately, I stood up and ran out of the court room before I did something that would probably land me in jail on the spot.
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Sitting outside the court room, I couldn't help but take in deep breaths. I was angry and I needed a release but I didn't want to do anything stupid so all I could do was cry, cry away all the pain and bitterness. My heaves were getting heavy by the second and I wasn't done yet.
" Cry out if you need to honey. Don't hold bitterness in you because it'll affect you and the ones you love." My grandma said that while pulling me into her arms. I cried like a child for the first time in a long time and it gave me a little relief. I didn't feel as angry and tense as I was when I first arrived at the courthouse.
"Thank you so much Nana" I always called her that. With a sigh, I excused myself and went to the ladies to freshen up my face, I was also going to need a long mirror talk to get through the remaining day.