EVANESCENCE

CHAPTER 6| Better

ASHTON

It suddenly hits my realization that I have been walking for too long right now. Why am I even here? It was so much excessively frigid but my jacket kept me warm, Michael is probably looking for me but I tried not to care even for a few minutes in as much as my mind felt so full. I don't feel like doing something tonight although I love playing with my best friends, seeing the crowd cheer and giving them a night to remember but every day I battle this soggy feeling in my chest that makes me stop doing what I'm doing and just... lie down and think of whatever my mind offers me.

What's my problem?

My eyes then suddenly caught someone just a few meters away from the street that I was walking. The cars were silently making their way out of the avenue, bypassers went on but I felt as though they weren't there. There stood the girl with tanned skin and braided hair. All prim and proper

It was a girl I have loved for quite too long now.

I walked towards her without anything else in my mind but I was a little unstable. My hands were already clammy. Stupid f**k. Of all the women out there, why did I fall for Luke's girl now?

"Hey, Christen," I prudently spoke as she turned her back and faced me, she smiled but it wasn't the kind of smile you give to a person you love. Just a casual one.

"Hey,” She said. Christen always had her brown eyes appear as though it has light- full of hope and it's hard not to look at them. I was expecting to see her with Luke, but he wasn't there.

"Why are you alone?" I curiously asked her as I placed my hands inside my pocket to keep it warm.

"Well, long story. I'm just here, getting for some air. I feel a little exhausted." She said. There were a few strands escaping from her hair as she stomped her feet occasionally probably caused by the tiring heels.

"Aren't you going home yet? I mean..." I said, trailing off. It was hard to stay calm knowing that it's just the two of us here.

"I really don't know,” She replied.

"Do you need a drive home? You look really tired." I promptly asked hoping she would agree.

"No, I wouldn't mind at all." She reassured as I smiled at her. We started walking along the streets with the bright streetlights and starlit sky and the sound of the cars and her heels clicking on the ground. It was sort of bizarre, but I feel enough and adequately happy with this little moment. I've always wished for something like this, a moment alone with her without any interference. I just want to see her, no ill motives.

Once we got inside the car after a short walk, I started driving. She looked bored and I was quite worried. Was she feeling uncomfortable? And if I ask her I'm afraid to come out nosy. Did they have an argument? I better stop right now. Instead of pulling off an awkward subject to talk to I just turned up the radio to put up a little music.

It was insensitive by Jann Arden. The song was mellow, and as I glanced at her and she was smiling. Well, I did the right thing. Maybe it reminded her of something. Well, something reminded me too. It was the same song the time I took her home when she wasn't with Luke yet, and we're still good friends. I knew her first even before Luke ever did. I admit it's a small world out here, I met her at the bookstore and she assisted me on which book to pick for my sister's birthday. After that, I found myself coming back to chat with her and invited her to our shows at Rockyard Lounge. She brings Kassidy with her sometimes and it somewhat stopped when Luke started talking to her.

Meanwhile, after the short drive, I pulled over in her apartment building. Well, goodbyes again for now. I did this for Luke, to keep her new girl safe. I shouldn't make a sentiment out of this.

"Thank you, Ashton." She says smiled as I smiled back.

"Would you like to come over for a bit? I should really give the favor back to you." She cautiously said.

"Sound's okay," I responded as I parked the car in the parking lot and we both headed in her apartment. As soon as we got inside, I politely took a seat and try myself to feel comfortable. She was in the kitchen, probably doing something as I hear the sound of cups that had clinked.

"Have some coffee, Ashton. I hope that's your thing. She offered as I nodded taking the cup of brewed coffee. She sat down a few inches far from me. "Thank you," I nodded politely.

"I really... look forward to going back to college." She suddenly said taking a thin air. The thought of it seemed to distress her. "What's stopping you?" I asked her.

She softly pressed her back on the couch, her body gently relaxing. She locked her eyes on the ceiling seemingly thinking about something. "I have to save for at least two more years that's why I work really hard now. My brother and I both agreed that I'll save for my college and he'll pay for the rent."

"I'm pretty sure you'll be able to go back,"

"How's your music by the way?" She suddenly asked me. "We'll be working on a few songs, a recording company wants to hear our demo. Didn't Luke tell you that?"

"He doesn't stay here with me and I'm really busy all the time taking extra hours for extra pay. We haven't talked about it yet," She explained.

"Where's he by the way? We don't play on Thursdays. Michael and I are just planning to review our songs,"

"Well, here's how it went. I had a bad day today. One, because I was so busy at the bookstore. Two, I was so exhausted and I skipped lunch. Three, Luke dropped by at the bookstore and wants me to come immediately with him. But he couldn't wait so she left. " She said using her fingers to count the reason why everything so s**t right now.

"Luke can be really sulky sometimes," I said as she smiled. "I know, but I love him." My heart skipped beats. I feel I wasn't existing anymore.

My mind flashed back the memories I had with her. From the moment I met her at the bookstore, I couldn't take my eyes off her. God, I wish I could tell her I love her.

So much.

I better move on.