Married to the Rogue

Chapter 1: Plan

|Cassandra|

It’s been hours since I was debating with myself whether I should really do this or not. It’s been hours ever since I felt this terrified and just by thinking the outcome of this insane plan. It’s been hours and yet here I am...still quivering in anxiety and apprehension. I am not even sure whether anything I would do a few minutes later won’t backfire.

Argh! I run my fingers through my hair and pulled some strands at the thought. It was like I was going to throw up my own guts with so much trepidation! Just thinking about his reaction when he found out what I was up to made my knees wobble and made me reconsider abandoning my plan!

Damn. But now that I'm already here, I have already freshened up myself, do I still have to back out?

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. My throat seems to run dry simply by thinking about what would happen if the plan had to be carried out. Is it still necessary for me to do this?

But I was almost startled in my place when I heard the main door of the house open and close. And it guarantees just one thing. My husband is already here!

I hurriedly exited the bathroom and glanced up at the clock above the doorway. It's still a quarter after eight o'clock. He typically gets home approximately nine o'clock in the evening, so why did he have to go home earlier than usual?!

I was literally in a state of panic. I was pacing back and forth, biting my nails as I tried to think of what I should do next. I groaned silently when I almost forgot about the plan! I stopped in my tracks and swiftly let out a deep sigh before worry took over my head.

Calm the f*****g down, Cassandra! This was not the first time that something intimate happened between you and your husband! Do not act like you’re some…innocent virgin! I told to myself.

But....but that was almost a year ago!

I hurriedly make my way back into the bathroom. I rapidly shut the door and leaned my back against it. My hand instantly flew to my chest as I feel my heart pounding furiously inside my chest. Then I walked over to the sink and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

I was sweating cold despite the fact that I was barely wearing this revealing garment. The soft fabric of satin made my skin more sensitive. Anyone could notice how short it is since the hem is about four inches below my pelvis. The deep v-neck neckline molded my bossom perfectly, showing how perfect my chest is. And as I continue to look at myself in the mirror, I guess I could entice anybody. But the question was, could this piece of cloth seduce my husband?

I shuddered once again when I heard a series of footsteps. The entire house was too quiet that you could hear noises on every corner of the house even I am locked here inside the bathroom. We have no neighbors. We might have some, but it could take you approximately a five-minute walk to go to the closest residence!

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. I won’t back out! This is something I must do!

And it seems that my heart stopped when I heard our bedroom door open and close. I froze in my place as I tried to calm my heart. My mind is having this thought that I can still withdraw and retreat to this stupid idea. I still have a chance to change my mind. But then, something also inside me is pushing me to do it now. Because if I let this chance pass, everything I have done and pleaded just to be with him will be put to waste!

Almost a half-year had passed, and for each passing days, weeks, and months, my husband didn’t even dare on looking and touching me!

Damn! It’s not that I am in need of finding a physical relationship, but this is the only way I could think of getting my husband’s attention! I didn’t know that I was able to get out of my comfort zone just for this man! I’ve never been this bold and daring! I was only doing this so he could finally see me!

I inhaled a deep breath once again. Then I put my hand on my chest, feeling the fast beat of my heart. I am wishing that this plan of mine would finally succeed. I’ve done embarrassing and insane ways to get his attention. And this…is the last and my wild card! And if this fails…I don’t even know what to do anymore. Maybe I’ll just accept the fact that…my husband won’t even give me a bit of his love.

I turned around and faced the bathroom door. Taking a series of deep breaths to somehow soothe me was a big help. And I think I will be needing those in order to continue.

My hands trembled as I reach the doorknob and twisted it to open. And when I pulled the door open, the first thing that greeted my sight was my husband, lying on the mattress on his back and his eyes were shut tight. I tiptoed my way near him. And I could see in his expression how tired he is.

I stared at him for a few seconds. Well, it became a hobby of mine every time I knew he was in this state or he was in his deep slumber. I quietly sat down on the bed. The hem of my nightdress rose a bit. But my concern was when the mattress dips a bit and I braced myself if that small movement interrupted my husband’s nap. My shoulder relaxed when he didn’t even flinch a bit.

I continued staring at his face. His square jaw with a trace of stubbles made him look so raw, dark, and ruthless. His thick brows and lashes added the characteristic to his grim aura. It hasn’t been a year since we didn’t see each other. But even so, I knew behind those physical appearances lies his contrast behavior. I knew all of his flaws, even years had already passed; this man is whom I fell in love with. And it seems like everything just happened yesterday.

A bitter smile formed on my lips when memories flashed into my mind. But before it could haunt me, I force to erase it and remember the reason why I am in front of my husband, dressed in a little piece of cloth.

I wonder if I made him really fall in love with me, would he still leave me when he found out his true love came back?

But who am I kidding anyway? Even he was married to me, even we have our own house, our own life, I still wouldn’t be the person who owned his heart. Maybe I have a space on his heart, but the rest was to her. It was always her.

It was always Maria.

I sour smile wounded my lips. If I could bring back the time and change one thing? Maybe I should have stopped him from leaving; maybe I should have insisted his stay in the palace and used my rights as her wife. But then…will he still value my wants and rights? I know the moment I did that…he would only hate me…for sure.

I bet not.

We’re talking about Maria. She would be always his first priority.

My heart stung at that fact. She was my insecurity against him. She will always be.

I quickly removed that thought from my mind. Time to focus on reality.

His exhausted face is somehow telling me he needed to rest. And I suddenly wondered if I should still continue on executing my plans. Tomorrow will be his day off. His only, day-off. I bit my lower lip and suddenly felt guilty if I interrupted his sleep and rest this night, that would be so…so rude of me, don’t you think? He barely had rest. And he quickly fell asleep especially when he’s really exhausted.

I sighed. He’s still in his white suit, dark pants, and his legs were hanging on the floor and he’s still wearing his leather shoes. I looked at myself and realized that maybe...this is not the right time to carry out my plan?

I smiled when I realized he was sleeping soundly.

This man...he was the man that I wanted to marry since I first met him. But he feels the opposite. He barely gives me attention, and he would always tell me he only sees me as his sister. He never wanted me. And maybe…if it wasn’t for my birthrights, he would never glance in my way and he would never agree to marry me.

This man...he was the man that I wanted to marry since I first met him. I lifted my hand to caress his soft hair. I decided to abort the mission I was planning. I’ll just…think of other ways that are better than this. I knew all along that this idea is ridiculous.

But it seems that caressing his hair was a mistake. He suddenly opened the lids of his eyes and his deep red eyes, hooded with thick lashes, immediately met mine. I froze in my seat, and the only thing that I could do was to calm my heart pounding inside my chest because of shock.

“What are you doing?” he asked, using his raspy and deep voice. I swallowed hard and bit my lower lip before I found myself responding to him.

“I-I...u-uh...”

Damn. I couldn’t seem to formulate the words I should make as an excuse. I brace myself when he got up from bed. He quickly held his head, maybe suddenly feeling dizzy, the aftermath of what he did.

“I...I-I was trying to wake you up f-for you to change,” I said as an excuse. He looked back at me and the first thing that I noticed is how his eye color went back to the original. His deep blue eyes stared back to mine. And as much as I want to look away, I knew I will always be drawn to him. It was like staring back at him a little longer was a default to my system and I am having trouble optimizing it.

But my husband’s eyes flicker down to my body. His one brow shot up, before he looked back at me. The intensity of his gaze made me look away. I swallowed hard when I realized that he probably looked at the cloth I was wearing. I confirmed my hunch when I heard him scoff and stood from the bed.

“Tss.”

He went straight inside the walk-in closet of the master’s bedroom. I sighed when I realized he’ll probably retire for the night. But then I saw how irritated he was as he loosens his necktie. He was trying to untie it as he finds some sleeping clothes. I stood from the bed and went inside the closet to help him.

“Let me,” I offered when I finally arrived in front of him. And I didn’t dare throw him a look. But I could feel his stares piercing into my skin as I reached for his tie and started to untie it. I thought he’ll complain about what I did since he usually does that. That’s why; I was a bit shocked when he stayed silent.

I don’t know why but I find it amusing knowing that my husband couldn’t tie and undo his own necktie. I always do that for him. And as much as he wanted to do it alone, he would always snap the fabric into two before he could even untie it.

I swallowed hard when our distance suddenly registered into my mind. I could feel the warmth of his body even though we’re inches apart. His ragged breathing made my knees tremble. And I could feel, once again, his gaze scanning me from head to toe.

Damn! I should have changed right away after this!

“I hope you’re not feeling cold in your condition, Cassandra,” he pointed out. I automatically lifted my head to look at him. But what quickly took my attention was his ears and neck that were now getting reddish. I suddenly became wary. With the years I’ve known him; I almost know every bit of his actions or reaction.

If ever saw him being like this…getting red from her neck to his ears, it’s either he’s in heat or he’s irritated. And the latter was automatically the reason why he was suddenly getting red. The first one is too impossible for him to feel for me.

“You don’t need to be annoyed with me. This will be quick,” I said as I was still untying his necktie. He remained silent and averted his eyes to me.

After a few seconds, I was done with it. He started to unbutton his long sleeves but he never ever undresses in front of me. And I know the reason why. My heartbeat was fast then directed my attention in getting and arranging the clothes he’ll use for tonight. And then he left me standing in front of the closet and went inside the door connecting the bathroom.

I smiled bitterly. He’ll act and behave like that whenever he wanted to ignore me.

I run my tongue over my lips and my attention went back to his clothes folded neatly on the shelves. I pulled out a pair of his pajamas and put in on the table in the middle of the walk-in closet. My fingers caressed the fabric as I daze in it.

“When will you finally look into my way?” I whispered to myself absentmindedly.

I exhaled deeply when I realize that this plan is not working against him. I shifted from my position and turned at the ceiling-to-floor mirror on my right side. I approached it till I could clearly see my reflection.

How many times did I scrub my body in preparation for my plan? I even bathed myself in fresh milk and shaved my hair! But well, if a man doesn’t want and desire you, even if you get n***d in front of him…he won’t ever dare touch you.

I sighed in disappointment and decided to change my cloth. And when I was done…I throw the dress with umbrage into the laundry bin.

I walk out of the closet then walk toward the king-size bed. I think the only pro in this marriage is that my husband and I sleep in the same room.

I waited for him until he was done having his shower. It took about half an hour before he finally went out of the walk-in closet, dressed in the robe I chose for him. I smiled inwardly. Even he ignores my attempt to seduce him, at least he notices the little things I do for him.

“Have you eaten your dinner?” I asked as he approached near the vanity table, drying his hair with a towel.

“Yes,” he shortly answered.

A pang of pain assaulted my chest but I quickly controlled and put it behind me. Then I fix our pillows and quilt before I finally lay down on the mattress.

Well, we barely eat together. And I could recall the times we did by only counting with my fingers. If he was not busy at work, he’ll notify me ahead and that’s when the time I’ll cook dinner for us and wait for him to come home.

I closed my eyes as I hold the quilt tightly, finding some momentum that sleepiness would finally visit me. I tried to shut down the thought in my mind about the plan I was supposed to do. But I couldn’t, especially that my husband is still awake. I got used to letting him fall into slumber before me.

I waited for about ten minutes before I felt the bed move. And another ten minutes before I finally decided to shift on my position to face him. I gradually opened the lids of my eyes, peeking if my husband’s already asleep or not. But when I saw his eyes closed and hear his even breathing, I knew already that he’s sleeping peacefully. I let another 20 minutes pass to ensure he was really sleeping.

I opened my eyes without worrying that he’ll catch me. He’s lying on his stomach, a favorite position of his when sleeping. Then I started to wander my eyes on the details of his face. It’s a hobby of mine whenever he was already asleep. I enjoyed looking at his thick brows, pointed nose, and perfect-shape red lips. I gently lifted the upper part of my body and use my elbow and arm as a support to my weight. Then with the confidence that my husband is soundly sleeping, I leaned my face closer to his, and then pressed my lips against his.

Yeah, every night, I would steal a kiss from him. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? He’s my husband. And, one kiss every night was enough for me. A swift kiss is enough. But somehow, my lips lasted on his lips for about a few more seconds.

And when I decided to pull away, my body flinched when I felt a hand snaking on my waist, moving me on top of him. My hand automatically pressed against his chest as support.

My eyes widen in shock and saw my husband’s expression. His brows were in a deep furrow like he was in pain. I was about to break the kiss but I halted when my husband responded ferociously. His tongue forced its entrance inside my mouth. A sound, I didn’t know existed, escaped my lips. And his hand started to rub my waist, down to my legs. The fabric of my cloth suddenly felt rough against my skin.

“Leon...” I moaned when his kisses went down from my lips to my jaw.

A familiar heat immediately ignited within me. My hands wrapped around his neck as I close my eyes shut. And my rational thoughts were surmounted with heat and l**t.

Damn.

I thought I’m not pursuing this plan?

“Leon,” I moaned his name again.

But he quickly changes our position. Now, I am lying on the bed and he’s on top of me. I bit my lower lip when our kiss broke because of that. Now, his deep blue eyes are locked into my mine. It blazes in red for a few seconds, before it flickers back to its original color. I swallowed hard and bit my lower lip as I looked away. He leaned down until I could feel his hot breath fanning on my left ear.

“You could have asked me that you wanted a goodnight kiss, wife. I can give it to you, you know? No need to secretly steal it every night,” he said and chuckled.

And my blood seemed to rush from the tip to my toe up to my cheeks and neck. My heart pounded erratically as I looked back at him with embarrassment. And the grin on his lips widen when he saw my reaction.

But then, his expression instantly changes from playful to something warm. His eyes glance at my lips. I was holding my breath until I saw him dipping down his. My eyes automatically flutter close and his soft lips pressed to mine.

The flush I was feeling heightened. And I didn’t know why but his kiss… I felt it means something. But it ended quickly and I saw myself holding his shirt with both hands like I was holding my dear life to him. I instantly let go of his shirt and averted my eyes.

Damn! He’s teasing me!

I heard his deep chuckle once again until I felt his soft lips on my forehead. My heart skipped a beat when I realized what my husband had just done.

“Good night, my wife,” he whispered and he went back on lying beside me and then closed his eyes.

It was my turn to be left in shock, with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open. I blinked as I gaze at him falling into slumber. And my heart…I don’t even know how I could put it at ease. I didn’t know how long it lasted before I was able to calm myself down. My eyes locked into his face but didn’t dare on caressing his cheeks because I might suddenly wake him up.

I grinned when I saw how his forehead creased...even he was already asleep, his cold demeanor didn’t even fade away.

This is the man I have chosen to marry. Lazaro Eon Lancaster. He’s perfect for me. I have already forseen it the moment I met him.

I love him when he wasn’t still an Alpha.

I love him when he became an Alpha.

And I still love him even when he became a rogue.

And I pray....even it's impossible...that he would finally see me and love me back. That was my only wish in this life. To Leon finally loved me back.