Chapter 2 - Autumn
1150 Words
I lay on the sofa, glaring at the vibrating phone within my hand like it was an unexploded bomb. I could so easily ignore it. That is what most people would do when they wanted to avoid someone. But, I knew my mother, and she would continue to call until she wore me down and I answered. That was what my mother was like. Too much. Overbearing.
“Hello.” I greeted her reluctantly.
“Oh, Autumn, eventually!” she spoke in that usual condescending tone. “Anyone would think you didn’t want to talk to me.”
I held back a small chuckle. Oh, little did she know…
“Sorry Mum, I was busy and didn’t hear my phone initially.” I lied to quickly smooth things over. My mother was hard enough work without irritating her further. “Is everything okay? I wasn’t expecting your call.”
My Mum was a creature of habit, and she called like clockwork each Sunday evening at around 7pm. So, this call was most definitely outside of her usual routine, so I was a little curious why she felt the need to call, while a part of me was concerned that maybe something was in fact be wrong.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Autumn, anyone would think a mother couldn’t call her daughter when she wanted!” and once again I was back to square one, wishing I hadn’t bothered taking her call. Obviously, it was not of major importance if my Mum was in her usual habit of belittling me.
I sighed, but didn’t say a word, not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t get a chance, Mum was on a roll. “You know Elodie doesn’t complain when I call. We speak multiple times a week.”
And here were the frequent comparisons to my older sister, Elodie. A little over a year older than me, my sister and I were very much alike, but the way my Mum spoke about her, we could not be more different. In m Mum's mind, my sister was perfect. The ideal child, while I was a great disappointment. Something it had not taken long for me to realize growing up. And I can’t say it surprises me that the two of them speak many times a week.
“Well, as it so happens, Elodie and I have just been chatting, and we were discussing the holidays…” My Mum began and the moment she mentioned the holiday season it made my heart fall. I had tried so hard not to think of the pending celebrations, but now my Mum was forcing me to face up to the thought... and I feared there were not many positive things to consider. This would be the first holiday season I would be on my own.
I had been with Max for the last four years, leaving home five years ago, to begin work over here, and only returning home those holidays. Every other holiday season I had avoided being with my family, because the thought of being with them was… well, like, hell on earth. Everything was so over the top. My mother trying to outdo everyone and everything. And it was not enjoyable in the slightest.
“Oh, right?” I said quietly, hoping she was not about to do her usual of inviting me and Max. Every year since we had been together, an invitation was offered, and each year I developed a more and more complex reason as to why we could not attend. But, my family did not know of my failed marriage. They did not know the man I married being far from the perfect man they had him pipped to be. Oh, in their eyes, he was truly amazing. Ha! The only thing it turned out he was amazing at, was finding other woman to sleep with.
“Yes, and we were saying just how long it is since you came and spent your holidays with us. That is quite selfish, Autumn, you know?” her voice was critical as ever. My Mum had such a way of finding ways to insult me even in the most simplest of conversations. “You know being married does not mean your family ceases to exist. Elodie is married, and she still involves us all the time. Splitting her time between us and Taylor’s family.”
I rolled my eyes once again at the regular comparisons between me and my perfect sister. Not that they surprised me in the slightest. They had been so frequent growing up, I could have written a damn book of them! “Well, Elodie does literally live down the street Mum.” I could not help but point out.
I heard a disgusted snort. “Irrelevant, young lady. That is simply because she would never leave her family, unlike you. She is not selfish. She knows the importance of family. Putting us before her career.”
I had to bite my tongue to stop myself passing comments on my sister and her career, because there was not one. Elodie had attempted many career paths, investment, included, all of which had been a flop, and she greatly relied on the funding of either our parents or her husband. But, still, in the eyes of our Mum, she was doing amazing and trying her best. Who was I to argue?
“Is there a point to this Mum?” I asked exasperatedly, already having had enough of this conversation, considering the previous discussion with Max.
“Autumn, do not be so rude. We thought it would be nice for you to come home for the holidays. Have a proper family celebration, like the good old days. Friends here too… “ Mum started, and just as I was about to point-blank refuse, she added. “Your Nanna is not as well as she used to be, and you know you would never forgive yourself if you didn’t come and this turned out to be her last Christmas.”
I felt my heart tighten with guilt. Yes, she was right. “Okay, but it will just be me.” I said, hoping that no questions were asked. “Max is away, with work for the holidays this year.” I lied, already my stomach filling with dread at what I was agreeing to.
“Oh, how exciting! He must be doing well for himself. Wonderful. I will let everyone know you have lowered yourself to our company while your husband is away because you couldn’t bear to be alone for the holidays.” Mum said with a chuckle, but my stomach turned at her words. Little did she know I would rather do nothing more than be alone over the holidays. Anything would be better than going to be with a family that made me feel like they did…
- Writer
