My Italian Heart

Chapter Fifteen

I woke up dazed and confused. Having not gotten home until gone three in the morning, the six o’clock alarm was more unwelcome than ever. I laid there. The warmth of the pillow feeling almost like an insult. Sulkily, I tossed it over and embraced the coldness of the other side. The bird chirping just outside of my window seemed to be mocking me. So sweet and happy as it sang its morning song, except, not everyone was so cheerful.

I rolled over and buried my head in my pillow. Letting out a frustrated scream that never quite made it into the room. Kicking my legs against the bed like a stroppy five-year-old who had lost their favourite toy. It pissed me off all the more that I knew to some extent David was right. I was so desperate for him that I would just have clung to each day I had him. Never focusing on all the things we wouldn’t be able to do together.

Mamma alone would have lost her mind. She might be highly religious but she had mellowed in her old age. She didn’t expect me to marry the first man I came across like she had done. Not that it had worked out badly for her. At the same time, she wouldn’t tolerate me living in sin for a prolonged period of time. When I found the right man, she would expect me to be skipping down the aisle. I was certain I had found the right man, but there would be no skipping involved.

The prospect of grandchildren or a lack of them would be less of an issue for her. It was becoming more and more clear that Luca would be giving her more than enough grandchildren. I had always assumed I would have children. It hadn’t been something I had ever questioned. Despite that, I was certain with David by my side, it wouldn’t have bothered me not to have any. Focusing on my career and my new little niece would have been enough.

It might have only been a matter of time before Luca took over the vineyard, but I had no doubt I would find my own path. Whether that be working with Luca or going elsewhere. It didn’t really matter. I just liked my freedom in terms of business and there were other ways of having that.

I rolled out of the bed, forcing my legs to prop me up as I did. The day called for feeling comfortable, but at the same time I didn’t want to wear joggers and a messy bun. I was certain that David would keep his distance, especially after my display the night before, but I would still end up bumping into him. Something inside me desperately wanted me to be a knock out when he saw me. It was prideful and therefore sinful, but I was past caring.

Taking the emerald green suit out of my wardrobe. It was over kill for the day I had planned, but I knew it would remind David of that first day together when I nearly landed myself in the pool. I even pulled out the same lace bodysuit I had been wearing that day.

As I started getting dressed, I couldn’t help but be thankful that no one had seen me coming home dressed in his shirt the night before. As soon as I had put my trousers on, I bent and scooped said shirt from the floor. Stuffing it angrily into the bottom of my wardrobe. I didn’t even want to touch it, but I couldn’t risk someone seeing it.

I plucked a simple cross necklace from the top of my dresser. It was the perfect length to sit right on the low cut lace. There was a knock on the door. “Come in.” I answered as I shrugged my jacket on.

It was Em and, for the first time in ages, I felt no guilt when I looked at her. It was over and done with. She never needed to know. The advantages to the relationship being over were what I would cling to. I might have wanted David, but at least this way I wasn’t risking losing Em.

“Wow! Look at you.”

“Thanks honey. I’m heading to the office as soon as I’ve picked up some coffee. Do you want to walk down with me?”

“Yeah, are you OK?”

“f*****g fantastic. Raring to get on with the day.”

“It was a good night then?” I wished that she hadn’t mentioned it. For the split second it took for my brain to kick in, I knew I had shown heartbreak. I could even tell from Em’s face that she had seen it there. “Oh, Aurora. I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing.”

“I knew he was a prick despite not knowing him at all.” She looked awkwardly at the floor. If I hadn’t known better, I would have read the look on her face like she knew exactly who we were talking about. Except, if she did, she wouldn’t have considered him a prick. I knew full well that David could do no wrong in Em’s eyes. If anything, her thinking the person I was seeing was a prick was sure to mean she would never consider for a second that it could be David.

Good upstanding David. No one would believe he was capable of breaking my heart, even if he thought he was doing it for the right reasons. There was plenty about David that no one but me knew. The others couldn’t even begin to guess the parts of him that he kept hidden. Either way, I could tell there was something on Emily’s mind. “Just spit it out.”

“I know that you were seeing someone from the warehouse. I’m guessing that’s why you look like that this morning. If you were aiming to make him regret his actions, that outfit will do it. The poor bloke with be beside himself after one glance at you.”

“Thanks Em.” I chose not to deny what she had said, it was pointless because it was true. I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her. “Sometimes, I really don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Well, you’re stuck with me, so, you won’t have to find out.” I linked my arm through hers and started heading for the kitchen. My smile wasn’t fake, knowing I could get back to being besties with my best friend was enough to cheer me up. I just hoped David had the sense to stay out of the way.

As the phone rang, I picked it up instantly and absentmindedly. “Hello.” Em poked her head around the door and gave me the same look she had already given me half a dozen times. She seemed to be making it her mission to check in on me. I nodded back to her, just to let her know yet again that I was doing OK.

“Yes, Mr Larson. I can pop over and discuss that with you.” The older man at the end of the phone was droning on as he always did. I was patient with him, he had been a customer for a long time and was in his older years. “I have time in my diary tomorrow afternoon, if you are free?”

“You can come and we will discuss it over dinner.” I heard voices outside the door and knew instantly that it was Emily and David talking. My jaw clenched, but I forced it to relax. I wouldn’t let him know that it was bothering me.

“Dinner would be lovely.” David walked in just in time to hear me respond to Mr Larson. He looked right at me and paused in the doorway, leaning up against the frame in the way he did. It was ridiculous, but that simple stance was enough to remind me of everything I had lost. He looked amazing, not because he had followed the same thought process as me, he just looked naturally fit no matter what he did.

I turned my attention back to the rambling Mr Larson. “… I will set up the table at the back for seven. If that’s convenient that is?”

“Yes, seven is perfect for me too. I can’t wait.” It was so wrong of me. I was purposely trying to make David think it could be a date. It was immature for a start and cruel to Mr Larson. The American restaurant owner had made it clear over the years that he was lonely and would happily have me for company and not just for dinner. I waited for him to say his goodbyes before placing the phone back in its holder.

“David.” I gave him a slight and clearly forced smile before moving my eyes back to my desk. Hoping he would take the hint and leave.

“Aurora, please.” He looked nervously out of the door. Moving himself fully inside of the office and closing the door behind him. “I would have stayed away, but Em called.” Oh good meaning Emily. If only she knew that her well-meant gesture had actually made everything so much worse. I had no doubt that she had thought David would be an ally if I had to have contact with the mystery man I had been seeing. I just dreaded to think about what she had actually said to David.

“And when Em rang and told you I was a mess, which I’m not, did you mention that you were responsible?” I never looked up, not for a second. I couldn’t. It wouldn’t take much for me to weaken in his presence.

“She didn’t say that.”

“We both know she did. She hasn’t considered for a second that it could be you that would be capable of hurting me. It’s fine. I’m not ashamed. I have feelings, so sue me. You might be able to turn it off, but I don’t find it that easy.” I finally looked up and met his eyes. Hoping he would see the truth of my words in my eyes. Not because I wanted him to believe me as such, but because I knew the truth about what he had done would hurt him.

“Aurora, you have so much potential and I’m just going to get in the way of that. I don’t get why you would even want to be tied to me.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you let me fall in love with you.” I stood up, sending my desk chair spinning backwards. Heading to storm out on him again, which was a childish move yet again. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t even explain it. As I went to walk past him, he reached out and snatched at my arm. The pinching of my skin smarted but I didn’t wince, I wouldn’t. Within seconds, he readjusted his grip on me.

“Please don’t leave.”

“Give me one good reason.” Except he couldn’t. He just stared at me for what felt like an eternity before letting his arm drop to his side. Leaving me to exit with zero dignity, but some hope of a peaceful day away from him.