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Life is changing quickly for me now. Each evening I am taken to a ball, a meeting or a party. Each evening I am dressed up and on Calder’s arm. He dances with me towards the end of every night. He ensures I eat and he only ever leaves me, if the company surrounding me is to my liking, and I want to continue to talk to them. It’s good. It works but it’s not amazing. He has kissed my cheek, my hand, my temple but never my lips. I’m not ready for that. I don’t know when or if I will be and that scares me. He assumes it’s from being the doll. We spoke about what happened and he apologised for not rescuing me sooner. I tried not to take that too seriously. I tried to pretend he was just apologising casually, the way you say sorry when someone has died but it had nothing to do with you. The th
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