Entangled Heart: A Rival's Redemption

Chapter 5: A Sloshful of Hope

---------------------- Emma.

The next several days were a haze of avoidance and labor. I put myself into the project, staying late at the office and checking I was out of the door before Liam showed up in the mornings. It was simpler that way—easier to concentrate on figures, plans, and market trends than to manage the unsolved tension between us. Still, Liam was always there no matter how hard I tried to avoid him. A cursory glance across the conference room, a casual remark during a meeting, a brushstroke of our hands as we passed each other in the hall. Every instant we were in the same area seemed charged, as though the air surrounding us was too heavy for breathing. I assured myself I could manage it and I didn't give a damn. Actually, though, I felt as though I was walking on a razor's edge and would fall at any instant. It didn't help that my thoughts kept playing over our previous conversation—Liam's soft-spoken apologies, the rawness in his voice when he had asked for yet another opportunity. I wanted to believe him, let myself think that perhaps things might turn out this time. I was unsure, though, whether I could once more rely on him. Trust was brittle; once it was damaged, it was not readily restored. Still, a part of me yearned to try. A part of me yearning to believe we might go forward, together. I shook my head, attempting to drive the idea from me. Hope was risky; I couldn't afford to let it color my judgment. ---------------------wise Friday afternoon I was gazing out at the city below from the large windows of the Worthington Industries office. It was one of those rare times when the office was empty, the regular buzz replaced by the soothing hum of the air conditioning and distant sounds of traffic outside. Though I wasn't ready to leave yet, I had done enough for the day. It was too taxing to go back to my empty flat, where my ideas would surely stray back to Liam. My thoughts were cut off by a gentle rap on the door, and I turned to find Liam standing in the doorway. At first he said nothing, only observed me with that unreadable gaze I had come to link with him. I knew he was looking for something—for me to welcome him, to honor him. "Hey," he began, before pausing and entering the room. "You okay?" I nodded and returned to face the window. Just wondering. He approached, stopping a few feet from me. His presence, the warmth of him filling the distance between us, made my heart accelerate in a way I didn't want to acknowledge. "You have lately been quiet," he said gently. " More than normal." I shucked, not sure I could talk. I wanted not here, not now, not to have this conversation. But if not relentless, Liam was nothing. With his tone matter-of-fact, he said, "You're avoiding me." I groaned and turned to meet him. I'm not trying to avoid you. I am simply...busy. With an eyebrow, Liam seemed obviously dubious. "Busy avoiding me, perhaps." I glowed at him, but it had the opposite intended impact. He simply grinned, that shockingly beautiful smile that caused my stomach to turn over flip-flops. It was the same smile he had applied to me all those years ago, the one that first drew me in. "Liam," I muttered, a frustrated voice. "What are your preferences?" His grin vanished, and something more somber took front stage. "I would like to chat. on us. My chest felt a bolt of worry. He naturally wanted to discuss us. That was all we seemed to be doing lately—talk, go over the past, try to sort the mess we had created of things. I wasn't sure, though, whether I had the will for another fruitless chat. "There is no us," I responded, sounding calm yet forceful. No more. Liam stepped forward, staring directly at me. You know that this is untrue. My heart hammered in my chest, making breathing difficult with his focused stare. I wanted to pretend as though it didn't still effect me and push him away, thereby negating it. The truth was, though, Liam still held me under influence regardless of my best efforts to persuade myself differently. "Why do you keep doing this?" My voice just above a whisper, I asked. "Why cannot you just let it pass?" Reaching out, he softly grabbed my hand. His gentle touch made me tingle down my spine, and I detested how much I still yearned for that relationship, that intimacy. He answered gently, "Because I can't." Emma, I cannot let you go. Not yet. I gazed at him while my mind flew. I had spent so many years erecting barriers around me to shield me from the anguish of the past. Here he was, nevertheless, urging me to demolish those walls in front of me. And I had no idea whether I could. You injured me, I murmured, my voice shaking. "You left me when I most needed you.” Liam's face softened, and he gave me a little hand squeeze. I understand. And I have been sorry every day since. At the rear of my eyes, tears burned, but I blinked them away, not letting them fall. Not once more, I couldn cry in front of him. Over Liam Worthington, I had wept sufficient tears to last a lifetime. I muttered, my voice trembling, "I'm not sure if I can trust you." He moved nearer, his other hand rising to cup my cheek. "I am not expecting you to start trusting me straight immediately. I am aware I have to work for that. I am, however, seeking an opportunity. An opportunity to demonstrate to you that I am not the same man I was back then. I closed my eyes and leaned toward his touch against will. His palm was warm and consoling; for a little instant, I let myself picture believing him. To let him reenter my life and into my heart. Still, the anxiety lurked just under the surface. I worry he would hurt me once more if I let him in. That I would be left shattered and alone, exactly as before. I said, my voice hardly audible, "I'm not sure whether I can do this." Liam bent down, his forehead resting on my cheek as his thumb lightly swept across it. "You don't have to decide right now," he replied quietly. "Just consider it.". Not sure how to say, I nodded. I needed time to sort out my very complicated and sensitive emotions. I was in need of space. As if reading my ideas, Liam answered, "I'll give you time." "But Emma, I am not giving up on us. Not right now. I withdrew, the weight of his comments hurting in my heart. Part of me wanted to believe him, to hope that this time things may go differently. But another side of me, the side damaged before, was too terrified to leap. I said, backing off and reaching for my bag off the desk: "I need to go." I have to empty my head. Liam neither pushed for more nor stopped me. He simply nodded, his look sympathetic but yet tinged with some remorse. Quietly, he whispered, "I'll be here when you're ready." My heart weighed heavily with the realization that Liam Worthington will always be a part of me as I turned and left the office. No matter how far I attempted to run from him. ---------------------- The crisp evening air nibbling at my skin as I strolled across the busy streets of the city helped me to sort the emotions whirl around inside me. Until I could no more avoid them, Liam's words kept repeating in my head. I'm not giving up on us Emma. I wanted to believe him, wanted to hope that things may change. But the memories of the past returned every time I considered giving myself to him once more—the pain, the treachery, the years of solitude that had followed. Not the same woman I had been back then. I had created a life for myself, a career from which I felt pride. I had no use for Liam. Even still, I couldn't get rid of the thought that perhaps, just maybe, I still wanted him despite all I attempted to persuade myself of. To me, Liam had always been more than just a lover—truthwise. He had been my confidante and all around collaborator. Losing him had seemed like losing a piece of myself, and I had spent years attempting to cover that vacuum. Still, nothing had ever really matched what we had experienced. Walking, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Pulling it out, half-expecting another message from Jenna, my breath stopped in my throat upon seeing who it was from. Liam: I stated what I meant. I will be here waiting. My heart thumping in my chest, I spent a long time staring at the message. I wasn't sure if I was ready to accept him back into my life or forgive him. I realized, though, that I could not keep sprinting from the past indefinitely. Deeply breathing, I typed a response: Me: I need time. But I'll give it some thought. Still thinking, I hit send and dropped the phone back into my pocket. Perhaps this heralded the start of something different. Alternatively I responded, feeling an odd mix of relief and anxiety cover me. Perhaps this marked the beginning of something fresh or the last chapter of something that ought to have closed long ago. Either way, I knew one thing for sure: my life was going to change and I wasn’s whether I was ready for what was next.