My Italian Heart

Chapter Six

It seemed like a lifetime before he finally released me. I had expected some sort of remark, but none came. We headed back to the office separately, or so I thought. I got there and waited outside for him, but he never came. Eventually, I had no choice but to give up on him and head back to work. I had already spent too much time procrastinating for one day. Emily was nowhere in sight when I got back. I considered going to check on her, but decided against it. She just needed some time. We all did.

I was lost in a stack of order forms when David came back. I looked up from my paperwork, but looked straight back down. Having found his disappearing act a little hurtful, I would have been happier if he had stayed gone. "I've solved your Rylie and Luca problem."

"And how have you done that?" I never even looked up. My tone betraying my slight annoyance.

"By getting myself somewhere else to stay." My head whipped up.

"What do you mean?"

"I've rented a place in Tregnago." I was disappointed because it meant I wouldn't see him. Tregnago wasn't overly far, but it wasn't close enough to bump into him, either. It wasn't like I had an excuse to go and pay him a visit.

"That's fantastic. Will you still be visiting the vineyard?" I wasn't sure how he would manage it. It wasn't walking distance. I focused on the documents again, not wanting to give anything away if he said he wasn't. He moved around the office. I could hear him, but it wasn't until I saw his feet beside me that I realised he had approached. He turned my chair round, so I was facing him, giving me no excuse not to look right at him. I put my hand in his as he offered it, not expecting him to pull me to my feet, which he did with force.

I landed hard against his chest. Barely having the chance to take a breath before his lips were on mine. It was brief, not more than a few seconds, but it left me breathless, regardless. "You don't have to worry. You won't get rid of me that easily. I will be here everyday reporting for work."

"I wasn't worried, more relieved."

"Hmm. Your eyes tell a different story. Are you feeling better now?" He brushed a stray piece of hair away from my face that had managed to work its way out of my bun.

"I'm fine. I'm always fine."

"You don't have to be fine all the time. Especially not with me."

"What do you want from me, David?" I was starting to get angry. He was behaving like we were a couple, but we were nothing. I couldn't understand what was running through his mind.

"Nothing." It seemed like such a lie. There was no one on the planet that wanted nothing from other people.

"Everyone wants something."

"I just want you. It's odd. I don't even care if you keep up this facade forever, as long as I still see you"

"You're odd."

"That's not what's odd. It might have been a long time ago, but I'm sure I've never felt this amount of desperation before. Every time you walk away, I need to speak to you, to see you. I took the flat because I hoped with some distance from the vineyard you would agree to come out with me. Dinner maybe?"

"We can't. Emily." I heard the familiar steps on the stairs and knew someone was coming up. I sprung away from him and sat back in my chair, focusing on my documents.

"Hey, we're heading off. I've got some more invoices for you, though." He indicated the stack of paper he was carrying and stepped forward to hand it to me.

"Thanks, Antonio. I didn't realise it was so late, sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night." I folded my arms on the desk and laid my head on them. I turned my head towards David, but didn't lift it. "You had best get back for dinner. I'll be back soon."

"I can wait for you."

"David!"

"Alright, I'm going." I waited until the coast was clear before raising my head fully. I needed time to calm myself before pretending to barely know David again.

The dinner was more of a nightmare than I expected. Everyone was talking a mile a minute. I just sat there watching on as though it was some sort of soap opera. "I need to head into Verona tomorrow. We're running low on herbs and spices. Can you drive me, dear?" Mamma ridiculously had never bothered learning to drive. The most she did was drive Pops's truck around the vineyard, but that was rare.

"I'm busy tomorrow, but Aurora can take you." It was typical of Pops to just assume, instead of actually asking, it was getting more and more common.

"While you're going, you can grab me some bits for Amiee." Again, not even a hint of a question.

"Just send me a list." I barely even put any effort into saying the words. Acceptance was too familiar to my lips for it to take much effort at all. David looked at me, but never said a word. I knew he was thinking that I was being a pushover, that I shouldn't be taking on even more tasks. After all, he was trying to take jobs off my plate. I was just as sick as he was that I always gave in, that I felt such a need to be perfect. That need was being replaced with a completely different type of need, and I wasn't sure I wanted to fight it any longer.

I was so sick of putting everyone else's needs and wants above my own. It wasn't like anyone even seemed to notice the sacrifice. The more I took on, the more they seemed to expect of me. It was never enough. I was never enough.

My whole life, I had just blended into the background. Luca had been so troubled that I had tried to stay out of the way, to stay quiet. It was a way of me trying to please my parents. I thought they would see that I was trying to be troublefree instead of troublesome. Instead, I became invisible unless they needed something. It wasn't Luca's fault, but it had put a wedge between us. That wedge only became larger when Pops insisted on him taking over the vineyard.

It was always the same. I put in all the effort, and Luca got all the attention and praise. For a long time, I hated him for it, but with age came wisdom. I began to understand he couldn't be guilty for being given something he had never coveted. I didn't even blame my parents. It was trying to make their lives easier that had led me down my path in the first place. I only ever wanted what was best for my family. Sometimes it just didn't feel like that desire was mutual.

The conversation around the dinner table had moved on without me. I wasn't the only one that was silent. David just sat there, looking over at me. I hoped he hadn't been doing it the whole time. If he continued the way he was going, everyone would know that there was something between us. I cleared my throat in an attempt to snap him out of it, but it just resulted in our eyes meeting instead.

The whole room seemed to melt away. There were no family annoyances or obligations. There were just the two of us. That night he wasn't sitting beside me, but could have been. I heard his whispers just the same.

"You need to get away from here. Take a break."

"I can't."

"They can spare you for the odd night. It's one of the reasons I got the flat. The perfect place for clandestine meetings. A place where you can go that no one will expect anything of you, where you can be put first for once. Say you will come." It was as if he had been privy to my innermost thoughts. I couldn't decide if it was something he had seen for himself or if he had read the sadness and exhaustion in my eyes. Either way, he had picked the perfect moment to get his own way.

"I'll come, on one condition."

"Name it."

"You have to stop making it so obvious that there is a secret between us." He looked away instantly, turning back to Emily as she spoke. No one seemed to have noticed anything passing between us. It was one advantage to being invisible. I took the opportunity to rise and clear the table. Smiling to myself as I walked into the kitchen. Even the prospect of having something that was just mine brightened my mood.