Trinity Broken

Chapter 3-1

Chapter 3

Josh sat with his back against the wall, idly rubbing Sara’s shoulder as he watched the two of them sleep. Cam had resisted falling asleep at first, doing everything he could to keep his eyes open after hunger and a heavy bladder roused Josh. But gradually, he closed his eyes and his body naturally sought out Sara’s, until they were spooned around each other like nothing had ever separated them.

He felt refreshed, like a different person, and he didn’t mind being left alone to watch over them. Josh never dreamed he would be trusted as the caregiver to two shapeshifters—especially two shifters as strong, physically and mentally, and overwhelming as Cam and Sara. Normal humans—outsiders in the shifters’ parlance—were not supposed to share a bed, a home or a life with shifters, and there wasn’t anybody who would think what Josh did was right.

Except the three of them. He knew this decision had been the correct one. He knew what his real role in this life was, and that was why losing Sara made everything seem so utterly pointless, drab, without purpose. Pure chance had brought Josh into their world, and it had seemed the cruelest fate that ripped Sara away from him.

It was hard for Josh to believe he even had a real existence prior to meeting Cam and Sara. From the moment he asked Sara if he could interview her for his study, he knew he needed more than just a few answers from her. When he first met her, he had taken himself and his work too seriously, and he had been ridiculously overeager to work with her. Not just because she had been vibrant and captivating. It only took a few days in Delta to ascertain that she hadn’t been raised in the small Utah town. Her experience with outsiders gave her a unique perspective on what it meant to be a shifter, on where she fit in the world, and how she differed from human beings. Josh assumed that she would be more self-aware than other shifters, and thus, easier to talk to.

Of course, that assumption had been wrong in every way. Yes, she was very self-aware, but every shifter Josh ever spoke to demonstrated an equal amount of self-awareness. Shifters weren’t animals. Anybody who spent five minutes in the shifter community would see that right away. But nobody would do such a thing. After earning a degree in anthropology, Josh had shifted gears in his graduate training. Due to his strong interest in researching shifters, he had been forced to switch to zoology. He had also been obligated to spend more time researching in laboratories, far away from anything resembling a shifter. Josh had spent most of his training trying to prove that the prevailing assumptions about shifters had been false, but nobody would listen to him until he had field work under his belt.

So he had applied for grants. It was difficult because universities had very limited funds they would not offer to anybody who wasn’t a full-time tenured professor. And six years before he began his doctorate work, over ninety-five percent of all federal funding to the sciences had been stopped and the private sector had taken over the research and development field. That meant securing a position within one of the giant mega-corporations devoted to everything from developing vaccines to building war machines. That meant convincing his new bosses they stood to gain something from his research. That meant nearly a decade of preparation that culminated in him arriving in Delta, looking for the perfect shifter to match against his proposed study.

And Sara had been beyond perfect. Josh had wanted somebody who had a prominent role in the community. Sara was a popular, widely loved elementary school teacher. He wanted somebody who had met certain measurements of success. A little background research revealed that Sara had chosen to come to Delta, but she had job offers across the country. He had wanted somebody young enough to perform certain physical tests. She had been in her mid-twenties when they met. He wanted somebody who was physically fit. Nobody could ever complain about Sara’s body. She was fit. He wanted somebody who showed an aptitude for shifting at an early age. She had shifted as a toddler. He wanted somebody who didn’t mind shifting for him and describing what it was like. Sara was extremely articulate, and would often paint pictures with her words, drawing him into an experience he could never truly know.

But there was one small problem. Scientists were supposed to be objective, unbiased. Scientists were supposed to be able to observe their work from a distance. Scientists needed to be reliable, patient, and above reproach, so their later work could not be called into question. But Josh could not keep that distance when it came to Sara. He wanted to know her every single way a man could know a woman, and later, when she introduced him to Cam, the powerful connection he had with the other man shocked him.

He had spent the last two years living in his memories, holding onto her shadow as tightly as he could because he didn’t know what else to do. He and Cam often spent entire nights swapping stories, sharing fond moments, sharing memories of jokes and laughter, sharing secrets and insights, while passing a bottle of whiskey back and forth. But Josh had his own private stash of memories he never discussed with Cam, and he knew Cam must have his own secrets he clutched jealously to his heart.

It was easy for Josh to slip into one of those memories while he waited for the next part of their future to begin. And it was just like that. Waiting. Hanging on the edge of uncertainty until they woke up. Four years separated him from the memory he visited whenever he needed strength, but it was still as vivid as the day before. More so, in many ways.

How could it not be the most vivid day in his recent memory? It was the day his life changed in every way that mattered.