Our dark place

Chapter 6: Tripping

Chapter 6

Odette

"Mom! Get out of bed!" I shout, shaking my mother's body, who's lying almost lifeless in the bed.

I don't get an answer. She either ignores me or can't hear me. I think more of the first option. I know she can hear me, she just won't acknowledge me right now.

Ever since Cassie’s body was found, my mother just completely shut down, leaving my dad and me to do everything around the house and take care of two children. One who's three years old and one who's seven and does not speak.

"Mom!" I yell, tears flowing down my eyes. "Mom you can't do this! Mom!"

Dad is trying to be strong for me and the kids but I can tell that this is all killing him. His wife is in depression, one of his three daughters has been murdered, his youngest daughter is very confused and his son isn't speaking anymore. And his older sister's daughter, me, is angry and bitter and has a complete change of personality.

And what does mom do? Nothing. Lying in bed, drooling on her pillow. And it's really getting on my nerves.

I hit my mom's back over the fluffy pillow. "Mother!" Tears start flowing even more from my eyes. "Get out of bed!"

How can she do this? She has a toddler to take care of. Gwen is only three, and she needs her mother. I couldn't care less, I've lost all my respect for my mother, I'm doing this for Tyler and Gwen and my father. They all need her. I can't be Tyler and Gwen's mother, I'm their sister and I'm only sixteen. I can't be their mother, mom has to be their mother. She's got to step up and be there for her children, she can't just shut down like this!

I scream out frustrated. I grab Mom's cover and pull it off her. "Mom! You can't just lie here! Get out of bed! Tyler and Gwen need you and dad needs you! You can't shut down, you're not the only one who suffers", I cry and cry and yell at my mother. I don't get a single reaction. "Mother! Did you hear me?!"

Mom takes off the cover. "Get out", she says and pulls the cover over herself again.

I just stand here, looking at this woman, who I always admired before. I've got no respect for her anymore. I hate her. I hate my mother. I will never forgive her for this.

Never.

"Odette?"

"Hm?" I look up and meet a pair of glowing golden-brown eyes. It feels like I have woken up from a dream.

"Class is over", Tabitha says.

"Oh", I say, and shake my head slightly. I look around and I see that the classroom is empty, apart from my friends, who are waiting for me. Jesse looks impatient so I'm guessing they're forcing him to wait. "Sorry".

I grab my stuff and stand up. I walk with Tabitha to the boys and together we walk out of the classroom. I think we've got lunch now. The funny thing is that even if Jesse and I don’t really tolerate each other, I think we are some kind of friends.

"What were you daydreaming about?" Fisher asks. "You were out for like half an hour, looking all concerned and Tabbi couldn't get any contact with you at all".

"Oh just... nothing", I mumble and sigh.

I don't like talking about my feeling and thoughts. People can do that and I will listen to them, but I myself hate exposing myself like that, so I don't. I keep it all inside. Sometimes I talk to my dad, but he's got so much going on, trying to feed the family and taking care of the kids. I just feel like he doesn't have time for me the way he used to before and I'm okay with that because I know that the kids have to come first, they need dad more than I do. Tyler is sticking to dad, he's suspicious when it comes to mom, he doesn't trust her the way he used to before. Mom is trying to patch together her relationship with Tyler and it's going to take time. Gwen likes mom though because she is still little and doesn't remember a lot.

I don't know what dad thinks of mom, I mean he loves her, obviously, otherwise, he wouldn't stay with her, but he must have felt betrayed or something at one point when she left him to take care of everything on his own. I know that I felt betrayed and Tyler felt betrayed as well.

“Odette!"

"What?" I ask and lookup.

"You did it again", Tabitha says. "What's up with you?"

"I'm just tired", I say, and straighten my black shirt, which says; Tap my ass and I pluck your grapes! Tabitha laughed so hard this morning when she first saw it.

I print the texts myself on my shirts, she says that I could most definitely sell them and make a fortune because they're funny, raw, and true.

"Watch out for the stairs if you're that tired", Fisher says.

"Why? Would be fun to see her fall down", Jesse mutters.

"f**k off Turner", I hiss at him.

We all walk down the stairs, but when it's three steps left, I put my leg in front of Jesse’s feet and trip him. He flies down the three steps and hits his face onto the marble floors of the entrance hall.

Fisher roars out in laughter and Tabitha puts her hand to her mouth, she looks shocked and like she wants to laugh but doesn’t.

Jesse is barely moving but lets out a low groan. I smile slyly and winning. Serves him right for wishing I was the one to fall down the stairs.

"Well well", I say and slowly walk up to Jesse. "Karma got you good".

"b***h you tripped me", he hisses and stands up. “There’s no karma here”.

"Okay so I got you good", I say. "My middle name should be karma".

In a split second, I find myself pressed up against the wall with Jesse's face a few millimeters from mine. I don’t know why but it starts to tingle it in my stomach, Jesse’s eyes are so beautiful and he is so freaking hot.

"What? Afraid?" I whisper. "Feeling a little intimidated are we?"

"You don't, want to make me an enemy Collins", Jesse says.

"Funny, I was gonna say the same thing", I say. I grab his arms and kick him on his crotch. He falls down on his knees with his hands covering his crotch. "Cause I'm not one of those weak girls who can't take care of themselves". He just looks at me like he wants nothing more than to slap me. He can't though because he's got both of his hands on his crotch and I think it hurts too much for him to let go. "And call me b***h one more time, I will make you sterile, I swear to god", I added, patting his cheek lightly with my hand.

And with that, I smile at the others and walk away. I can hear Tabitha runs after me.

That felt so good. But at the same time, I don’t know by I behave like this, I don’t want to. It’s like I have to put up a shield all the time and be hard and tough. Even though it felt good in one way, it felt bad in another way. Jesse is not a saint but I don’t want to behave like this, it just happens.