The Silent Wolf (#2 of the Grey pack)

I fight for you

Nico’s P.O.V.

I opened my eyes as the sound of something beeping had woken me up. The first thing I noticed was white, everything around me was plain white, and for a split second, I wondered if I had actually died and gone to heaven? But as soon as I tried to move, I was overwhelmed by pain, and I groaned, trying to move to make the pain go away, which didn’t seem to help no matter what I did.

Nope

Not heaven

Definitely not heaven!

“Please sir, try to stay still.” I heard a male voice tell me, and I frowned, trying to find a face to match with the voice. I opened my eyes again and searched the room while I was still so f*****g tired, looking down to see that I was actually lying down in a bed with white sheets, and next to me stood a man in a white vest.

Is he a doctor?

Am I in the hospital?

I groaned again, the pain too overwhelming and wanting to tell the doc, and as if the man could read my mind, he did something on my right. As I tried to look up, I saw an IV bag, the tube going straight into my arm. My best guess was that the man had just placed something in the IV bag, and I hoped to God it would be something to ease the pain. Good enough to put down a freaking horse.

“You have been through quite an adventure.” The doctor stated, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe it, the disgust present in his voice over what had happened to me. I frowned, trying to think back at what had happened that had made me end up in this place again. And as I swallowed, feeling how something was off inside of my mouth, I gasped, fully remembering everything in a microsecond. The beating, the torture, the removal of my tongue by a f*****g executioner. The way my Alpha had called out to other warriors to get me the hell away from the lands where they were hiding themselves at the moment, and to make sure that I would remain silent, forever.

But I groaned as I remembered a guy standing over me after I had been left out in the woods to die, a face that I had never seen before in my life, the words that he had told me going on and on in my head…

Hang on, man.

Hang on, man.

…

Fuck, did that guy actually save me? Was that guy responsible for getting me here and getting me medical help? Was he the reason that I was actually still alive at the moment? Because I had been so certain that I would have ended up dead. I had already taken my peace with it, realizing that there would be no way out of this mess anymore for me. The pain had been too hard at the times, my wounds too severe to come back from, too big to make me heal and make a run for it.

“I need you to stay very still, sir. You are still healing. I don’t want you to start bleeding again. You are lucky you didn’t choke on your own blood.” The man in white told me, as he laid a hand on my shoulder to make me relax, but instead, I jumped once I felt his skin against mine, and flashbacks of my Alpha beating me filled my brain. And as soon as our eyes met, I saw it in his eyes, the pity, the sadness. Over me…

I am not a complete man anymore…

Hell, right now I don’t even feel like half a man…

“You went through something tragic, your body and your wolf still need to heal tremendously. You are safe here, under the care of our pack and Alpha. So I insist that you rest.” The doctor told me, even though I found his words hard to believe at the time. If my old Alpha, Dimitri, would end up on their pack borders, guns blazing and words threatening, the Doctor’s Alpha would all too soon hand me back over to my old pack in order to protect his own pack members and loved ones. Because of one thing I was certain, I didn’t mean a damn thing to anybody in the world. I was nobody special. I was garbage, disposable. But still, knowing I wasn’t safe here, knowing I would never be truly safer here nor anywhere else in the world, right now, I just felt so f*****g tired, too f*****g tired to care, and so… I fell back asleep, hoping to God that someday soon, all the pain in my body would finally end. And I would just leave this God-forsaken place, hoping to find something better. And right now, heaven didn’t seem like that bad of a place to be at.

******

I don’t know how long I stayed inside that room in the hospital. There were no windows, so I had no knowledge of time either. I couldn’t even get a glimpse of the sun down here, and I wondered if they had actually hidden me down in the basement, so humans wouldn’t be able to find out about me. This place sure as hell didn’t look like any pack doctor’s office I had ever seen with my own eyes. Lying down here for God knows how long, had given me a lot of time to think, and even more time for me to start resenting and blaming myself. Me lying here, it was all my own damn fault. Somewhere down the line, I had been too careless, too dumb, somehow, someone had caught up on my lies. Somehow, someone had caught me red-handed. And my own stupidity had led me here. Without a damn tongue.

No tongue…

What the hell was I supposed to do now?

Because deep down, I knew that those fuckers had taken away much more from me than just my tongue. They had taken away my voice, my freedom of speech, my ability to ever find a normal job, my ability to be social with others… God, if I would ever find my mate, I wouldn’t even get the chance to ever tell her that I love her… I would never be able to tell my own kids how to shift or fight or guide them through life. And that was even if a woman would ever want me. Because who would ever want me, a guy that wasn't even half a man, a guy who wasn't even a complete wolf... Because no, there was no chance in hell that I would ever be able to talk ever again. I had tried when I knew I was all alone. But other than some stupid noises and grunts leaving my mouth, I hadn’t been able to get one decent word out of my damn mouth. And I had tried over and over again until I had grown tired of it and I had just stopped. Stopped trying, and stopped hoping along with it. What was the point, even? And even after a while, I had stopped eating as well, ending up with me lying here with a damn feeding tube going up my nose. Even my own free will to die had been taken away from me up until this point… And it wasn’t as if my own wolf could help me die here as well… Because even that fucker had left me hanging high and dry as well…

The second that the executioner had grabbed the sharp ass blade and, with one swift movement, had clipped off my tongue and I was in so much pain, my own wolf had checked himself out of the building, and ever since then, I had not been able to communicate with him at all, not even once. Maybe he was too shocked over what had happened. I had no idea. The fact that I was healing at a normal wolf’s pace made me realize that he was still down there somewhere. Maybe he was just hiding, or still in shock over what the hell had happened to us. Whatever it was, he was gone now, and I had no idea if he would ever come back to me again.

Not a whole man

Not a whole wolf

I am f*****g worthless

I am nothing at all…

I had looked up, as the door opened and a younger man stepped inside. I had already seen him and had grown to know him as the Alpha of the pack that I was currently staying in. He had introduced himself as Alpha Archer. Lord knows why he was still protecting me, probably to get answers out of me, answers I was not willing to give. I was no fool here. I knew the second he would know the full truth, he would kick me out as soon as he could, and there would be no protection for me anywhere. I would be better off dead, than out there on my own. So, as long as I kept quiet and I kept the Alpha happy, I knew he wouldn’t let me walk out. I would be safe and protected by him and his pack, and right now, that was exactly what I needed, until I would figure out what the hell I was about to do with my life here. The Alpha had come by a few times in the last couple of days, asking me basic questions which I always left unanswered, but this time, I was surprised, seeing how the Alpha was followed by another man, the man I recognized as the one who had found me when I was basically… dying. And as soon as the man made eye contact with me, I saw it again, the look that I so hated to see when people looked at me. Sadness, pity.

I didn’t want to be pitied

I didn’t want others to pity me!

I wanted people to see me, not some fucker who had almost been killed by his old pack…

Because more than anything, the looks and stares of others just made me realize even more how I would never be normal, ever again. I would always be this poor guy who had lost his tongue and would never be able to speak again.

“I can see you are awake, good.” The Alpha nodded at me as he walked towards the bed.

“My name is Archer, I am the Alpha of the Grey pack. You are in the hospital under the care of my pack doctor. This is Derek, he is my Beta.” The Alpha spoke and I listened to him like a good boy. I wondered why the hell he was telling me the same info as he had told me already before. I didn’t have a concussion, so I remembered what had been said before, and I wondered if he was telling me this again just to make sure I knew that he was above me, stronger than me, that he was holding the strings in this big play. But the other man inside the room, the man who had found me and had just been introduced to me as the Beta, that was news to me. Even though looking at him, it only made sense, to be honest. The guy was a freaking beast. And now, I just felt mad at myself for fainting and not seeing what he must have done to the fuckers who had left me out there to die.

I would have loved to watch that show!

“Can you tell me where you came from?” The Alpha asked me, to which I froze, knowing I would not tell him. One, because it would end up with me one hundred percent being dead the second time around, and two, because this pack was protecting me, and a pack that would be mowed down by my old one, would not do me any good either. I needed this pack to keep their noses out of my old pack’s business. Like now…

“Why did those men hurt you so badly? Are you a criminal?” The Alpha asked me, to which I shook my head.

No

I am no criminal.

And no,

those men leaving me for dead in the woods didn’t hurt me.

The ones who did hurt me didn’t even bother to take out the trash…

They asked their slaves to do it for them.

“Did you hurt someone in your previous pack?” The Alpha asked me. His questions made sense. He was making sure that I wouldn’t be a threat to anyone living under his rule. So, I shook my head again.

No, I never even hurt a fly.

I looked

I listened

I reported back to the council

I am an enforcer.

But I never touched anyone without the council's orders.

At least... not anyone living in my pack...

It has been years since I have been a part of a pack...

“Why can’t you tell us where you come from?”

Because you would all end up dead if I did tell you…

And so, I lifted my thumb and ran it over my neck, letting the Alpha know what I was thinking. We would all be dead. Not just me.

“Can you at least tell us your name? It would be nice to know what name to call you.” And I sighed, wondering how the hell I would even do that. I HAD NO f*****g TONGUE! I couldn’t f*****g tell him, even if I wanted to.

“I believe in second chances here, and if you promise me you have never hurt another pack member, maybe I can promise you the safety of my pack in return, but I cannot make you a pack member when I don’t know what got you half-dead in the first place. Maybe what your previous Alpha did to you was within his rights to do.” The Alpha told me, and honestly, his answer made me mad.

NO! had had no f*****g right to do this to me!

But I sighed because I had heard the fact that the Alpha was contemplating keeping me around in his pack. And I knew that if I wanted to stay here, I needed to give him something. I needed to give him one tiny piece of the truth here.

“Do you want to write it down? I can get you a pen and some paper?” The Beta asked me, to which I sighed deeply, but nodded. And as soon as the Beta had given me a notebook and a pencil, I scrabbled down the four letters that spelled my name.

NICO

“Hello Nico, nice to finally meet you.” The Alpha smiled down at me, and I felt dead tired, just by writing down my own freaking name. I guess I still had a lot of healing left to do.

“Nico, can you please tell us what pack you come from?” The Alpha asked me again, to which I didn’t answer, and didn’t write down a thing.

No

I don’t

I don’t want to tell you where I come from.

Because we would all be dead if I did.

“Will they come back for you and finish the job if you told us?”

bingo.

ten points for you, Alpha.

“Is it your wish to go back to your previous pack?” The Alpha asked me.

NO!

No f*****g chance in hell!

“What was your position in your last pack?” The Alpha asked me, and I sighed, just wanting to sleep, and knowing that he wouldn’t leave me the hell alone until he knew. So, I picked the pencil back up and I wrote again.

FIGHTER

“Is that something you would want to do again if I decide that you can come and live here?” The Alpha asked me, and I thought about it. Did I really have a choice here? I mean, I couldn’t do any job that needed me to talk. Me fighting, it was something that I didn’t need a tongue for, nor a voice. And somehow, the realization of that gave me… hope… a purpose.

I can fight

I can grow stronger.

And one day, I can grow strong enough to take revenge on that fucker, Dimitri, for doing what he did to me…

And so, I nodded. Telling the Alpha that, in fact, I did want to fight. Right now, it seemed like the most logical thing to do, and the only one that made sense.

“Are you willing to show your loyalty towards me as your new Alpha?” He asked me, to which I nodded again.

“I hope you do understand, that once I give you asylum, you will have to prove yourself to me. I need to know that I can trust you 100% before I will make you an official pack member of mine.” The Alpha spoke, and I nodded, understanding, and agreeing to his terms. And I vowed to myself that I would never stop fighting, because it was the only thing left in me to do. Fight and survive. And I would make sure that by the end of the day, the Alpha wouldn’t even be able to let me go as a fighter, not even if he wanted to. And so, I wrote again.

I FIGHT FOR YOU.

“Good,” The Alpha nodded as if the deal had been made.

“But, in order to be able to fight, you need to gain your strength back and I need you to start eating again. I need you to find a new goal in life, something to live for. Something to fight for.” And I sighed deeply, knowing what it was.

I will never stop

I will never back down

Until that f*****g Alpha Dimitri is dead

And he will pay for what he did to me!