The Fortress Island Series 2: Romano, Can't We Try

ONE: GRANDMA

Ang isang babaeng katulad ko ay hindi naniniwala sa wagas na pag-ibig. I mean, ako? Sa hitsura kong ‘to? Sino naman kaya ang magmamahal sa isang katulad ko? Kahit man lang nga isang sulyap ay hindi magawa ng mga taong nakapaligid sa akin.

When I was in college, I felt like I was just an air passing by. Dahil ganun ang turing ng mga estudyante sa akin noon. They treated me as if I was an invisible living thing. Wala rin akong matatawag na kaibigan. I used to eat alone at the canteen. I used to spend my vacant time in the library. Good thing was, I wasn’t bullied by them. In fact, I was more than glad that they treated me as if I didn’t exist. Mas okay na yun kesa naman papansinin nila ako para lang insultuhin. I felt happy in my own little bubble. Hanggang ngayon nga ay hindi ako makapaniwala kung paano ko nairaos ang makapagtapos sa kolehiyo.

I think it’s all about getting used to it. Nasanay akong mag-isa. Noong maliit pa ako, natatakot ako sa ideyang lumaking mag-isa. Yeah, growing up without a parent was indeed sad but I wasn’t totally lonely dahil na rin sa tiya at pinsan ko na hindi ako pinabayaan.

Sa murang edad ko, namulat na ako sa katotohanan na ang ang pag-ibig ay hindi puro saya ang batid.

Love equals hate. Faith equals doubt. Truth equals lies. Hope equals despair. Light equals darkness. Life equals death.

These are the things I realized now that I’m a grown up. My parents’ relationship is a perfect example of a failed marriage. I was so affected every time they argue in front of me. Sa mura kong isipan, ramdam ko ang sakit sa puso na nararamdaman ni Papa tuwing umalis si Mama at kinabukasan na umuuwi. I would see him drink alone, totally broken inside out. I had lost count how many times I saw him weep silently. I wanted to be beside him and assured him that it was okay, but I knew, at that time, not even me was enough reason for him to feel okay.

Ang inis at sama ng loob ko kay Mama ay mas lalong tumindi nang mamatay si Papa. She didn’t show sadness. Not even remorse. Tingin ko pa nga ay tila masaya itong nawala na sa mundo si Papa.

That day when I woke up from the hospital bed, si Papa agad ang hinanap ko. Pero hindi ako masagot ni Tiya ng diretso. It was my mother who told me that my father died from the accident.

Pakiramdam ko’y literal na gumuho ang mundo sa mga oras na iyon. Pakiramdam ko ulila na ako sa magulang. Pero laking pasalamat ko na lang at nalagpasan ko ang masalimuot na parte na iyon ng buhay ko sa tulong ni tiya at ng nag-iisa kong pinsan.

I owe them what I am today.

Was there ever a time that I felt giddy and love from the opposite s*x? Yes.

When I first heard his voice on the radio, it was the very first time of my existence I felt love from a man. There was something in the way he sang that could melt my insides. I felt like he’s making love to me through his deep, husky voice. Hindi ako nahihiyang aminin na minsan ay nagde-daydream ako na kasintahan ko ito at kinakantahan ako.

And when I first saw him on the television, I was in awe of his beauty. For me, he was perfection personified. Naghuhugis puso ang mga mata ko habang nakatitig sa kanya. Pakiramdam ko’y puro naggagandahang bulaklak ang nakapalibot sa kanya. Wala ka talagang maiipintas sa lalake.

Naisip ko kung gaano ka-unfair ang Diyos. Paanong hindi pantay-pantay ang paglaganap Niya ng kagandahan at talento sa kanyang mga anak.

Sometimes, I can’t help but ask. Anak ba talaga ako ng Diyos? Pero tanggap ko na rin naman na ang isang katulad niyang pinagpala sa lahat, ay hindi kailanman magkakagusto sa isang ordinary at pangit na babaeng kagaya ako.

I have a huge crush on him but I am not delusional.

I have read a few folklores about the red thread of fate. It said that the two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time or circumstances. They said that this magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. In other words, they are soulmates. When I learned about this ridiculous myth, pinagkibit-balikat ko na lang. I don’t believe it. Kasi kung ganunman, sana walang magkasintahan o mag-asawa na naghihiwalay. Sana walang nabigo sa pag-ibig kung may nakalaan naman pala sa kanila.

True love? Sa movies, pocketbooks at w*****d mo lang mararamdaman o mahahanap. In reality, life is full of s**t.

And when I say s**t, today is one of those shitty days. His squinting eyes, clenching jaw and hands formed into fist as if he’d like to punch me anytime soon made me feel like I’m about to experience hell.

“I said who the f**k are you?!”

I trembled in fear. Wala sa loob na napaatras ako.

“I… I’m Mira….”

“Paano ka nakapasok dito?”

“A—ano…kasi…” Paano ko ba ipapaliwanag? Na napagkamalan nila ako?

“They thought I was Mariposa….” My voice fading when his angry face turned into laughing face. His voice echoed to all corners of this house.

“My employees aren’t dumb, weirdo. You don’t look like Mariposa, you look like you came from 19th century. Have you look at yourself in the mirror?  Saang kweba o bundok ka nanggaling? Ang isang tulad mo ay hindi dapat nagpagala-gala sa siyudad. Or were you attending a costume party? O baka naman nagpapanggap ka lang at ang totoo ay stalker kita.” Nagtaas ito ng kilay.

“Ako? Stalker? Sa hitsura kong ‘to?” Napahumindig ako. Ni hindi ko nga kayang pumatay ng ipis, ang mag-stalk pa kaya ng isang celebrity na kagaya niya?

He straightened to full height. His hands fell from his hips and made a fist again. “You are probably doing that on purpose. That’s your disguise.” He crossed his arms on his chest as he raised his one fine brow.

“Excuse me, Mr. Romano, ang taas naman ata ng tingin mo sa iyong sarili. Are you trying to insinuate that I’m a bad person?”

“Oh, so the grandma knows how to speak English, huh.” He smirked.

Look at this man! Nakakainsulto na ang kanyang mga patutsada sa akin!

“Excuse your rudeness, pero may pinag-aralan ako.”

“Anong eskwelahan ba yan at nang mareport why they didn’t even teach you how to dress properly.”

“That’s entirely none of your business, Mr. Romano.”  Did I say he’s my idol? I was just probably hallucinating when I said that. No girl on her right mind would stan imbecilic star like him!

“See? You know who I am. Sigurado akong may motive ka. I can’t fathom how you were able to pass my tight security.”

“Because of this!” Hinablot ko ang scarf mula sa aking leeg. Binato ko iyon sa kanya at tumama iyon sa kanyang mukha. Buti nga sa’yo.

“Dahil diyan kaya nakarating ako dito. pinulot ko lang naman yan dun sa hotel dahil nahulog ng babae. Pagkatapos si manong driver nilapitan ako at inayang pumasok sa limousine mo. He thought I was Mariposa—”

“They thought but you didn’t exert an effort to retaliate. You should have told him you are not Mariposa and you will never be one!”

Tumahimik ako at napaatras. “Uhm… well… May pinagtataguan kasi ako that time kaya sumakay agad ako sa sasakyan.” Ani ko at napayuko. Kumalam ang sikmura ko. s**t. Nalipasan na nga ako ng tanghalian, pati ba naman hapunan. I’m starting to get dizzy. Pakiramdam ko’y masusuka ako sa hapdi ng sikmura ko ngayon. Nakadagdag pa ang kabang nararamdaman ko.

“Tss. Whatever. I need you to get out. Now.”

“Okay.”

Kailangan ko na rin talang umalis dahil hinihintay ng pinsan ko at ng mga dancer ang pagkaing pinapabili nila.

I casted my gaze downwards and made a step but my world started to spin around. I tried to reach for something to hold on to, but my knees buckled up until I found myself lying on the floor. Darkness started to cover my vision.

“What the f**k!”

That was the last sentence I heard from him.

*********

Sakit ng ulo ang agad na naramdaman ko pagmulat ko ng aking mata. I was probably dreaming because my surrounding was too pretty to be my room.

I was disoriented. Nasaan ako?

“You passed out, grandma.”

I whipped my head to the side. My gaze zeroed in on the man. He was casually sitting there, a wineglass on his left hand, his right elbow on armrest, his thumb and forefinger touching his chin.

Damn. He was a fight sight. Romano Alcantara is really…can I say a bad word to describe him? Romano is...fucking hot. And is super f*****g pissed.

“I’m sorry.” I uttered. What else could I say?

May inabot ito sa side table. “Mirasol Bonifacio.” Ani nito at pabagsak na nilapag ang I.D ko sa mesa.

Nanlaki ang mata ko! “Bakit mo pinakialaman ang bag ko!”

“I have the right to do so because apparently, you invaded my privacy, Miss Bonifacio.” Nag-angat ito ng kilay.

“Aalis na ako.”

“Hindi ko akalain na may mga taong nabubuhay na three hundred pesos lang ang laman ng wallet. Saan aabot ang three hundred pesos mo? That amount can’t even buy me a pair of socks.” He smirked, glancing momentarily at my purse na nakalapag din sa mesa.

Pinanliitan ko ito ng mata. What an obnoxious, entitled jerk he is! I’m officially unstanning him!

He got on his feet and shoved both hands inside the front pockets of his black slacks. “Wipe that scowl on your face, grandma. If you are feeling okay, stand up and let’s go.”

I snarled at him. “Bossy.” Kahit medyo hilo pa ako ay pinilit kong tumayo at umakto ng normal. Kating-kati na akong umalis sa bahay ng impaktong lalakeng ‘to!

Sinuot ko ang aking sling bag at saka kinapa ang aking cellphone sa loob. Pumalatak ako nang mabatid na battery empty na ito. Paniguradong nagririgodon na sa galit si Krizette. Nasa kalagitnaan na siguro sila ng kanilang performance ngayon. I sighed. Saka na ako magpapaliwanag. Tiyak naman akong maiintindihan nila kung bakit hindi ako nakabalik agad.

“Hurry up!”

Pumitlag ako sa singhal niya sa labas ng pintuan. “Eto na nga.”

 “Follow me.”

Alam ko naman kaya kung saan ang labasan. Mukha lang akong tanga pero hindi ako tanga.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang hinablot nito ang damit ko mula sa likuran. Napangiwi ako. Di ba at pinapaalis na niya ako? Saan pa ba niya ako dadalhin?

“This way.” Hinila ako nito at kahit anong piglas ko ay hindi ako makawala. Gusto kong kalmutin ang kanyang mukha pero kahit pa siguro abutin ko ang kanyang mukha ay hindi ko siya mapupuruhan. Ang tangkad niya para sa height kong 5’2”.

Paano kung ikukulong niya ako sa secret room niya? Paano kung sasaktan niya ako? Tiyak akong walang sasaklolo sa akin dahil bukod sa nasa top floor ang flat nito, baka bago pa ako makasigaw ay nasuntok na nito ang aking sikmura.

“Eh?” Tumigil kami sa dining area. At ganun na lang ang singhap ko nang tumambad sa akin ang mesa na puno ng pagkain! Namilog ang aking mga mata!

I looked at him. “Is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy?”

Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ay ngumisi ito. “The grandma knows how to crack a joke, I see.”

“I have a name. Call me Mirasol, or Mira nalang.”

“Sit down and eat. Nahimatay ka dahil sa gutom. Sucha poor human being. I wanted to call the police, but you seemed harmless, so I changed my mind.”

Nakakapanlaway ang mga pagkaing nakahain sa mesa. I couldn’t help but to run my tongue along my lip. “Hindi naman siguro fiesta sa inyo ngayon? Birthday mo kaya? Ah. Hindi. Alam ko pala kailan ang birthday mo.”

He rolled his eyes. “Just east so you can leave.”

Agad akong tumango at pagkatapos ay humigit ng upuan para makaupo. Nilantakan ko kaagad ang pizza at ang carbonara. Punong-puno ang bibig ko.

“Eat slowly, grandma! Goodness.” He picked a tissue box at nilagay sa gilid ko. “What are you, a child? Hindi ka pa ba kailanman nakakain ng mga ito?”

“Uhmuhmuhmuhm…” Umiling ako para malaman niyang nakakain na ako ng mga ito. Madalang nga lang kaysa sa patak ng ulan. Sumenyas ako sa kanya na maupo din at kumain. Umiling lamang ito.

“I’m having an upset stomach just watching you eat like that.”

I glared at him. Jerk.

The doorbell rang and he titled his head towards the living room. “Continue eating.” Umalis ito sandali para siguro sagutin ang intercom.

Nagkibit-balikat ako at inabot ang bowl ng salad. Saang restaurant kaya niya ito nabili? Ang sasarap kasi ng pagkakatimpla!

Nilalantakan ko ang salad nang bumalik ito. “That’s my father. Whatever happens don’t come out and just stay here.” He shoots me a warning look.

Agad namang tumango ako. Hinding hindi ako aalis dito hangga’t di nauubos ang mga pagkain. Makikiusap ako sa kanya na kung pwede e iuuwi ko ang sobra. I don’t think a man like him loves to eat leftovers, does he?

Nawala ulit ito. I continued digging in hanggang sa makarinig ako ng mga boses na papalapit.

“Dumating ka sa party na walang kasama at hindi ka man lang nagtagal doon. Ang masaklap, hindi ka man lang nagpaalam sa Ninong mo. Tell me, sinong Mariposa na naman ang babae mo ngayon? Another celebrity? Another first-class escort? A hooker? I can’t believe you, Romano! Ikaw na nga lang ang inaasahan ko, bibiguin mo rin ba ako?”

“Pa. Please. You knew from the start that I am not cut to be a great businessman like you ang kuya. If there’s a business I am interested about, that’s the showbusiness.”

“You are also my heir, Romano. Matagal ko nang sinasabi sa’yo na pag-aralan mo ang negosyo natin. Sa umpisa lang mahirap pero habang tumatagal ay makakagamayan mo na rin.”

“I don’t want it, Pa. Imbes na ako, why don’t you go back to the island and convince my brother for the nth time to go back to where he belongs!”

“Do you think I am not trying my best, Romano? Don’t think na ikaw lang ang nahihirapan sa sitwasyon na ito, mas dobleng hirap ito sa akin.”

Sandaling tumahimik ang paligid. Inabot ko ang baso ng tubig at uminom doon. I tilted my head closer to the living room. Saan na sila?

“Okay, to tell you honestly Pa, maaga akong umuwi because my girl complained she’s hungry. I don’t want to upset her, so I left the party and picked her up. She’s with me right now.”

Nabuga ko ang tubig at kalahati ata ay pumasok sa ilong ko.

Sinong girl? May ibang babae bang tinatago niya dito? Nasa loob kaya ng isa sa mga kwarto?

I heard their footsteps getting closer. Bigla akong nataranta. Saan ako magtatago? Ah! Sa ilalim ng mesa!

Pero bago pa ako makayuko, Romano and his father appeared before me. Inilang hakbang lang ni Romano ang distansiya sa pagitan namin at walang sabi-sabing hinila ako nito sa braso patayo. He draped his arm on my shoulder, pulling me closer towards his well-trimmed body.

“I’m dating this girl.” He grinned mischievously.

Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. He gave me that “shut the hell up” glance.

I blinked my eyes rapidly. Who’s dating who?