Curveball [BL] COMPLETED

11

The rest of the week blurs by for Nico, until it's the night before their first game. The first game of the season. Practice is harder, more time consuming, and absolutely brutal. Coach is drilling every last technique he can into them before the big day.

They've been practicing for three hours now, and Nico can't see Coach dismissing them anytime soon. It's going to be a long night, he realizes.

Coach barks for the second string and non-starters to get off his field around the four hour mark, leaving only the starting players of first string. They're all breathless, all panting for a desperate breath of air, and all barely able to stand up straight.

But Coach doesn't stop. He stands at home plate, tosses a ball in the air, and swings his bat as hard as he can. The ball goes digging into the ground, right between second and third where Carmen's supposed to be.

Carmen's not there, though. He's still covering third after Roman ran back to catch Coach's previous ball.

It's intentional, Nico realizes, turning to watch Carmen run and dive for the ball. It bounces off the edge of his glove before rolling onto the ground. "C'mon, Carmen! I thought you were quick on your feet!"

Carmen picks himself up, breathing heavily as dirt stains most of his uniform. The original white and red is colored orange with the occasional streaks of green.

Nico wants to say something encouraging, something that'll make Carmen smile even just the slightest, but Coach is just as much on his ass as he is everyone else's. It's not time for playing around like they usually do during practice.

It'll be the first game of the f*****g season. Spectators are going to be judging their first game on how the rest of their season will go. Essentially, it can make or break them.

Coach spends all of sunset like this. Focusing on each position, making their life hell for as long as he deems fit, before moving onto the next player.

The outfield doesn't have it any easier than the inner. The amount of times Nico's seen Jax dive for the ball is enough to make him cringe. It's a lot of space to cover back there for only three people, and Coach is deliberately hitting it in harder places for them to catch. 

Nico's impressed by his aim, and he mentally thanks whatever greater power over and over that he'll never have to face off against Barrel on the field.

Eventually, Coach cuts them loose. It's not with praise or satisfaction that he dismisses them, but because they need every hour of sleep they can get. He grunts for them to remember how they feel right now and fix it in their sleep.

Fix it in our sleep? Nico swallows back his confusion as he chugs his water, sweating from every pore possible. He should be used to it- the sweat clinging to his skin, but you never really do get used to your balls damp with sweat.

Unsurprisingly, most of them don't leave, even after Coach is gone. They take the time to drink and catch their breaths, but then they're right back on the field, attempting to tune all their weak points Coach pinpointed perfectly.

Nico's about to follow suit when Roman brushes by him. They both pause, but Nico's quick to carry on. He doesn't get far. Roman catches his arm and halts his younger brother's steps, forcing him to turn around.

Nico swallows and reluctantly turns his head back. "What?" It comes out meaner than he intended, snottier. He almost winces when Roman falters.

Roman doesn't look like he knows why he stopped Nico himself. There's a pinch in his expression as he says, "..Mom and Dad are probably coming down tomorrow."

Nico knew that. They'd probably come down anytime Roman has an important game. "I heard," he nods. "You gave them tickets, right?"

But Roman doesn't answer him, "Your pitching's gotten a lot better. Whatever Coach did with you a few weeks ago really worked." Nico bites the inside of his cheek, wondering why Roman was telling him this now. Roman let's him go, only just realizing he still had Nico's arm in his grip. "I.. wasn't sure what to say to you back then. You looked so upset. I just.." he rubs his neck, "..didn't know what to say."

"You didn't need to say anything. I won't pitch like that again, especially not tomorrow."

"I didn't mean it like that. You were always great," Roman stresses, "I'm just.. proud of you."

Nico falters. He hates the way his stomach twists and knots. He suddenly feels small again, like he's less than Roman. You're not, he assures himself. You're not, you're not. But he feels a lot like it, still getting that surge of thrill when Roman compliments him.

Nico doesn't want the compliment. Doesn't want the satisfaction that comes with it. Because that means he cares what Roman thinks about him. And he doesn't. "Thanks." He swallows back everything else he wants to say and makes a weak attempt at conversation, "Are you.. going home?"

Roman hikes his bag a little higher on his shoulder. "Yeah. I was going to go over Nixon's stats again." Their opposing team tomorrow. "I'll hold a meeting tomorrow during breakfast and go over it with everyone."

Nico's reminded again of Roman's position on the team. Captain. But he feels even more surprised at the mention of breakfast, "You're coming to breakfast? Really?"

His shoulder shrugs, attempting a smile. "It's important. I'm more worried about their power hitters more than their pitching. You've got them beat by skill."

Nico wonders who's complimenting him. His captain, or his brother. The insecure part of him that's never able to shake his inferiority complex thinks it's his brother trying to salvage what little relationship they have.

Nico nods because he's sure anything else he'll say will leave him with regret. "Get home safe." And then he's turning on his heel, walking back to the field where it feels safe. Where he can finally breathe.

Juda and Carmen are waiting for him by home plate, unashamedly watching their encounter. Carmen's pulling on his batting gloves, eyes still set behind Nico on Roman. "What was that?" he asks.

"Nothing," Nico dismisses.

It makes Nico feel even shitter, because it shouldn't be odd for him to talk to his own brother. But it is, and it always has been. The entire summer Nico spent with Roman did little to mend their relationship.

"Wanna pitch a few before heading in?" Juda asks. "Carmen said he'll bat for us."

Nico's quick to accept and pick up one of the many baseballs littering the field, feeling desperate to focus on baseball and not Roman. But it's hard. Roman is baseball to him. For as long as he's remembered, he's only known Roman as baseball.

Carmen glances at him from under his cap, a teasing grin edging his lips as he gets into his batting stance. "When's the last time I hit one of your pitches?"

Nico's smiling back before he knows it. "March 13th, right? 2019." Back in high school when they were on opposing teams. "I don't think you hit it, though. I distinctly remember striking you out~"

"You got me out in the last inning," Carmen agrees. "But I hit a few before that. Now show me if it's different." A tit of his head, "Unless you're nervous?"

Juda drawls a soft noise and crouches down over home plate. "Of course it's different," he says. "He's got me now." He holds his glove out as Nico stands on the mound. "He's provoking us, Nico~ You just gonna let him walk all over you?"

No, Nico shakes his head and grips the ball tighter. The tension in his shoulders slowly disappears, only leaving behind a grin. "I've changed my pitching style. You sure you're confident batting? It's not the same as you're used to."

"Sounds a lot like you're stalling," Carmen teases. "Don't get too hurt when I hit it into right field."

Juda shakes his head with a chuckle and focuses on Nico. They lock eyes as he holds down all five fingers, intent clear and eyes blazing.

Nico's breath catches. Really? His gaze says. Juda nods encouragingly, glove held out as Carmen stands in front of him.

It's a new pitch. A pitch they've never even thrown during a practice game before. They've been saving it for their real games, something's that hopefully meant to shake up their opponents. Not even their coach knows about it yet, because it's still not perfect. Not even good - Nico's only been able to land it a handful of times.

So he's surprised Juda's asking for such a pitch.

He must really respect Carmen as a batter, Nico thinks, mentally preparing himself.

With a small breath, he winds up, brings his arm down, and feels the ball roll from his fingertips.

⚾️

If Nico thought Roman cared too much about stats, Juda was ten times worse.

Later into the night, Nico shakes out his freshly showered hair and drips water onto the floor where he sits. He leans against Juda's bed and brings his knees to his chest, tilting his head back as he eyes the catcher. "Isn't that a lot of work? You even made a book for it."

"I like doing it," Juda mumbles, busy scribbling in his black notebook. Nerd, Nico's lips twitch up. "Roman asked me," he adds, briefly glancing at Nico.

Nico hums in understanding. Juda's always been pretty good at this stuff, so it's not surprising, but the mention of his brother puts him off. But Roman's not just his brother, Nico remembers. Roman's their captain- Juda's captain too.

"You okay?" Juda asks, reeling Nico's attention back.

"I'm fine. Good- just.. tired."

"Practice was hard," Juda agrees, still scribbling in that little notebook. "But after practice, I mean. Did Roman say anything weird? You've been a little quiet since you two talked."

Nico watches Juda silently. Observant, logical Juda that waits until they're alone to ask if he's okay. "Nothing weird," he finally says, looking away. "He was just telling me our parents were coming tomorrow. Your family's coming too, right?"

Juda ignores him, "You can talk to me, y'know? Carmen's usually better at the whole.. advice thing, but I can lend an ear or two." He glances at Nico, "We're friends, right?"

Friends.

Nico rubs the side of his neck and feels his hair still damp. "There's really nothing to talk about. Our relationship is.. weird, I guess. It's not that we don't get along, we just don't ever talk to each other." He shrugs, but it's not as casual as he hoped. "We're good on the field but that's it."

Juda keeps writing and Nico's grateful. He's not sure he'd be able to be so honest with Juda's full attention on him. "And you're okay with that? You don't ever wanna try and fix your relationship?"

"Fix? It's not like it's broken or anything. It's just.. not there." He cringes as soon as it comes out of his mouth. Maybe Juda does have a point.

Nico doesn't even know where he'd start with Roman. Baseball is the only thing they have in common, and it's only torn them apart. How else am I supposed to bond with him? The thought of spending hours with Roman outside of baseball makes his skin crawl. What would I say? What would we do?

Nico's eyes shift up when Carmen rolls over in bed. He was supposedly sleeping, but he looks wide awake to Nico. "Can I say something?" he asks. "I might seem like a d**k, though."

Nico shrugs and waves his hand in a go for it motion.

Carmen brushes back his bedhead before propping his head in his palm. "Your guys' relationship is pretty fuckin' weird. I don't think I've ever seen you guys talk more than a few times, and it's only been about baseball when you do." It's true, so Nico nods, but then Carmen points out, "Roman tries to talk to you, though. Not a lot, but you always brush him off when he tries."

Juda throws a look over at Carmen.

Nico's expression falters.

"You've never told me why your relationship is so strained, so I'm not gonna say you should talk to him or anything, but it seems like he's at least trying to talk to you."

It's hard, Nico doesn't say. He hates how he feels when he's with Roman. He's that same little kid he was when he was younger, chasing after his older brother, but no matter how hard Nico runs, he never gets closer.

It's always the same, no matter how old they get.

Nico's head turns to Juda. "Does he try?" He's distanced himself from Roman so much he's never even noticed his attempts at talking. All Nico can think about is running away.

Juda's mouth opens and closes, struggling to pick out his words. "He asks about you sometimes," he settles for. "Not all the time, but he'll ask how you're doing. If you're getting enough sleep. Stuff like that."

Nico chews at his lip, mood suddenly dimming.

He never noticed.

"Talk to him, don't talk to him, it doesn't matter," Carmen says. "But if you want to fix your relationship, it seems like he'd be willing to try too. That's all I'm saying."

Nico nods slowly, "..I know, thanks." He rubs his neck and adds, "Really." 

Juda suddenly kicks his foot out and pokes Nico's head. "We'll pick your side either way. You could be a total dickhead and I'll stick pick your side. You want him gone? I'll deal with it."

Nico smiles despite himself, brushing Juda's foot off him. "There's no sides," he assures.

"No? Why's your relationship so.. strained then?"

"You can tell us," Carmen wiggles his eyebrows. "I won't judge you if you did something really f****d up. I totaled my sister's car once and then blamed it on my other sister."

Nico shrugs a shoulder awkwardly, because it's a whole lot easier than saying his jealously made him slowly hate his brother. It's something that took him years to finally admit to himself, and he doesn't think he can handle saying it aloud. "Just something childish."

Something falls over Nico's head, covering his eyes and blanketing his shoulders. "Dry your hair," Juda says. "You'll catch a cold."

Nico exhales quietly and brings his hand up. Slowly, he dries his hair and lets his smile fall. It's harder to keep his emotions in check now that he's hidden, only the soft inside of the towel able to see his sunken expression.

It hits him quickly and all at once. How easily he ruined his relationship with his only sibling because he was jealous. Jealous of how great Roman was, how nice and loving he was, how much better he was than Nico. His parents loved Roman so much more than him, and he took all that sadness and jealousy and anger out on Roman.

There's a hand on his head. Nico freezes when he feels it.

The hand gives him three gentle pats before disappearing and taking all the comfort with it. Nico's not sure how long he sits there frozen and waiting for another pat to come, but it doesn't. 

He slowly breathes out and continues drying his hair.

⚾️

October 1st. Game day.

Nico shakes the jitters from his hands and listens to the crowd. They're not cheering, but their combined chatter is loud and overwhelming in the large stadium. He hasn't stepped foot in a stadium in over five months. The thrill of it all is rushing back to him, flooding his mind and reminding him why he chose pitcher as his position.

Front and center, all eyes on him.

It's pregame right now. They have another hour until the game actually starts. Nico waits in Bailey's waiting room with anticipation, ignoring all the other guys stretching and prepping for the three hour game they should be playing. If they're lucky, even shorter.

As Bear passes, Nico quickly calls out to him, "Bear, Bear, Bear!" The overtly tall first baseman stops and perks before looking around for who called him. When he spots Nico waving his arms, he grins and strides over. "Help me stretch?"

"Sure," he easily agrees, settling on the padded floor with Nico. "Doesn't Juda or Carmen usually help you, though?"

Nico sniffs at the mention of them. "I'm trying to stay focused," he mumbles. It's not entirely a lie. Carmen and Juda distract him quite a bit, but Nico's mostly embarrassed. After last nights talk, he crawled in bed and thought over their words over and over, until he was left with nothing but embarrassment.

Knowing he easily brushed Roman off and others noticed was a hard pill to swallow. So blinded by the need to run and hide, he never noticed. I must've seemed like an ass.

Nico winces as Bear presses into his lower back, slowly pushing him down to stretch his hips. The subtle pain makes him think of Carmen, the blond always stretching him perfectly. "How'd you get into baseball?" Nico asks, distracting himself from the pain.

"Me?" Bear perks. "Uh, it was back in high school, my junior year. I was kind of jumping from one friends couch to another, and a buddy I was staying with had someone break in while he was at work. I was sleeping on the couch and just grabbed the nearest weapon when I saw the random guy break through the window." He suddenly laughs, "I bashed his head in with this baseball bat I found."

"What the f**k?" Nico leans up and twists his head around, but Bear gently guides him right back down, carrying on with their stretches.

"I signed up for my school's baseball team the next day. That feeling when I hit his head," Bear stares down as he unfurls his hand, "I keep trying to replicate it, but it doesn't feel the same. Batting is pretty nice too, though, so I'll keep playing."

"I'm just the tiniest bit afraid of you now."

"What?" Bear laughs. "Why?"

"Because. What the f**k? You liked pounding some guys head in so much you joined baseball to do it again?"

Bear shrugs and slides his hands along Nico's arm, his touch soft and gentle as he pulls Nico's arm back. "Pretty much." He's crazy, Nico almost laughs in disbelief. But he's also really f*****g good at batting. "I hope we win today. Coach said he'll give us three days off if we do."

Nico perks, because this is news to him. "Really? You're not f*****g with me just so I'll pitch better?"

"Nope~ But that's a pretty good idea. Hey- I heard that Juda's gonna streak if we win."

"You're hilarious," Nico replies dryly. Bear snickers to himself. "Hey-" Nico glances back at him, "..Is anyone coming to watch you?"

Bear shakes his head, "Nah~ But it's okay. Reese said he'll watch a movie with me later tonight." He laughs again, but it's softer. Fonder. "I think he thinks I'm upset about it."

Nico looks around for Reese, and it's not hard to spot him at all. He's shorter than everyone, even Rio who's pushing 5'4. Their second baseman is by the lockers scowling to himself as he adjusts his binder over his chest. He seems to be struggling pulling it into place.

"Ah," Bear pauses, his eyes stopping on Reese, "He usually uses tape for games." Bear glances at Nico apologetically, "Is it okay if I go help him?"

Nico's about to nod and shoo him off, but Carmen interrupts him, coming up behind Bear and nudging him in the shin. "Yeah, go. This is my job." Carmen easily takes Bears's spot while the latter bounds off to help his roommate. Crush? Nico's not too sure about their status.

"What're you doing, huh?" Carmen drawls, hands automatically reaching out to stretch Nico's arms. "This is our thing."

"Couldn't find you," Nico lies.

Carmen doesn't call him out on his bullshit, only hums and pulls his arm back a little more. "You nervous at all?"

"Of course. It's always a little nerve wracking, but I.. like it, I guess," Nico mumbles. "The pressure of everything."

Carmen's hands pause, stilling on his shoulder, before slowing applying pressure again. "It's thrilling," Carmen agrees quietly. "Everyone watching your every move. Cheering for you, waiting for you to mess up."

Nico swallows and nods. He's always loved it.

All eyes on him.

"Hundreds of people," Carmen utters, "watching you put on a show just for them." His hands run down Nico's sides, cupping his hips to gently twist them left. Nico's weight shifts under Carmen's palms, and the hold is so, so familiar. "It always feels best when you secure a run, right? Not our team, but you. It's always nerve wracking stepping up to plate, but when you hit it just right, the crowd goes wild."

Nico nods, because he f*****g loves it.

Loves the thrill of people underestimating him because of his size and then watching him hit into the stands.

"It must be a lot more intense pitching," Carmen's voice tickles his neck, quiet and soft in the boisterous room. His voice's drowned out by others, only meant for Nico to hear. "So many people depending on you. Everyone betting on what you'll pitch, and then finally striking out the batter and hearing all those people cheer for you. I bet you love it."

Carmen continues, "You were meant for the mound. You stand on it like it's yours." His and his alone. All pitchers are greedy, but Nico's just a little more. Greedy son of a b***h, Coach likes to call him when he refuses to get off the mound.

Nico tilts his head to the side and faintly sees Carmen staring at him. He can feel it - Carmen's eyes leisurely trailing over him. Unconsciously, Nico glances down at Carmen's lips, and the shortstop notices right away.

They hold each other's stares for far too long, gaze lingering when it shouldn't, before Carmen's looking away. The confidence Nico felt coming from him visibly falters, and Carmen's left with a flush spreading across his cheeks.

That's cute, Nico thinks, twisting forward again.

"All done?" He asks.

"Yeah, done." Carmen pats his sides before standing up, stepping away from Nico.

And Nico bites the inside of his cheek, knowing if Carmen hadn't looked away he would've done something regretful. Not here- Not here when they're not hidden in the safety of their room, pretending they're not slowly ruining their friendship as they giggle and make out under the blankets. 

"I'm gonna go fill my water bottle up," Carmen says, jerking his hand in a random direction. And Nico nods, watching him walk away without any of the previous confidence he had coming over.

Nico blows out a small breath and stares up at the tall ceiling.

He knows they're slowly ruining their friendship with whatever they are. But if he gets to see confident, s*x driven Carmen get all shy over the temptation of a kiss, it might just be worth it.