Letters Full of Sunshine ✓

Day 02: Where he take her into a vacation

Day two.

Where he take her into a vacation. 

✉

2nd.

I saw her again. 

She laughs, she smiles, she dances and she's happy. That was my favorite sight to see. 

Her happiness, to always see the glimmer of nothing but joy in her beautiful face. 

For times, I would always wonder if she knew exactly what life is all about.

If she ever did - will she lose all of her smiles? 

Will she lose all of those laughs? 

Will she lose her beat in every dance? 

Will she lose all of her happiness? 

Will she lost her self? 

I would hope not.

"Hi! There you go again! Being grumpy and all! Can't you at least smile?"

I can't. For I have lost it.. because I, have already found out what life is all about.

/end.

✉

March 7.

His letters are torture.

    My mind doesn't even understand every little thing that he's speaking of in this peace of paper. Why would someone lose their smile if they found out what life is all about? Life is basically... just... living... right? 

    I held my forehead as I felt a migraine coming on.

    This is what I kept telling myself. Why do I need to bring myself a pack of worries and puzzle every damn day when I know that I wouldn't figure out s**t? I seem to only live to torture myself. 

    That may be or may not be my biggest flaw.

    My biggest competitor is myself and frankly, I see that as something healthy. I would never - for the life of me - wanted to compete to another. To my own understanding, I would very much like to be one with my mind and push me into things that I wanted. Whenever something would vex me or make me feel in panic - it was because I still haven't got the thing that I wanted.

    Not because I saw another person having something that I should have.

    Pushing the letter aside, I take a sip in my coffee and eventually, I am at ease. Gone were the thoughts of uncertainty and my procrastination came riding me like a wave. Today was the second day of whatever is happening and maybe, I have lighter clues than when everything make sense later in the month.

    However, do I dare and risk everything for a hope like that? 

    A sigh escapes my lips, completely judging my dumb decisions to always do things that would implicate me into something that I will seem to fear the future for. Shawn is someone who wasn't like the rest of the men who I met.

    Not only does he has his own ways in doing something that most boys would butcher at but he wasn't scared or intimidated to his feelings. The man is someone who was honest with how he feel. Man like those are dangerous - for I always fall for them. 

    The store is closed today so I don't really have anything planned. As I close my eyes, slowly but surely, I feel like I was back in the coffee house. The sound, the smell, everything in here reminds me of the coffee house.

    I love it.

    A smile appeared on my lips when I saw the first sunflower on my table. Every memory flashed back in my mind. Every beat of the music as our body swayed through the rhythm, every smile that we exchanged in every little silly thing that he's saying and every scent that just engulf my senses. 

    Everything still makes me smile.

    Which again - should be a red flag.

    But, did I care?

    No. 

    Even if I didn't give a single care about that - I still can't shrug the fact that I am indeed worried about this whole thing. I do wonder what this is all about. He would offer me sunflowers, my main source of happiness. Letters will also be sent to my doorstep, ones that I need to figure out why. Also, the adventures. 

    Does the adventure have something in connection with the letters?

    "Oh, my god," I blurted out, feeling proud of myself as I looked through the letters to try and see what the current adventure is for today. However, I wasn't really seeing something new. Happiness. 

    It was already automatic that Shawn would offer me something that will make me happy. So... will he show me the meaning of life? Will I lose my smile? Will I-

    "Okay," I puffed, resting my head in one my pillows as I frown, "I can't do anything but overthink. This isn't a good mind to have when you're supposed to figure out shit." 

    Furthermore, what's with 30? Why does it have to be thirty days? Why is he doing all of these for me? Is he courting me, is this what's happening? 

    Is this the way he court girls? 

    If this is really the way he court girls, I have to say, Wow.

    Why me?

    I've notice how he capture every girl's heart. I'm aware of all the little stares that every girl would pass him and all those girls who are literally throwing themselves at him. Shawn wasn't really interested in anything - other than looking at me and sending me a smile whenever I caught his stares. 

    So he's interested in me?

    "Pfft," I chuckled, dismissing the idea as something stupid but my heart does flatter with the idea. 

    Shawn Mcklaire is a handsome man, I know that. He has such has a flawless skin that isn't that pale, even with the weather. The face of that man speaks only nothing but gentle when he's smiling and you could see roughness from him whenever he wouldn't show a hint of emotion. It was rare though, from what I see.

    The face of his was only exclusive to girl who throw themselves to him.

    For Shawn Mcklaire hated one thing - as he says.

    Desperation. 

    He always intend to stay in the coffee house, ordering the same thing, every day. 

    Iced Tea - sometime he would order something hot, but he would always divert his attention away from the coffee menu. 

    He always sits in the counter table so he could watch me in every way that he wanted. Even though he hates the whole concept of coffee, I don't get why he need to stay in that coffee house - or even in the counter table where I make the coffees. He usually just read some kind of journal, one that seemed fairly old.     

    There were some little times where he would read it way out loud for me to hear. 

    It was always poetry. That's what in there.

    Unlike most of us that's basically stuck in this small town, Shawn didn't actually grew up in here. His whole family move in here for about 6-7 months. His real name is actually Valeshawn Mcklaire, but in some twisted way, he preferred to be addressed as Shawn. I don't know why, I never really ask him. Maybe it's because his real first name is a mouthful? 

    Uh yeah, you see, we don't actually talk - wait, scratch that. He do talks a lot, like a lot - a lot. I just nodded and stare at him whenever he would chatter about things that he would always see something interesting. 

    To be more specific, we're not close. I think we're friends - but that's where it just should be. 

    For now.

    He's such a mystery, if you ask me.

    "Hi! Is anybody home?~~"

    My thoughts trailed as I heard a familiar voice. Oh no, she's here. I look at my door and noticed that I just unlocked my door before taking my time to relax at my place. Oh, whatever. I mean I did promise that I would go with this sunflower thing. Eyre pushed the door open before taking a look around. When she spotted me on the bench, she immediately smiled and bowed at me before pushing the door close.

    "Tami, good afternoon!"

    I smiled, "Good afternoon, Eyre."

    "Wow, you're reading it again," Eyre silently commented before she flop herself beside me. 

    I'm not even sure as to why she doesn't want to read her brother's letter. It's like she's afraid or something. She looks way outside and a sad smile appeared on her lips. This isn't a view that I'm quite familiar with. Eyre's usually a happy kid, someone who love to smile and be positive about everything. 

    A pained smile escape her lips, "Tami, you know, sometimes... when you lost someone very special to you... a part of you dictates you to do almost everything that you can to win them back. Whatever you have to, whatever you have to risk. One doesn't see those and do everything they think is right."

    "What do you mean?" I asked.

    She frowned, "They would do almost everything even though they know deep inside them that they don't have the chance to have them anymore."

    "Eyre, are you okay?"

    Then as if it hit her, her face is masked with surprised at my tone. 

    Her face revealed that usual smile that she show before nodding her head in an adorable way. Her laugh escaped from her mouth and I should be grateful that she's fine, but I wasn't really. This was the first time that I wondered if she was alright. 

    Eyre was a happy kid, someone who always have a smile printed in her lips and like problem wasn't even bugging her. She has times where she's cramped with school but it never really cease the time that she has. 

    Now, to see her so serious and solemn about an idea made me think if she was struggling through something. I really think that there's something that's bugging her. I wonder if it's - argh! I groaned internally as I could feel a headache coming on.

    I gave up.

    The Mcklaire siblings are both such a mystery. No one in town actually know much about them besides the fact that they're rich and Eyre is a kind which has the kindest heart. For months, she never missed any attendance to any volunteer work in town. 

    Eyre's eyes moved towards the table which made released a teasing sound, even adding an 'aww' sound when she saw the sunflower in my table. She pushed me lightly but - aw!

    "You're actually keeping his sunflower. That's so sweet!"

    My eyes pierced to her and for what seems like the first time - my idiotic mind seemed to realize something of importance. Everything seemed like what had happened yesterday, when she would make small talk, ask me to come to her and it would end up with me getting handed to what Shawn had prepared. 

    Wow, I just realized her part in her brother's tasks.

    She was someone who was to keep me company to distract me from his works and when he's ready to show me everything, Eyre would drive me to the destination. 

    "So where are you taking me today?"

    She jumped, seemingly surprised, "What do you mean?"

    "You're his accomplice."

    "Hmm?" She questioned, confused. 

    "Seeing the get-up yesterday made me realize it all. Letter would be dropped to my home and then you'll put me in some place, then he'll appear, then something happened, then sunflower."

    "Oh. You got the concept. Anyway, take a bath, wear a dress and then pair it with a sandal, let your hair down and then we'll go!" She said those things very carefully, emphasizing everything which made me just nod at her in response. After she's done with the instruction, she pushed me in my bedroom! This kid just! I looked at her but she gave a peace sign before pushing my door close.

    Okay then.

    It wasn't like I have a choice anyway.

    Eyre can basically tackle me to the ground if I ever say no to her. Besides, I don't have the power to say that to the kid. 

    I took a bath, brush my teeth and then let my hair loose. A smile escape my lips as I saw my hair in a natural wave, probably because I tied it into a bun since I woke up. I'm actually decided to tie it to a bun for the rest of the day but I'm sure that kid will just disagree with my decision. I push the door open and I immediately saw her just sitting there, scrolling through her phone and her face screams the word boring.

    For a while there, she really looked like she's Shawn's sister.

    I fake a cough that instantly got her attention. Her bored expression instantly changed as she gasped, her eyes sparkled as she flash a smile, "Pretty!"

    "Thank you," I mumbled softly, throwing a smile in return.

    After gushing about my outfit, we head down my apartment. Immediately, we were greeted by her slick car which made me fake a smile; kind of scared that my soul will leave my body-again, I might add. Eyre noticed my internal debate whether I should just go with it or run back home; which just made her chuckled as she softly confronted me by saying that she won't drive fast since she's not in a hurry.

    I must have holding my breath because as soon as she said that, I released a soft yet relieved sigh which made her erupted into a fist of laughter. Ha ha, laugh it up. The whole car ride was comfortable, to my surprise. Since Eyre was busy talking with someone on the phone by some language that I don't understand, I spend the whole ride looking outside; wondering about everything that happened yesterday.

    Why is he too serious about this?

    I mean I shouldn't be this troubled because this is just the second sunflower; but no matter how much I lie to myself, I just can feel myself shaking as I thought about it. Time flies fast and then suddenly it'll just hit me that it's the last sunflower. Looking at his letters and everything that he's doing, I don't even know if I have the capacity to understand what this is all about.

    Those thoughts were eating my mind. I don't know why, but I'm so curious. I want to ask him, but I remember him clearly saying that I should never ask. I hate that idea. Why can't I ask? Why is he really doing this? Should I feel special? Should I be thankful?

    I really don't know anymore.

    As the car stopped, Eyre offered me her brother's jacket before stepping out of the car. I just drape it on my shoulder as I open my door, greeted by a lot of people in a black suit. My eyes traveled to my whole surrounding and I gasped as the place got familiar with my eyes. An airport!? Wait, what the hell? I looked at Eyre who is now wearing a sunglasses while she's carefully looking at our left. I followed her gaze and as if on cue, a white helicopter landed right before us. I hold my hair as I kept my gaze to the man who's looking at me as if I'm the most amazing thing ever.

    He smiled softly, "Well you look beautiful."

    "Yeah well," I shrugged as I flipped my already messed up curly hair. I saw him chuckle before he walk towards me, in huge smile and all, "So... where are we going?"

    He titled his head before chuckling softly, "Don't worry, this will just be a day. I'm not taking you away from this place."

    I just smiled at him and nodded, slightly thankful that my thoughts can now stop being such a freaking diva and freak at everything before me. As I take a good glance at the helicopter, I instantly smiled. This is amazing-but why am I wearing a dress? This is so inappropriate when riding such thing. Shawn carefully assist me inside the helicopter before he put on some headphone from the pilot on me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

    "Enjoy the view while it last," he smiled before messing my already messed up hair, "Some weren't seen in the dark. You won't enjoy it much when we head back."

    I just nodded as I keep my view straight. As the helicopter flew on the air, an important thought just entered my brain. I'm scared of heights! Well, actually, I'm afraid of falling. My anxiety suddenly drowned my whole senses that I could feel myself shaking at this point. The pilot continued to ride through the wind and I just closed my eyes.

    "Tami?" I heard Shawn's voice in my headphone. My eyes slowly parted as I take a good look at him. His eyes were flickering to me and my fidgeting hands and there's this complete worry written on his face, "You're shaking. What's wrong?"

    I bit my lips, "I-I'm s-scared."

    He sighed softly as hold my fidgeting hands, he softly massage my hands, making me feel his warm hands. For a moment, that action just made me felt safe, made me felt like everything will be okay. I smiled at him, completely grateful about everything.

    He prepared all of this for me, I should be a baby. Besides, how can you resist this kind of guy? He's just an epitome of perfection. He titled his head, before asking if I feel calm now. As I nodded, he smiled before he held my chin, guiding me to look outside. At first, I was terrified-but then, I was taken aback as I saw everything. It was so lovely. You can see almost everything in here!

    "You like it?" Shawn asked as I nod my head, "Perfect, right?"

    I nodded as I squeeze his hand, "Yes, very!"

    The whole helicopter thing was amazing in some different aspects. I mean, I do look outside for his part-since he badly want to show me those sights, he prepared for this and I won't allow myself to be fed up by my phobias. We saw different islands with different shapes. Some were alligator, some were just circles, some were just random but all in all, that was such a sight to see. Shawn would ask me if I'm okay every hour. We were basically holding hands the entire time of the trip. It makes me feel safe and well, warm. He even squeezes it sometimes if I don't pay any attention to him.

    Heh, he's such a cutie.

    We dropped off at some island. And now I know, this is where my dress would come in handy. The sun was already out so you can see the twinkling lights that he installed in the island. I smiled as I take a look around. Wow, this is just amazing. Shawn put his arms around my shoulder which made me look back at him. His eyes, however, wasn't on me-it was on the whole island. There's this smile on his face as he take a good look to what he has done.

    "What's with exotic lands and twinkly lights?"

     He looked at me and smirked, "Sweg."

    I laughed at his response as he laughed along with me, even biting his lips as he fight the urge of his laugh to continue its effect. He messed my hair before he dragged me in the ocean. We were walking in the seashore, water are touching our feet as his arm is carefully rested on my shoulders. The water isn't that cold, which I am very happy about. As I continue to marvel the beauty of the island, a gasped escape my lips as Shawn created some sort of commotion in the water.

    "Ah! Shawn! Why would you-argh!"

    He laughed, "The water is calling you! Take a bath!"

    "Seriously this guy just!" I dip my hand and splash some water on him. His laughing state instantly fade as he look at me, completely taken aback at my action. I smirk as I stuck my tongue out, "Oops, my bad."

    "That's it, you have to pay for that."

    He smirked and I instantly gulped at his mischievous expression. I suddenly ran away from him and I could hear his footsteps right behind me. Oh god, he's running after me! He has a smirk plastered on his face and I was just running for my own sake. Damn it! Not even that long for a chase, I suddenly felt his arms on my waist as he lift me up and swirled me into his direction. A scream escape my lips as he throw me into the ocean. The wasn't wasn't that deep but it was enough to ruin my dress.

    "Shawn!"

    "What?" he chuckled as he titled his head to the side, "I told you, the water is calling you."

    I splash a huge amount of water on him which made his eyes grew wide. He walked towards me as he splashed some water on me, laughing at our childish acts. We were being like a child, but we were happy. I can see him enjoying himself as I do with whatever we're doing. As we were going out of the water, he suddenly tripped which made him fell right into the water. I hold my tummy and laughed hard at to his whole reaction as that happened right before my eyes.

    "Are you done?"

    "Oh my! That's gold, Shawn!"

     "Is that so."

    I laughed out loud, "That face, oh my gosh!"

     He grinned before running into me, even lifting me up as he swirl me around. I continued to laugh as he brought me down, but he eventually tripped which made us drop into the soft sand. He mumbled a soft apology which I just shrugged out of him. As we take a good look around, we finally noticed that it was finally dark enough to see the stars above. My dress is basically sticking on my body because of the water and I'm not pleased at how uncomfortable it feels; but a part of me is contented. Shawn lifted my head for a second as he make his arm as my personal pillow.

    "Are you happy with all of this?"

    "Beyond happy. Thank you with all of this, Shawn."

    "I'm just starting, Tami."

    "What is this for, anyway?"

    "Nope, no questions."

    I just nodded as we continued to talk under the stars. After some moment though, Shawn asked us to head back to at least change my clothes, afraid that I would catch a cold. As we walk silently, his hand suddenly engulf mine, driving my whole heartbeat into a beat of a drum. Damn it, Tami! Get your head out of the gutter!

    "Shawn, what do you like about coffees?"

    He laughed before shaking his head, "I don't like coffee, Tami."

    "Then why are you always in our coffee house?"

    He looked at me, "Because you're there, Tami."

    I just looked at him, gaping even. Not even giving me a time to response, he suddenly smiled as he held my shoulders so we can face each other. Somehow, looking at those eyes, it made me felt rather comfortable and warm. Something about his whole existence makes me happy. He smiled, and I smiled. I don't know why I'm acting like this, but it felt right.

    "You're the reason to everything I do, Tami." He said softly. I don't know how I managed to just stare at him when on the inside, I was literally screaming when I heard those words from him. I must have done something crazy outside because his mouth formed into a sad smile, "You would think that this is crazy... but you're my everything."

    "Shawn..."

    "I know," he forced a smile, "Don't rush it, Tami. Maybe someday, maybe."

    He casually put his arms on my waist as his forehead collides with mine. I can't breathe. He smiled as he swayed our body, even humming some rhythm as we go. I was just looking at him, and he's just looking back at me. How can he manage to smile that sweetly? How come I always got caught up with his smiles?

    :bam: /sfx

    My eyes diverted to the source of the sound and I gasped as I saw some fireworks. The designs were very different from what I usually see. It's just breathtaking. I can feel his gaze on me but unlike before, there's something strong in his gaze today. Another set of fireworks erupted and I basically just ogle at the beauty show.

    How can I live with him surprising me like this?

    I smiled softly before looking back at him. I want to say a hundred thank you's for all of this. I can't live with all of this. As I look as his face, however, it's filled with nothing but complete adoration. I could feel his emotions and that's just drowning all of my emotions inside.

    "Why are you crying," he wipe my tears, completely scared, "Please, don't cry."

    "I was just overwhelmed. This is too much. This is beautiful, Shawn."

    "I'm happy that you love it, Tami," he lowered his head and wipe my overflowing tears, "But I hate to see you cry. Please, stop crying."

    I don't know what got into me but I just hugged him. I felt his body stiffen, completely surprised by my action-but it just took a minute before he hugged me back and sighed. As I let him go, he flashed me a contented smile before we head towards somewhere. Our hands were clasped together as we walked. The lights were way too many in here. When we got to our destination, there were two people in there. They looked at us and they both smiled before they went back to their cooking.

    "Shawn! You were too early! It's not done yet!"

    Shawn laughed, "Sorry. It's getting cold. Do you have any excess clothes?"

    "Oh," Eyre titled her head as she look back at her brother, "Yeah, I do!"

    Eyre ran into an RV and I noticed how the guy looked at her while she was running away. His eyes were different, it's like he's calculating something. So, this is the guy that Shawn is talking about? The one who 'kidnapped' Eyre yesterday? His stare is basically fixed on his cooking and the RV. A smile creeps into my lips at his action. He's such a cutie!

    "Don't look at him in that way, Tami. I'm not okay with that."

    I laughed before pushing him lightly, "Is he and your sister a thing?"

    "I think so," he suddenly smirked and looked at the guy who was busy cooking our meals, "or maybe just maybe, he's making things hard for the both of them."

    "I got it!" Eyre went out of the RV and swayed a white maxi-dress. I heard the guy cussed, completely startled at her sudden entrance. Eyre didn't even noticed that as he take a good look at me, "Tami! Change in here! Hurry up!!"

    I looked at Shawn who frowned at me. Sighing, I brought our linked hands which made him smile softly before letting my hand go. As I got inside the RV, Eyre handed me the maxi dress and I hurriedly changed in the bathroom, even thankful that she provided some towel inside too. As I got out of the bathroom, I noticed that she was seriously looking at that guy before she sighed.

    So, they aren't a thing yet.

    Ah, young love. 

    So pure and void with many insecurities and so much pride that's basically eating them apart. As Eyre noticed my presence, I smiled at her in which she returned back. The foods were already prepared in the table as we got out and I almost drool at how perfect they prepared it.

    Shawn appeared in my back and hugged me, "Like it?"

    "Loved it," I corrected him, "Thank you."

     "Always welcome."

    We sat on the table and we start to eat the foods that they all prepare. We didn't even talk to each other because of the delicious spices. Eyre and that guy aren't eating with us since they told us that they already swallowed their share-okay, their words and not mine. That guy is in the seashore while Eyre is in the front of the bonfire, not far from us. I just looked at Shawn who is already looking at me. He smiled when I looked at him and I think my cheeks just flushed.

    "What?"

    He shrugs, "I just can't stop myself to look at you."

    Then as if on cue, his smile escape his lips which just literally made me melt on my spot. There's this loving manner in his eyes that you couldn't even escape from. His moon even sparkled along with his eyes.My heart feels rather full of these emotions. Why does he keep doing this to me?

    "Shaaaawn."

    He laughed, "What?"

      I stuck out my tongue at him which made him laugh. We both stand up and head to the beach, as that guy went in some place that we're not even aware of. Shawn drape his arms around my shoulder as I rest my head on his. We just looked at the beach, not minding anything in specific.

    "Hey, Tami."

    "Hmm?"

    I looked at him and I smiled as I saw a sunflower in his hands. I immediately grabbed the sunflower on his hands, smiling at its mere presence. Shawn laughed at my sudden approach but I just can't help it! I love this flower! I don't know, it kind of just made me happy.

     "Second sunflower," he mumbled silently.

    I smiled at him; but he didn't smile back. There's this battle in his mind that he's softly masking in his eyes. My mind suddenly became blank as I saw him battling with himself. He looked at me very carefully before releasing a smiled as if nothing crossed his mind.