THE DARKER SHADES OF WHITE (BOOK 2)

Chapter 6-Back To NYC

The fluffy clouds outside the small oval window of the jet; the sunlight shone on their linings and they looked bright from a side. I have never seen this view before—the sun came in view and blinded my weak eyes for a second. There was nothing but Clear Ocean underneath our feet.

"You should sleep." Shehzad commented and slid the cover over the window, his arm extended to my side—I flinched away from his touch and sunk into my comfortable chair. We were completely alone in the jet cabin yet he insisted on sitting next to me.

"Hmm," I grumbled and adjusted the pillow under my head. It was convenient to have this seat make a bed. I lay with my back turned to him and tried to sleep again.

I have left my beloved country again. I remember that the first time I was leaving, it pained me to be alone and I didn't know when I would ever be back. But this time, I have a feeling that I will come back again very soon. Ahmad Bhai was disappointed but happy with my decision. He really did want to help me but seeing as how Allah was already at my aid (like always) he came to my departure with a smile spread ear to ear. He told me that he would always be there to help me and he was planning on visiting New York soon so he will come to check up on me every now and then. I had only accepted the money that I was given at first from Shehzad to pay off the debt. The money that I had collected previously went into a private account in my name and I was free to use it in New York because I didn't plan on taking any money from Shehzad as long as I was living away from him.

"How long are you going to keep ignoring me?" he mused in a low voice. I draped the blanket over my ear. I was still feeling agitated with him. I wasn't in the mood to talk with him. My annoyance got to me and I gave up trying to sleep.

"What is he situation?" I mumbled coherently. I heard him sighed and the slight whip of the pages of a book closing in the air.

"About what?" he asked. I twisted my head and saw him staring at my back—I sighed and tried to sit up straight. I rubbed my face and straightened my pony tail. I donned my sweater and readjusted my chair. The air hostess came and placed my breakfast on my table at Shehzad's order. The fresh smell of pancakes and crisp coffee hit my olfactory senses and relaxation to my nerves. I started but noticed that he wasn't eating anything.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" I asked and placed a morsel of pancakes soaked in butter in my mouth. He shrugged and took off his glasses. "I already ate."

"Okay," I murmured and carried on. It has been a two days since we left for America. We had spent one whole day in Casablanca at Shehzad's behest. I didn't bare him any mind because I was already thinking things through. I know that I had agreed to go back with him but there was a very solid resolve behind it.

When I saw that show about the lady in the grave and came to know to know that it was absolutely true, I remembered that I was taught about the horrors of the grave. Even the smallest sin that a person commits, he has to pay for it in the grave and who am I? I have committed so many sins and than a divorce . . . . When Allah was giving me a sign to go back when Shehzad came for me . . . then who was I to challenge that divine order? It was like giving in to a shade of white that coerced me in the fear of God. I fear the torment of the grave and my Akhirat.

But maybe, the Muslim part of me decided to come back with him due to fear of Allah and maybe . . . the woman inside of myself wanted to give in another chance—I don't know, I still cannot bring myself to forgive him. And what really boggles my mind is the fact that Shehzad agreed to all of my condition without leaving any room of argument which is extremely surprising. Maybe he has another ulterior motive behind this. Maybe he wants me back because he's still not done using me. Maybe the pawn still hasn't left the board without his permission.

"How is the chairman?" I asked after I was done eating and took my coffee. He glanced at my direction. "He's just like how you left him?"

"Didn't you tell him that I had left?"

"No," he replied nonchalantly. I bit my lip. "So . . . it didn't matter to you that I had left you? Or were you planning on bringing me back this whole time?" I asked dryly.

"I don't know . . . I didn't plan on it. I suppose that everything worked up on its own from that point of onwards." He responded with honesty. I took a sip of my coffee and put it back of the saucer. I shifted my body in his direction and looked him straight in the eyes. He looked tired and exhausted, his jaw had grown an even thick stubble, his hair was carelessly tossed to a side and his eyes appeared weary but lively and handsome nonetheless.

"Then tell me . . . why did you come back for me? And more importantly, why did you agree to all of my conditions without argument?" I solicited. He licked his dry lips and looked in my eyes. "I came back for you . . . because," he seemed nervous; that was a first that an arrogant man such as himself was feeling uneasy.

"I suppose, I felt remorseful about the way I treated you . . . . I guess that I didn't want things to end between us like that." He told openly. I breathed in deeply. So that was it . . . that was his candid answer—so even he's human.

"As for the conditions . . . .  I suppose I owe you that much." He disclosed. I scoffed—why can't he just admit that he needs me or better yet, just admit that he missed me. He caressed the back of his hand on my cheek. I flinched but remained in place.

"Is that it . . . you only felt remorse? I mean you should . . . but that doesn't prove anything. We never had anything between us except for a piece of paper." I divulged. He remained silent and culpability was plain in his eyes and they should be. "I mean . . . I am not the same girl who left you with a broken heart . . . you wouldn't believe how much a girl can change after three weeks of living without you." I commented.

"But all in all, I prefer loneliness in winter," I told.

"What do you mean by that?"

"That's for me and for you to find out." I finished.

"Have you managed something about any place for me to stay?" I asked, changing the subject and looked away.

"As a matter of fact, I did. I bought a penthouse for you in Park Avenue. I'm sure that you will like it." He related. I felt his callous hand touch mine and his warmth crept through me. I tried to pull back my hand but he held it tightly.

Damn, my heart was beating so fast at his touch and my face gets colored and hot everytime I glance into his gorgeous turquoise eyes.

"Don't do that," he whispered to me in an exasperated tone.

"I think I will. You don't deserve it." I hissed acidly at him and snatched my hand away, ignoring the woman iside of me who was screaming at me for not giving into him. "Not until you are ready to share the truth with me, I won't let you take any advantage of me." I said sternly and clenched my jaw.

"Fine!" he grumbled absolutely and got up from his seat. I didn't bother with him but it did disturb me about the way I had become so hard with him.

It's what he deserves. A small voice at the back of my head dictated. Yes, it really is what he deserves. He sat across from where I was and I didn't invoke him further. The pilot announced that we would arrive in about five hours. It began a little cold so I draped the blanket over my shoulders and brought my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I awaited sleep to grab my consciousness and it did.

                                                                              ***********

The alarm sounded horrible to my ears and I woke up with a fit of fright. I realized I was in the bedroom of Shehzad's Condo. It has been over seventeen hours since I arrived. I looked at the screen of the new Apple iPhone that Shehzad had bought me, I know that I had decided that I wouldn't take anything from Shehzad but a mobile phone was a necessity so I had no choice but to accept it.. It was 9:00 a.m. in the morning and Sunday. I groaned. I have to shift in my penthouse today. Thankfully all of my things were still packed.

I climbed out of my warm bed; it was b****y freezing here. I shivered and covered my chest with my arms. I took my bag of toiletries and retreated to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and hair and dressed into a thick woolen shirt with my checkered maroon cardigan and jeans.

I looked at myself in the mirror. There were dark bags under my eyes that even sleep couldn't cure.

When I had arrived, Larry and Courtney were overjoyed to see me. Courtney wouldn't stop talking and Larry kept on apologizing to me on Shehzad's behalf. I felt guilty that they had to worry because of me but they were my friends after all. Even Charlotte was surprised to see me back—only Larry and Courtney knew the reason for my leaving Shehzad—I didn't even want to relate this to the Chairman otherwise he would be so disappointed and hurt and I didn't want that.

 And I don't even know what I will say when I will go back to school tomorrow. I cannot believe that I rejected my NUST application—I wanted to go there so much but I'm sure that if I get through high school here, maybe I can go back to Pakistan and attend NUST and not any university here.

I heard the bell ring. Charlotte informed me that someone was here to see me. I wore the dupatta on my head properly and went to the lounge but I stopped dead in my tracks and jumped into the kitchen; my heart racing like crazy.

Why is JTB . . .  I mean Joshua Blacksmith in my lounge? Is he here to see me and confirm that I was the girl who stayed at his home for four days? Is he here to make sure that I am 'Dia'?

No . . . he cannot possibly know. I mean, he didn't recognize me than, and I am sure that he will not recognize me now. There is just no way—when I was staying at his place, it never even occurred to him that I was Khadijah Atish. I'm sure that at school, I was missing without school leave.  Maybe he is just here for school matters.

And the fact that he turned out to be JTB . . . wow. This world really is too small for coincidences. I was just shocked. Maybe I could tell him that I was Dia. Maybe I might see a new side to him.

Suddenly, the way he had attacked me made me shudder. No . . . I don't know him at all and if he knew that I was Dia, maybe he might attack me again. I cannot risk it again. I suppose that the JTB I met in Central Park and the superficial student Council President Joshua Blacksmith.

I licked my dried up lips and swallowed to moisten up my parched up throat. I donned my Hijab perfectly, covering my hair and the corners of my face. I breathed deeply to calm my nerves but the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't settle. I stepped out and walked in the living room with confidence.

"Good morning," I greeted casually.  He was standing with his hands dipped inside his pant pockets, he was still wearing his black overcoat that truly complimented his blue eyes—I cannot believe that the last time I saw his eyes, they were filled with l**t and confusion.

"Good morning," he also greeted me normally. "Where you out of town for the past month?" he started of bluntly. "Um, yes I was, why?" I asked innocently.

"Well, I came by after New Year; about two times already but you were here. I was informed that you were out of town."

"Oh, yes I went to Pakistan . . . . I had a family emergency." I lied but now that I think about it, my grandfather was sick and I could easily use that as an excuse.

"Well, I don't mean to meddle . . . but you went AWOL from school so they instructed me to come and check things out. Apparently, they school isn't very happy with you gone," he said.

Oh, s he came because of that. I chuckle almost slipped through but I held myself together. "And going AWOL has its consequences in St. Agatha's." he informed dryly. I noticed that he was deeply scrutinizing me. Was he observing me? There is no way that he can deduce that I am Dia because he has never seen Khadijah Atish without her Hijab.

"Alright . . . I will come to school tomorrow and apologize."

"It isn't as simple as that . . . . The penalty for being absent without leave is that the Council has decided that you will manage the school's Annual Charity Fair this year." He told. I nodded my head.

"Alright." I agreed. I'm sure that it is a fair penalty. He also nodded. A shroud of silence spread between us and I began to feel uneasy.

"Nice place you got here. I hear that you live with your cousin." He said. I felt annoyed at his sudden comment which I had no intention of answering."Um, if there isn't anything that you need, then . . ."

"Oh yeah, sure." He got the hint and headed for the door. When I held the door for him, his hand carelessly brushed against mine. I cringed and shrank it back. He smirked and the elevator doors closed with his eyes and lips smiling at me with a sense of knowing.

What the hell was that about? Has he suspected me? No . . . . There is just no way.

                                              **********

 VOTE COMMENT, PROMOTE.