Loving you Forever

Chapter 6

Rebekah was careful to make sure that the letter was hidden securely in the folds of her dress as the maid led her to one of the Gibson' many sitting rooms. She still wasn't completely sure that Nikolas could get a girl like Caroline to fall for him with nothing up his sleeve but a few letters. Her brother had never been the most sensitive or open person in her life. He liked to hide his pain, or loneliness, with blood, alcohol and violence. Rebekah was also worried about what would happen when Jasper eventually caught up to them, changing their names and moving could only hide them for so long. Especially with the extravagance that seemed to rule their lives.

Rebekah was jolted from her thoughts when the maid, Anne, opened a door and announced her presence. Rebekah rolled her eyes, and entered the room. She went right up to Caroline and gave her a hug, "How are you handling things today my dear?"

"It is will be much better now that I have you to keep me some company." Caroline replied, and then turned to the maid, and giving her a pointed stare said, "You are excused."

Anne bowed her head and left, wishing she knew how to get Caroline to trust her, or at least find a good place to eavesdrop. Lady Victoria was very interested in any information that could be gathered on her stepdaughter, and paid well for it.

Caroline waited until she was sure Anne had left, before saying, "What did you brother think of the arrangement we discussed?"

"He was eager to get a chance to be with you, and wrote you this." Rebekah said and removed the letter from its hiding place. She handed it to Caroline with a delicate smile.

Caroline took the envelope in her hand and looked at it with shock. She hadn't expected for a man of Nik' reputation to even try for a chance at her hand, especially after it had been made clear that she would not warm his bed. Caroline looked up from the letter and told Rebekah as much, "I did not actually think he would agree to the terms."

"Something about you has him interested Caroline. It surprises me as well, I have never once seen him behave this way." Rebekah told her friend, and glanced at the letter, "Do you want me to leave so you can read it or should I stay for afternoon tea?"

Caroline smiled at the girl and hid the letter with her own dress this time, "Your visits are the only social interaction I can get outside of two young boys, my father, stepmother, and a bunch of servants. I need you to stay for tea." She replied with a laugh and glided Rebekah over to the balcony, where she had had the tea set up before the younger girl had arrived.

Caroline had been waiting patiently until she was left alone in her room, Anne was currently making sure that the fireplace was firmly burning. She had enjoyed spending the day with Rebekah, even though most of the time the younger girl had gone on about the good qualities of her brother. Caroline did not fail to notice that all of his good qualities were somehow related to his loyalty to his family. Caroline could respect that, it was something to be proud of, and not something she could say she had much personal experience with.

She waited until Anne had closed the door firmly behind her, leaving her alone and tucked securely into her bed, with only a candle and the fireplace lighting up the room. Caroline carefully removed the letter she had hidden within one of her pillows, and began to read:

My Lady Caroline,

I was so pleased to hear it when my sister told me that you were willing to get to know me in this method. I must admit that I am not the best when it comes to sharing my feelings, or thoughts. I was very touched by your willingness to share so much of your past with me, a virtual stranger, the other day.

I feel as though it would only be fair for me to do the same. I know that writing down an emotion or story on paper is not the same as voicing it aloud, but this is the closest I can came to that level of intimacy, given our current situational boundaries.

The greatest loss I have felt in my life is the death of my youngest brother, Henrik. His death was my fault, though it did not come from my hands directly. My siblings and I were born somewhere else and only recently traveled to England. The land we called home was wild and very secluded. Against all the warnings, and my better judgment, Henrik and I were out much too late one night. The full moon was in full swing, so it made it easy for us to see, but we missed the creatures stalking us. The wolves were on us before I could even think to draw my sword. They tore at my brother, ripping at his skin and breaking his bones. They killed him before I was able to fight them off of him and scare them away. When I brought my brother's broken body back to our family, there was nothing left to be done, he was already gone. I blamed myself, and so did everyone else. My father, someone who never treated me well to begin with, was nearly murderous. I am sure that it was only my mother, whose torn screams still haunt my nightmares, that kept him at bay.

The biggest regret in my life is what happened with Henrik, and it will forever torment me. That one event changed my entire future, and that of my family, another burden I feel placed on my shoulders.

I hope that this, in some small way, has proven that your willingness to share your past with me was not something to be shameful of. We all have demons hiding in the shadows of our history.

I do hope that you choose to reply to this letter. I would like to have a woman such as yourself in my life, all you have to do is agree.

Fondly, Nik

Caroline had fought to keep her tears from falling, but she had failed and now wiped to remove the moisture from her cheeks. It was awful that he had been holding on to such pain and guilt. Caroline was surprised that should get such a sense of raw emotion from something as unfeeling as a slip of parchment.

She looked at the candle and wondered if she should risk it the danger of being discovered to move into her adjoining sitting room to write him a response. Rebekah would not visit for over a day yet, and that gave her time. With a sigh Caroline leaned over and blew out the candle, surrounding her in near darkness and leaving her alone in her thoughts.

Nik was even more nervous today than he was when he had given Rebekah the letter two days earlier. For today would determine if he was to get a response in return, the presence or absence of a letter would show him if she was willing to get to know him, or if his terrible past had scared her away.

He clenched the glass in his hand, turning and twisting it as he paced silently in his sitting room waiting for Rebekah's return from her visit to Caroline's.

"You will ruin that carpet if you keep this up Nik." Raymondcommented as he strolled into the room, not caring that his opinion wasn't wanted.

"Go away. Don't you have some poor, innocent woman to corrupt?" Nik asked as he turned to stare out the window, which opened up onto the expansive backyard.

"She will wait, the women always do." Raymondteased and flopped himself down in an armchair, "Now, are you ready to tell me why you are so infatuated with this widow?"

"It is none of your concern." Nik replied through gritted teeth, "Leave me in peace and go take your annoying personality someplace else."

Raymondput on a face of faux pain, but pushed himself out of the chair, "You insult me brother. I am only trying to help you with your happiness."

"Of that I am sure." Nik commented, sarcasm lacing his voice.

"One day you'll take me seriously Nik." Raymondanswered before flashing from the room, the door slamming behind him.

Nik downed his drink and walked over to the table to pour another. Just as he started to lift the bottle, the door opened and Rebekah sauntered in.

"Nik, I have something for you." Rebekah told him, fanning herself with the letter, a giant grin on her smug face.

"Well, are you going to giving to it me or are you waiting for me to beg?" Nik asked, eyeing the letter with both greed and nervousness as he poured himself the drink.

"Would you beg for it?" Rebekah asked, with a laugh, but immediately handed it over to him when he gave her a look that threatened her life. Rebekah walked back toward the door, "I will leave you to it. I certainly am enjoying all of this."

"I am sure you are little sister." Nik replied and waited until she had closed the door before he ran back to his chair and ripped open the envelope. Nik read the words with a fluttering heart, and for the first time in centuries had hope for some happiness in his life:

Dear Nikolas,

Thank you for sharing such a deep, and personal experience with me. I am so sorry for the loss of your younger brother, mine are very dear to me and it would pain for me to lose them. I would love to offer reassurances that the situation was beyond your control, and therefore you are not to blame for his death, but I am sure you have heard such things in the past, from people much more important to you than I. I do wish to offer you my ear, or shoulder, if you ever feel the need to discuss it further.

Nik paused as he let her words soak in. She was not blaming him, and was even offering to console him on the matter. He was sure that neither of those had ever happened to him before, from anyone, including his siblings. He took a long swig of his drink before continuing on:

I thought it might be best to start telling each other some of our happier experiences. The one I have chosen will entertain you for certain, as I know you have already expressed interest in hearing it.

Three months after the death of my daughter, I thought that it was due time that I left my bed, and my grief. I told my maid to prepare for a trip into town, I wished to buy some fabric to make a new dress. I was hoping that the activity would help keep my mind busy, and maybe help rebuild my heart, one little piece at a time. As I was walking through the market, looking at the different fabrics available for sale, a dyed fabric of different shades of blue caught my eye. I reached out to grab for it, but instead of coming in contact with the fabric, my hand landed on another. I immediately apologized, but moved to touch the fabric nonetheless. The hand my had touched belonged to a feisty young blonde who proceeded to tell me that she had eyed the fabric first, making it hers and that I should move on. Now, if I had been the woman I was before the death of my children, I would have probably just nodded my head and moved to the next lovely choice. But, I was no longer that person. I turned to your sister and told her that I would do no such thing, that the fabric was exactly what I was looking for, and I would not give it up so easily. This then led to your sister and I arguing over who would look better in a dress made from such a fabric, we fought for nearly an hour, making a nice scene for the vendors and other customers. In the end, I relented and left the fabric for your sister. As I was walking away from the market, a voice called out to me. I was very surprised when I turned around to see your sister rushing up to me, the fabric we had fought over held in the hands of her maid. She then invited me to join me for tea at a little shop with a garden. I accepted. I told her a few things about myself, I was nearly as forward with her as I was with you. It was a pleasant conversation, and the most fun I had with another person in months. She and I agreed to meet up again at the same location two days later, and from there our friendship was born.

Meeting your sister was the first good thing that happened to me since the death of my children, and I will forever love her for her support, and for her friendship. I hope it is not too forward of me to say, but meeting you, and getting to know you has been wonderful. I look forward to receiving your next letter.

Affectionately, Caroline.

Nik grinned as he set down the parchment. The letter had not been what he had expected, but he was happy that it had been what it was. She both showed that she cared for him, and his sister, who was the most important person in his life. He loved his brothers, but Rebekah had always been his favorite. Nik was happy that Rebekah finally had a friend that truly cared about her, it was something that he knew his sister had desperately craved her entire life. Nik made himself a promise as those thoughts crossed his mind, that no matter what happened between him and Caroline, he could not let Rebekah lose her.

He quickly finished his drink before walking over to his writing desk, and he tried to think of a happy tale to her. There was so much darkness and hate in his past, that he would have to go to some tale from his childhood, and even happy memories there were hard to find, and would require a lot of changes.

Nik let out a sigh as looked down at the blank paper, and tried to think of the words to say to the beautiful blonde widow that had captured his mind, possibly, if he allowed it, his heart.

Caroline was trying hard to remain calm and fidget in her seat as she was forced to sit through dinner with her father, stepmother and two younger brothers. She loved her brothers, she truly did but tonight they were not making it easy with their constant insults and thrown food.

It seemed her stepmother agreed with her as she yelled out, "Boys enough. Go to you rooms, I cannot take anymore of this silly little bickering."

"But Mama, we haven't had dessert yet!" William, the eldest, spoke out.

"And you aren't going to have it. I have asked you twice now to settle down, but still you must harass your brother." Victoria said, glaring at her sons before nodding to one of the maids to show them out, "Hopefully this will teach you a lesson for next time."

Caroline gave William and Jameson sad smiles as they shuffled out of the dining room, their heads downcast. She shook her head at their silliness and took a sip of the wine in front of her.

"How was your visit with the Lady Plantagenet today Caroline?" Victoria asked her stepdaughter, the disapproval thick in her tone.

"Lovely, it is nice to know that I have such a supportive friend at a time like this." Caroline replied, looking at her stepmother straight in the eye, her dislike for the elder woman clear in her stare.

"That it is." Her father commented, and looked between the two women. He knew that there was some sort of feud going on between them, but he had never learned why or how it had started. He wasn't sure he wanted to, "Have you taken any time to go over what we have discussed?"

"Andrew hasn't even been dead two weeks Father. Can you really expect me to be ready to pick a new husband?" Caroline asked, giving the maid a small smile as she placed a pastry in front of her for dessert.

"I just want you to know your options Caroline, I would hate to see you become an old maid with no one to care for you. I will not be around forever." Bill told his oldest child, glancing at her with sad eyes.

Caroline smiled at him, "I love you Father, and I know you are only trying to look out for me. But don't worry, I will find a new husband, just maybe not at the rate you would like me to."

The three of them finished their dessert in silence before Caroline excused herself. She quickly made her way to her room, the new letter from Nik was almost burning a hole in her pocket. She made easy work of the seal and sat down in the chair in front of her fireplace to read it:

My Lovely Caroline,

Thank you for your kind words on behalf of my brother, they meant a great deal to me. I also enjoyed hearing the story of how you became such a good friend to my sister, she has needed someone like you in her life.

As for the happy stories, I am afraid that there are not many of those in my life. One that I can think of clearly though, I would be happy to share with you. The first time I ever beat Edward at anything, was a mock sword fight that Rebekah and Henrik witnessed. Edward and I had finished our chores early, and decided to have some a little enjoyment with our free time. The fight was lighthearted with witty remarks and taunts. I am not sure how I did it, but I somehow gained the upper hand and won. Looking at Rebekah and Henrik's laughing faces, I felt truly happy for a few moments, the last ones I had for years. And until recently, I did not see any reason to believe that there were any coming in the future.

To that note, the most recent happy moment I experienced was receiving your letter. I was truly surprised, and touched that you wrote back to me. You have given me something I have not had in a long time Caroline, hope for a better future, and I thank you for that. I can't wait for the day that you accept you my offer of marriage and allow me to be a part of your life, for you are truly a light in my darkness.

Yours Fondly, Nik

Caroline smiled as she took in his touching words, and noticed that there was a second piece of paper in the envelope. At first she had thought that that he had written a letter than required two pages, but that was not the case. She looked at the second piece, and put a hand to her mouth as she took out a beautiful drawing. It was a portrait of her, smiling up at him as she did while they were dancing. She could even see the detail he put into the drawing, making it look as if it was a perfect recreation of the first time they danced together. She was going to think that they would have more opportunities to dance, especially if Rebekah got her way on the matter.

There was a subtle knock on the door, and Caroline quickly hid the letter and drawing from view. She could not, however, keep the smile off of her face as Anne entered to help her prepare for bed. And she knew, that tonight her head would be filled with dreams of Nikolas Jasperson, and those were the best kind of dreams she believed.