Unrequited Love

Chapter 20 :: A heartbreak letter

"baba how can you do this......suggesting something so -- bizarre, aap ye--" Rahat stopped his blabbering as he saw his father held his right hand up as a sign to stop him, he was shocked but visibly seething in anger.

"you have had your ways and i didn't say anything.......now you are going to listen to me" Amarendra Raichand sternly said in a low voice, Rahat took a step back even Shawkat at this age gets scared easily when it comes to their father low rumbling voice......

only 70% of times Insiyaa managed to get away with any kind of mess she created.....until now

"you wanted to get married......then marriage shall you have, but with Ruthba---- Ruthba Rahil"

"that's no-....

"I've instructed the Moulvi to replace Rushda's name with her, everything else will stay the same, as you instructed baba.....it's all better now" Shawkat muttered, with his face down, Rahat snapped his neck at him shocked

"aabhaaree rahen ki aapane jis masjid ke sadasya ko aamantrit kiya tha, unhone ab tak isake baare mein kuchh aisa vaisa nahin poochha hai, aur vahaan Aalok singh raathaud aur Gyaan singh, unake sevak ne sabhee ko baahar vyast rakhane mein hamare madad kee hai, jao aur unake saath baitho, maulavee neeche honge ab kisee bhee waqt" Amarendra Raichand continued cutting Rahat off rather rudely.....

[ Be thankful that few members of the mosque you invited has not asked about any of it's details until now and there was only Alok Singh Rathod and Gyan Singh, his butler has managed to keep everyone outside busy enough, go and sit with them down, Moulvi will be downstairs any minute now ]

but Rahat stood there not moving an inch as if his toes grew roots under them.....

he stubbornly shook his head...."no, no I'm not gonna do it, meri zindagi koi mazak ni hai, jo chaha wo karein"

[ my life is not a game to do whatever you want ]

"Rahat mind your attitude, yo--" Shawkat growled but Amarendra Raichand cut in again

"aapko ye sab karne se pahle is baare mein sochna chaahie tha"

[ you should have thought about that before going through all these......]

"gunna ho gaya mujhse......magar uski ye saja ni ho sakti, kabhi nahi"

[ fine, I have committed a sin...... but there can never be such a big punishment for it, never ] Rahat yelled turning on his heel

"wo ladki akeli hai, Rahat, usse sahare ki jarurat hai, anath hai wo, itna nahi kar sakte ? Usse nahi apna sakte jisse sach me sahare ke zarurat hain ? phir wo ladki jisne tumhare taraf kabhi murke bhi nahi dekha usse kaise apna rahe the, uski madad karne ke koshish kar rahe thi jise tumahri kadr hi nahi kabhi" Amarendra Raichand stated, making him swallow hard......

[ That girl is alone Rahat. She needs support, you know she is an orphan now, can't do even this much for her ? can you not at least be her guardian, who really needs one! Then how! the girl, who has never even looked at you once,....you are still thinking about her,... you were trying to help a woman who didn't give a s**t about you ]

"she never loved you the way you wanted, Rahat....." Amarendra Raichand softly said again with a soft sigh

"Pyaare Shadaab

kya aap theek hain, mujhe aasha hai ki aap theek hain,....kya aap jaanate hain ? jab se mainne aapko dekha hai tab se main aapse itna pyaar karta hoon ki main aadhee raat ko roti thi aur allaah se aapko paane ke dua karti thi.

kya sapne dekhana gunah hai ? aapne mere seer ko chhua aur mujhse vaada kiya ki aap mujhe kabhee nahin chhodoge!

to aapane aisa kyon kiya?

Aapne kaha tha ki aap mujhse shaadi karogee? hamare bachche honge, mujhe kitane sapne dikhae?

aapko pata hai ki main kuchh hee maheenon mein maa banne wali hoon aur aap mere bachche ke pita ho,...lekin aapne khud ko pita manne se bhi inakaar kar diya, kyon?

aapko pata hai, jab aapne kaha tha ki mere pet mein jo bachcha pal raha hai, wo kisee aur ka bachcha hai, to usee din main mar jaana chaahate thi.

theek hai, mainne mana ke maine galti ki,....

Par mere pyaar karna meri gunnah nahi thi, magar aapse kiya--ye meri gunnah thi, lekin isakee saza hamaara bachcha kyon bhugte.

aapko pata hai, aaj tak jis aadmee ko main apane abhibhaavak ke roop mein jaantee thi wo mere liye itna pareshaan hai, maine unhe kabhee is tarah nahin dekha tha, lekin aaj--- mujhe dekhna pada,......

jaisa aapne mujhse kaha tha, mainne abortion ke baare mein bhi socha tha, bahut baar koshish kee lekin himmat nahin juta payi,......khaasakar jab mainne pahlee baar uskee dil kee dhadkan sunee to samajh gaya ki main ye nahin chahti.

haan! main hi kaayar hoon.

lekin phir bhee,..... aap apana khyaal rakhen!

allaah haafiz,

ek bekaar ladakee"

[ "dearest"

Are you okay, I hope you are,....you know ? I have loved you so much ever i since i saw you that I used to cry in the middle of the night while praying to Allah to have you.

is it a sin to dream? You touched my head and promised me never to leave me!

So why did you do this ?

you said you'd marry me ? We will have children, how many dreams have you shown me ?

You know that I am going to be a mother in few months and you are the father of my child,.....but you refused to acknowledge yourself as the father, why ?

Do you know, when you said that the baby who is growing in my womb is someone else's child, that day I wanted to die.

fine, I have committed a sin,....

but my mistake wasn't to fall in love.....but that i fell for someone like you, but why should our child suffer the punishment for it.

You know, to this day the man I know as my guardian is so concerned for me, I've never seen him like that, but today, I had to,......i had thought about abortion as you asked me to, so many times I have tried but I did not have the courage, especially when I heard his heartbeat for the first time, I understood that I don't want to,

yes! I am coward that way.

but anyway,---- you take care of yourself!

Allah Hafeez,

A useless girl ]

this was written in Rushda's diary......Insiyaa was at the door, reading loud enough, infront of Rahat and Shawkat and Baba.

"this was yesterday's entry, Rahat, left open on vanity table" She said with a remorse

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