LOVING YOU BENEATH THE SURFACE

GO AWAY!

*KATE’S POV*

No matter how much I looked at my sister multiple times, I couldn’t believe that she was now a mother. I was just picturing how the little girl I always held in my hand and walked around the silent park with was now a mother who would be looking after her own daughter.

“Is there something on my face?” she suddenly asked, leaning closer, and I snapped out of my thoughts.

“Hmm? Nothing!” I smiled awkwardly

“You kept looking at me ever since we were eating dinner. Even at the hospital, you had this gaze on me that made me wonder what you were thinking about”, she explained, and I chuckled softly.

“I just couldn’t believe it. It is fascinating and beautiful at the same time” I responded, my lips spreading with a happy smile.

“You can’t believe that your whiny little sister is now a mother?”

I nodded slowly in confirmation. “It feels like a dream but I love it”, I responded cheerfully.

“It’s not a dream. I am now a mother. It is what I have dreamt of every day of my life and I am so happy that it has finally come true” she responded happily with teary eyes and I pulled her to myself quickly.

“Oh no! Don’t cry! It’s a thing of joy”, I consoled her as I patted her back.

“I don’t know if I am capable enough. I am not sure if I can give this pretty angel all the love she wants in this life. I sincerely don’t know if I will be a good mother” she cried in my bosom and I held her closely for a while before grabbing her cheeks at both sides with my palms.

“Look at me, Priscilla. You have been a mother to me for years, so I know that you are capable. Even when I found myself in some mess, you were there like a pillar of support. Now, this baby is your own blood, I know you will do more and prove yourself worthy. The Priscilla I know has always been a wonderful baby, sister, partner, wife and now mother. You will surely do well, I assure you” I said, looking directly into her eyes.

“I should be able to do a great job, right?” she muttered and I nodded before giving her a kiss on her cheek and that made her squeal.

“That’s gross!” she yelled, cleaning her cheeks while I laughed loudly.

“You had better cherish that, you won’t be getting it till further notice” I pouted and she rolled her eyes.

“I will make sure to fly over when you give birth too, so please get married as soon as possible” she suddenly threw at me and I just cackled.

“Wait! Don’t tell me you don’t have the intention of getting married” she questioned, leaning closer.

I just laughed and waved it off. “What do you mean get married? We are only dating now and doing things that make us happy. We don’t have any plans for getting married. None of us has ever brought up that topic”, I told her.

“What do you mean do what makes you happy? You can do all that in marriage too,” she countered.

“We are not thinking about that right now. I have to settle down at my work, venture into my dreams and sort out some other things too. I haven’t even gotten to my goals. Getting married is definitely not on my table right now”. I defended myself

“By chance, are you still feeling guilty about what happened?” she continued to question me.

“Well… I have moved past that and we never talked about it. We both paid for it in different ways and now we don’t have any reasons to be guilty anymore”, I stated cleanly and she clapped

“If you are not guilty and you have moved on with life, why are you still hesitant about moving forward? You can enjoy your moment with him and still pursue your goals. The Chris I know will support your dreams to the end, so I see no reason not to continue”, she insisted.

“We will talk about that when it’s time. There’s no reason to rush” I said and the baby cried from her cot at that moment, saving me from her scolding.

“You should feed the baby and forget about me” I quickly said, saving myself from the grilling session and snuck out of the room.

I met Chris in the sitting room and we both agreed to take a walk so the couple could have some time together. We walked along the street of their house silently for quite a while before we stopped at the garden beside the old park.

“I really missed the air in New Zealand. There’s something about this place that welcomes me” I revealed, a deep sigh following my statement.

He looked at me as he placed his hands on the rail. “Should we move back here? I can quit my job for you in Las Vegas” he said immediately,

“What do you mean by move? And why would you even quit your job at such a nice place just because I want to move? Please be realistic”, I blurted out.

He moved closer, taking my hand into his. “What do you mean by realistic? I am being serious right now. If that is what you want, then I can send in my resignation letter right now” he replied, with a smile, but I was already getting pissed off.

“Why are you not always serious about things that are dear to you? Just because I miss this place doesn’t mean I want you to drop everything and bring me here. I have my dreams and I will not stop until I fulfil them. Why should I come back to New Zealand? This place just reminds me of pains and troubles, the teeth-gnashing agony I was subjected to. I am not saying that I am innocent, but at least, I have paid for it enough”. I busted out in anger and he was taken aback.

“Yo babe! I understand you. I was just joking about moving down here. I know that you are not serious about it. Still, if there’s a chance that you are serious about it, I am ready to support that dream. Nothing matters to me more than being with you, I am fine with anywhere” he softly said, and that pissed me off the more.

“You still don’t get it and that is what is making me mad. If you are this ready to do anything and I don’t want to give anything in exchange for my dreams, that means I am the selfish one”, I spat out.

“You can remain selfish. I will be selfless to both of us” he stated calmly

How could he just say that calmly? How was he so calm while saying such a thing? He was saying something about his life and future but he didn’t even see what exactly I wanted him to see and that was extremely frustrating.

“I want to be alone” I declared and jerked off his hand from mine and walked away down the street in anger.

I honestly do not understand the reason why I was so pissed off too, but something about him ready to drop everything for me rubbed me the wrong way. He should be greedy and selfish more about his dreams, but he was always understanding of everything that had ever happened between us. During those crazy moments four years ago, he was ready to shield me till the end, even when he was crumbling and getting ruined.

“Does he think I am a weakling? Who is he to always protect me like that?” I lashed out to myself as I increased my steps in anger.

I had walked for a solid ten minutes and didn’t know that I was no longer in the street. I just kept going blindly and found myself in front of an open convenience store. It was the only store open at that time, since it was late in the night.

“How did I get here? I am not even familiar with this neighborhood” I muttered to myself and took a deep breath as I looked around to see if there would be anything helpful but found nothing.

I tried tracing my steps back but I couldn’t get the right path, I was walking in circles. At that moment, I resorted to using the map on my phone for directions but nothing was in my jacket’s pocket.

“I am doomed” I remarked as soon as I realized that I had left my cellphone at home.

“What do I do? It’s not like he will know where I went? Why did he not even follow me? Did I piss him off that much?” I kept asking myself questions only myself could answer until I was forced to take a seat in front of the store in order to regain my strength.

I was tired from all the walks and anger. Everything happening at the same time made my blood boil with anger and regret. One part of me was scolding myself for overreacting, while another part was pissed that I would be wandering in the cold without any hope. There was nobody passing to even ask for directions from.

“Looks like I will be freezing to death out here this night” I cried to myself as I sat there for almost twenty minutes and nobody showed up.

My eyes looked up to see the coffee section and the tag “We can make it warm” on the side and my heart sank once again. A warm coffee in the cold would have been better but there was nothing on me. I was penniless.

“I don’t even have any money to get something warm. What a loser I am!” I added, cleaning the side of my teary eyes as my head dropped to the table.

“I know, right? How can you leave home rebelliously without any preparation? It’s not like you are a hormonal teenager” a familiar voice suddenly said close to me and I raised my head to see Chris in front of me.

“Uhn? How come you are here?” I asked, a puzzled expression written all over my face.

“What do you mean how? I followed you here, of course. You talked quite a lot though, I had to stop myself from laughing at how cute your rants were, but it seems you don’t need me here with the look of things”, he replied and I hit him lightly

“How can you make a jest of me in this situation? I was really scared that I would be sleeping outside in the freezing weather. Do you know how terrifying that is?” I cried and he shook his head.

“I don’t know and I don’t think I’ll ever know” he responded, which made me punch him harder this time and he drew me closer.

“Why throw a fit if you were still going to cry like this? You are just a cute baby” he remarked and laughed,

“Go away!” I yelled at him and tried pushing him away but he just held me still.

“Let’s go home babe” he whispered and extended his hand, which I took shyly and a smile appeared on my face.