Hidden Identity

I wake up to the thoughts of tomorrow and how every corner is a new opportunity to smile. I have tasted fear and it was regretful. I have poisoned my body to find a cure. I have stained my heart with ink and I will continue to do so. I wake up to the thoughts of yesterday and how every maze... no matter how beautiful, they will always have an exit. I wake up to the thoughts of a future and it's scary to breathe cigarettes and wine. but I have made a bed out of the thin slices I cut from those who I've given my heart to. A pulsing heart racing back and forth, the pillow... you're reading it. I use sedative to help with the restlessness. I use drugs to trap myself into believing that I can be loved because I used to feel love, and now? I'm used to being alone, I have met the greatest people on underground society and they've given me a home, I have made lovers out of my demons and I have kissed my sins one time too many and let me tell you, if I ever forget to apologize because I'm weak and numb from the doses of white gunmans inside of hell sweat cabinets... I'm sorry that I can't be better. I'm weak.

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" I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with what I didn't deserve."

Red Lips

💃MahikaNiAyana