Revenge of the Billionaire’s Ex-Lover

14. The Warmth of Hold (PART III)

WITHOUT EVEN MINDING THE POSSIBILITY of any incident, I tried to drive as fast as I can to reach home right away. I can’t even hear my best friend’s endless complaints about my speed and how furious I look. All I have in mind now is my mother’s condition.

Before I managed to drive off from the mall, Dianna sent me a voice message which contained what happened since she wasn’t able to tell me. Even by the way she talks, I could tell that she is just as furious as I am with the way she tries her best not to show it. That is probably the reason as well why she can’t speak properly earlier during our call with how hard her breathing is, as if she is trying to catch it while struggling.

“Kaylie! Slow down for f**k sake! We will be in an incident first before you could even reach your Mom.” Kiana scolded, obviously trying to make her voice as gentle as possible, but I don’t think that will work already. After all, she has been trying to be calm and soft when it is completely obvious how tense and scared she is right now. “I know you hate your life right now, but come on! I still have left to do.”

The moment I heard Kiana’s clear plea, I immediately slowed down my speed and let out a deep breath when the stop light turned red. I lean my head into the head rest of my seat, closing my eyes for a bit, hoping that it will help me. After all, I know my father well and how much he is capable of doing just to keep his power. However, what Dianna told me wants me to hurt my father now too.

During that phone call, Dianna told me that the reason was because of the sudden call that she got from Mom. I don't exactly have any idea how I will react once I go there. She said that Mom has been constantly trying to convince him to drop the arranged marriage set for me with Darryl for weeks now, but Dad is like a stone who won’t even back down. So they ended up arguing and things got heated between them that led up to Dad hurting Mom. It was the first time that it happened. That is why I understand why Dianna was so furious.

Our father may have been an awful one who wanted to take full control in our life since we were kids, but he is a good husband to our mother as we see them both act all lovely as a couple. He cherishes Mom like she is some kind of fragile glass that can be easily broken once dropped. I even remember how much he wanted Mom to just drop her career so she wouldn’t need to work and get tired since he claimed that they already have the money to make our lives stable. So hearing that he hurted Mom, it is something unfamiliar in my ears and probably the reason why I feel so furious now.

It took us a few more minutes before we managed to arrive at our home. When I looked at the parking lot of our home, Dad’s car wasn’t there anymore yet his driver was at the guard’s house talking to some of the maids in the house. All I could do was swallow the shame as the thought of them possibly witnessing what Dad did to my mother is too embarrassing enough for me. They must have been flustered for it too.

“Mom,” I immediately called upon entering our house. Mom sits at the couch with Dianna next to her. My gaze immediately went to the cold compress placed on top of my mother’s cheeks by Dianna as my sister’s brows remained furrowed. I let out a deep sigh as I held Mom’s hand gently. “How are you, Mom?”

“I am fine, dear. This will fade soon. You didn’t have to come here so fast.” Mom gently says with her soft tone.

When Dianna removed the cold compress to fix its position, I caught a glimpse of my mother’s cheeks. My eyes widened a bit and lips parted at the sight of it. It is so red and the mark of my father’s hand is still visible which means it wasn’t just a simple slap, it was a hard slap. Guilt immediately rushed into me as I looked down with my hand forming into a fist. This is all my fault.

“Where’s Dad?” I simply asked, trying to contain the anger in my tone.

“Asshole left and went somewhere I don’t know. Don’t he dare to come back or else—”

“Dianna.” Mom firmly called and stopped my sister from saying more.

I took a deep breath as I looked at Dianna’s flush face. Her pale skin makes it even more obvious how mad she is with the situation. Between the two of us, she has always been the calmer and more chill despite what was going on around her already. Hell she is even the one who can manage to stop me from telling our father off. However, seeing her this mad right now, I can’t even have an ounce of energy to calm her because I am just in the same boat as her.

When Mom’s swollen cheeks became better, Dianna and I decided to assist our Mom to their room with Kiana being left behind in the living room alone as she checked the CCTV of what happened. Apparently, it happened in the living room which is why most of our maids witnessed the scene that made the situation even worse. So she insisted on checking it then talking to our maids on our behalf to make sure that the issue won’t get out of this house, or else it will be a big scandal for us.

“Have you tried calling Dad’s secretary?” I asked Dianna after closing the door to Mom’s room, leaving her alone there when she finally fell asleep. I glanced at her but the furrow on her brows only came back with the mention of Dad.

“Why would I do that? It’s better that he just left after what he did. That f*****g jerk just had the guts to lay hand to Mom after everything she did for him.” Dianna madly exclaimed with a firm tone. She let out a deep breath as we reached the living room, allowing her to sit on the couch. “Don’t try to look for him anymore, unless you want to get hurt too.”

“But Dianna—”

“Kaylie,” Kiana’s voice interrupted my supposed to be giving lessons to my sister. When I turned around, I saw the stress in her face, which only means that nothing good came out from that CCTV. She stood in front of me, worried filling her face. “I checked the CCTV. It looks like your Auntie and Uncle have been arguing even before they arrive. I asked Manang if she heard what they were arguing about, she said that it was really about the two of you.”

“The two of us?” I repeated, giving my sister a look who suddenly stood up with Kiana’s revelation.

She nodded her head as another sigh escaped her lips. “Apparently, your father wants to arrange marriage for the two of us and also wants Dianna to drop her career so she can help in your family instead.” She revealed once more, making me close my eyes.

“So, he isn’t out there to ruin one of his daughter’s life, but also out to ruin both of our lives already?!” Dianna exclaimed, and the only thing that follows is her endless curse towards our father.

What can be worse than all of this now?

As I sat on the couch, constantly listening to my sister’s complaints and irritation, all I could only ponder was how all of this came to this point because I probably failed to impress my father and give him what he truly wants. It is not only about the partnership with Don’s company anymore, but in generalization. He wanted more power and I can’t give that to him with just my skills. He wanted me to be the perfect daughter that he groomed, but I didn’t come out to be one as I grew up. If only I managed to give him all that, we wouldn’t even reach this point. After all, what he only wanted was to get everything he wants, to have all of his imagination become reality.

There is not even a possible excuse that can be used to escape from such a chaos in my life right now. Even if I wanted to escape for a bit and turn back to all of my responsibilities, I can’t even have an ounce of courage to do it anymore. Maybe it is because I have been pulled down so low that I can’t even back up anymore to set things right. The courage and bravery that my friends keep pointing out that I have… it is all gone now.

With the sight of anxiety and frustration filling my sister’s face, I couldn’t even be more sorry than I already am. I already accepted the fact that my future is not in my own hands anymore, but for her own to be taken away as well because whatever our father has planned for me is not doing well, I can only feel guilty about it. A part of me thinks that I failed as her older sister… probably failed to be one for a long time now but I only realize it now because of how blind I have been.

The last thing that I want is to see my own mother and my sister suffer in the same path I am about to walk on soon. Both of them have their own careers that they have chosen for themselves, and for them to fight for my freedom means they have to give up those careers they worked hard to build for several years. I can’t let them do that just for my own sake. I’d rather suffer alone than bring those important people in my life down. I can’t let them be on the same path as me.

“You are out of yourself again.”

I heard a familiar, feminine voice from behind me. A small smile formed my lips upon seeing Jordan dress in her pantsuit with a purse on her hand and a stilettos on to complete the look. She tries to hide the worry in her face, but I could tell that she and Kiana just have the same sympathy towards me right now.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I exclaimed, following her every movement as she occupied the chair opposite to me.

“I am! But I just can’t leave my friend alone when she’s in some kind of misery.” She pointed out without any filter, making me scoff a bit.

“Kiana already told all of you about what happened.” I claimed while staring at the vase on top of the table.

It has only been a few hours since what happened ended. But during those hours, my mind keeps wandering back to that moment when I saw my mother’s cheek in a shade of red with a mark of a palm on it. I can still remember too how mad my sister was last night. It is all still in my head and never dared to leave.

“Have you slept already?” She concernedly asked. When I look up to meet her gaze, she immediately lets out a sigh as I follow up with a little shake of head. “I know that things are rough for you right now, making yourself sick will make it even worse. At least try to take care of yourself, Kaylie. You can’t be in this kind of pace again.”

This kind of pace… it came again. Was it four years ago? I was promoted to be the General Manager of Grand Moreno Hotel after years of serving in the other department to blend in properly. However, as much as the promotion is a big and good news, it turned out to be the disaster in my life that trapped me more in my father’s palm up until now.

That pace where I felt lost and uncertain of my every action, it is all there! I kept doubting my decision because it can’t seem to reach my father’s expectations. I kept doubting myself for being such an imperfect child and unfit for my supposed role as the successor of our family business. I kept feeling guilty every single time the employees around me were being scolded because I made a choice that was against my father's will. In short, it was the pace when my self-confidence was so low and I kept blaming myself with everything no matter how much people tell me not to.

I am at that pace again.

“Jordan,” I softly called for her name, making her raise her brows in response. A bitter smile slowly formed my lips, softly easing the furrow in between her brows. “I don’t think I could ever escape that pace anymore.”

“Kaylie—”

“I mean, look what happens when I try to escape from my reality? My mother got hurt and my sister is about to lose everything she worked hard for! Worse case, she will even lose her freedom if I don’t set things right!” I raised my voice, feeling the guilt and heaviness in my chest. “This is probably the punishment for all those foolish acts I did back then.”

I lean my back to the chair and let out a deep breath, keeping my eyes to the bright sky. It’s funny actually. The brighter the skies and the sun can be, the darker it gets inside my head and the heavier it is in my chest. It was like even the weather itself is not on my side anymore that it keeps contradicting what I feel. Somehow, nothing can even comfort me anymore.

“How will that be punishment when you weren’t even the one who started those acts in the first place? It was your ex-boyfriend, remember?” Jordan reminded me of what I have always been forgetting. She then switched seats, occupying the one next to me before reaching for my hand and holding it. “Don’t you think it's time to stop blaming yourself for the things you weren’t even at fault for? Or the things you weren’t the only one to be blamed for?”

I wanted that to. I want to stop blaming myself with all the problems and issues I have in my life. I wanted to be free from all of that guilt. However, as I remember that Don exist in my current life once again and the voice of my father whispering to my ear about how I am such a useless daughter, I don’t think asking for my freedom from that guilt is possible at all. I probably couldn’t escape it anymore.

As much as I expected, Jordan ended up ditching her work for today and decided to accompany me throughout the day. That woman even made sure that I will put healthy foods in my system and even ordered me my favorite drink so I would at least stay hydrated despite my problems. The worst thing is that she even stayed in my bedroom to check if I actually slept. So, even if I wasn’t in the mood, I still ended up doing so because she was watching me the whole time. In those hours, it does feel like she is my own mother who is watching her kid relieve herself from all the guilt.

“For Kaylie’s problem!” Everyone raised their glasses from the table as I followed with my vision slowly becoming blurry already. “Cheers!”

Tonight, Deven, Kiana, and Jordan decided to pull me out of their own unit for a night out with just the four of us. It feels weird because I can’t see any other people present in our private room that Jordan booked for us. The woman that Kiana felt jealous too is nowhere to be found. Men who would always try their best to get in my pants, they are out of my sight as well. It is just the four of us and nothing at all!

“You know, you all don’t need to do this, right? This pace will pass too! No need to try and distract me this way. Besides!” I stood up and confidently showed them my fake smile that I know well they recognize as one. “I am fine already! No pain! No guilt! I am fine now.”

I am not.

As they gave me worried gazes, I let out a groan in frustration and decided to just go out of that suffocating private room to blend in with the other people in the club. I try to make some small movements to groove along with the music and join the people in the dance floor while standing on the second floor. I feel like my usual self whenever I go for a night out. However, something is missing.

As the night gets deeper, I keep drinking and drinking until my vision is almost as blurred as the censored photos and videos already. Whenever I try to walk, I always end up looking for a wall or a rail to hold on to so I won’t fall. I feel so drunk that I can easily just forget my problems already… until I notice a pair of gazes watching me from afar.

I wandered my eyes around the dark building with only the blinding lights of the disco light filling the whole building, my gaze landed into the man standing inside a private room opposite to our own. He has one hand inside his pants pocket while the other holding a glass of alcohol with his gaze locked on me as he puts on a straight face. As I try to adjust my vision to see clearly, I can only see one man.

I can only see Donovan Tobias Casis with his gaze lock on me, watching carefully.

“Why the f**k is he here?” I exclaimed, questioning myself in an irritated tone.

Just when I was about to make my way to him, a figure suddenly stood up in front of me, stopping me from going anywhere. I look up to see Deven with his brows furrowed as he tries to keep me on my feet so I won’t lose my balance already. It is indeed a good decision not to wear heels tonight.

“You had enough, Kaylie. I think I should drive you back to your unit now.” He suggested, attempting to pull me as gently as he can, but I only yeet his hold away.

“I am okay! I need to go there!” I pointed to the private room opposite to ours, drunkenly. He looked at the direction of it as I immediately caught him let out a sigh. “f*****g Donovan is standing there, watching me suffer! I can’t let him get away from it.”

Without even waiting for Deven’s answer, I passed by him and left him there. Luckily, he didn’t follow me and just let me get away. As I reached the other side of the second floor, a man dressed in a black suit and a pair of leather shoes with his hands politely placed in front of him and an earpiece opened the door for me without doubt. There, I met the least person I probably wanted to be here tonight.

“Asshole! What are you doing here?! Are you planning to take revenge on me even here?!” I exclaimed without even stopping for a bit. He kept his silence while only looking at me blankly. My lips formed a pout as I put down the glass of alcohol on the table before sitting down on the couch as he kept his silence. “You won’t even speak a single word. Do you really hate me that much too?”

“Who said I hate you?” He only questioned back.

I look up to him with my flush face and timid eyes. “You! You said you will take revenge on me, right? That’s the same as hating me!” I exclaimed, pointing at him with my forefinger, before making a big gesture. “And everyone else! They hated me too!”

Instead of arguing back, he put down his glass to the table then occupied the empty spot next to me. However, his next action made me almost frozen on my spot. Without saying a single word, he suddenly wrapped his arm around me and caressed my back gently with his one hand as if he was trying to comfort me. He placed his other hand on the side of my head and made me lean on his chest in silence, allowing me to hear his calm heartbeat that is opposite to my fast beat.

What is this?

“W-What are you trying to do?” I said, trying to escape from his hold, but he only tightened his hold on me while still trying to keep it as gentle as possible. “Let me go!”

“Stop resisting, Kaye. We both know what you need the most right now.” He softly says as he stopped caressing my back, only to pat it gently now like he is making a baby go to sleep or stop crying. “Let it all out, Kaye. This room is soundproof enough for you to break down without any hesitation. You don’t have to be shy around me as well. I promise not to say a single word once you decide to let it all out. I will only remain silent, listening to you.”

As I heard him speak, I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol taking over my heart and mind, but the tears just slowly formed in my eyes without further notice. The hand that was pushing this man away slowly loosened up its hold and I could feel myself leaning more to his warm body, allowing him to calm. The next thing I knew, tears were already streaming down my cheeks like it was some kind of waterfall already as I remained on his warmth hold around my body.

It is that silence that allowed me to be vulnerable. It is that silence that allowed me to let those tears out I have been trying to hold for days. It is that silence that made me feel so weak to even help myself sit properly still. And that silent… It happened because Don made it possible.

It happened because the man who claimed he will take this revenge on me… he made me feel that I can cry on his warm hold without any doubt.