The Princess and the Soldier

Five years of punishment

Alya POV

“Why not move on, Alya? Talk to him. Set your feelings free. Tell him all the feelings and thoughts that were bottled up in there. Settle the past first before you talk about the present, whether to be friends again or be strangers moving forward.”

Mom had said so many things but these were a few of her words that struck me. She was an incredible person for giving great pieces of advice and taking care of me even when I’m already a grown-up.

“My job as a parent is never done even if you are twenty-three or fifty, Alya. Remember that.”

She was amazing and I was glad to be called her daughter.

“I can do this.” I took a deep breath before exhaling. I looked up at my reflection as I soothe the dress I was wearing – a short-sleeved maxi dress. It was the start of the summer. It could be hot during the daytime, but the nighttime air could be at times cool. I brought out a shawl in case it would be windy and, if needed be, to hide my face from embarrassment and perhaps to dry up my tears.

It was already ten minutes to eight as I stepped out of my walk-in closet. I took my phone and an envelope from my desk and stuffed them in my pocket.

Out in the hallway, I went to the other end and walked up the stairs to the rooftop.

Mom had converted this part of the palace for something useful. Just for the royal family anyway. She put up an observation deck of sorts. We usually use the spot to watch sunsets and to stargaze. We also had a few events of barbecues and camping out on the rooftop many years ago.

My heart had started to pound wildly when I arrived at the top. I walked a few steps towards the deck and found Leo already waiting. He had lit up the firepit so I could see him right away. He was leaning down on the rail and had his back on me.

He must have known that I was there because his muscles became rigid. He stood up straight and turned around almost immediately.

“You came.” He said in surprise. His smile was wide as the soft light from the fire pit dance on his face.

“Yes. Here I am.” I tried to smile, too. But my lips quivered.

Fuck it. I thought I will not cry.

I was not ready for another crying session so soon, so I took several deep breaths. However, the lump in my throat didn’t dissolve. It stayed there and I gave out a soft sob. I covered my mouth with my two hands and still tried to calm myself.

But I lost it when Leo outstretched his arms inviting me for a hug. I looked up into his eyes and saw different emotions. Sadness and longingness. I thought I also him being apologetic. My eyes immediately watered and I brought myself to close the gap between us. His arms instantly wrapped around my waist as my arms also wound around his back. He kissed the top of my head and felt him inhaled the scent of my hair.

“I missed you, Alya. I missed you so much, my princess.” I heard him whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

I could not reply as I was already crying and couldn’t control the sobs that followed. Instead of using the shawl that hung from my shoulders to wipe my tears, Leo’s tight shirt did it for me.

Leo held me tightly as he swayed us a little. We stood up there for a while with Leo alternately kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back.

“If you don’t feel like talking tonight, I’m okay with it. I’m already happy seeing you and knowing that I still matter to you for you to come up here.” His soothing deep voice raised goosebumps on my arms. I was glad that he rubs my back and not my arms.

“I know my faults and I was and still am sorry for them. We were best friends and I took that for granted. I know I have already said I was sorry for not telling you that I had plans of going into the army. All my life I wanted to serve the kingdom; I wanted to be of service to the royal family as my parents are doing.”

“Your brother was even enticing me to shift to business and promised of making me a top official. If I took his offer, it would take me away from my promise to serve the kingdom and support you always.”

“I thought that being in the army would be the best way to support you. I could not envision myself working solely in an office setting.”

I understood what he was saying and I have already forgiven him for that. Thanks to Aunt Mathilda and her sons for making me realize the hard work of being in an army. Aunt Mathilda was Grandpa Jeremiah’s trusted head of palace staff. She had retired a couple of years ago to give more time to her family. Her sons, twins at that, became army officers. Aunt Mathilda enticed the twins to work in the palace when they had finished high school, but they had chosen instead to go to army training.

“I know you said that you have forgiven me for not telling you. But I still want to say sorry.”

Then I felt him took a deep breath before speaking again.

“She was not my girlfriend Alya. It was something that I had to do. Amalia was a friend’s cousin who had a crush on me. She was sick and given only a few months to live. My friend had asked me to at least make his cousin happy for the time that she was alive and that would be to act as her boyfriend. I accepted as it will not be long that Amalia will be gone. Harsh as it may sound. I wanted to help and I didn’t think it as a big matter for me to tell anyone else.”

Tears had stopped flowing and I listened very hard to every word that left Leo’s lips.

“I remember that day you saw us shopping. I did not lie to you, Alya. I was really packing my things and I remembered that I had to buy a suitcase. Amalia called and I invited her to come with me. It was actually the first time we went out together. We brought her wheelchair but she wanted to walk.”

“It did not occur to me that I will be the first one to leave her as I went to the academy. I kept in touch with her as much as I can. Three months after she passed on.”

My mind went back to that scene from five years ago. Her face was still embedded in my mind. I thought she was pretty. She had make-up on but it was probably to hide her pale face. She was thin and must be because she was sick.

How did this happen?

I was embarrassed and wanted to kick myself. I wasted five years of lost friendship because of what? Why didn’t Leo reached out and explained?

Well, you closed him off, right? You shut him out of your life. You completely ignored him.

Why then no one tried to tell me? John? Where was John in all this?

As if hearing my questions, Leo spoke again.

“I told John about it but I gave him an instruction not to tell you. I thought it would be best for you to hear it from me directly. Alya, I knew I hurt you because you think I was keeping secrets. To think also that we were spending most of our summer together. I’m really sorry.”

Oh my gosh. I made a total fool of myself. The last five years was a punishment.