"Misa! Royle!" Torren's voice filtered through the front door of what Misa had learned was Royle's empty apartment. Three sharp raps followed his calls before Royle flung open the door to let him in.
"Oh, thank the heavens!" Torren said when he saw the both of them. The lantern in his hand swung with his movement. "I came as soon as I could. The purgehouse is a mess right now."
"Torren." Misa stood, letting the blanket Royle had put over her fall to the couch. A cooling cup of tea sat on the coffee table between Royle's cap and a lamp, forgotten and untouched. "Leira. Did they find Leira?"
"That's the problem." Torren didn't cräck a smile, still informing them as an officer of the law rather than a friend. He glanced back at the closed door before lowering his voice. "There were marks on the purgehouse carriage. I'm not sure what exactly they are because they've been shattered to pieces, but combined with the missing snakes, there's talk that a witch was involved."
Something heavy clunked at the pit of Misa's stomach. "A witch," she repeated. "A witch did this? A witch set it up, let loose a rampant bull that killed that officer?"
Misa's hands trembled. A witch was behind it all. A witch had killed two officers before her very eyes and had possibly taken Leira away.
A witch. But who? A petrifying thought, no matter how impossible and illogical and utterly stupid it was, barged into Misa's head. Had she been the witch to cause the accident? Had Tika's magic somehow escaped her and orchestrated such a horrific series of incidents in an attempt to free Leira?
"It's not definitive," Royle said, shooting Torren a look. "We don't know that."
"Which is why we need you to come take a look and see if you can figure it out. We've left the scene as it has been since the removal of Colvin and Taketh's bodies."
Royle tucked his hands behind him, and Misa could see his fists clenching. His voice had no hint of the tension she saw. "Very well. I'll go there now." He glanced back at Misa with hardened eyes. "Stay here and take care of her."
"What?" Misa shook her head. "No. I'm coming with you." She had to. She needed to know, to confirm that it hadn't been her magic that had caused the accident. And if a witch indeed had been behind this accident, Misa needed to know who it was because more likely than not, Leira would be with her.
Royle turned towards her. "No. You are to stay here. You've already been through enough."
"So have you!"
"That's different." Royle tapped the red mark on his shoulder. "I am the captain of this purgehouse, and two of my men have died under my watch. I owe it to them to find out who, if this was even intentional, was behind this accident. You, on the other hand, are an inexperienced cadet who doesn't need to get involved with this investigation. If anything, you'd be a hindrance."
"I'm not a cadet," Misa straightened her shoulders. "I speak as...a witch. I have to know if there was a witch behind it. I can help you, Royle. Please, let me come with you."
"Why do you never listen to me?" Royle stalked over to her, grabbing her arms. "Why do you always insist on going against me? To ruin everything I do to protect you?"
Protect her? Misa sucked in a breath. The revelation dropped on her like a cold bucket of water. His refusal to quit his position as a captain, his persistence in trapping Misa in the purgehouse even as he risked breaking their bond over it. It has nothing to do with Nisha. It has nothing to do with my plans.
"Don't you understand?" Royle broke down, his voice wavering, his grip tightening. "You don't have to see it again. You don't have to relive it, to watch it happen all over again, to see what's left of them."
Misa didn't know what to say. She couldn't speak. Not when so much emotion slipped through the cracks, when Royle was barely keeping himself together because it was his job. When the only way he could return to his duty was by protecting her from what he couldn't avoid. Something broke in her to see Royle so lost, so desperate to cling onto what little control he had over the situation. And it was just too cruel for her to refuse him.
"So, please," he rasped. "Please, just stay here. For me."
"Royle." Misa's voice quivered, her eyes watering. She pressed a hand against his, feeling the tremble beneath his grip. "Okay. I'll stay."
He visibly relaxed, clasping his fingers with hers. "Thank you." He released a breath. "I'll return as soon as I can."
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind Misa's ear, Royle gave her hand one final squeeze before stepping away, grabbing his cap from the coffee table, and putting it on.
"I'll trust you'll keep her safe, Lieutenant," he said, nodding at Torren.
Torren, who had watched the entire exchange without saying a word, took a step forward. "Royle, maybe I should go with you. You'll need someone who can help you sort out the mess."
"No," Royle said, locking into the stiff, straight posture that backed his commands with authority. "You stay here. That's an order."
Torren snorted a sigh but stamped his feet together and gave a crisp salute. "Yes, sir."
With a curt nod of approval, Royle took Torren's lantern and strode to the door.
"Royle," Misa called before he opened it. He glanced back at her, his jaw clenched. "Be careful."
His eyes softened, and for a moment, his shoulders sagged. Then, they were tense once again with the weight of his duty, and he gave her a nod. When he disappeared beyond the threshold, Misa fell to her knees.
"Misa." Torren crouched in front of her. "Are you okay?"
She was tired of hearing that question. She was tired of being so useless, so helpless all the time. How could she ever hope to do anything when she was such a liability?
"I'm fine," she replied, glaring at the wooden grains on the floorboard. "I just hate that I'm trapped here."
Torren fell back from his squatting position, sitting on the floor and encircling his knees with his arms. "In all my years in the purgehouse, I've never seen Royle break down like that...I mean, I suppose it's not every day he witnesses his own men pierced by a bull's horn, but still. He always seems to be in control. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He hides it from everyone."
Misa sighed, staring at her fingernails scraping against the board, following the uneven grains. "I wish he wouldn't feel the need to bear all the burdens by himself. It's like he doesn't realise there are people who could help him."
"I don't blame him." Torren smiled when Misa raised a questioning brow. "He's been on his own for most of his life, if I recall correctly. I don't imagine he would trust anyone to support him when he grew up trusting no one but himself."
Misa felt a pang of sympathy. Royle had lost everything because of Nisha. He had dedicated his life to finding and ending her for all the suffering she'd given him. In doing so, he had closed himself off, to the point where he would be completely unreachable no matter how much anyone tried. How long had he gone without pouring out all that built up rage and hatred and hurt weighing down on him? How long had he been drowning, pushing away every hand that tried to pull him to the surface?
There was a moment of silence that allowed the troubling thoughts to run through Misa's mind before Torren broke it, "Since when have you two...?"
Misa chose to feign ignorance. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't lie to me, Misa." Torren tried to catch her eye, but she refused to meet him. "Don't pretend it's nothing after what he said to you, right here just a few minutes ago. Royle has never, ever shown that much concern for anyone. He was scared, Misa. I've never seen him so scared."
"He watched two of his men die, Torren. I think he has the right to be scared." Misa had to find a way out of this conversation. She didn't want to think about whatever she had with Royle. Not when those cold, dead eyes still watched her through her memories. Not when Leira was still out there, all alone and scared, possibly with a witch as cruel as Rithian.
"That's not what I meant." Torren raised Misa's chin with a finger, forcing her to look at him. "I don't know how to explain it, but I think he was scared...for you."
"You're looking too deep into things." Misa swiped his hand away and scowled. "As usual. There's nothing between me and Royle, and there never will be. He's my friend, Torren. That's all it is. He's a friend, just like you."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." But Misa was already feeling the doubt crawl up her skin.
"I'm not sure Royle feels the same way." Torren let out a breath. "He's never had a woman before, Misa. I don't think he ever intended to find one he could spend the rest of his life with. But he's changed. Something's changed in him, and I think it has to do with you."
"What do you mean?" Misa couldn't help but ask, her curiosity about the captain piquing.
"I'm not sure exactly," Torren said, rubbing the back of his neck. "He's more cautious. He hesitates. It's like, like he's not sure of himself anymore. He's always been so focused on finding Nisha, but nowadays, it's like he's not sure if he wants to go after her anymore."
"I don't understand. We're still hunting Nisha. That's still our goal."
"Yes, but...he's changing his plans. He always examines the situation before him and thinks of how he could use it to his advantage...but when it comes to you, it's like he's trying to work out how to take you out of the equation even if it puts him at a disadvantage. He comes to me, sometimes, to ask for my opinions about certain aspects of his plans. Recently, he's been asking me how I felt about using you as a tool for catching Nisha."
"And?" Misa leaned forward, wondering what Royle was trying to do. They had agreed to work together. She would never let him get to Nisha without her, especially with that spell cursing him to die if he killed the witch.
"I told him I didn't agree with it, but that didn't mean it wasn't a smart decision. Then he made me promise to keep you safe if anything ever happens to him. I didn't think much of it at the time, but after what I saw today, I'm sure he was thinking of taking you out of the plan."
"That's stupid." Misa shook her head, heart pumping at the thought of Royle going after Nisha by himself. "That's so stupid. He has no idea how stupid that is. The only reason I'm even here is because I have to help him. There's no point of me being here if he doesn't want me to help."
Torren gave her a small smile. "And that is precisely why I thought you two were..."
Misa wanted to tear her hair out. It was too complicated, and she didn't want to think about whatever it was she felt towards Royle when her friend was still missing. When she still felt the crippling guilt of not being able to save Colvin from the bull.
"So...you really don't feel anything for him?"
"I don't know." Misa barely kept her voice steady. "I don't know, Torren. I can't. I just can't. I don't want to settle down. I want to see the world and travel to every corner of it until I've painted everything it has to offer. I can't tie myself to a family. I can't because...because..." Misa tried to search for a word, for anything that could describe why she was so hesitant to take a step over the line she'd drawn and kept away from.
"It's okay, Misa," Torren cut her off. "I understand. I'm sorry if I pushed you. Just ignore everything I said. I wasn't supposed to let anyone know about the private conversations between me and Royle. I guess...I was just trying to keep your mind off things. I know how desperate you are to find Leira. And usually, young women at their prime would be ecstatic to hear that someone like a captain is interested in them. I thought..."
Misa let out a laugh, partly in relief that she could finally shift away from the subject and partly because the usual strange way Torren's mind worked gave her a small sense of normality. "Is that all you ever think about? Women and courtship?"
"What can I say? I'm usually an expert."
Misa shook her head with a sad smile on her lips. "It's not your fault. I'm just not normal, I suppose. The thought of courtship and marriage...it scares me. I've always run away from it." She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Because I'm too much of a coward."
"That's not abnormal. It's natural to be scared of something you've never experienced before. You just need to realise when to face it."
Releasing a breath, Misa leaned back on her hands. "Thanks, anyway. As much as I hate the talk of courtship, I suppose you have succeeded in distracting me."
Torren nodded, becoming somber once more. Misa had to remember that he had also worked with the men who lost their lives, and she wondered if talking about her and Royle had also been a distraction for himself.
"We're still to leave for Harthem tomorrow," Torren said.
Misa tensed. "What? No. I can't leave knowing Leira could be lost in Giligha. I'm not going anywhere until I know she's safe."
"I thought you'd say that." Torren rubbed his face. "I wanted to stay for the funeral, and I would have also preferred to find Raki—Leira—before we left, but Royle has given me his orders. He says it'd be safer if you went to Harthem and learned to control your magic as soon as possible. This accident could make your magic a lot more unstable than it already is."
"But..."
"Think of it this way," he offered. "If you learn to control your magic, maybe even learn how to wield it to protect yourself from other witches, you could use it to help us find her. You'll be much more useful after you've learned to control it than you are now. And maybe, if a witch really did take her, you would be much better equipped than the rest of us to save her."
With a sigh, Misa resigned to her fate. She just didn't have the energy to fight it anymore. And if it meant finding Leira, she was sure she could handle a few more slaps and insults. Misa touched the ebony bracelet clamped around her wrist.
She was prepared to meet Rithian again.