Chapter 15 - Autumn
1070 Words
I had done it again. I had said far too much to a man I barely knew. Yes, he may try to remind me we have known each other since we were children, but did that really mean we knew one another? Did he know my favorite color? Or my coffee order when at the coffee store? No, he didn’t. Just like he did not know so much about the things that had gone on in my life throughout my adult life. Therefore, in my mind, that meant he barely knew me at all.
We were merely acquaintances, and nothing more. Childhood friends that had drifted apart. It happened. But, naively, I had found myself blurting out half of my sorry mess to him, and now the shocked look upon his face spoke a thousand words. I was destined to have my parents discover this mess if I continued on this path. And that was the last thing I wanted or needed...
“Look, I should not have told you all of that, can we just forget about it?” I tried, with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, okay? And please can you not say anything to anyone, because I can really do without the hassle of my family knowing.”
Theo tilted his head slightly, his untamed hair falling a little as he did, as he watched me with curiosity. “Does anybody know about all of this?” his eyes moved across my face as if he tried reading my thoughts, his face warm, and full of concern. While I appreciated that he appeared to care, I could not risk him knowing too much.
I shrugged. “A couple of friends… maybe…” I mumbled, not wanting to go into this with him. No, I have not shared this with many people, but why would I want to? It was a major failure on my part, and the more people that knew, the more chance there was of the news getting back to my parents. I would much rather have a quieter life… and what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them… nor would it bring me hassle…
“Then, surely talking about it might help?” he suggested.
I found myself rolling my eyes. I am pretty sure most guys would not be willingly encouraging a woman to talk about her problems. “How is it going to help? It won’t change things, so can we leave it?”
Theo sighed. “You are worried they are going to be disappointed?” he asked, clearly ignoring my plea to leave this conversation. "Or that they will make you feel bad for what has happened?"
Hmmm... that was an understatement...
“Well, you have seen how wonderfully proud they are of me, so imagine how much prouder they would be to hear that their incredibly wonderful daughter had f****d up her marriage and was losing her house too. That would bring it to a whole other level of proudness, I am sure. I already struggle with the sense of proudness now, so I don't know if I could cope with making them more proud.” I said, unable to hold the sarcasm slipping out. My family hated my sarcasm, but Theo took me by surprise and laughed, seeming to find what I had said amusing.
Nodding his head, a small smile upon his face. “Touché.” He reached out and squeezed my hand. “But, for the record, sweetheart, that isn’t your fault. Separations and divorces happen all the time. And the house is more his choice, not yours, from what I understand. Your family would have to understand that some marriages can’t be fixed.”
“Not when he can’t keep it in his pants.” I said coldly, without thinking, earning a wide-eyed look from Theo. I dropped my head into my hands, heat spreading over my cheeks with embarrassment at my bluntness. I needed to learn to filter myself. I had already said far too much!
“Well, he was clearly a fool.”
“Not according to him. All me, apparently. Not being enough for him. He needed more.” I mumbled, unsure why I was telling him all of this, but the words seemed to slip from my mouth without even thinking.
“Then you did the right thing, walking away, Autumn. It sounds to me like he never deserved you.”
“I doubt they would see it that way.” I looked up at Theo, and he smiled, sliding a little closer along the edge of the bed to hook his arm around my shoulders. No doubt intended in a comforting way, but it felt strangely intimate...
“What do they know? They all seem as miserable as sin. And I don’t think they would know a decent person if it hit them in the face.”
“Would a decent person hit them in the face?” I joked, and Theo grinned down at me, his whole face lighting up as he did. Damn, he was handsome... even more so when he smiled...
“I think with your family, even the most decent of person would be pushed to the limits.”
I found myself laughing. He seemed so easy going and definitely not the company I had expected at my family holiday celebration. But, he was certainly making it more tolerable.
“So, what has the Evil Queen got planned for the holiday activities this year?” Theo asked, and I smiled again, that name fit my Mum pretty well.
“Oh the usual, ice-skating, cookie decorating, lots of drinking, food, parties… being bored out of our brain…” I told him, in truth I wasn’t sure, as I had not asked for the details of her plans when I came home. Not caring, because I knew I had not wanted to be there, and knew whatever she had planned it would be too much, as it was every other year I had attended…
“So long as you are there, I think it will be bearable.” He nudged my head gently with his, and I became intensely aware of how close we were. Yet, I oddly did not feel uncomfortable with his arm around me… in fact, it felt quite nice… and the pounding of my heart told me it might even excite me a little…
- Writer
