Hammer

4 - I'll kill him!

Hammer

Drink and plenty of puss.y, what more could a man ask for?

To be left alone, maybe?

This used to be my thing once upon a time. I’d drink and fuc.k with the best of them. I’m a biker, fuckin.g, and fighting is what we do. I had no commitments to anyone other than myself and the club.

So why the hell shouldn’t I have had some fun with beautiful women?

And I did until I met Cindy. She was everything a man could wish for. The most beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl I’d ever seen.

I’d known her a week before I made her my Old Lady.

Two months before, I asked her to be my wife.

Four months before I lost her.

I died with her that day.

Every part of me died.

As you know by now, Cindy was killed by a rival club. Her throat was slit live on camera. I watched the whole thing, unable to do a damn thing about it because I was so fuckin.g far away from her. I made those motherfucker.s pay for what they did to her, and I didn’t stop until every last one was dead.

Shepard had forbidden me from doing anything in revenge. Told me that it was club business and he’d deal with it. We’d deal with it together. We’d form a plan and make those cunts pay. I knew in my heart that he would, but I couldn’t wait to make the fucke.r who actually killed her pay.

That’s why I sought outside help from The Exorcist. Back then, I had no idea that The Exorcist was Nova, the Prez’s daughter.

I mean, come on, who on earth would have believed that little slip of a woman was a fuckin.g trained assassin?

But she was damn good at her job, and the cunt was dead within hours of me handing over the information she needed. Shepard knew I had something to do with it all. I thought he’d have me taken out back and beat the shi.t out of by the Brothers for my defiance. He didn’t. He understood why I did what I did. No doubt he would have done the same in my situation. But he did make sure we killed every remaining motherfucke.r in that MC. Every last one of the fucker.s. No one messes with this club and its brothers. No one.

I laid my Cindy to rest and swore to her soul that I’d never love again. In my heart and mind, no one would ever compare to her. Like I said before, until I started looking at Willow in a different light, I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel like this again.

How could I feel those things for her?

She was my friend, a damn good friend, my Cindy’s best friend.

But I felt myself falling for Willow. It scared me. I’d sworn myself off love. I never wanted another woman to suffer the way Cindy had because of me. That’s why I stayed away from Willow. I couldn’t bring myself to be alone with her. I knew all it would take was one look from her, and I’d make her mine. I couldn’t risk it. Especially as she’s getting married to Trace. I’m not the kind of man who goes after someone else’s girl. No matter how much I wanted the woman, I’d never stoop that low.

It still haunts me, you know, the fact I almost lost Willow in the worst way. It was Cindy all over again. It took us days to find her. We needed Nova’s help and expertise in order to do it. When we did, we stormed that damn place, guns firing, fists flying. Then I saw that cunt Crack’s knife against Willow’s throat, and I had to act fast.

I pulled the trigger. I thought I’d saved her, but I was wrong. That damn knife cut across her throat, and I knew right then that I’d lost another woman I loved in exactly the same way as the last. I grabbed her throat and held on until the moment the doctor forced me away from her.

I thanked the almighty that day.

Why?

Because through some miracle, he saved Willow. The second the Doc came out of that room and told us she was alive, I sank to my haunches against the wall with my head in my hands. Something took over me that day: a determination I’d never known. Someone was looking out for all of us that day.

Seeing Willow right now, running past me in tears, something tears inside of me. Everyone’s too engrossed in the damn party to even notice her. But from my quiet, dark corner, I see her.

Something inside me tells me to go to Willow; she needs me. No matter how I feel, I cannot ignore her when she’s upset. I’m not that much of a jerk.

I follow Willow to the balcony. I can hear her crying before I’ve even stepped outside. She’s slumped forward on her knees, her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she cries.

What the hell has happened to upset her like this?

I crouch down beside her, trying hard not to notice how firm her ass looks in those tight jeans.

“Am I hideous, Hammer?”

I smile inwardly at the fact that she knew it was me without looking up.

“Why on this earth would you ask me something like that?”

“Everyone avoids me.” She says almost too quietly. “You avoid me.”

“Is that what this is about?”

She shakes her head, looking up and out toward the trees beyond the clubhouse grounds. She brushes a strand of her dark hair away from her face and behind her ear.

“Then what is it about, sweetheart?”

“Do you like Trace, Hammer?”

I should lie and say the man she’s marrying is great. But I can’t, not when I can’t stand the prick. I think Willow could do better than a man who clearly has a wandering eye. Lying to Willow is what most would do, but I respect her too much to do such a thing.

“I think he’s an asshole. But what I think about him doesn’t count. Shepard is thinking of patching him soon.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Will, has Trace done something to hurt you?”

She shakes her head erratically before clasping her hands over her face and crying into them.

“Tell me the truth right now,” I say as I clasp the back of her neck. Anger boils inside my gut. If he's hurt her, I’ll kill him. Rules or no damn rules!

“Oh, Hammer,” Willow turns in my arms, her face toward my neck. I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes. It shouldn’t feel this right to hold her. But it feels like fuckin’ home to me. I can feel her breath on my neck, and it makes me shudder. “He’s in there fuckin.g one of those skank whore.s.”

“He’s what?!” I practically bellow.

Is that cunt really this stupid?!

“I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Why would Trace do that to me, Hammer? Did he think so little of me because I couldn’t sleep with him after what happened? I didn’t mean...”

“Don’t you dare,” I take her face in my hands. Big fuckin.g mistake. Ah damn, there’s that look I’ve been trying to avoid for the past year. The look that taps at my cold heart. “Don’t you ever blame yourself for what he’s done, Willow.”

“I don’t. I just feel like...” She shakes her head and sighs as I let go of her face. “I feel like I could have tried harder.”

I’m gonna kill that fucke.r. I’m gonna fuckin.g kill him in the worst way... If Shepard doesn’t first.

Willow looks up to the sky with her eyes closed and breathes deeply. Breathing the night air into her lungs. And I can’t help but notice the jagged scar across her neck. The scar she tries so hard to hide with fashionable scarfs. But with her head tipped back like this, it’s peaking over the top.

“I’m sorry,” She says with a smile before pulling herself to her feet. “Didn’t mean to bawl all over you.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I drag myself to my feet. “I’ll deal with Trace, Will. He won’t get away with what he’s done.”

“I don’t want you to be hard on him. It’s not his fault the way he is.”

“Why are you always sticking up for him, Will? Even after he’s done this to you.”

“Because I know him better than anyone else does. Deep inside of him is a good man, Hammer.” I swear this girl has a screw loose! “We’ve been over for a long time, Hammer. I don’t know why we stayed together so long when we both knew it wouldn’t work. We’re better as friends. Yes, I’m angry that he cheated on me tonight when all he had to do was finish things before we came here. I would have been okay. You know?”

“I know that, sweetheart.”

That stupid cunt is not getting away with this. I don’t give a damn what Willow says. I don’t care if they’re no longer in love... Wait, they’re no longer in love?

Damn.

“Can you answer me something honestly?” I nod. “Is he good at what he does for this club? Does Trace deserve his full patch?”

I fold my arms across my chest. I can’t lie to the girl and say Trace hasn’t earned his bottom rocker because the man is dedicated to this club, if nothing else. As much as I want to break his neck, I can’t lie.

“Yes. On both accounts.”

“That’s good. Can we keep this between us? I don’t think it would be right for Shepard to know. He’d probably kill Trace for cheating on me, but I don’t want that. Like I said, he’s not a bad man, just misguided.” She thinks too much of people. Too much of Trace. The cunt has no idea what he’s just lost.

“Then what do you want, baby?”

“To go home and sink into a hot bath. I want to wash this whole day off my body. Trace and I are done, and I need to figure out what to do next.” She smiles slightly. “Thanks for talking to me, I missed us talking.”

I open my mouth to say something, but she’s gone before I can even breathe.