Love Wins Anthology

Chapter 3

Chapter 3Josh woke alone the next morning. Well, nearly afternoon. His eyebrows rose as he glanced at the clock and saw how late it was. Adam must have left hours ago to meet with his landscape clients.

Stretching until his spine popped, Josh smiled in contentment. It was going to be a good day. He’d grill dinner for Adam—maybe try that new tequila lime marinade on the chicken? And some shish kebabs of fresh mushrooms, red pepper and onions. Then after Farrelli’s excellent ice cream, he’d take his time seducing Adam, tormenting him until that little moan of need Josh so loved hearing couldn’t be suppressed. Josh intended to remind him just how good they were together, all without a marriage certificate.

He got up, dressed in sweats, and went down to the kitchen barefoot in search of coffee. While it was brewing, he trimmed the chicken breasts, put them in a dish of marinade, and tucked them back in the fridge. He was about to take his first sip of coffee when his pleasant, easy day jerked to an abrupt halt.

“Josh? Where are you?” the voice called in a sing-song tone.

His mother, who’d used her front door key despite the many times he’d asked her to ring the bell and wait to be let in.

He yielded to the inevitable and called, “In the kitchen, Mom.”

A moment later she swept into the room, the huge tote bag she was never without slung on one shoulder. In her hands was a plastic-covered tray of what looked like cake samples—wedding cake samples. With a bright smile she said, “Hi, honey. Is Adam here? I have lots to talk over with you two.”

“He had to work today.” Josh gestured to the tray. “Would you like coffee with your cake?” Not that she needed caffeine. For as long as he could remember, she’d been in perpetual motion, always driving forward with whatever project she had her heart set on.

She laughed. “No thank you, dear. I brought these for you and Adam to try.” She set the samples on the counter and looked around. “There’s not enough space in here. Let’s go into the dining room so I can spread out.”

Certain he’d need it, Josh took a huge gulp of his coffee and refilled the cup. When he joined her in the dining room, an urge to run and hide hit him. She was happily pulling dozens of notebooks, catalogs, and sample books from the tote bag. “Mom, stop. What is all this?”

She smiled at him—that same tolerant smile he always got as a child when he was being dumb. “This is for your wedding, of course.”

He swallowed hard. Clearing his throat, he forced a calm, reasonable tone to his voice and said, “I’m not getting married. I don’t know what you have planned, but you need to stop right now.”

She did pause for a moment, at least long enough to say, “Well, of course you’re getting married.” She pulled the last of the notebooks from her tote and started spreading them out in rows on the table. “This is a social revolution, and you and Adam are part of it.” Looking up at him with an incredulous expression, she added, “Josh, you’re an archivist—this is your chance to live history, not just record it.”

“Mom—”

“You remember how I cried when you told me you were gay? You were only thirteen. And maybe it was selfish, but there I was, a wedding planner, knowing there’d be no wedding for my own son. You’d never live openly with the person you fell in love with. Or have the security and the protection that come with marriage. Honey, this is everything I’ve wanted for you.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Marriage didn’t seem to give you any protection. Either time.” As soon as he said it, he was sorry. She’d always maintained the fiction that she was over the pain of her divorces. But the wounded look on her face spoke the truth.

She recovered from his barb and straightened. There was an edge to her voice as she said, “Don’t use my mistakes as an excuse to avoid taking a chance. I’m not saying it’s easy—marriage isn’t for p*****s. But you two are made for one another. Let the past interfere, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. And trust me, I know what lifelong regrets feel like.”

Heat rose in his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to hurt her—it had just come out. Trying a rational approach to put an end to this, he said, “It’s not that I’m ungrateful to have the option. But I’m also free not to exercise that option. Adam understands. He doesn’t want to be married.”

She snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous, honey. This is forever for him. He’ll never leave the home he’s made here with you—it would destroy him. He’s nesting.”

A twinge poked him somewhere in his chest. “No, he’s not. He just likes to create beauty everywhere around him. That’s why he’s so good at his job.”

She folded her arms and stared at him with a knowing look that was really annoying. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

“I’m trying to get you to drop this idea. Please, take all this stuff home and go plan someone else’s wedding.” Trying to divert her, he added, “Mitch and Bertram are getting married. Maybe you could help them out. Or better yet, get together with Chaz and George, the two city councilmen. They’re all into unicorns and hearts. They could really use the help.”

“You think so? I could drop in and ask if they need any ideas.” She sat at the dining room table and opened one of the binders. “In fact, the court ruling might just open up a new focus for me. Same-s*x weddings mean a whole new set of issues to be dealt with.”

Josh sighed in relief. She seemed to be off on a new tangent. He was safe.

She smiled up at him. “For example, church venues. For couples who want a religious ceremony, I need to know which clergy will do a good job and which are likely to balk at the idea. And I need to lock down the services of the good ones well in advance.” She opened the binder to a photo of the New Hope Church, a non-denominational church established a few years ago. “This is my choice for you and Adam. The church is on the other side of town, but I’ve spoken with Reverend Donovan, and he has an opening this Saturday at two o’clock. So I grabbed it. Don’t be late—it’s a small window.”

She pulled out a yellow legal pad covered with notes and barreled on. “With such a short time-frame for me to work in, I’ll be streamlining. My favorite bakery will be doing the cake, of course. You and Adam can let me know which of the samples you like best. And I need Adam to choose the flowers. Maybe he can get them wholesale.” She wrote herself another note. “I think we can—”

He jerked the legal pad out of her hands. “Mom! Enough.” When his mother got rolling, she was a damned freight train. If he didn’t put an end to this, she’d hound him and Adam to death. “I told you we are not getting married. No one is showing up at that church on Saturday.”

“Don’t be stubborn. Once you give this some thought, you’ll realize marrying Adam is exactly what you need.”

Josh’s temper rose, as did his voice. “Let me be clear. I am not going to marry Adam. I don’t want to marry Adam. Not on Saturday. Not ever. And that’s final.”

Silence followed his outburst. She stared at him at length and finally sighed. “You’re making a big mistake here, Josh. One that will leave a deeper wound than the memories of my failed marriages do.” She repacked all the binders and catalogs into the bag and hoisted it onto her shoulder. “I’m not giving up, you know. I’ll keep working on this, and you let me know when you change your mind.” She placed a quick kiss on his forehead and marched out the front door.

Well, that could have gone better. Josh went into the living room and collapsed on the couch. He switched on the television and spent the next hour changing channels, not seeing anything. He couldn’t get the idea out of his head that he’d been a royal prick, first to Adam, then to his mother. But it was his life, his choice. He squirmed against the cushions, trying to get comfortable, and couldn’t.

He gave up and turned off the set. Might as well prepare the vegetables. Adam would be home soon. He walked into the kitchen and saw a pile of groceries on the counter. His mood lifted. Adam must have gotten off early.

He opened the back door and looked out. Adam’s vintage red Mustang wasn’t there. That was strange. He wandered back inside and moved to the groceries, intending to put them away.

And stepped in a puddle.

What the hell? He stared at the pool of melted ice cream, half pink, half beige.

Adam had been there.

Adam had heard Josh’s adamant refusal to marry him—ever.

Adam was gone.

His heart rate soared as a wave of fear sped through him. Josh grabbed his phone and dialed. Please, please, pick up. It went straight to voice-mail. He took a deep breath and left a message. “Adam, I’m sorry. I was just trying to get Mom to back off. You know how crazy she can get. Look, just call me, okay? I just need to know you’re all right. I love you.” He disconnected the call and waited, not moving, feeling the sticky mess ooze between his toes.

Nothing but silence.

He set the phone on the counter and stared at it.

He was so f****d.