Married to the Rogue

The End is just His Beginning

|Lazaro|

"... due to the mercy of the Luna of Pack Lancaster, Lazaro Eon Lancaster, the death sentence punished by the Law to you has been lifted. Rather, from this day onwards, you are now banned by the Law, being an alpha or entering as a member of any pack, in any towns of the country. You are now declared as a Rogue and as a sign of this punishment, you will receive the 'rogue mark' as evidence, that you, Lazaro Eon Lancaster, have once betrayed and put danger the packs for your own accords..."

Those are the only words that I clearly heard and remembered saying by a member of the high council. After that, it seemed I had lost my sense of hearing and everything went into silence. My mind went blank. I was taken aback when I suddenly felt a painful and hot thing pressing my back.

“Ugghhh!” I growled and endured the pain. Then again, I was lost to my world.

The next thing I knew, I was inside the dungeon where I was held captive. I tried to recall what had happened but it seems I wasn’t on myself when I was on the trial. Yet, I knew that I was spared for a reason.

I sighed deeply. I wished they just ended my life. What’s the purpose of living if all I could remember was the dark things I had done?

“Is he awake?”

I was frozen in my seat when I heard that familiar voice, coming outside my cell. A few moments later, I found Maria, staring in my direction behind the bars. She was wearing a white maternity dress and her baby bump is already evident. She was alone that I could feel the depth of anger fixated on her by their prisoners.

I stared at her gentle and beautiful face, waiting for her reaction to her surroundings, but it seems she was used to this kind of environment already.

“What the f**k are you doing here?” I hissed.

The ward opened my cell and she walked inside, ignoring what I just said. I gritted my teeth as she smiled at me when our eyes met. I sneered and instantly looked away. I am too ashamed to look into her eyes after what I’ve done to her.

“You’ll finally be free by tomorrow,” I heard her say. I clenched my fist and move a little that made the chains clanked at my sudden movement.

“You should have let me die,” I jeered.

I wasn’t myself when I was on the trial but I could still remember the reason my life was spared.

“You shouldn’t have given me mercy,” I added, glaring in her direction. “Do you trust me that much that you think I won't kill or threaten anyone once I’ll be free--“

 “I know everybody wouldn’t believe and would still judge you at what have you done, but spare me. I believed that you can change,” she said with conviction as her deep set of eyes stared at mine.  

My mouth fell open, too surprised at what she said. I just couldn’t believe that she gave out her trust so easily. She isn’t afraid that everyone might betray, and still believed and understand that everyone has their reasons and goodness in their…hearts.

My lips went grim as I stared at the woman who I had loved.

I knew there are many reasons why Maria was easily loved by anyone. But what made me desperate of her was; she was the only woman I trusted all my life; she was the only woman who had seen my truest emotions; she was the only one who had seen my worth. And those were the reasons why I desperately took her from Lucas. I was afraid that I would lose the woman who…had known the real me.

Greed for her love and jealousy for my brother.

“I violated you, I tried to kill you and your husband, I--“

“And I forgive you,” she shortly replied like she didn’t mind what had happened to her. “There was a reason why you did that, and I will understand. Greed and jealousy had consumed you but deeply regretted everything after the war,” she stopped for a few seconds before she continued. “What will I gain if you die? You’re Lucas’s brother and same as me to you. We were friends.  I already lost my twin and my parents, and I don’t also want to lose you,”

I was left speechless. Maria then gave me a slight smile and walked in my direction. She crouched and reached for my dirty hands, cuffed, and chained. My eyes gaze from her hand to mine. I clenched my jaw as my heart ached at her familiar warmth and touch.

“Please live,” she whispered. I looked back at her because of that. “I want you to live for your life, to be happy, to love again because you deserved it. If you aren’t contented with the thought of doing those, please think that it is my punishment for you,” she continued.

“Haven’t you heard the rules that I must abide by?” I said, trying to let her remember the rules that were given to me.

“So? You’re at my mercy. You aren’t following anyone’s rules but mine. And that’s my task for you for the rest of your life,” she said like it was the answer to my problem.

I sighed in disbelief. No. Even she had given me the second chance to be alive, I will follow the rules that the high council arbitrated.

“And be always safe so you could meet your future nieces,” she happily said. My eyes then looked at her baby bump before looking back at her. She smiled genuinely like she doesn’t care what had happened in the past.

And her smile was imprinted on my mind when I decided to move away.

I know we aren’t meant for each other, but my love for her made me do desperate things that cost her life and safety. And because of her mercy, she gave me a second chance to live for myself.

I loved Maria. And I don’t know if I could still find a woman that I could love the way I loved her like she wanted me to do. But I know better. Even I am at her mercy, I still needed to abide by the important rules of the Rogues. I have known that for years.

I was given another chance to atone for my sins, as my punishment. And that’s what I am planning to do until…the end of my life. 

But before anything else…I need to annul my marriage.