Royle tapped against the door, opening it before there was even an answer. The room was mostly empty, the cadets having been taken out for their morning training. It would take at least an hour before any of them would return. Twisted sheets and scattered clothes spoke of a rushed wakeup call that had them scrambling to make it to the training grounds in time. They would be expected to clean it all up before breakfast.
Only one bed was made in the entire room, tucked underneath another held up by wooden beams. Misa stood next to it, back bent as she stuffed the final bits of what little she had into the suitcase she had taken from her home. And maybe it was because he was aware of who she truly was, but even through the purgehouse uniform, he could see a hint of her curves that attested her femininity. He didn't know when he began to notice them. All he knew was that the burning desire to see what lay beneath had driven him insane on more than one sleepless night.
Royle shut the door behind him, cutting off the rest of the purgehouse from their private moment.
"Finished packing?" he asked. Misa jolted up, hitting her head on the corner of the upper bunk with a resounding thud. Her cap fell off, revealing her long hair tucked tightly underneath her hairnet.
"Ow!" she groaned, rubbing the top of her head. She gave him a glare before her cheeks burned into that embarrassed blush that sent a rush of warmth through his heart.
"I'm sorry; did I scare you?" He let a hint of amusement into his words.
Misa sighed, leaning over to grab her cap. "What are you doing here?" she asked, completely avoiding his question. It seemed she was doing a lot of that lately, and it drove him mad that she always ran away the moment they had some kind of connection. Like she didn't want anything to do with him. But then again, why would she? The only reason she was even with him was because he had given her no other choice.
"I thought I'd drop by to see you before you leave." Royle approached her, carefully as if she was an injured animal. He was afraid that one wrong move would push her away into a deep corner she would never leave, deeper into the frustrating barrier that forced him to stay away.
Misa didn't smile as he'd hoped she would. He couldn't remember if she had smiled since the accident. He couldn't blame her. Not after the horrors that she'd witnessed.
"You didn't come back yesterday," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "You said you'd come back, but you didn't."
A pang hit Royle's chest at the accusatory tone in her words. "I'm sorry," he said before he could stop himself. At least, he refrained from saying he was busy. He suspected it would have been a poor excuse for his absence no matter how true it was. Because Torren had been right, and Royle only had until dawn to study the site before it was cleaned up.
There were marks left on the carriage. Marks left by someone who knew how to cast spells. And though Royle barely knew anything about spells, he knew someone had used magic to blow a hole on the ceiling of the carriage, and it was likely Leira had been removed through it when it tipped over.
"Did you find anything?" Misa tilted her head in inquiry, her forehead creasing in worry. Royle wished he could somehow relieve her or help her forget the horrors of the previous day. It was wrong, the way he was beginning to see her, to want her.
"No," he lied. It wouldn't do any good for her to know it had been a witch who caused the accident. Not when she had to focus on getting her magic under control before it got her killed.
Her shoulders sagged. "I'd prefer to stay. Just until Leira is found."
He'd suspected as much. In fact, he had expected she would be more resistant to go to Harthem. Most likely, Torren had played a hand in convincing her to leave with him as planned. At the very least, Royle felt slightly better about letting her go with the lieutenant by her side. It didn't sit well with him that a witch would have attacked the carriage and taken the prisoner away, and the thought of having Misa so close to Nisha terrified him more than he liked to admit. Nisha, who was much more capable than using a bull to kill purgehouse officers. Nisha, who could make Misa disappear just as Leira did.
"I'm doing my best to find her," he said. "You just focus on getting Tika's magic under control."
"I know." Misa looked down, watching her fingers wringing together. Royle wished he knew what she was thinking. He wanted to grab her hands and stop them from twisting. He wanted to pull her closer to him and kiss all the terror and pain away. He managed to restrain himself if only because he knew that was the last thing she needed right now.
Misa picked up her suitcase. "I should go. I promised I'd meet Torren before the cadets came back."
"They won't be back for a while." Royle didn't know why he was insisting. He supposed he just wanted to prolong the amount of time they would have together alone because he wouldn't be seeing her for a good while. He held back a sigh. It scared him. It scared him that he'd come to care so much about her when Nisha could so easily snatch her away. He had taken so much care to shut himself out, to not let himself care about anything, but Misa had taken him by surprise.
Somehow, in the midst of childish outbursts and irritating him in every way possible, in ruining his plans and getting herself into all kinds of trouble, she had snuck herself into his life and stamped herself into his being, forcing him to consider a life beyond defeating Nisha. Forcing him to alter all his plans in such a way that he had no clue how to navigate through them. Part of him wished he'd never bargained with her, that he'd never sensed her spell the first night he laid eyes on her because she was probably better off without him in her life. He had never felt so out of control since the night he'd lost everything.
"Royle." She spoke his name with exasperation, but it still sent his blood pumping, hot against his veins. He couldn't believe himself. How had he gotten so bewitched by her when she hadn't even used the spell? To the point that he forgot about Nisha in moments he caught himself thinking about her? She dropped into a murmur, but he could still hear her all the same. "Don't make it harder for me to leave."
Royle's heart clenched. He couldn't take it anymore. Ignoring the chasm yawning between them, abandoning the discipline drilled into him since his days as a cadet, he wrapped his arms around her, letting her warm body meld against his. Just for a moment. Just until she left, he wanted to keep her as close to him as possible.
"Listen carefully," he said into her ear. If his suspicions were correct, if Nisha really was somehow tied to the accident, he didn't want Misa anywhere near her. "Whatever you do, don't ever meet up with Nisha, especially if she asks to meet her in private. Do you understand?"
"What? Royle..." Misa shivered under his touch. "Wouldn't meeting her—"
"Don't. Just don't." Royle didn't care. He needed to find an alternative, a way to defeat Nisha without putting Misa in so much danger. "I've told Torren to rent out a house when you arrive in Harthem. You must keep your connection to the purgehouse a secret from any witch you come in contact with. They'll know you've come from Giligha once they find out you have Tika's magic, but you must, at all cost, pretend you have nothing to do with the Urthan Purgehouse."
"Why are you telling me this? Isn't it obvious?"
"And...if by any chance you get caught..." Royle sucked in a breath, not wanting to even think of the possibility. "If, even with all your precautions, Nisha or Rithian or another witch finds out you've been working for the purgehouse, you must blame me."
"What are you—"
"I have your sister locked up in the dungeons. The only condition I have for her to live is if you worked for me. Whatever else you fill your narrative with, you must convince them that you despise me. That you would do anything to kill me if you got the chance, and the only reason you haven't been able to is because I'm the only one who can let your sister go."
"Royle..."
"And should the time come when we meet as enemies," Royle backed away and looked into her eyes, "Don't help me."
"Why?" Misa shook her head, confusion etched into her face. "Why would you say that? As if you've already accepted that we will?"
"Tell me you will follow my instructions." Royle didn't want her to know the reason. He didn't want her to know this was the plan he set should everything go to hell. A plan he was letting her know prematurely. "Promise me you will."
"I..." Her eyes glazed over. "I just need to know."
"It pays to be prepared. This is the best course of action if Nisha finds out about the arrangement between us. It's the safest path for the both of us. So promise me you'll follow it."
Her shoulders slumped. She gave a small nod. "Fine. But only if it comes down to it."
"That's what it's for. It's your way out in a worst-case scenario."
A hard rap at the door interrupted their conversation. It creaked open, and Torren peaked through. He grinned when he took note of them.
"I was wondering what was taking you so long." He caught Royle's eye. "I see you were...busy."
"Torren!" Misa hissed.
With a chuckle, Torren backed away. "Take as much time as you need. I'll be sure to let Belmon know that you'll be a while. Ta-ta."
When the door clicked shut, Misa huffed. "Ignore him. He's being an idiot."
Royle couldn't shake off the feeling that he missed a joke or a subliminal message Torren was trying to send his way. He ignored it. Torren was like that sometimes, implying something Royle couldn't catch under his innocuous words.
"I have to go soon," she said, holding her suitcase in front of her.
"I know." Even so, Royle didn't move. Silence fell over them. Silence Royle wanted to fill with something. Anything to keep her here just a little longer. But he couldn't think of anything else to say. Technically, Royle wasn't supposed to be here. He shouldn't have even come to see her off. It just wasn't something a captain did, especially when he had more grave, important matters to attend to. Sending a cadet off to another city because of discipline issues should have been the last thing on his list.
Yet, here he was. He couldn't find the rationale behind it. He just felt he needed to see her one last time, to make sure she got onto the carriage safely and watch it leave the city before another bull crashed into it. And Royle didn't like to act on his emotions. Not when they seldom made sense. He always kept a tight leash around them by numbing himself to the horrors of the world.
But, when he remembered how close Misa had come close to death, how thin the hair's breadth was for her to have decorated the bull's second horn, something had snapped inside him, and Royle couldn't fight the need to see her and make sure she was still here. That she wasn't just a ghost—something his mind had created because she had, in fact, been killed.
Perhaps, he hadn't been as in control of himself as he had thought. Perhaps, he'd equated ignoring his emotions to controlling them, and when they called for attention, prodded at him, kept him awake at night with dangerous whispers, he hadn't been able to keep them from clouding his mind and overpowering his better judgement. He hadn't been able to keep them away when it came to Misa.
Misa mustered a smile. The first she'd given him since the accident, and it gave him a small bit of comfort.
"Thank you, Royle." She held out a hand. "Thank you for worrying about me, for everything you've done for me. I know I've been a bit harsh on you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I doubted you. I know you're better than that. It's just after spending my whole life trapped by my father, I..."
She shook her head, unable to finish her sentence. But she didn't need to. Because Royle already knew from the moment she had compared him to Maran Carpenter. Somehow, even though he perceived Maran to be an irrational man, he understood the sentiment the carpenter had in keeping his daughter locked away from the dangers of the world because he had done the same. It seemed they were more similar than Royle liked to admit, and it was for this reason he hadn't been able to tell her why she had to remain in the purgehouse.
"Don't be." Royle allowed himself to be gentle as he took her outstretched hand into his own. He felt the warmth of her skin, the hardened calluses she'd obtained as a consequence of training like a boy. Evidence of the life she despised. The life he had put her in. She was wrong. He was as bad as she thought he was. A selfish person who would do anything to get what he wanted. "I never explained anything to you. I don't blame you for thinking I had other motives. If anything, I should be the one to apologise."
"Please find her," she said. Her eyes gleamed with the fear of not knowing where her friend had gone. Royle's heart tightened painfully, as if a hand was squeezing it through his chest.
"I will," he promised. He rubbed a thumb over her knuckles, ingraining the feeling of her hand in his. Then, before he could convince himself to restrain himself, he raised her fingers to his lips and kissed the back of them. "Take care of yourself."
With flushed cheeks, Misa pulled her hand back, leaving Royle cold. Perhaps he'd made a mistake. He must have been too forward, just like he had been when they had almost kissed. And it always drove her away. Everything he did to get closer to her, to protect her. Why was it that she couldn't understand? Why did she always run away?
"You too," she murmured, averting her gaze. "Goodbye, Captain."
She walked by him, but Royle didn't move. He didn't trust that he'd let her go if he did. He didn't trust that he wouldn't push her away even more than he already had. Her footsteps paused while she opened the door. Then, the door clicked shut, and she was gone.