The Dragon's mate

Destined To Remain Sad

Emily

"......A stage where every man must play a part,

And mine a sad one.

(Antonio, Act 1 Scene 1) Merchant Of Venice"

When Rita returned to the dormitory in a drunken state, I was concerned. She had never been like this before.

"Rita, stay away from Jake's friend."

I could not prevent myself from warning my friend. She had been seeing Jake's friend for a fortnight now. I was afraid that, he would toss her away once he got his way with her. Rita who was deeply in love did not accept my kind intentions.

"Don't play a spoilsport Emily."

"You know, you already broke the rules by sneaking out and getting drunk."

"Ling told me that, you will be unhappy. I did not want to believe her, but it seems as if, she were right."

"Rita....."

"You know, I never thought that you would be jealous of my popularity."

"I am your best friend Rita. Wake up."

"We are no longer friends, Emily. Ling is much better than you."

I could recall every single word that Rita said to me in a drunken state. She had returned to the school dorm after an adventurous night out. She was reeking of alcohol. And so were my other room mates. I was the only one who had not gone. I was boycotted by all.

When Rita said those words to me I was unnerved. It was said that people were honest when drunk.

It was a bittersweet moment for me. I was glad that Rita, in her inebriated state had spoken honestly. I was sad that I, now, had to give up on this friend of mine. It seemed, that, I alone, was the sincere one in this friendship. Rita had been playing all along. She no longer needed me. While I did feel slightly hurt, I lay down to sleep. I knew that, once I woke up, it would be another day.

My parents had long abandoned me. In fact, if rumors were true then, the one who left me in the cradle outside the orphanage, had stated that I was unlucky. I should have never expected more from anyone else. Human relationships were, by nature fickle.

The next morning I woke up early and left the dorm before either of my mates did. I did not feel like talking to any one of them. I walked ahead aimlessly before, I stopped at the school library. As I stared at it's semi-open doors I realized that, this was the place which was my haven. This was the place where I could study hard and do well in life. The books were my only friends.

The library was open even though it was only six in the morning. Our librarian greeted me with a warm smile when I enterd.

"You're early."

"I wanted to catch up with some reading early."

"Help yourself. I will tell you when it is eight."

"Thanks."

The librarian and I shared a cordial relationship with each other. As I opened my textbook, my mind, once again wandered to what Rita had said last night.

I smiled to myself. Perhaps, I was unlucky. I would never have real friends in this life. I buried myself in my books and remained unaware that, a familiar pair of eyes was observing me from a distance.

"Both of you, it's time to leave for your breakfast."

It was only when the librarian said so that, I saw Jake, reading on a table across mine. I got up and handed the borrowed book to the librarian.

"Thanks, Ma'am."

"Emily, hurry up or you will never get any breakfast."

"Yes, Miss Egbert."

"Isn't Jake in your class. Both of you can leave together."

I gritted my teeth and waited for Jake to come out.

"You don't need to accompany me."

"I think that our destination is the same."

"Listen Jake, I'm not interested."

"I never said that you were. It's you who presumes."

"Leave."

"Jake....."

I could hear Ling's voice.

Jake suddenly pulled me to a corner and we hid behind a cupboard. 

"What the..."

"The world doesn't revolve around you Emily. I am attracted to you and I admit it. But, you better reign in this temper of yours. You are special."

"I'm sure that your pickup line has worked before. Sorry, but, I am unimpressed."

"You are the first one I am chasing. Generally, it is the other way round."

"Well, then you can stop  chasing me. I'm honored."

"Stop playing hard to get."

"I'm not."

Jake was very close to me now. As I stared at his lips, I admit that I was deeply drawn to them. Jake's eyes bore deeply into mine. After some time, he pecked at my lips.

This was a wake up call. I do not know how, but, I summoned a huge amount of strength to push him away.

"Woah.. You are strong."

I ran away, slightly breathless. As I hurried for the dining hall I could here a faint chuckle behind me.

"Cat..."

I felt like beating him, but, due to time constraint I let it go. I made a mental note to avoid him at all costs and proceeded for my breakfast.

On my way to the dining hall I was greeted by a sea of students. No one noticed me today. I was glad that I was not bullied by anyone. While leaving the dining hall I had wished to become invisible. It seemed as if my wish had been granted.

The hall was filled with numerous voices like always. I could hear Ling whining to her friends. I could see Jake entering and Ling sticking herself to him. If she knew what Jake had done a few minutes ago, I'd be in trouble. Fortunately Jake focussed his attention on her. I was relieved.

Finally, when the school principal arrived, the din died. I could eat my food peacefully. I had purposefully chosen a seat away from Rita's. Even though, I did not confront her, I would never forgive her. Last night, had taken off her mask. I should have known that no human being could be so perfect.

"Where were you?"

When I heard Rita's enthusiastic voice, I could not help but feel disgusted. How could someone act so well. However, I decided to play along. 

"Nothing, I'm slightly unwell."

"Oh! Do you want to go to the infirmary."

"No I'd be fine soon.'

"Emily, did something happen last night."

"Last night..."

"Yes, when we returned."

"I was asleep long before you all returned."

"Oh! We luckily escaped the school guard's eyes. Ro was discovered. And, he's now being expelled."

"You were lucky. Rita I have some work. I'll catch up with you later."

"Sure."

I found it hard to pretend. As I walked down for the class I wondered about why, I could not enjoy genuine friendships. I did not want people to fawn over me. But, I did yearn for normal human interactions. 

There was the new boy Jake, who wanted to treat me as a plaything. There was Ling, who hated me. And now, my friend Rita. I just discovered how good she was as an actor. She made a show of loving me, when, in reality she despised me. Would there ever be someone for me? For some reason, Mr. King's image flashed before my eyes. I shook my head. 

I entered the classroom with a sigh. I was an ordinary person. With nothing special, I had to rely on myself to survive. Sometimes I wished that I could be a part of a asupernatural existence. But, then I always reminded myself that there was no such thing as paranormal. It was just a figment of one's imagination. I had started doubting everything about my life now. Would I ever find true love? There was no answer.  No matter how hard I thought, I think I  was destined to be alone. Or, perhaps, I was destined to remain sad in this lifetime.