Marks and Scars

Fire

Business was slow at the gift shop, but Tuesday mornings in the Fall had never been especially busy. The door was propped open and the cool, late Autumn breeze was rustling all of the post cards, then causing the millions of ornaments to sway. I dropped my hand from my chin and let out a sigh, turning my attention to the computer screen in front of me. After a moment I opened up a private browser and began scrolling through social media. 

On the glass counter, my phone buzzed for the third time since I’d arrived at work four hours prior. 

It was Jeremy. And while I wasn’t exactly trying to ignore him, I hadn’t answered him all morning. 

I had no doubt that if I didn't answer this text in a timely manner, I would be hunted down. I let out another sigh and muted my phone. I knew very little about him, yet I was itching to be around him. My nerves were rattled in indescribable ways and I knew that only he could calm them. And even though I knew he would make me feel better physically, it wasn’t an answer. It was just a bandaid. I knew that I had not yet mentally absorbed everything. I had to be in some state of numb denial. 

He had marked me -  a very primal and strangely intimate action.

He had marked me - and I had not consented. That felt wrong. 

He had marked me - and for some reason… that thrilled me. 

I knew very little about him, and yet, he knew almost everything about me.

I let out a frustrated grunt. It wasn’t fair.   

The skin on the back of my neck began to prickle and I glanced up instinctively. A large part of me expected to see Jeremy standing in the door, but it wasn’t him. Cathleen breezed through the open door, her pixie-like face beaming.

“Hey! When are you off today?”

Her professional attire was a stark contrast to her personal style. 

“Why aren’t you at work?” I asked, my brows furrowed. My mind flashed back to Tyler, and I wondered what he had said to her, if anything.

She waved away my words. “I am at work. I had to run an errand at the bank,” she explained, pointing across the street. 

I nodded in response. “I get off at four,” I answered.

“Awesome! We need to go shopping,” she informed me.

“Okay. Stop by and pick me up when you’re ready to go then,” I told her. As she turned to leave, I mentally prepared myself before opening my mouth again. “Have you heard from Tyler today?”

She stopped at the door, her hand resting on the frame. “Yeah, what about him?”

“Did he mention anything about moving out?”

She made a sour face. “Yeah, he told me he’s moving in with some people from the restaurant. He didn’t even pay his portion of the rent last month, did you know that?”

“That’s all he said?” I was surprised.

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “It’s about time if you ask me though. The living room was starting to smell like his gym socks.”

I just nodded in surprise. “Alright, I was just making sure he mentioned it to you.”

Her lack of concern was surprising, but I was relieved. The rest of the day dragged on, but I was finally relieved from my duty when Clay, my coworker, showed up for closing. I grabbed my bag and coat and walked to the sidewalk outside of the store. 

I leaned against the brick wall in between the shops and stared around the street. It was empty for the most part. Not much later, Cathleen pulled up in front of me in her cherry red Chevy Cruze. I slid into the passenger seat easily, inhaling the scent of menthol cigarettes before giving her the side eye. “I thought you quit,” I prodded, my eyebrows raised.

She scowled at me. “I thought you were going to call you mom on her birthday this year.”

Fair enough.

Cathleen drove to the mall, skillfully weaving through the thick Savannah traffic. I followed her from store to store. She did this every time she received a bonus- wasted it on gifts to send to her countless nieces and nephews up north. 

I browsed the racks and shelves patiently, too distracted to actually look for anything. We were headed to Barnes & Noble, passing through the food court, when Cathleen suddenly stopped. 

“Hey,” she began, but I knew what she was about to say.

A certain sensitive spot on my neck had begun to burn and I instinctively knew he was nearby. 

“Kara, isn’t that…” she trailed off. I followed her gaze, and saw his side profile. He was leaning against the railing of Sbarro, his hands in the pockets of his dark, unzipped hoodie. 

“Yep,” I confirmed. I also noticed Trevor, and other familiar faces standing around him… Vanessa’s flaming red hair was also present.

“What, is he following you now?” she asked.

I let out a low laugh and lied. “I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. Come on, let’s keep going. I’m watching you blow all your money, remember?”

“You’re supposed to be keeping me from blowing my money,” Cathleen muttered as we continued through the throng of tables and chairs.

“Oh, is that why you brought me along?” I laughed again, trying to force myself to relax.

I could feel a pair of eyes following us as we walked into the large book store just down the corridor off of the food court. Cathleen and I split up. She walked toward the front where all the special promotions were while I branched off to the right, wandering down the fantasy aisle. 

I didn’t have to wait long. I’d just picked up a book about fallen angels when I sensed his presence behind me. 

“Having a good day?” I called over my shoulder, before he could say anything. 

He didn’t answer, so I put the book back and turned to face him. He was closer than I’d originally thought, and seemed to be looking at me in confusion. 

“Why haven’t you answered me?” he asked. 

“I’ve been busy,” I lied simply, shrugging my shoulders. 

His expression fell into a scowl briefly before he attempted to store it away behind his usual stoney expression. “Is everything okay?” he asked seriously. 

I shrugged. “I mean, honestly? I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know… anything? I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I haven’t fully processed anything that’s happened.”

“What does that mean?”

I held one of my hands up in the air, waving it in circles. “This isn’t normal, and it’s been overwhelming, and I just wanted some time to think.”

“Have you figured anything out?” he asked, surprisingly patient. 

“Yeah… I’m mad at you.”

His eyes actually widened in surprise. “Me?”

“Yeah.” I turned back around, running my hand along the rows of books, turning my head to the side to peer at the titles. 

Jeremy moved to my right, trying to make eye contact with me. “Why are you mad at me?”

I stayed silent, moving to the left since he was blocking my right. He followed. 

“Is it because of this?” he raised his hand and caressed the side of my neck. I could feel the mark that was there burning slightly. I didn’t hate it. But I forced aside those sensations and pushed his hand away. 

“Actually… yeah,” I said. The more I thought about it, the easier the truth came out. “Not necessarily that thing itself, but the entire way you behaved at the cabin yesterday.”

“The way I behaved,” Jeremy repeated flatly. 

“You were being possessive, acting out of anger, and honestly you were a little bit manipulative,” I rattled on, counting on my fingers. “If this is what this is going to be like, then I don’t want it.”

Jeremy’s eyes clouded over. “What are you saying?”

My eyes softened a bit as I felt a small pang in my chest. Instinctively, I reached out and placed my hand over his heart. He stilled at my action, but said nothing. 

For some reason, I felt unable to look him in the face, so I stared at my hand on his chest as I spoke. “I’m saying that I will fight whatever this is if that is who you really are. I don’t know you. All I know is that I feel a pull whenever you are around, and I feel something almost primal when we touch. But I will not be used to prove a point in some war that I have no role in.”

Jeremy was silent for a moment as I pulled my hand away. He reached out and grabbed my chin, tilting up. I had no choice but to meet his gaze. 

“I’ve already marked you. You can’t reject me now.”

I scoffed, pulling my chin from his hand. “Is that the only thing you heard?”

“Come back with me,” this time Jeremy grabbed my hand, pulling on me lightly, but I planted my feet firmly to the ground. 

“I’m with a friend,” I replied stiffly.

“I could force you to come back with me, you know.”

Two menacing shadows appeared, one at either end of the aisle. On one end was a passive looking Trevor, and on the other was a murderous looking Vanessa. The sight of Vanessa only fueled my stubbornness, for some reason unknown to me.

“Do you really not care if I hate you?” I asked him, so quietly I could barely hear my own voice. “I’m not leaving with you.”

He seemed to hesitate. For my part, I knew I could never really hate him - whatever connection we had wouldn’t allow me to. But if he continued to act like such a… an alpha, I would lie to myself until I truly believed I hated him. 

Our tense standoff was interrupted by a shrill yell. 

“Kara! Kara!”

Cathleen came sliding around the corner. Trevor stepped out of her way while watching her carefully. She stopped at the end of the aisle, holding her phone up in the air. 

“It’s the landlord…”

A half hour later, I stood on the edge of the street, staring at the blackened hull of what used to be our apartment. The outer brick only looked scorched, but smoke was still drifting out the busted windows. Cathleen stood to my right on the verge of a breakdown. We wouldn’t know until a day or two later how bad the fire was, we had to wait for the smoke to stop completely. 

“I don’t understand how… how did this happen?” I asked her.

She hadn’t been in a good state when we ran out of the store, and had thrown the keys to me. I had sped back to the apartment, Jeremy hot on our tail in his Jeep, towing his reluctant cronies with him. They were all in the Jeep still, parked on the curb several feet away. 

“The potheads upstairs,” Cathleen muttered, eyeing the aforementioned couple a dozen feet to our right. “They said the fire started in their apartment, and since the building is so old, it spread quickly.”

She glanced down at her phone, wiping away at her eyes. I frowned. I was upset at the fire as well. But I wasn’t overly attached to anything I’d had in my room - it was all either unimportant or replaceable. For Cathleen, it was different. 

As I was wondering what we would do, she let out a swear. “Tyler’s letting me stay with him for the next few nights - they have an open room, but he said they only have room for one.”

“Kara can stay with me, if she wants.”

We both looked up, startled.

Jeremy stood only a few feet away, looking solemn with a small, supposedly helpful smile on his face. 

I stared at him warily.  How convenient. But I glanced at Cathleen again. I was fully aware that she would abandon a warm bed to sleep in a car with me - which was my only option, since I was penniless and unable to afford a motel room for even one night. 

I looked at Cathleen, forcing a reluctant smile. “Go stay with Tyler, I’ll stay at Jeremy’s.”

“You sure?”

I nodded. “We have to take what we can get. We can come back tomorrow afternoon and see how bad the damage is.”

“Alright. Well, I’m going to head over there then. Let me know if you need anything. Call me.”

I nodded, handing her keys over, and watched her leave. 

When her car disappeared at the end of the street, I followed Jeremy back to the Jeep. When he held the passenger side door open for me, I realized that Trevor and Vanessa were no longer present. Had he sent them away?

I climbed in and buckled before losing myself in my thoughts. As Jeremy drove, I watched him from the corner of my eyes. How coincidental was it that just as he threatened to force me to come stay with him, my apartment caught fire. 

I knew it sounded crazy… but then again, so did the whole idea of werewolves existing. So if werewolves were real, how could anything be far fetched.

We were back at the pack house. The sun was setting on the horizon, and on any other day, I would have appreciated the view of the darkening sky and the waves. But I numbly followed Jeremy inside, only barely aware of the fact I didn’t notice anyone around. Jeremy led me to the third story and down a small hallway with only a handful of doors. He went to the door at the very end of the hall and opened it.  

I froze before going inside. This was a much different room than the one I’d been in previously. It was huge. The walls were a dull, dark blue. Most of the gray wood floors were covered in a soft, white rug. The bed was against the far wall beneath a pair of sky lights on a slanted ceiling. It was topped with several pillows in hues of blue and gray, matching navy blue comforter. All of the furniture was dark cedar. There were clothes and books and random belongings strewn on top of the dresser. The walls on the left and right were lined with shelves and filled with several books. There was a sitting area, complete with leather armchairs and a coffee table, to the right of the door, and the entryway into what must have been a dressing area and bathroom to the left. 

Jeremy pulled me inside gently and closed the door as I took in my surroundings. 

“Is this your room?” I finally asked him. 

He looked around quizzically before looking back at me. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t you let me stay in the room I stayed in before?” I asked him, staring around warily. I spotted a spiral staircase on the other side of the sitting area, leading up to a small loft overhead. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jeremy chuckled, pulling me into his arms. 

My shoulders tensed up as he crushed me in his embrace. As much as I tried to resist, I was overwhelmed by the scent of his body soap and eventually relaxed. After a few moments, I pushed him away a bit. 

“Why is it ridiculous?”

His eyes narrowed a bit as he thought it over. “All the other rooms are full,” he finally said, giving a shrug. 

As many rooms as I’d spotted on my first day here, I highly doubted that. But I didn’t argue. 

“Why don’t you get changed? I’ll run down to the kitchen and bring up something for us to eat in case you get hungry.”

I nodded numbly, and started over toward the bathroom. 

“I had some clothes brought up for you - they were put in the closet.”

WIth that, Jeremy disappeared. I made my way through the bathroom and into the closet, where I froze. The closet was huge, but Jeremy didn’t have that many clothes. They took up all of half a wall. What took up quite a bit of space were the clothes on the opposite wall. The shelves were completely filled with women’s clothes - all conveniently my size too. There were all kinds of styles. 

I opened the drawers beneath the racks and felt my eyebrows disappear into my hairline. There were even panties and bras in a wide range of styles from basic to sexy. I took a pair of black jogger pants and a plain, but soft black shirt. 

He sure seemed oddly prepared. Maybe he really did set that fire.

I changed clothes quickly, dropping my dirty clothes into the newer looking, empty hamper which was also on “my side of the closet.” When I emerged from the bathroom, I walked around the bedroom, pulling my hair into a high ponytail. It was hard to maintain my skepticism because his room smelled like him. Like sage and sandalwood - like the woods after a spring rain and the ocean on a summer day all at once.

I sank into one of the armchairs in the sitting area, waiting patiently. Jeremy didn’t keep me waiting for long. He came in and placed a bowl of steaming soup on the coffee table in front of me. I stared down at the bits of chicken and star shaped pasta hesitantly before looking to meet him in the eyes. 

“So there were a lot of clothes in there and stuff… you were oddly prepared.”

His eyes widened in response as I scooped up

“Really? Are you insinuating that I had something to do with your fire?”

I scowled at him. “Well you did say you would make me come back with you.”

“Yes,” Jeremy relented, “But I meant throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you back kicking and screaming. Not by committing arson. The clothes and all were already prepared after the first night we met.”

I had another comeback at the tip of my tongue when a thought suddenly crossed my mind. I sat up quickly, digging my phone out of my pocket, as Jeremy watched on in mild confusion. I unlocked the phone and quickly found my doctor in the contacts. I stood up and walked away from Jeremy, across the room, and to the large bay window on the other side of the bed. After a few rings, the call connected.

“This is Dr. Peggy Gates.”

“Dr. Gates,” I began in a quiet voice, uneasily aware of Jeremy who was undoubtedly eavesdropping. “This is Kara.”

“Hello Kara, is there something I can help you with?”

“Yes, I was hoping you could call in an emergency refill for me to the pharmacy? I know I just refilled last week, but there was a fire at my apartment, and I have lost that refill.”

“A fire? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I wasn’t home and… I’m staying with a friend for the time being.”

“I see, I’m glad to hear you are okay. I’ll send in an order right away, it should be ready first thing in the morning.”

I froze, looking at my watch. It was indeed late. Perhaps one missed dose wouldn’t hurt much. “Thank you,” I finally replied into the phone.

“You are very welcome, dear. I hope everything works out with the fire.”

“Thank you,” I replied again, and was about to end the call when she stopped me. 

“Oh, Kara?”

“Yes?”

“Your mother called me the other day to check on you. Of course, I’m unable to provide her with anything useful. You should give her a call, I think she’s worried about you.”

I huffed quietly. “Sure thing Dr. Gates, thank you again.”

She disconnected the call, and I lowered the phone, staring as the screen went black. After a moment’s thought, I tucked it into my pocket, and turned around only to come face to chest with Jeremy, who had been standing right behind me.

“You need your medicine?” he asked, as though he hadn’t just heard the whole conversation. 

I nodded and looked up to watch Jeremy's expression. He knew so much about me - I wondered if he knew about the medication. And if he didn't, why hadn't he asked what it was for? Somehow, I could tell just by looking at him. He had no idea, and it was killing him. But for some reason, he hadn't asked. Maybe he didn't want to know - maybe he was thinking the worst.

I scoffed quietly, and moved to go around him. He turned and watched me walk back toward the soup.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"It's killing you, not knowing, isn't it?" I plopped down into the chair, wrapping my hands around the bowl of soup.

He scowled, but... "What makes you think I don't know?"

"Because knowing the answer would lead to ten more questions. And you haven't asked any of those questions."

He arched one eyebrow as I took an angry gulp of the room temperature soup. 

"What kind of questions?"

I lowered the bowl, peering at him over my shoulder before turning away from him. "You know everything about me. Why don't we let me keep this one secret."

He had crossed the room without me hearing, and I managed not to drop the bowl of soup when he was suddenly right behind my shoulder. He didn't say anything, he just seemed to be hesitating. I drained about half of the soup, kicking my feet thoughtfully as he dealt with his internal struggle. It was after a long stretch of silence when he finally asked:

"Are you dying?"

My eyebrows disappeared into my hairline and I tilted my head back on the headrest to look at him. His eyes seemed to be searching mine, and my answer came out a whisper. "No, nothing like that."

His hand landed on the top of my head but said nothing else. I gave it a moment, then frowned lightly. "You're really not going to ask what it is anymore?"

He stroked my hair silently before answering. "No... as long as it's not something that's killing you, you can have this secret."

I felt a heavy weight lift off my chest at this. It had been one of the greatest worries on my mind since I'd met Jeremy. So what if it was just because he didn't want to know? As long as I didn't have to admit to this demigod that my mind was broken, I could breathe freely. As long as he didn't know, and as long as I continued to take my medication, he wouldn't leave me... not for that reason. 

I quickly finished the soup in the bowl, and looked around the room, appreciating how cozy it looked with only the dim lamp. I didn’t want to admit how much I liked it. 

"Do you have to work again tomorrow?" Jeremy asked, still standing just behind me. 

I shrugged my shoulders, humming in response. I felt a warm kiss land on my head before he spoke again. "I've got to go take care of a few things. I'll let you go to sleep if you're ready. Make yourself at home - watch tv if you want to."

"Alright."

I watched Jeremy leave and sat in the chair for a while afterward, before making my way to the bed. I pulled back the comforter and sank into the bed. I let out a sigh instinctively as my body sank. Foam? Pillow top? It was incredibly soft and I would never admit it - at least not right then, but I didn't ever want to sleep in another bed again. It didn't hurt that the smell surrounding me conjured up the sensation of Jeremy's arms around my shoulders.

“Look at me, you stupid bitch.”