Boxing night
1189 Words
I wasn't sure what to make of his behavior. It wasn't like we were serious, we hadn't even talked about exclusivity with the friend with benefits thing, so he had no reason to be jealous. I wasn't even sure if that was really what jealous looked like.
Lucas had never really gotten jealous. Which I guess if I thought about it now, was kind of weird, if he has been so scared of losing me. It had annoyed me since I had kinda really wanted him to get jealous, petty as that may be. There had been only one time he had gotten jealous, and even then it had only been a tiny bit.
It had been the day before school let out for Christmas break. I was sitting in the parking lot, waiting for Lucas to pick me up when one of my old friends approached me. I mean, I guess at the time, we were still kind of friends, but I had began pulling away from them in order to spend more time with Lucas
He sat down beside me. "Hey."
I glanced at him. "Hey, Noah." It was weird, since once upon a time, before Lucas,I had actually liked Noah, as more than a friend, I mean. Looking at it now though, I wasn't sure how we could've ever worked out, since he was super shy and quiet. I was kind of glad I had met Lucas when I did instead of going down that road with Noah since it would've turned awkward, fast. "What's up?"
He grimaced. "Mueller's trying to kill us with Bio projects to do during the break. I swear he doesn't understand the concept of Christmas."
"Come on, you knew that when you signed up for his class," I replied. I had to admit, though, Noah was the kind of guy my parents would have loved if I brought him home. AP classes and 4.0 GPA and all that.
Noah brushed away some of the long strands of hair hanging over his eyes. "Didn't you want to take it too? What happened to your three AP classes a year plan?"
I shrugged. "I don't want too heavy of a course load, you know?" Besides, Lucas had told me Mueller was a hard ass marker and that it would just drag my average down.
"What classes do you have? We never see you anymore," Noah said.
"Just English, Spanish and Shop. Then I have lunch and spare." Which would have been my math class, but since I was already done Calc, I take some time off this year. It meant I ended school two hours earlier than everyone else since I didn't need to stick around for lunch.
"Shop?" he repeated. "Why are you taking shop?"
"I'm just exploring my interests," I defended, even though in truth, Lucas had told me it was an easy course and the teacher never assigned homework.
"And you're interested in being a carpenter?"
"I don't know, we'll see. Someone told me it was a fun class."
"You mean Lucas Troop?" Noah asked.
I turned to look at him. "Yeah, maybe Lucas so what?"
"Look Gigs," he hesitated. "We don't think He's good for you."
"Who's we?" I glanced around the parking lot, to see if I could spot any of my old friends, but it looked pretty empty.
"All of us," Noah said, bringing my attention back to him. "We never see you anymore."
"I'm just busy, okay?" I replied defensively.
"Okay. Um, we're heading to my cottage in Santa Cruz next week. Do you want to come?" he asked.
I bit my lip. I had wanted to spend some of Christmas with Lucas , but we hadn't made any plans for it yet. And last time all of us had gone had been fun. I was still debating my answer when Lucas pulled into the parking lot. "I'll think about it, okay?" I told Noah, standing up.
"I hope you can come," he said. "We all miss you."
I hesitated, then gave him a hug. It was true that I hadn't seen them in a while. Maybe Santa Cruz wouldn't be such a bad idea. It'd been a while since I'd been to the beach.
"Who was that?" Lucas asked, when I slid into the passenger seat.
I shrugged. "Just a friend."
"Just a friend?" he repeated.
I nodded absentmindedly, still wondering about the cottage thing.
"I don't think he wants to just be friends with you, Gigi," Lucas said.
I glanced at him. "It's just Noah."
"Didn't you used to like him?"
Was He jealous? He'd never gotten jealous before "Yeah, I guess, but that was before I met you."
"What did he want?" he asked.
"Just wanted to know what I was doing winter break. He invited me to his cottage," I couldn't resist adding, to find out if Lucas really was jealous.
"I don't want you alone with him," Lucas said.
I could've told him we wouldn't be alone, that the rest of my old friend group was going as well. Instead, I asked, "Are you jealous?"
He glanced at me, then took one of my hands, locking our fingers together. "I just want you close for Christmas."
Needless to say, I didn't end up going to Noah's cottage that year.
Thinking about it now, I wondered if Lucas goal had been to isolate me from my friends. Make it so I depended on him the most. Anyone could tell me that was a classic abusive relationship sign, but it hadn't seemed like it at the time.
I hated looking back on everything that had happened with Lucas and seeing it for what it really was. Not because I still wanted to believe in Lucas but looking back and seeing how naive and gullible I had been made me cringe. How easy it had been for Lucas to play me and get what he wanted. How cliche his lines had been, how inconsistent he had been.
That had been part of the mystery, though, I guess.
No, not mystery, really.
Lucas hadn't been mysterious. He'd just only cared enough to try when he suspected I was pulling loose. I had just thought that was part of his bad boy aura, that those times he tried were when his love for me got to be too much.
I had rationalized everything he had done that had been suspicious.
I had purposely ignored all the flashing neon red warning signs.
And what was worse, though, was I could never stop wondering if I was doing it again. With every new person I met.
He f*****g ruined me.
My phone buzzed in my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts. It was an email from Damon, in response to the one I had sent him about my dream. I unlocked my phone and opened it, expecting a huge paragraph to answer the dozen questions I had asked about what Christian being part of the fire and why he had stayed unlike Lucas.
But instead of a long explanation, there was only one short line of text.
- Writer
