The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Chapter 3 - Autumn

The past few weeks have been nothing if not chaotic. Trying hard to catch up with work, regardless of the fact my mind had been on anything but the task in hand. Then there was the small but persistent issue of my looming divorce. Max was becoming increasingly irritating with his demands. Seeming to want more and more from me, and I could not help but wonder if he was being pressured by his new sidepiece.

As my attorney dealt with the papers, it became apparent there had been a lot more things being hidden in my marriage than his infidelity. The multiple debts in our names… our holiday home on the coast had been remortgaged… and the savings account we shared had been emptied. As more and more became revealed, I could only wonder how I had been so clueless about everything. In all, Max had ruined me financially, and I had been oblivious. The sale of our marital home would likely pay off much of the debts, but I would be left with very little.

I cannot help but look now and think that my marriage had been nothing but a big mistake. Max was one lie after another. All hidden behind a mask of charm and good looks, and I felt like such a fool for falling for it. But, now I was to pay the price. All the things I had worked so hard to have I was losing. The house was being placed on the market. The holiday home was nothing but a memory. Savings for possible children and the travels I had imagined were nothing but pathetic once upon a time dreams...

“Autumn, sweetheart, get yourself home, it is the holidays now. You can work remotely if needed.” Alex, one of the senior editors said from the doorway, as he watched me typing frantically in a bid to finish my more recent story for the local paper.

I looked up at the man, around the same age as my father, his hair graying now, and he was smiling at me with a warm smile. “You know you will have to go home eventually.” He grinned.

I smiled back. I had sat in the staff room with him multiple times, telling him of my dilemma about returning home when he asked me about my plans for the holidays. This was the man that had offered me a job when nobody else would. A daughter of a rich family... recently graduated... yet he gave me a chance, and I would forever be grateful... a chance to escape. He had been like a father figure to me ever since I arrived, and he told me many times that I reminded him of his daughter when we chatted over coffee.

And the thing was, he was right, this job did allow me to work remotely, but right now I couldn’t bear to be at home.

“I know.” I nodded, finishing off what I was doing, saving the work, and slamming my laptop lid down with a roll of my eyes. “I think I would rather work all of the holidays. You sure you don’t need me?”

“No.” he wagged his finger at me, his brows raised at me. I knew all the work would be sent through to my emails during the holiday season, allowing all staff to spend this time with their families. The thing was, I did not want to spend time with my family…

I had spent well over a week trying to think of ways I could get out of going to my parent's house, but nothing came... and the guilt-filled words of my Mum kept echoing through my mind, which made me honor the invitation. I had gone through my clothes so many times to decide what would be considered acceptable to my Mum's ever critical eye, well, her and my sister... and then decided to go shopping, spending money I probably didn't have, to find some clothes that they may in fact approve of. As well as carefully considering gifts for each of them, which I knew, no matter how carefully considered, would be criticized.

After all the careful preparation, and the dread and lack of sleep knowing what was to come, my car had been all loaded up, everything ready to go, so that as soon as I was done with work I could head over to my parent’s large home out in the country. A large country estate, with beautiful gardens. Every single room would be decorated luxuriously with far too many decorations, in my mum's bid to compensate for the need to be happy.

And, there would no doubt be a house full of friends and family too, like every other holiday. Something I can’t say I was looking forward to – far too many people to ask questions. Far too many people to judge.

“Have a wonderful Christmas dear.” Alex smiled as I picked up my bag, and grabbed my coat off the coat rack by the door. I smiled back at him in response. He would be headed home to his wife and their children, and their new grandchildren. A wonderful Christmas was guaranteed for him.

He meant well in bidding a wonderful Christmas. But, I highly doubt that would even be possible where I was going, but I was going all the same. What is that thing they say… It’s the most wonderful time of the year? Ha… all I can say is, whoever came up with that, I don’t think they ever spent a day with my family…

The drive to my family’s home was as non-eventful as they could come. Three hours of listening to the radio, Christmas songs blaring incessantly every other tune, no matter how many radio stations I flicked my way through. I had done so well so far to avoid the many cheerful songs that accompanied this time of year (and the far too many weeks earlier than this time of year too!) not wanting to be reminded that this apparent perfect season was upon us. But, a long journey, needing music, when my playlist was down, had left little choice but the radio, and the obligatory Christmas songs that came with it…

Now, along with the obligatory Christmas songs, the downside of driving home for the holidays at this time of the year, meant the roads were busy, and combined with the sheer irritation from the cheerfulness of the fuckers torturing me with the Christmas tune after Christmas tune on the radio, meant I was also gradually succumbing to my road rage. Every fool in the country was on the road today, it would seem, just to annoy the f**k out of me! And annoying me they were...

I was going to be in the most sunniest of moods by the time I arrived home, and that was before the judgmental eyes of my mother had even glanced upon me! Or before her sharp and catty comments had begun!

As I continued the long drive, some dickhead in a truck cut me up, causing me to slam on my breaks and crash my hand into the horn. “f**k off!” I yelled at him, despite the fact he would not have heard me. In fact, he seemed to continue on his merry way, with not a f*****g care in the world! “Open your f*****g eyes next time you d**k!” I motioned at him, with a far from ladylike hand gesture too.

I saw a smirk from the guy in the car alongside me, so, in my ever so cheerful mood, I had decided he could f**k off too, and gave him the finger too, as I pulled away. Yeah, I was in the most happiest of holiday moods! And there was only another hour or so to drive…

I drove in almost a trance, only ranting and raving at a few (or maybe twenty or so) others over the following two hours it took me to get home. I hate driving in holiday traffic… and I officially hate holiday songs! But as I pulled up to the long driveway to my parents’ home I found my stomach churning with something that wasn’t displeasure this time. It was nerves.

It had been a long time since I had been home. Avoiding returning home as much as I physically could. In fact, the whole place bringing back too many uncomfortable memories for me. And, it had been a long time since I had seen any of them... them, being my family. The ones that I was meant to love, and be close to... ha! I think something had gone wrong in that evaluation of a family when it came to mine. But, I had managed for many years to get by on simply phone calls alone… I was really beginning to regret my decision now. Coming back seemed like the worst possible idea in the world...

I pulled up to the parking spaces outside the house, and instantly the front door flung open, my parents came striding out, my sister, Elodie and her ever so perfect husband, Taylor, soon followed, with Mum and Dad’s dog Dotty at their feet. The sight of them all made me feel sick to the stomach. Because they hadn’t changed in all the time since I saw them last, and I knew that nothing would have changed either. I still would not be good for them…

I opened the door to my car, stepping out. Before I even had a chance to make a move towards them, my Mum spoke. “Oh, Autumn, finally! Do you realize that we have been waiting all day for you? I thought you may have made the effort to get here sooner.”

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes, or at least so obviously that she would notice, and faked a smile. I knew there would be plenty of those in the coming days… false smiles. Pretending to be happy. Pretending to enjoy the celebrations. Acting like I was the perfect daughter once again, in order not to disappoint my parents. I mean, heaven forbid I disappoint them...

“Hi. Sorry, I had to finish work. And then the traffic was horrendous getting over here.”

“You could so easily have flown, you know? We looked at flights. It would have been so much less hassle.” My Dad decided to put in his two-pennies-worth with a disgusted look in my direction. “And is your job not one you can do from anywhere?”

I sighed. Yes, I had looked at flights too, and decided it was an unnecessary cost when I did not know what I was likely to be left with after my divorce and being forced to sell my house... not that my parents knew that; and I planned for it to stay that way. No matter what I said, there was not going to be a way of winning this conversation, I feared. “Well, I am here now, is that not what matters?”

“Only because Mum all but forced you. We all know you would rather be anywhere but here, Autumn.” Elodie said smugly, and I heard Taylor chuckle from alongside her. Wonderful, they were all at it now. I swear I was tempted to turn around and just climb back into my car and head straight back home. A holiday season alone was bound to be better than having to deal with being forced to spend a holiday season with them and their constant criticism…

I moved toward my car, and found Taylor walking alongside me. “I will give you a hand. Wouldn’t want you straining yourself with all the bags I imagine you have bought.” He said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. All the bags? I was here for just over a week. Did he think I was moving back home?

I watched his eyes as they moved over my car. “This is last season's isn’t it?” he asked, criticism heavy in his tone, like the nerve of having an older model car was just too much to bear. “You not got around to upgrading or something, Autumn?” he asked, giving me a cold stare as he opened the trunk.

I could not believe his nerve. Yes, in the past, I would upgrade my car each year for the newest model, but, the newer model for this had only been released a matter of months ago, and since then, I had other priorities… like my marriage falling apart and the s**t that had brought with it.

I pulled my case from the trunk with a loaded glance in Taylor’s direction. “I have been busy. Work, and things like that. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” I sniped. Not caring for a moment if he was offended. Though I didn’t think he would be. Taylor was an heir to his father’s business, and he “worked” for them. I use the word “worked” lightly, because from what I gather from Elodie he did little but sit around the office allowing others to do the work for him, while he lived on their profits. As did she. Making Mummy and Daddy proud.

“Is this all you brought?” he asked incredulously, looking at the one case and small holdall I had in the trunk. What on earth was he expecting?!

“Yes.”

“Oh, Elodie takes so much more when we go away, even for a short weekend break. I guess money does buy you class.” He said with a chuckle, moving back towards his wife, leaving me with my case and bag to manage on my own after all. Money bought you class, did it? Well, it sure as hell did not buy you f*****g manners! d**k…

As I moved up the steps with my things, I felt the heavy gaze of my mother upon me. “Is that all you brought? You do realize we are hosting friends too, Autumn? I have events planned for each day of your visit. I do not expect you to be shaming us while here.”

I sighed. “I have outfits for each evening, do not worry.” I informed her heavily. I knew this was a mistake. Coming here expecting things would be okay. Such a big mistake. Nothing had changed, and nothing ever would.

“Oh, if needs be, Mummy, she can borrow some of my old clothes. I have so many now that I don’t wear, with Taylor treating me. Assuming she would fit in them. I am sure Autumn looks like she put a bit of weight on, don’t you?” Elodie said with a critical glance when we walked into the large open hallway of the house where the sweeping staircase began.

I rolled my eyes. Gained weight my ass. b***h. I had lost weight, and she knew it. But, if that is what she felt she needed to do to make herself feel better, then that was fine. I was sure the older she got, the more like my mother my sister became. Lord help her husband! Though he was as much of a fuckwit as her anyway, so maybe he was welcome to her. Both as bad as each other.

“I will head to my room, I think. I want to freshen up and relax…” I began.

“Oh, about that.” Dad interrupted, and awkward smile upon his face, suddenly making me feel uneasy. “Your bedroom… erm, well, it isn’t your bedroom anymore. I decided to renovate it, so I could use it as a games room. We boxed up the few things that were left in there, and put them into storage. I mean, it isn’t like you visit often, is it? So, for your stay you will be in guest room 3 on the second floor.”

I felt an unexpected ache within my chest. Yet, I don’t know why I was surprised. They had turned my bedroom… the room I had had since being a little girl, into a f*****g games room. Of all the rooms they have in the house, and they chose mine. Tossing all my remaining things into storage. Wow. I caught a glimpse of a smirk upon my sister's face, as she took Taylor's hand.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” she said, a hint of smugness in her tone, as she began walking up the beautifully decorative staircase toward her bedroom. Oh, so they had kept her room perfectly for her… of course they had…

I chewed my lip, unsure if I was upset… angry… in all honesty, I wasn't sure what I felt. Maybe it was pathetic, it was just a room after all. But it was my childhood. “Oh, grow up, Autumn. It is just a bedroom. Don’t stand there trying to make yourself cry over it in a bid to make us feel guilt. Like your father said, it isn’t like you ever came home, is it?” Mum said coldly, a look of disgust in her eyes as they settled upon me.

I looked at her in shock, and slowly shook my head. Of course, I had managed to disappoint my mother in the first ten minutes of being in her company. I was doing well. Taking my things without another word, I made my way to guest room 3; apparently that is all I am now in my parents' home, a guest…