Your lie that night

Chapter 16

Saurav wrapped his hand on my waist and took me toward the exit, but Shreyan and my eyes were interlocked with each other, in his eyes, regret was seen while in mine pain, and disappointment. He couldn't utter a word just lifted his hand toward me, and I went outside with Saurav. My throat was blocking a huge scream of agony and my eyes were controlling the tears which were already on its threshold. Saurav despite scolding me takes me with him to his room, which was at the end of the hallway and evacuated from others. I was there for the first time but still, I was subconscious about all of that. He made me sit on his sofa and kneeled down in front of me, as he always used to do.

'Now you can cry your heart out', he said looking at me with his soothing eyes, I was confused about his behavior instead of scolding me for what I did he was with me.

'Why? Why are you so nice to me? Why?', I screamed

'You must be devastated by the fact that your encounter with him didn't go well even after meeting him after 3 months'

'What are you saying?'

'I know he is the father of your child and believe me, I understand you and your condition. So you can lean onto me. Share everything that comes into your mind. Cry in my shoulder. I am always with you'

I was devastated by the fact that he knew everything, I was shocked and everything he did for me was that because I was carrying Shreyan's child?

'How? When? for how long have you??', I stammered

'Cool down, it's a long story, after seeing your condition on the engagement and the fact that you were pregnant. I did a little history check of Shreyan and found out he was on your house the whole lockdown'

'Oh my god! oh my god!', I freaked out I never thought it will turn out like that, tears which I controlled earlier were bursting out from my eyes, the scream which I was holding up was coming out as a roar. I pushed my face against my palm and tried to control myself, but my heart was saying, 'let me cry'

The Shreyan who was my imaginary boyfriend for almost 7 years wasn't the Shreyan I heard yelling today. He was a demon, he was the worst type of man I ever imagined. Hearing me screaming Saurav came and wrapped me in his arm. 'I am sorry, I never should have enrolled you as his server. I am sorry I thought you two can sort out the problem.'

'I don't know what to do now. Where my life is taking me?', I kept on crying

'Cry, cry your heart out so you will never cry again for the same thing', he just kept on giving me shoulder and I leaned onto him. That took a long, that was a long cry, I wanted to get over Shreyan and that time I was crying to get over him.

I may have slept on Saurav's shoulder when I woke up in the morning I was still on his bed. I didn't notice it the previous day but that room was quite big and full of jolly. My eyes felt heavy I went to a nearby mirror, it was swollen almost covering my actual eye. it was looking horrible, I went to the kitchen and washed my face on the basin maybe Saurav was at the bathroom the door was locked from inside. There was only one bed I wondered where he slept if I slept on the bed. The washroom door opens and Saurav comes outside, wrapping a towel on his waist, the rest of his part was naked. I turned around closing my eyes seeing him on that avatar. 'I am sorry, I am not used to having ladies here', said he feeling embarrassed. He grabbed his cloth and wears them when I kept my eyes closed with my hands. I never saw Saurav in that way but still, that felt cute, the way he jumped when he saw me, the way he was asking for the apology he was so unlike Shreyan, he almost came and kissed me when I saw him on that avatar for the first time.

'You can open your eyes now', he shouted when I turned for him

'Coffee?', he asked

'Yes', There was an attached kitchen on the corner with everything that was needed to make any food. His way of handling kitchen tools, and the way he stirred the glass of milk, that was so unlike Shreyan, if he was there he would have asked me to help him. He gave me the glass of Coffee and sat on the chair opposite to me, telling me to take care of my child, 'too much crying, overthinking is harmful to the baby', he was saying. If Shreyan was there he would have only talked about s*x and romance but the baby.

Wait? What was happening to me? Why was I even comparing Shreyan with Saurav, now when I look at Saurav I don’t see a manager there I see a guy who helped me in my miseries and help me tackle with the problems that came in between? But still, why was I comparing him. He kept on talking and the only thing I kept on looking at was his eyes, how innocent were they? so unlike Shreyan's whose was, Wait? why was I comparing again?

'Katy, your coffee is done?', he asked putting his on the table

'Yes,'

'I have some plans today, so I will be gone for the day. You keep on doing the job which you used to do before you know I assigned for Shreyan'

'I understand. But where are you going?'

'It's a secret between Leiya and me'

'Leiya, is she going too?'

'yes, didn't she tell you?'

'I haven’t seen her since yesterday', I said walking up to the door. Saurav walked with me to the section. He was right Leiya was going somewhere. She was wearing a great suit and was looking extremely beautiful.

'Where were you last night? I was so worried about you', she shouted as soon as she saw me, I was expecting that anyway

'Something came up urgent, I am sorry you were worried because of me'

'It's okay, take care of your baby and yourself, I will be coming late', she hugged me and went away with Saurav. I couldn't help but notice how happy they were talking to each other. Leiya was keeping her hand on Saurav's arm and he seemed to like that. There was nothing upsetting but still, I was upset seeing them together. Maybe I am still not over Shreyan, I tried to change my mind but again I couldn't help myself from thinking about what must be they doing together. My eyes were reaching to the entrance again and again but they weren't there not even after the clock hit 5 pm.

'Were Saurav and Leiya close from before?', I asked Samu when we were cleaning the library

'Yeah, they are quite close. I am here for 2 years now but when something comes up in our section Leiya always goes for him and he always helps her without even asking why she was doing it'

'I mean, do they used to go out before too'

'Yeah, sometimes'

The answer increased my dilemma and I couldn't control myself more. Despite working I was walking to and fro here and there waiting for them. What was happening to me? Why was I so worried about them? Leiya was my best friend and I always wanted her to be happy and on the other hand Saurav, he always thought about others above him and I wanted him to be with someone who would keep him above everything but still why was I having problems. Thankfully they came before I get nuts,

'Where were you the whole day?', I screamed as soon as they entered the palace.

'We had something to do', Leiya wasn't clearly telling about that which create more suspicion in my heart. But why?

Saurav smiled his soothing smile at me and went to his room, as it was already late at night almost time for dinner and Leiya went inside to change her clothes

'Are you really not going to tell me, where were you the whole day?', I asked again

'Why are you behaving like this?'

'I don't know, maybe it’s a mood swing I am getting from hormonal changes, but I need to know'

She went silent for a minute, 'We went to my.. my husband's cemetery. He died 5 years ago on this date', she whispered

The whole suspicion erased away with regrets that I forced her to tell that. It was not only the day when her husband died but the day when her son died too. Her swollen eyes were saying how much she must have cried the whole day. I can't believe I suspect them. I went toward her and wrapped him in my arm, 'You are strong Leiya, very strong', I said soothing her.

That day when we were in bed ready to sleep, I remembered Saurav telling me about her sleeping medicines and nightmares, from that day I began to notice everything the bottle of medicines on her pillow was not a vitamin but was sleeping pills, and her moan on her dreams wasn't snore but was pain which was bulging out.

'Leiya', I whispered in that dark cold  silent night

'Hmm'

'I can't sleep'

'Why?'

'I am afraid. Can I sleep with you today?'

'okay, come', said she leaving some room for me on her right. I went to her due to my belly, it was hard for two of us to sleep on a single bed, still she didn't complain once.

'Okay now tell me what are you thinking that you can't sleep', she whispered turning by my side

'Nothing, it's just I was thinking it was so nice of Saurav to take you to the cemetery. What manager in the world involves in slave's matter'

'That is the beauty of our Saurav. He always puts the life of ours above his. Looking at his face, the wish to love again, wish to have faith in life, the wish to trust again, and wish to float our feelings generates again. He is the only thing that is keeping me stronger. He is my godfather, my manager, my caretaker, and my best friend'

'Listening to you, it feels you are in love with him', I chuckled wishing I was interpreting wrong about that

'I don't know, what it is? but yeah it is different than I used to have with my husband still purer than before. There are no expectations, no desire but feelings.'

'Still is it love?', I asked again I wanted to be clear about that

'I think, yes. But not the one which has to be both sides. I am happy when he is around me'

'What if he also had same feelings for you'

'I don't know, I would freak out if that happens. Because I have tasted the very bitter taste of relationship and marriage trust me'

'I believe you I said and embracing her hand which was on my chest. My heartfelt like if it was squeezed. Everything Leiya said she was feeling I was feeling that too. But still, Shreyan's feeling was hurting me. Was that possible, to develop feelings for someone while not getting over from the other? When did I started having that feeling with Saurav, was it yesterday when I cried because of Shreyan's word arrow, or was it the day when he took me to market to buy my parents a gift? Besides everything I was getting to that night the one thing I was sure of was to eliminate the starting light of hope which Saurav was giving me. I didn't have right on him, Leiya deserved him after all the miseries she had. Thinking of that tears were dropping out of my eyes. This heart which I thought can never be able to love again forgetting everything that happened before it tried to fall in that cave again.