Promise of love (Untold Story of The Ace NeuroSurgeon)

  Remember; everything in life is a choice, and every choice comes with a Consequence! So when it all comes right back at you, remember; It was your choice!   * * * * * * * *     Lexie       NAPADILAT ako ng maramdaman ko ang marahang pag uga ng eroplanong sinasakyan ko.       Pa-landing na pala kami.       As my hands gripped the armrests of my seat and I couldn't make myself let go until the flight attendant came to check on me long after everyone else was off the plane. Nanginginig pa ang mga kamay ko habang pababa ako ng eroplano.       That morning, I woke up in my bed in Los Angeles, took a cab to the airport, and boarded my plane. Suwerte ko lang at nakakuha ako ng nonstop flight to Boston, but it had been difficult.       I wasn't much of a flier. It wasn't that I hated flying. Nagka-trauma ako minsang may nasakyan akong eroplanong pa-puntang Coron na nag emergency landing sa Cebu. But it landed. Thank God.       I made my way through the terminal and towards the baggage claim. Sabi ni dad siya ang susundo sa akin, pero hindi man lang ako natuwa sa ideang 'yon. Dahil siya ang pinaka-iresponsableng taong nakilala ko, idagdag pa ang mistress niya na kasalukuyang ibinabahay niya.       Pagka-kita ko pa lang sa kanya around the corner to baggage claim, his void eyes staring at me. Hinintay niya lang akong makalapit sa kanya but made no effort to hug me.       I just nod at him.       He hated me for so many reasons. Hated me when I choose to become a chef instead to be like him, a Lawyer–resented me for going to live with my mom after they separated.       It wasn't a decision I'd made lightly, pero masakit pa ring isipin na hindi man lang niya ako binigyan ng choice mag paliwanag sa mga ginawa kong desisyon sa buhay ko. There were things about my life he didn't know, so I couldn't blame him too much.       Itinago ko ang tunay na ako sa maraming tao, sa maraming bagay, sa matagal na panahon.       Ilang linggo na ang nakakaraan ng pumanaw ang papa ni Miranda, my bestfriend. Nasa LA ako ng mga panahon na 'yon, at napabalik ako ng di oras to helped my best friend, dealt with the death of her father. Miranda needed support through her grief, and even though she had Blake, ramdam ko pa din na kailangan ko pa ring bumalik.       At least for a while.       Nang huli kaming mag-usap bago siya umalis papuntang Boston, hindi ko masabi sa kanya kung ano ang dahilan ng bigla kong pag alis.       Natatakot ako.       But I promise her I would move home, and I meant to keep my promise. Nung magkita kami sa Boston dahil binisita ko siya, Mira dropped me at the airport, demanding I would not change my mind.       "There's no way I'm letting you leave me here to handle Jairus." she protested when I joked about not coming back.       Jairus was just another complication of my life. Nakilala ko siya when he took me to my grad ball. He was Blake's bestfriend na boyfriend naman ni Miranda noon. At kahit mukha siyang manyak, basagulero at parang naghuhubad lang ng briefs kung magpalit ng babae sa buhay niya, he was a perfect gentleman, which led me on liking him.nAt nung mag break sila Blake at Mira, hindi pa din nasira ang nabuong friendship sa aming dalawa.       "I'll come back, Mira. Kailangan ko lang mag paalam kay mommy, alam mo naman yun." I reassured her.       Miranda was very fragile and sensitive, at alam ko din na nag aalala siya sa kalagayan ko. Even though I explained how little chance there was of relapse, she was still worried. It made sense. Her father died of cancer just two weeks ago. So, finding out her best friend had leukemia was a shock.       Yes. I have cancer.       I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia three years ago. I didn't want to tell her. Hell, I didn't even want to admit it to myself. But she'd begged and pleaded until I confessed.       Si mom lang ang pinag sabihan ko nito at naging katuwang ko sa lahat. I didn't tell dad about it dahil wala naman yung pakielam sa akin. Plus, Miranda had been dealing with her father's cancer; she didn't need to worry about mine.       I was in remission. There was no reason to think it would come back, either. I'd been cancer-free for two whole years. It didn't seem like a long time, pero palagi pa din ang pag papa-check up ko sa doctor ko.       "Did you eat on the plane?" Tita Lana, my step-mother asked me. I gulped down my immediate nausea and shook my head.       "Hindi naman ako nagugutom. Can we just go home?" I mumbled as we made our way out of the airport after kong makuha ang mga bagahe ko.       Naging tahimik ang biyahe namin. Tatlong oras din ang naging biyahe namin papuntang Batangas. The silence gave me some time to truly think, about being back home.       Actually, okay naman dito dahil may sarili din naman akong condo at maganda din ang takbo ng restaurant ko. The problem was me, my reasons for leaving had been an escape from the reality that I have borrowed time.       Maganda din sa LA. Unang kita ko pa lang sa lugar, I fell in love with the city. But also, It was a busy place. At habang ang iba ay masayang nililibot ang kabuuan ng lungsod, kami naman ng mommy ko, nag ta-trabaho para may maipang tustos sa chemotherapy ko at daan-daang blood transfusions.       LA was the land of dreams, and although mine probably wasn't going to come true, I loved living there. But the more I watched the people around me achieve their dreams, the more I realized I would never be able to stay there forever. Nagpasya akong bumalik ng Pilipinas after finally, the doctors declared that I am cancer-free. To finally pursue my dreams, at para na rin kay Jairus.       It wasn't something I was ready to decide, but it happened that fast. Until then, I just wanted to enjoy myself. Kung hanggang kelan—diko masasabi.       Dad didn't expect me to stay home, which meant I needed to live alone in my condo. Ayos lang naman, sanay nako dun. Ayoko din naman siyang makasama. Because of him, I lost the perfect family I dreamt about. Mula ng iwan niya kami ni mommy at ipag palit sa iba. Mula ng pinili niyang isang tabi ako para sa mas mahal niyang mga anak.       I tried not to think about the past habang nakasilip sa bintana ng sasakyan. I found out about my leukemia just after my graduation, after ma-finalized yung annulment nila mom and dad. As much as I wanted to spend months grieving, the knowledge of my cancer pushed me to live. Nang magpasya kami ni mom na dun ako magpagamot sa LA. At habang binibigyan ko ng magandang logic ang dahilan ng dad ko – on why he left us, I resented him for expecting me to be there for him when he couldn't be there for me. Eventually, nakaya din namin na hindi siya kailanganin.       When our car pulled down Main Street in Batangas, napangiti ako. Feelings of contentment and a coming home filled me. Kahit na maganda sa LA, iba pa din kapag nasa kinalakihan mong bansa ka.       This was home for me.       This is where I belonged.  _______________________________    HABANG nasa daan kami, napaisip ako kung dapat bang malaman ni dad ang kalagayan ko. Would he believe me? Or just resent me even more? How about Jairus, kailangan bang pag daanan nila ulit ang nangyari kay Uncle Rick?       Naaamoy ko na ang sariwang hangin at ang simoy ng dagat. Kahit na marami na akong nakitang magagandang beaches sa LA. Iba pa din ang dagat dito sa Batangas.       Ilang minuto lang ang nakalipas, dumating na kami sa bahay. Typical ancestral house ang bahay ni daddy. Two-story ito na napapalibutan ng malawak na lupain, sa likod nito makikita ang malawak na karagatan.       Dito ako lumaki, nagkaisip, at nasaktan.       I emerged from the passenger seat, grabbed my bag, and made my way into the house. Ang kuwarto ko ang pinakamaliit sa lahat. Actually, pasalamat pa nga ako at itinira pa nila ang kuwarto na 'to sa akin. Noong umalis ako, ginawa nila tong guest room. Kaya nawala ang mga posters ng mga favorite boy band ko, although I had time to adjust to the fact that my father erased a piece of me, it still stung. The quotes from poems and my favorite books I'd written on the walls had been painted over with brilliantly white paint. Even the desk had been painted to cover all the phone numbers I wrote on it in permanent marker.       I swallowed the lump in my throat.       When I'd come home two years ago, everything had been painted over. Hindi ko na tuloy maramdaman na anak pa niya ako. Oh, kung ano ba ang dapat kong maramdaman sa nakikita kong pag limot ng daddy ko sa akin.       It was as if he had deleted a piece of my past.       Lumapit ako sa table ko at binuksan ang top drawer nito. Nakita kong andun ang mga litrato ng kabataan ko, but closed it again, not yet wanting to go down memory lane. Inilapag ko ang bag ko malapit sa kama at hinatak ang pinto pasara ng mapansin kong nakabukas ang pinto ng kuwarto ni Noah.       Si Noah ang bunga ng kataksilan ni daddy, and had ultimately caused their divorce. He's now twenty-five and currently traveled for his job. At least, dad's infidelity brought me a brother. He was a photographer, not only was he is talented with a lens, but he also went from place to place and lived as a nomad. He never stayed in the same place longer than a few months. Three years after, nasundan si Noah. They named her Naomi. Ga-graduate na siya ngayong taon sa College. She was smart, sassy, and gorgeous. At her age, she had more grace and style than most women had in a lifetime. Of course, her mother, Lana was a model, which probably contributed to her fashion sense. Gusto niyang nasa debut party niya ako and I promised her that I wouldn't miss it.       I walked past Noah's bedroom and the door was partially open. The fact that Noah spent more of his time out of the house – isa siyang photographer at tinanggap niya ang scholarship na in-offer sa kanya ng Tito niya.       Di tulad ng kuwarto ko, Noah's bedroom had become a shrine.       Covering the walls were photos he'd taken, photos of him taking photos, and copies of the awards he'd won in the last few years. Lahat ng iyon naka-framed at nakasabit. I bet this was all daddy's idea. I stared at the walls, knowing how much Noah would hate it. Sasabihin lang niya na, huwag siyang masyadong purihin at ilagay sa pedestal dahil marami pa siyang dapat matutunan.       Matagal-tagal na din since Noah didn't come home.       I stepped out of the room, vaguely aware that it smelled like Noah.       Isinara ko ang pintuan nito at ipinangako sa sarili ko na hindi na muli pang bubuksan.       I hate daddy.       I hate him for loving him more than me.