Trinity Broken

Chapter 3-2

Josh knew frantically hitting the refresh button would not make the message arrive in his inbox any faster, but he couldn’t help himself. He fell into a routine of checking his email, checking out the news, skimming over his favorite blog, and then checking his email again. The whole process took approximately three and a half minutes.

The Iocor Board of Directors Research and Development Division had promised him he would receive an answer that afternoon. If they liked his article, The History and Development of Shifter Jane Doe from Adolescence to Maturity: A Study of Mental, Emotional, and Physical Changes Within a Closed Shifter Community, they would offer him more funding. More than that, they would offer him a permanent position in the research division. His future could be made or broken with this report. He would be sitting on top of the phone, but they had specified they would respond by email. Both times he had called to ask.

It took him over six months to write the damned thing. If they didn’t want it, if they didn’t like it, if it wasn’t good enough, he wasn’t sure he had it inside him to try again. He didn’t know if he had anything else to offer.

Josh did know he needed to find a way to take his mind off of it, but what could distract him from the fact his future was hanging in the balance?

A soft knock seemed to be the answer to his question. With a smile of relief, he closed his laptop and stood to open the bedroom door. Sara would understand his current anxiety—and being around her usually made him feel better.

“I am so happy you’re home,” he greeted.

She still wore the clothes she’d left for work in, the skirt swirling around her long legs, the soft button-down blouse doing nothing to hide the plush curve of her breasts. Dark eyes danced, and her darker hair hung in waves about her shoulders, but the smile on her full lips faded as their gazes met.

“What’s wrong?” She lifted a hand to his brow, testing his temperature like he was one of her students. “You haven’t locked yourself in here all day, have you?”

“All day.” When Cam was away, it messed up both of their rhythms. “Every time I left my computer, I thought I probably missed the email. So I’ve just been waiting and driving myself insane.” He wrapped his arm around her waist. “Literally insane. How was work?”

She relaxed against his lean body, looping her arms over his shoulders. “The usual. Oh, but I caught Starr trying to talk Meg into changing into a fish again. And Jared told Chris he really, really, really doesn’t like Ali, which means of course he does, only she likes Mason because he’s got smaller ears apparently.” She smiled. “The exciting lives of eight-year-olds. Aren’t you glad you have your job and not mine?”

“Right now, I think I’d rather deal with the eight-year-olds.” Josh sighed. He kissed the top of her head, breathing deeply to catch the scent of her hair. “Want to help distract me from my torment?”

As he rubbed the small of her back, Sara nuzzled against his chest. “Always. Are you thinking food distraction? You probably didn’t eat at all today, did you? Or something a little more active?” Her mouth curled into a playful smile. “Or we can find a way to combine the two. That’s always fun. And Cam isn’t here to tell us we’re being childish.”

His stomach growled at the mention of food, and his c**k stirred at her last suggestion. “Have I told you lately that I love the way you think?”

Laughing, Sara twined her fingers with his and pulled him to the doorway. “You need to tell me more. Compliments encourage me to stretch my imagination.”

“Really?” he asked, following her into the hall. “In that case, let me also add that not only are you brilliant, you’re captivating, fascinating and gorgeous.”

“Now that’s just sucking up. That’s supposed to be my job.”

Josh grinned. “It’s only sucking up if it’s not true, and I assure you, every word is the God’s honest truth.” He tilted his head, watching her hips sway as she walked. “Did I mention you have an excellent ass?”

Though she rolled her eyes, her light laughter drifted back to him, warming him through. He wondered if he’d ever get accustomed to hearing it. It was still fresh and new, and the twinkle in her eye was enough to make his stomach flip-flop.

When they reached the kitchen, Sara let go of his hand and headed straight for the refrigerator. “What’re you in the mood for?” she asked, holding the door open to inspect its contents.

“Besides the obvious?” He settled in his typical spot, the barstool by the counter. She grinned at him over her shoulder in response. “Is there any of Cam’s chili left?”

“Nope. I took it for lunch today.” She pushed aside the half-empty milk carton. “We’ve got squat. Unless you want a blue cheese and tuna omelet.” She opened the egg container. “Made with one egg.”

Josh grimaced. “Cam will be very disappointed if we can’t even feed ourselves while he’s away.”

“Cam should’ve left more leftovers for us before disappearing then.” Closing the fridge again, Sara opened the narrow drawer next to it, pulling out an array of brightly colored menus. “We need to celebrate anyway, don’t we? If you’re waiting on your email, that means all your work is done.”

His work was only finished if the email contained good news. But he didn’t want to think of the possible ramifications of bad news, so he nodded. “It’s unfortunate Cam can’t be here to celebrate with us, but…” He slid off the stool and wrapped his arms around her. “But I think we can make do.”

Sara folded her arm over his, flipping through the menus with her free hand. “Of course, we can. Plus, when Cam gets home, we get to celebrate again. Tell me that’s not a brilliant idea.”

“It’s a brilliant idea,” Josh agreed obediently. He kissed the side of her neck, pressing his mouth against her hot skin. He was almost overwhelmed by how good she felt against his body, overwhelmed by the way he could hold her and kiss her on a whim. But on the heels of that thought came a cold sliver of reality. One he couldn’t bear to acknowledge.

Sara sighed at the first touch of his mouth, tilting her head to offer him better access to the sleek line of her neck. Forgetting the menus, she reached around to run her hand along his hip, pulling him closer. “You’re going to stay in my room tonight, right?”

He didn’t know if he imagined the soft longing in her voice or not, but believing it was there prompted him to hold her even closer. “Of course. You know I don’t like leaving you.”

Twisting in his arms, she searched his face with such hope that even he couldn’t deny it. “Then why go at all? You know you can move in with me and Cam whenever you want.”

Josh didn’t know how to explain the final barrier standing between them. Despite everything they had shared up to that point, it seemed too intimate, like taking the last step into their world. Moving in had been hard enough. This wasn’t a step he knew how to take, or even if he should. Even if a part of him yearned to do just that.

“I want to. I’ve been wondering…what’s going to happen now that I’m finished with my article.”

“Are you planning on leaving?” Her voice was hushed, and her eyes burned into his. His chest tightened at what he thought he saw there, but just as quickly, he dismissed it.

“This was only supposed to be temporary. I have a job, I have more research, friends I left behind, a life I put on hold.” He watched her deflate as he spoke, and his heart twisted painfully. “But I don’t think of any of those things with any sort of desire. It all seems pretty insignificant now.” He held her closer. “So I was planning to leave, but I’m going to put those plans on hold.”

Sara buried her face in his neck. Her cheeks were hot against his neck, her mouth moving over the skin. “It wouldn’t be the same around here without you,” she breathed. “Our lives are so much better with you in them.”

The feeling was more than mutual. This all was so impossible, but real. Perfect. “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I left,” he admitted. “It was lonely here today.” He reached around her, grabbing the familiar orange menu from Jose’s. “Can we get something from here?”

She let go enough to see which menu he’d picked up. “It’ll take a while for it to get here. That new driver is snail slow.” Without looking back, she dropped her hand to toy at his waist, slipping beneath his shirt to delicately stroke his spine. “We’ll have to find ways to entertain ourselves until he gets here.”

He caught her chin, coaxing her to face him again. Her eyes were bright, her hair warm and soft where he slid his hand to her nape. Tilting his head, Josh teased her mouth with his tongue, pulling back each time she attempted to deepen the caress. The line of his c**k ground against her p***y, and somewhere in her throat, whimpers she couldn’t contain echoed in his ears. Only then did he part his lips, capturing hers in a long and hungry kiss.

Josh broke away first and flashed a grin. “One more like that, and I’m going to forget about eating.”

“Eating? What’s that?” Her tongue dragged along his jaw, stopping to nibble at random spots as she moved down to the hollow of his throat. “So am I only good for distracting you from meals and keeping you from getting lonely?”

“Not just that. You did proofread my article, after all.” He laughed when she nipped playfully at his neck. He wanted to tell her what she really did mean to him, but he wasn’t sure how. Instead, he gripped her hips and lifted her onto the counter, freeing his hands so he could begin removing her shirt. He released the top two buttons, exposing the lacy top of her bra and the soft curve of her breasts. “But keeping me from getting lonely is worth a lot, you know. I was very lonely before I met you two.”

“I hate thinking of you like that.” Her nimble fingers traced his belt, freeing it without having to look away from him. “I can’t imagine why someone like you would ever be lonely at all. I love spending time with you.”

“Maybe I was just waiting to find you,” Josh said solemnly.

Her hands paused on the buttons of his jeans. “Then I’m glad you did. This past year has been one of the best of my life.”

Josh concentrated on her shirt, avoiding making eye contact. “Why? It’s not as though you were really missing anything from your life before you met me.” His blood thundered in his ears, and the query slipped out beyond his control. “Were you?”

“I didn’t think I was. And I know Cam was happy with how things were. But it’s like thinking your favorite food is apple pie your whole life, and then somebody gives you a slice of something you’ve never had before, like cherry, and you realize it’s absolutely amazing, too.” She ducked her head to force him to look at her. “You know this is more than just s*x, right?”

“I know I want it to be more.” He braced himself against the counter, his hands on either side of her hips, locking her against him. “Honestly, I didn’t know if I should hope my article gets accepted or not. I was worried that if it did, it would mean all of this would be over.”

Her fingers cupped his face, pulling him down to meet her lips in a tender kiss. “It’s only over if you leave,” Sara murmured against his mouth. “And Cam and I don’t want that. There would be this huge hole in our lives where our best friend used to be.”

A loud chime came from his bedroom, and he knew it was his email notification. He also knew it could only be one thing. But he had no desire to leave her, and instead of hurrying to his laptop, he kissed her again. “Then I won’t leave.”

“Good.” Sara wrapped her arms around his neck, repeating the single word in between kisses, and for now at least, Josh understood.

Pushing her skirt up high over her thighs, he growled when his fingers brushed against the thin material of her pantyhose. He curled his fingers around the edge and gently pulled the nylons down, rolling them over her calves and off her toes. His fingers glided up her legs again, caressing the smooth, firm skin until he reached her thighs. As his hands moved over her, he slid his mouth down her jaw and neck, licking a path to her breasts. He scraped his tongue over her bra, teasing her until he felt her n****e harden against his lips.

Sara leaned back on her hands, eyes fluttering shut and then open again as Josh caught the taut bud between his teeth. “Did you decide you weren’t hungry for Jose’s anymore?”

He looked up at her through his lashes, pulling his mouth away from her long enough to say, “Not hungry for food, at any rate.”

She smiled. For the first time since he’d brought up the topic of the future, she looked like the carefree Sara who had brought so much light into his life. “And what if I am?”

Without looking away from her, Josh reached for the phone resting on the counter and slipped his hand under her skirt, his fingers sliding between her wet folds to stroke her soft skin. He dialed the restaurant from memory, hesitating before hitting the last number. “The usual?”

“Yeah.” Though her gaze remained fixed on him, everything about her softened, wistful and intent, as he placed the order. She squirmed against his gentle caresses but never said a word, not until he’d disconnected and returned his full attention back to her. “Why aren’t you going to check your email?” she asked.

“It’s not going anywhere,” Josh said, matching her soft tone. “Being here with you…it doesn’t really matter what that email says because…well, let’s just say that I realized it doesn’t seem like the most important thing in my life anymore.”

Her rapt attention didn’t fade as Sara reached out for him, but the way she curled her body around his forced Josh to abandon touching her p***y. Her breasts crushed to his chest, so close he was sure he felt her heart pounding beneath her skin.

“Let’s go in the bedroom,” she said. “I want to get you out of these clothes, and I want to feel you against me, and I want you to bury this beautiful c**k of yours anywhere you’d like, and then everyplace else.” Her breath was sweet as she skimmed her lips over his. “I want you to know how important you are to me.”

Josh swallowed hard and nodded. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly as he lifted her off the counter. He carried her into the bedroom she shared with Cam without speaking, but even when he lowered her to the bed, she didn’t loosen her grip on him. That was fine. He didn’t want to be separated from her by even an inch, for even a moment. He kissed her hungrily as he pressed her against the mattress, and she moved her hands down his body to push his pants away.

He busied himself with her bra, undoing the front clasp, but Sara curled her hand around his aching c**k, distracting him from her breasts.

“Did Cam ever tell you how close we came to turning around and going back for you that first time you met him?” She pulled once and then swiped her palm over the wet tip. “I think we’ve always known you belonged here.”

“He told me once that you both wanted to, but he never told me how close you were,” Josh said, doing away with her skirt. Their shirts still hung from their bodies, but he didn’t care. He was throbbing with desire for her. “Did I ever tell you how close I came to following the two of you home?”

“You should have.” Sara’s eyes burned into his as she angled his c**k downward, dragging the head across her wet folds. “We didn’t even make it home before jumping each other. He f****d my ass in the backseat of the car, while I kept whispering to him what it would feel like when you finally f****d his ass.”

Josh whimpered. The heat coming from her body was intense. “I definitely never heard that story before.” He looked at her a little sheepishly. “I just went back to my room and jerked off.” Unable to resist for another moment, he thrust into her, electricity rolling down his spine as she finally enveloped him. “Three times,” he added hoarsely.

Her long legs wrapped around his hips, too powerful for him to fight against. She so rarely used her strength against him that Josh forgot just how strong she could be, but every time was like a special surprise, forcing him to walk a razor edge. Now he could only hold there, waiting for her to release him.

“Did you think you would be here almost a year later?” she whispered.

“Think it? I didn’t even dare to hope for it,” Josh whispered back. She relaxed slightly, giving him enough room to rock back and thrust forward again. He felt her power when they were this close, a sudden reminder she was different, not like him, or any other woman he had ever been with. This power, this strength, this unexpected rawness had frightened him in the very beginning, but now he welcomed it—it was familiar, and it was her, just one more reason to adore her. “Sometimes I still can’t quite believe it.”

“Believe,” Sara said before devouring his mouth with hers.

Their bodies moved in a rhythm that always seemed to come naturally, finding the matching tempos without pause or hitch. Her wet heat welcomed him in, coaxing him to prolong the minutes they got to share, and by the time their mouths parted, each panting for breath, Josh wondered why they’d even bothered with the pretense of lunch.

Her hands smoothed over his back, slick from the sweat that had risen to the surface of his skin. “You know what I hope?”

Josh almost didn’t hear her over the sound of his own ragged breath and the blood roaring in his ears. “What?” he asked, silently vowing to do whatever he could to make her unstated desire a reality.

Sara’s eyes were luminous. “That you’re still here a year from now…” she licked along the sharp edge of his chin, “…and two years from now…” the tip of her tongue tickled at the corner of his mouth, “…and for years and years after that.”

Josh tilted his head, catching her mouth in a soft kiss. A million reasons why he couldn’t stay in Delta crowded his mind—with just as many reasons why he couldn’t leave Delta—and all of them were good, legitimate reasons. As he explored her welcoming mouth with the tip of his tongue, none of them mattered. Sara alone would be enough to keep him there.

“I hope so, too,” he answered honestly against her lips.

The curve of her pleased smile was accompanied by the tightening of her muscles, around his back, around his c**k, around everything. “You better,” she teased. “Or else, Cam and I are going to have to go out and drag your ass back.”

Josh knew that probably wasn’t an idle threat. Sara wasn’t big on saying things she didn’t mean. “I never had anybody threaten to drag my ass anywhere, before.” He lowered his head, sighing against her skin and allowing all the pleasure to simply roll through him. “You feel so good.”

When he skimmed his mouth along the planes of her strong jaw, Sara shivered. “Obviously, nobody has ever loved you as much as I do then.”

Josh froze, pulling back to study her face. There was nothing but sincerity in her eyes, and she’d delivered the sentiment in such a straightforward manner he knew he couldn’t doubt her. “I…Jesus, Sara.” She looked back at him, unwavering. Whatever had been blocking his feelings before was broken now, and the words came to him with an almost practiced ease. “I love you.” He lowered his mouth to hers, saying the words again against her lips.

She eased her hold enough for him to start moving again, though this time, he didn’t refrain from pouring his all into it, sliding out nearly all the way before thrusting back in as deep as he could go. Whimpers rose in her throat as he caught her wrists and twisted them over her head. It pulled her breasts taut, and Josh used his free hand to pinch and pull at her n****e, but it only spurred Sara to push him harder, writhing beneath him as she swallowed each of his endearments.

Every movement she made—from arching her back to clenching around his c**k to biting at his lips while he kissed her—sent chills down his back. She seemed to be consuming him with her body and her mouth. The chills multiplied, rolled down him in wave after wave, until every inch of his body vibrated. His fingers tightened around her wrist and she arched her back one more time, rising off the bed to match his final, hard thrust before he exploded inside her.

Sara remained still for long seconds after they came. It wasn’t until Josh began raining kisses along her neck that a final, deep shudder wracked her body, and she broke free of his grasp to twine her arms around him and seek out his mouth with her own.

“Do you get it yet?” she said. “You can’t go. You have to stay.”

“I get it,” he assured her. “I get it. How could I possibly leave now?” He rolled onto his back without breaking the contact, pulling her onto his chest. They were silent for several moments, enjoying the slow comedown, before he tentatively asked, “And does Cam…I mean, what does he…think?”

She drew lazy patterns along his skin. “About you, you mean?”

“Yeah. About me. About what you just told me.”

“He knows.” Lifting her head to look at him, Sara rested her chin on his chest. “I can’t put words in his mouth, Josh. But I can promise you that he’d hurt just as much as I would if you weren’t here.”

Josh nodded. He didn’t expect Sara to be able to put words in Cam’s mouth, but he was relieved Cam knew Sara’s feelings—and he was relieved Cam appeared to have strong feelings, too. Josh’s feelings for Sara were as straightforward as these sorts of things could be, but his feelings for Cameron seemed to be more complicated, if only because he had never been this close to another man.

“Think we should move my stuff in here before or after he gets back?” Josh asked.

Her blossoming smile was slow and brilliant. “After,” Sara said. “I want to see his face when you tell him you want to move in here. I want you to see his face. And then I want both of you in this bed with me, naked.”

“I mentioned today how brilliant I think you are, right?” He kissed her forehead and the doorbell echoed through the house. “And there’s our food. Nice timing. Do you want to go answer the door?”

Her answer was to roll off him and grab her robe from where it was thrown over the footboard. “You stay. I’ll bring everything in here.” She shot one last grin over her shoulder. “I want you to get used to that bed.”

Josh wanted to, but as soon as she was out of his sight, all of his nerves, excitement and fear from earlier roared back. He wrapped the sheet around his waist and hurried into his bedroom. He opened the laptop without sitting, refreshing his email one final time. Holding his breath, he opened it. And smiled.