The Lost Female Alpha

Nightmares

For as long as I can remember I have had the same nightmare every time I fall to sleep. Every morning I wake up tangled in my bed sheets and drenched in sweat with a lingering feeling that I had forgotten something really important. The worst part of all of this is knowing that my nightmare isn’t a nightmare at all but a memory.

The nightmare always starts with my mom reading me a bedtime story while my dad is watching us from the doorway. I can’t be much older than four years old at this time in my life and my parents look at me with so much love. That was how my life used to be, loved and adored by both of my parents.

The story that my mom is telling is almost over. The characters are past their struggles and only moments away from their happy endings when all of a sudden my mom stops reading. She was in the middle of a sentence so the story can’t be over. I was about to say something when I heard the noises coming from outside.

My mom and dad look at each other for a moment before springing into action. My dad pulled a backpack out of my closet and started stuffing my clothes and belongings into it frantically. My mom pulled me out of bed and started to help me get dressed.

I could tell from her movements and her breathing that she was panicking. She is usually so calm and her panic frightened me so I started to cry. My mom didn’t have time to worry about my tears, she continued to dress me without making any attempt to comfort me.

Moments later she was holding me in her arms while we were running down the corridors towards the small secondary staircase at the back of the building. My dad was slightly ahead of us. He was on high alert. His gaze was moving around constantly as he tried to predict anything that could be a threat. When his Beta Christian ran around the corner towards us he reacted purely on instinct.

My dad grabbed Christian and threw him sideways until his back was pinned against the wall and my dad’s left arm was across his throat. All of this happened before any of us knew what was happening. Christian’s mate Kerry inhaled sharply and hid their son behind her.

“I am sorry.” My dad mumbled as soon as he realised what had happened.

He let go of Christian and glanced around nervously. When he was sure that we were safe, at least for a few moments he turned his attention back to Christian.

“What is happening?” My dad asked.

“Some of our pack have joined forces with the Thorne and Grove packs to attack us. Our fighters are trying to hold them back but at this point, it is just a matter of time till they break through.”

“We need to get out of here.” My mom said. She was trying to calm me down by stroking my hair but her anxiety was evident in her voice.

“Everyone, follow me.” My dad was using his alpha tone to make him sound confident and cover for the fact that he was just as worried as the rest of us.

We started moving again, travelling through the last corridor and down the stairs. This took us to a small utility area next to the kitchen. My dad left us huddled together in this room so he could check if the coast was clear. He was back moments later and I knew he had bad news to share with us before he even opened his mouth.

“Looks like they predicted we might come out this way. There are about ten of them out there. They are waiting for us just beyond the tree line.” He told us.

“Is there any way we can get past them without being seen?” Kerry asked.

“No. They have the entrance covered.” The look in my dad’s eyes as he spoke was the closest thing to true panic I had ever seen from him.

“Not all of us can but if we created a distraction some of us could get out unseen,” my mom replied, pulling everyone’s attention towards her.

“If we go out and draw their attention Christian and Kerry can sneak the children out while they are distracted,” she continued.

“It is risky but it might work,” Christian told us.

“There is a cottage that we own about fifty kilometres away from our territory. Do you know the one I mean?” My dad asked.

Christian nodded his head in agreement.

“I want you to head there. We will meet you there in a few days once we can be sure nobody is following us.” My dad ordered.

Everyone solemnly agreed to the plan. My parents gave me a hug and then started heading towards the back door. I was silently sobbing as I watched them walk away. I was scared and all I wanted was for things to go back to normal again.

I wasn’t tall enough to see what was happening through the utility room window but I could hear it. At first, I heard my parents shouting as they told our attackers to stay away from their daughter. Then there was more shouting that I couldn’t quite make out and eventually growling and whimpering.

After the whimpering started I wanted to know if my parents were OK. I tried to run away so I could go to them but Christian stopped me. He picked me up with one arm and held me to his chest as we made our escape. We moved quickly but silently through the house into the dining room. Christian looked out of the window, once he was happy that it was safe he hopped out closely followed by Kerry who was holding their son.

My nightmare always ends with Christian carrying me into the forest and me straining to catch sight of my parents. Hoping desperately that none of the whimpering I can hear is coming from them. The worst part is I will never really know what happened. It is almost fifteen years later so by now it is safe to assume that my parents died that night. It still hurts not to have any closure over the events of that night.

We waited at that cottage for ten years. Christian and Kerry worked in the human town nearby and I attended school with their son Ryker but eventually, this life became too lonely for us. Being the only werewolves and having to keep part of ourselves a secret from everyone around us was stressful and isolating. So we started searching for a pack that we could join but as it turns out this was a task that was easier said than done.

Without a pack, we were technically lone wolves but most pack wolves don’t see any difference between lone wolves and rogues. This made most packs unwilling to even talk to us and there isn’t a pack in the world that would accept a rogue into their pack. We tried all of the packs within a hundred kilometres of the cottage but none of them would give us a chance so we had to start looking further afield.

Eventually, we found a pack that was willing to give us a chance. The Alpha of this pack had recently taken over a neighbouring pack. There had been some kind of disagreement and the other Alpha had challenged him. After the other Alpha lost the fight he had to give up his pack and land. Unfortunately, this meant that our new Alpha’s pack doubled in size overnight and the losing Alpha was now a rogue carrying a grudge. As a result, they wanted to boost their defences.

As Christian was a strong fighter they agreed to let us join the pack as long as Christian agreed to provide training for the pack. He also helped them to bolster their defences using the techniques my parents taught him.

We have moved on with our lives now but I still have so many questions about my past that I know I will never have answers to. I don’t know why they were attacking us. I know it had something to do with my mom’s wolf and that when I turn nineteen in a few days time I will find out if I have the same trait.

I don’t know what that trait is but I don’t want it. I want more than anything to be a normal werewolf. That way I can do all the things that the other werewolves my age do like finding my mate and finding my place in the world.