If We Never Tried (R-18)

Chapter 3 - Choose

I tapped the key card on his condominium unit. Hindi ko maiwasang mamangha sa nakita ko sa pagbukas ng pintuan. His unit is located at the penthouse of the tower at talaga namang nakakamangha.

The door automatically closed. Hinila ko ang luggage ko papunta sa sunken living area niya. My fireplace kahit na wala namang winter. Kulay puti ang sofa, pati na rin ang coffee table. As in his furniture and the walls were very plain, mostly white in color.

Sa kanan ko, may isang mahabang hallway iyon. Nilakad ko iyon at maraming pintuan. Even the doors were white and unconventional. Arches ang lahat ng pintuan niya.

'Wait, saan ako matutulog nito?' I asked myself.

Tumigil ako sa pinakadulong pintuan.

"I guess here?" I asked myself and opened it.

Napakalaki ng kuwartong iyon. Compared to the other furniture, may kulay ang kuwartong ito. Ang kaso nga lanag, itim naman lahat. May sariling banyo. Sa tingin ko, ito ang masters. I would settle here for tonight. Hindi naman siguro kalabisan iyon dahil hinayaan niya nga ako na pumasok rito without supervision.

I stripped my clothes. Hindi na ako kumportable sa tela dahil halos lampas isang buong araw ko na suot iyon. My skin were itchy from the Manila sweat, at medyo namumula na rin iyon. I headed for the toilet and again, it did not disappoint me.

May fresh bath towels, face towels at iba't ibang toiletries pa.

"Wow," I said while looking at the branded shampoo in my hand.

Hindi naman sa hindi ko kayang bumili ng mga ganito, my dad is rich, but still my mom wanted me to be frugal.

I opened the shower and took a warm bath. Napamura ako sa sarap na dala noon. Even the smell of his bath gel, nakakaadik. It was manly but addicting. Naeenganyo pa nga ako sa bathtub niyang kasya ang dalawa pero antok na antok na ako.

I put on a robe and went out to open my luggage and search for a sleepwear. I used a disposable toothbrush and blowdried my hair. When I felt clean and new, I targeted the bed.

Humiga ako roon. I looked at my phone. It was still in UK time, mabuti na lamang at mayroon siyang table clock. I saw that it was almost seven in the evening. Kumulo ang tiyan ko pero sa sobrang lambot ng kama niya, nahihirapan akong bumangon.

The way that I had to ask myself kung o-order pa ba ako ng pagkain o hindi na, ganoon ka-kumportable ang kama. But upon seconds of battling my hunger, the door bell rang.

Padabog akong tumayo. I peep on the hole and saw a delivery guy holding a paper bag outside. Takot na lumabas, I used the intercom to talk to him.

"Yes?" tanong ko.

"Delivery po. Chinese food po?" sabi ng delivery boy.

I licked my lower lip.

"Sorry. Pero wala po akong in-order--"

"For Mrs. Kaia Fajardo, po? Dito po sa penthouse address, eh." paliwanag ng delivery boy at kumamot pa sa ulo.

Nanliit ang mata ko. Mrs. Kaia Fajardo? Gusto kong umirap. That asshole's clearly messing with me but I am still thankful that he thought of having my food delivered dahil kung ako lang talaga matutulog na ako.

"Oh, it is me nga Kuya. How much po?" tanong ko.

"Okay na po, Ma'am. Paid na po ni Mr. Fajardo." sagot ng delivery boy.

I opened the door and got the food. Marami siyang in-order. Halos pang ilang tao ito. I will just eat the other for dinner.

Umupo ako sa harapan ng coffee table, at binuksan iyon. Naglaway agad ako sa bumungad sa akin. The Chow Mein looked appetizing at hindi nga ako nagkamali. I shamelessly opened his fridge and saw soda in can. Kumuha ako ng isa at umupo na pabalik roon.

I opened the tv to watch something. Gusto ko matawa sa sobrang pagkakumportable ko. Mabuti na lang at wala siya rito. It's like I was just staying at a hotel.

My phone rang with Lily's video call. Sinagot ko iyon at bumungad si Lily na mukhang nasa isang coffee shop roon. She was sipping coffee at agad binaba nang makita ako.

"Finally you picked up my calls. How did it go?" tanong niya.

Siya lang ay may alam na nasa Pilipinas ako. Even my parents were oblivious, I told them that I would be in some trip with my friends. With Cameron, I told him that my

dad send me here in the Philippines for our family trip.

"I've met the guy, Lils. We will talk again tomorrow." I said.

Tumango siya.

"Are you at the hotel?" she asked me.

I sighed and shook my head.

"No. I am staying at his penthouse." I answered.

Lumaki ang mga mata niya at unti-unting ngumisi na parang may naiisip siya.

"b***h, hindi ganoon!" I immediately dispersed her thoughts.

She laughed like it was hella damn funny.

"Bakit ang defensive mo? So... we both see him in pics. How was he in person? Smoking hot ba?" She teased me.

Umirap ako at uminom sa soda.

"Of course! That man is f*****g hot. I would not lie but his attitude? Nah, I can't stay married to him." I said.

She was waiting for details.

"Sobrang sungit at mukhang robot. Fuckboy rin at mayabang." I continued my rants.

Umirap si Lily sa akin.

"You easily judged him based on today's encounter? Malay mo pagod lang si hottie." She tried to counter my rants.

I gagged. Ito talang si Lily, makakita lang ng pogi.

"Nah, I just could feel it. I bet that Cameron's better. " I convinced her.

Nilunok ni Lily ang kaniyang pagkain. Ako naman sumubo ng pagkain.

"Wait, you told me that he is a fuckboy? Paano mo nasabi?" She asked me, curiously.

I told Lily what that brute did to the woman in his office. Sumabog ang tawa ni Lily at parang tuwang tuwa pa sa ginawa ng Hudson na iyon.

"Woah, hot." She smirked and pursed her lips, "'Pag na-divorced kayo...puwedeng sa akin na lang? Sa katawan pa lang niya, solve na solve ako." She giggled.

Umirap ako.

"Sa'yong sa 'yo na."

I have Cameron. He's my first and last. Kung hindi, wala naman ako rito para maayos ang gusot na ito. Nagpaalam din si Lily dahil patapos na ang lunch time niya at kailangan na niya bumalik sa work. Ako naman, nagpasiya na matulog pagkatapos maglinis. I dimmed the lights and curled up on his bed.

Hindi ko maiwasang mapatulala sa kisame.

Nasaan na kaya iyon? Hindi ba siya uuwi? Maybe, he is with that secretary? He invited him right? Bakit ko ba iniisip iyon? Wala dapat akong pakialam. Can I use it in court? Like he was cheating on me with different women, ganoon?

Nakatulog na ako sa pag-iisip ng mga ganoon. I woke up early. I prepared myself para mas maaga siyang puntahan. I ate the leftover food and went out. Hila hila ko ang maleta ko, at pumara ng taxi. I gave him the office address at pinagmasdan ang mga building sa paligid.

Pagkababa ko, binati ako ng guard. Ang receptionist naman, hindi na ako kinuwestyon. Maybe she remembered me from yesterday. Noong tinanong ko kung nandyan na ba si Hudson, sumagot lang siya na wala pa siya pero puwede na akong umakyat at sasabihan na lang niya pagdating nito.

I agreed. Mas kumportable naman talaga sa taas. Alam ko ang lokasyon ng kaniyang opisina kaya mabilis akong nakapanhik. I put my luggage in the far corner. Lumakad lakad ako sa opisina nila.

May mga certificate, plaques of recognitions doon. There's even picture from conferences where he was the speaker or something. I even saw his graduation picture from Oxford.

I held a picture of him with a woman, taken at London. He was holding her waist, at mukhang in love na in love sila. Akala ko ba walang girlfriend? I rolled my eyes. Naramdaman ko naman ang pag-ikot ng door knob, hudyat na may papasok roon.

I faced the door and waited for him to enter. Hindi ko inaasahan ang mga taong pumasok doon. Nabitawan ko ang hawak kong picture frame na dahilan ng pagkabasag noon. Gulat na gulat na nakatingin sa akin ang half-brother ko na si Kuya Harry, habang si Hudson naman ay diin ang bagang na pinagmamasdan ang nabasag na picture frame.

"K-Kuya?" I called him, naguguluhan na.

I sighed and squatted down to pick up the broken picture but Hudson's voice echoed.

"Don't touch my things." He said.

Hindi ako nakapag-react. Naguguluhan na ako. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Ano ang ginagawa ng kapatid ko rito? Magkakilala ba sila ni Hudson? Lumapit sa akin si Kuya Harry para hilahin ako papalayo sa basag na piraso. Hudson did the same but immediately picked up the picture.

"I was just looking at your awards. I am sorry. Papalitan ko na lang ang frame na nabasag–"

"No need. Just stay away from my things." He said and put the frame inside his table drawer.

Lumunok ako. He dialed something on the phone.

"Send someone to clean my office, Rina." He said.

Tahimik kaming tatlo habang pinapanood ang naglilinis na maintenance roon. Nakaupo kami ni Kuya Harry sa harapan ng table ni Hudson. When his office was cleaned and we were left in private. Nagsalita na si Kuya Harry.

"What the hell is happening here, Hud? Bakit naririto si Kaia?" tanong niya at humarap sa akin, "Alam ba ito nina Daddy at Mama?" tanong niya.

I glanced at Hudson like I was asking him to answer my brother's question.

"Kaya kita pinapunta rito. You need to know about this." He said and opened the drawer.

Kinuha niya ang marriage certificate namin. Gusto kong magprotesta. Ano ang karapatan niya para sabihin sa kapatid ko ng wala kong pahintulot. My face was horrified.

"Kuya, we f****d up. Don't worry we will divorce as soon as possible–"

"Divorce? Do you f*****g hear yourself, Kaia?" dumagundong ang boses ni Kuya Harrison sa opisina ni Hudson.

Padabog niyang binaba ang marriage certificate at kinuwelyuhan si Hudson. I screamed at agad siyang pinigilan. My half brother has a bad temper. I still remember how he used to be involved in fist fights noong nasa UK pa siya nakatira. The reason why our Dad decided to send him home para magtino.

"What is this dude? You f*****g married my sister?" aniya kay Hudson.

Lumunok ako. Hudson looked unbothered. He just held my brother's wrist and removed his hold on him. Tinapik pa niya ang kuwelyo niya na nagusot.

"Trust me, Jacob. I had the same reaction as you." aniya.

I sighed. I closed my eyes and looked at my brother.

"It was a mistake, Kuya! Okay? We accidentally married each other years ago. Sa isang pub sa London." I explained desperately. "Lily and I investigated. It happened five years ago, and I guess we were both wasted." I continued.

Parang nanonood ng laro si Kuya Harry, panay ang tingin niya sa akin o 'di kaya kay Hudson.

"She's right, Jacob. A friend remembered that night. Maybe it was accidentally filed the next day." He said.

Kumunot ang noo ni Kuya Harry at umupo siya sa upuan niya.

"Alam na ba ito nina Mama at Daddy?" tanong niya.

I sighed at nangilid ang luha ko bago umiling. Pumikit siya at nagmura. His eyes were bloodshot, halata ang galit at disappointment. Hinarap niya ulit si Hudson.

"You know why this marriage is not favorable, Hudson. We both know why." ani Kuya Harry, makahulugan.

Natahimik si Hudson at kinuha ang kaniyang laptop.

"I know. I will call a friend today to see what we could do to dissolve the marriage." He said.

Ako naman ang naguluhan sa pinag-uusapan nila.

"Paano mo nalaman ang tungkol dito?" Kuya asked me.

I fell silent. If I say, he would know about my plan to elope with Cameron. I know he's aware of who is Cameron to me, lalo na at close sila ni Mommy. Malabo na hindi niya nakukuwento iyon.

"I just know, Kuya." I said and rolled my eyes.

Kung mayroon akong kinatatakutan, si Kuya Harrison iyon. He was a troubled kid. Maagang namatay ang Mommy niya sa sakit, kaya naman nahirapan siya growing up. Iyon ang kuwento ni Daddy. I saw him how he gets angry at nakakatakot iyon. Now, he is a respected attorney but still, he scares me.

"Tell me the damn truth, Kaia. I know you when you are lying." He warned me.

I fell silent. Sakto naman na tumunog ang isang app sa laptop ni Hudson. Naputol ang pag-i-interrogate ni Kuya sa akin. Hudson answered it. Iyon ang kaibigan niya, he discussed the accidental marriage pero ayon sa kaibigan niya, hindi magiging madali na patunayan iyon lalo na at may mga pirma kami.

"So, what do you advise us to do?" tanong ni Hudson kahit mukhang may idea na siya sa mangyayari.

Kuya was scratching his forehead.

"Stay married. We need to collect some proof to use as reasons to present in court." He said.

Nalaglag ang panga ko.

"What? I cannot stay married! We've been married for five years. I need this marriage to end." I almost screamed at the attorney.

Nilingon ako ni Kuya. I remained my composure and breathed deep to calm myself.

"Sorry, but we need to do this correctly and factful to save both of your times." He said.

Tumango si Hudson.

"I understand the law, bro. Thank you. We will stay married and after we collect proofs, we will fly to UK to file for divorce." aniya at pinatay ang tawag.

Hindi ako makapaniwala.

"Hudson," pagtawag ni Kuya. Nilingon naman siya ni Hudson, "Let's talk in my office for a bit."

I get alarmed by that. Tumayo ako kasabay ng pagtayo nila.

"Saan kayo pupunta?" I asked.

Seryoso ang mga tingin ni Kuya sa akin.

"Stay here, Kaia. We will be back after our talk." utos niya.

Napako ako roon sa kinatatayuan ko habang pinapanood silang lumabas. I immediately texted Lily when I saw that she's online but because of the time difference, I know that she might left it on and would not be able to reply right away. Hindi ako mapakali. We need to stay married for how long? This is more complicated now that Kuya knows.

This is getting messier and messier as the time passes by. Bakit ba kasi hindi ko agad ito nalaman noon pa lang?

Bumalik sila matapos ang sampung minuto. Agad akong tumayo. Pumasok si Kuya, si Hudson at kasama na nila ang asawa ni Kuya na si Ate Soraya.

"Hi, Kaia." awkward na bati nito sa akin.

Lumipat ang tingin ko kay Hudson na may pasa na sa gilid ng labi. He licked it and looked away nang mapansin niya na nakatingin ako roon. Did he get some punches from Kuya?

No one dared to sit down. Puno ng tensyon ang paligid.

"I talked to your friend." ani Kuya.

Namilog ang mga mata ko, "Lily?" I confirmed.

He did not answer.

"You are planning to marry that Cameron after your parents told you no? Really, Kaia?" Kuya asked me.

My tears fell down. It is game over. I am not mad at Lily. I know that Kuya might told her something so she would confess. I balled my fists.

"Why do you care, huh?" I screamed at him.

Hindi ko na napigilang sabihin sa kaniya. I was so mad at everyone. My mom, my dad, him, Hudson... it felt like they were all ganging up on me so I could not get married to Cameron.

They don't understand, they would not understand.

"Stay married to Hudson." ani Kuya.

My world stopped. I saw how his wife was ready to hug me but I took a step back.

"That is not for you to decide, Kuya." I rubbed my retaliation on him.

Kuya nodded, halata pa rin ang galit niya.

"I know. But you left me no choice, Kaia. You could only get married if your parents give you their approval. Habang wala pa sa panahong iyon, I will use this damn marriage to stop you from rushing into foolish decisions." He said.

Tumulo ang luha ko. I looked at Hudson but he did not move. I was waiting for him to say something but he did not.

"Really, Hudson?" I asked him with disbelief.

Namulsa siya at seryoso akong tiningnan.

"You heard my friend. We cannot get divorced in an instant. I am an attorney and I respect the law." He said,

I laughed hysterically.

"Bullshit law!" I said.

Hindi sila nag-react. Seryoso si Hudson at Kuya. Tanging si Ate Soraya lang ang may awa na bakas sa kaniyang mukha. Like she understood where am I coming from. But she cannot do anything because this is a family issue, between me and my brother.

"Choose, Kaia. Stay married to Hudson and I will keep silent about that boy Cameron. Or I will tell Dad about all of this. You know what our family's capable to do to Cameron and his family. It's your damn choice." Kuya Harry said.