The Beta's Decision

You don't love me

-Genesis

I don't know how or why it is possible, but I could feel Ben's feelings. The way he stormed out of here, the anger, the jealousy when he looked at me when Raffiel kissed me.

Raffiel is like a brother to me and I am like a sister to him. He visited me at the hospital, way more often than any other member of the pack did.

He even brought me fresh food that Olaf had prepared.

What did Ben do after I saw him holding my hand?

He never came back. I only saw him that one time.

Maybe it is for the better. He is getting married next Tuesday anyway.

"He is in a really bad mood lately. I am sorry that he . . ."

"No need to apologize," Ella interrupted her, kind as always.

"He is having one of those days. It will pass."

Skye nodded with a small smile but she didn't seem to agree with Ella. Something else is going on. Maybe things are not going well between them. I wish I knew.

Sabrina came back inside. Tears had stained her face and I had a feeling it had to do something with Ben.

"Hey. Did you . . . Sabrina? Why are you crying?" Skye was instantly on her side and comforted her. Sabrina sat down between Ella and Skye and she started explaining what happened.

As it turns out, I was right. It was Benjamin's fault that she was crying.

"What did he tell you?" Kai didn't look happy about it.

"Nothing. Doesn't matter."

"Genesis and I will come to pick you up later. I want to show you around today. Senia?" Ella called her new personal assistant.

She insisted on not wanting to have one, but Xander wanted her to have a person by her side when he was not there, now that she is pregnant. I can understand that.

I wish Louis was still alive. He used to be so kind and loving. He was always there for me.

The day of the fire comes to mind and tears start flowing uncontrollably. Damn it. The others will see me and start asking questions.

"Yes, Luna?" Senia comes in and it is the perfect time to escape the room full of people whose attention is on Senia.

"Tell Wayne we will be ready in two hours and that we are picking up Sabrina before we head to work."

"Yes, Luna."

"Perfect. Now let us head to training before Xander loses his temper."

Just as I got to the kitchen door, Ella noticed me.

"Genesis, you are staying here, right? The doctor's orders. You have to stay home for another two weeks. No training."

"Yes," I turned halfway around so she would not see me crying.

"If you need anything, call me. Do not hesitate."

"Of course." I smiled and headed upstairs to my new bedroom. It was on the second floor. Ella makes me feel important around here. Before she came, I was nobody. I always felt like everybody hated me. Even my own family.

I try to keep those memories at bay but they keep haunting me. They have haunted me for the last five years. Since the incident. Two months from now, it will be six years since the accident. I wish I could tell someone else, apart from Xander, what really happened. No one can know about it.

It is too dangerous. But the longer I keep it to myself, the worse it gets. I keep having nightmares, but not just about that.

The entire last week I have dreamed about Ben and the first time he asked me out. I don't know why. It just happens out of nowhere.

The last week has been all about him. My second chance at having a mate has come up and it is a total disaster. Why does the Goddess punish me like this? How do I make it right again?

I was standing in front of my bedroom door, but I did not want to go inside. I had a strange feeling that something was going to happen soon. I paced around the corridor, looking up and down repeatedly until I felt a bit lightheaded and just then I smelled the sweet scent of chocolate and cinnamon.

I knew to whom it belonged. It belonged to Benjamin. Just as I raised my head toward the direction of the stairs, I saw him standing there, looking at me, breathing heavily.

He walked towards me, aggressively, and I was scared to my core. What will he do to me? He is always angry around me.

I took a few steps back and was backed into a wall. Like the last time. He was just a few inches away from me but he didn't talk or touch me. Neither did I.

We stood like this for the longest time, I think, staring at each other until I finally decided to break the silence.

"What do you want?" I said in the smallest voice and as I talked, he moved his arms and placed them on each side of my head. Again . . . just like last time.

Oh, this is torture. I want to bury my tongue in his mouth. God, he smells wonderful. I feel so weak around him.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You make me crazy," he said, but it didn't feel like a compliment.

"I thought I could make it through another week. I thought you . . ." he looked at me and all I could see was pain.

"You don't love me. You never have and you never will. After what I saw today, I am sure what to do now."

I don't love him? I am crazy about him. He is the one that hates me. He has hated me ever since I told him I had found my mate.

"So you came all the way here to tell me that I do not love you? That is what you came here for? To assume things about me and tell me what I feel when you actually have no idea?"

"What?" He looked surprised.

"You are the one that does not love me. You are the one that hates me. You have hated me since the day I told you I had found my mate. You are the one that keeps telling everyone that I am a filthy half-breed. A monster. So why don't you do me a favor and leave me alone?"

How dare he? I want to be alone. I want to lie down on my bed and cry out this awful day on my pillow.

I walked away from him, but just as I was about to enter my room, he grabbed my arm and spun me around. Next thing I know, his arms are around me, and his lips are on mine.