Rejected, But Survived.

Chapter 3

3.

Rue's POV:

As my eyes fluttered open, raindrops splashed against my face, mingling with the dirt that surrounded me. Weakness consumed my body, leaving me feeling utterly powerless. I surveyed my surroundings, and the empty training field greeted me, just as desolate as it had been earlier in the evening. The memories of Riley's rejection resurfaced, but this time, the shock had faded, replaced by a lingering ache.

Hours must have passed while I was unconscious, for the darkness enveloped me. Yet, my eyes quickly adjusted to the encroaching shadows, adapting to the gloom that now enveloped my surroundings.

To think that I still lay here, drenched, covered in filth. It was a painful reminder that I had no one on my side, no one who cared whether I was okay or not. I had harbored a glimmer of hope that Riley, at the very least, would shield me from the pouring rain and find me some form of shelter, no matter how modest or shattered. Perhaps even a warm blanket to ward off the cold. But nothing. I remained here, depleted, dirty, and shivering.

No family, no friends, not even a worthy adversary. I had heard that enemies are born out of jealousy, rooted in the desire to possess the greatness they see in another, even if it means hating them for it. But such things were not meant for someone like me. I had nothing to elicit envy, no greatness to inspire theft. Maybe if I did, the hatred directed towards me would make me feel like a human being, as if I belonged somewhere. Instead, I felt like nothing more than discarded refuse.

I hoisted myself up from the muddy ground, allowing the rain to cleanse the dirt from my body. I stood there, cold and utterly devoid of any destination or anticipation of warmth.

If only I hadn't been abandoned by my parents and family as a child, perhaps I wouldn't be consumed by such overwhelming pain. Maybe I would be satiating my hunger with plentiful food and wine, surrounded by the love I had longed for.

I knew I had been abandoned to die out here, left with no other options. I couldn't return to the pack due to my overwhelming shame. If Riley or any of the people I had assisted with cooking, caring for their babies, or tending to their laundry truly wanted me back, they would have found me in the rain by now and carried me to safety. After all, news of the rejected mate would have surely spread like wildfire. So why bother going back? I had never truly belonged there anyway. If I were to leave the pack, I would become a rogue wolf in no time. With my limited power and skills, I would be defenseless against rogue hunters who would surely end my life. To them, my lack of family within the pack would signify banishment for a grave offense, and it would be even more disgraceful if my lifeless body were to be returned here, with no one to claim me.

I should be the one to decide how I exit this world. The raindrops hitting the ground and my body were almost deafening. I screamed, releasing my anguish into the void. I yearned to alleviate the heaviness in my heart, to let it melt away. Collapsing onto the ground once more, I wept, surrendering to my fate, momentarily forgetting that my already half-clean dress was becoming soiled once again. If this was to be the end of my life, I would prefer to meet it on my own terms. Yes, it may seem foolish, but I would choose it a thousand times over the fate that awaited me in the hands of the rogue hunters.

I propelled myself forward, my legs straining under the weight of my despair. It was futile to concern myself with my appearance. None of it would matter in the fleeting moments before I departed this world—free from loneliness, pain, shame, and lovelessness.

I trudged on, determined to reach my final destination, the place where it would all culminate. It was a serene lake located outside the pack, a spot where I often sought solace and found fleeting moments of happiness amidst nature's embrace. Hope Lake, as it was aptly named, held significance for me. It was there that I chose to bid farewell. If someone were to discover my reasoning later, it would all make sense.

Throughout my journey to the lake, my mind desperately grasped at reasons to stay alive, to reconsider my decision, and find a purpose worth living for. Just one reason that could ignite a flicker of hope within me. But no matter how much I scoured my thoughts, I found nothing. Absolutely nothing was worth it.

Finally, I reached the lake and settled on a small rock by its edge. The rain had left its mark on the lake's surface, mirroring the turmoil within me. Yet, unlike me, the lake was replenished, constantly renewed. It grew fuller with each passing drop, while I felt emptier with every passing moment. I sat there, absorbing the beauty of the scene for one last time, allowing tears to flow freely, aware that after today, I would no longer be able to savor any of these simple pleasures.

If only the lake could communicate if only the rock could provide me with warmth and solace. Perhaps then, there would be no need for my departure. But none of it mattered if these elements couldn't fill my heart with warmth anymore.

Standing up from the rock, I made my way toward the lake's edge, seeking an easier path into its depths. The rain had ceased, and my surroundings were now visible in the dim light. No one was around, which was both a relief and perhaps the best outcome. I didn't want anyone to witness the act of ending my own life. Besides, at this late hour, no one in their right mind would be out in the rain.

I refused to dwell on it any longer, determined to take action. However, just as I prepared to embrace the depths and darkness of the lake, a loud voice called out to me. The words were unintelligible, but I recognized it as a human voice. Yet, in that moment, none of it mattered. I was already descending into the abyss, ready to be forgotten forever.