The Lone Wolf's Lycan Princess

Safe

River POV

Erin returned, placing her worn notebook on the table before me. The sound of its cover opening filled the air, but before she could finish, I swiftly pulled out my chair and effortlessly lifted her onto my lap. "Better," I whispered, feeling a slight warmth spread across her blushing face as our hands brushed. She resumed opening her notebook, revealing the pages I had previously read.

"The reason I cut myself is because it is the only way I can remember," she began, her voice tinged with confusion. Intrigued, I encouraged her to continue. "When I do it, I get vivid flashbacks of the night my family was taken from me. Though most memories are the same, I can catch glimpses of my sister. In these flashes, she told me that silver did not harm me."

Realizing her struggle, I reassured her gently, "It's okay to take it slow, Erin. You're still adjusting to finding your voice again." She nodded, appreciating the understanding. "If you read further, I've documented everything I remember. Though it's not much, I'm willing to share it all. I want to help as much as I can. One time, I believe I remembered the person responsible, but his image was blurry. I attempted to sketch him, but his features eluded my memory. I think I was in pain, although I don't recall being injured. These flashbacks always leave me in agony."

Recalling her recent doctor's appointment, I shared, "During your appointment, they mentioned the severity of your injuries. Your life was truly at risk, yet you survived." As she flipped a few pages, she revealed a meticulously detailed sketch. "You drew this?" I remarked.

She apologized, modestly claiming, "Yes, it's not the best."

"It's amazing. You're a truly talented artist. From what I know, the assailant is deceased, but this sketch could prove invaluable." I countered.

Allowing me to peruse further, I delved into her repetitive memories, seeing how her family's demise revolved around Erin and her sister. The sister seemed to emphasize Erin's uniqueness. Based on my limited knowledge of Lycans, Erin and her sister posed a threat to those who sought to usurp their kingdom. Being the rightful heirs to the throne, their royal blood granted them strength. However, I couldn't help but question if there were other reasons behind the witches' attempts to protect Erin. It seemed my understanding of the kingdom's history was not entirely accurate.

As I learned about the tragic events, a sense of strangeness washed over me. The sight of the King and Queen, the most powerful Lycans, being killed over a peace treaty with my kind was unsettling. The problem was, the Lycans had always kept to themselves. Their kingdom was shrouded in mystery, and there was much we didn't know about them.

What intrigued me was Erin and her sister, or perhaps just Erin alone. There was something special about her, something I already knew. I believe The Lycan council had discovered this and sought to possess or even eliminate her. She posed some sort of risk, although I couldn't quite grasp what that was at the moment.

The downfall of the royal family seemed to be connected to Erin. Witches weren't known for aiding our kind unless someone carried a special destiny or power. I believed Erin possessed that power. The tracker failed to kill her, so he tried to break her instead. They didn't want her to embrace her power or undergo the transformation. The witches seemed to share this sentiment.

Their actions, disguised as protection, were only causing harm. Stalling her transformation wasn't helping her; it was only holding her back. They could have kept her in a more secure location and trained her to be strong, to fight for herself. That might have even lessened the impact of what the tracker did to her. Instead, they treated her like a prisoner. Perhaps they were even using her.

No matter the true reason for her vulnerability, I was determined to protect and stand by Erin. As mates, we had a unique bond. We could communicate mentally and share memories and images. Once we reached the arranged apartment, I wanted to help her remember more, one step at a time.

"Tell me, Erin," I asked, "are you comfortable being this close to me? With me holding you and kissing you?"

"Yes," she admitted, her voice filled with a mix of fear and trust. "You're the only one I feel comfortable with. Even though you frighten me at times, I can easily find peace in your presence."

"Good," I said, a wave of relief washing over me.

"Thank you for showing me all of this," I said with a genuine smile. As I spoke, the doorbell chimed, interrupting our conversation. This time, however, I was expecting the clothing I had selected for her to be delivered, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Gently moving her from my lap, I made my way to the door. Grabbing the packages, I brought them inside, feeling the weight of them in my hands. Returning to the table, I saw her happily eating the soup, and it warmed my heart. "I am going to pack some things so we are ready. Relax while I am," I reassured her.

Walking to my room, I reached under my bed and retrieved a few bags. As I packed, my eyes fell upon another box I had hidden away. Pausing for a moment, I hesitated. "You know, we should not hide who we are from our mate," Max's voice echoed in my mind.

"That's the old us," I replied simply, my tone firm.

"Is it? Yes, you may have used it to keep from being touched, but remember, I know everything you think. And you want this with our mate as well. You blame wanting to touch and hold her all the time on me, yet it is you too," Max argued.

Letting out a sigh, I couldn't deny his words. "I can't hurt her. We can't hurt her," I confessed to Max, my thoughts filled with worry. Just then, Erin walked into the room, catching me in the act of hiding the box.

"River, why do you have those?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity and a hint of concern. Turning towards her, I could sense her discomfort, knowing that asking this question was a step outside her comfort zone.

"You have a ton of different restraints. I saw the box accidentally. I know I am naive in many ways, more so than I should be for my age. But that stuff, it's for s*x, right?" she inquired, her voice gentle yet filled with uncertainty.

"Yes," I admitted, my voice tinged with vulnerability. I had promised myself to be open with her, and now that she was asking, I couldn't hide the truth. Motioning for her to sit down, I placed my hand on the bed, feeling its softness beneath my palm. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for an honest conversation.

"I'll be honest, I did not want you to see this," I confessed, my voice filled with regret.

"Why?" she asked, her tone slightly worried. "River, do you like bondage? I think that's what it's called," she questioned, her voice gentle yet curious.

"I don't know," I admitted, my voice filled with uncertainty. "I don't even know if you can call this that... our kind, well, many are only ever intimate with our mate. I honestly wish I could say that for myself as well, although I can say you feel like no one else has, to the point it's addictive. But I also worry about that, as I don't want to overdo it with you."

I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. "I guess it started with not wanting to be touched. I started going into ruts after I sensed you. I would sense your panic, and even that confused me since you did not have my mark yet. And then, when I couldn't find you... well, that drove the wolf side of me wild. I'm ashamed I even had to go out and hook up, I guess that's a good way of putting it. I mean, I never forced anyone, but it was emotionless s*x. Yet, I needed control, and restraining those I was with gave me just that. It was the only thing that calmed me."

"f**k," I muttered under my breath, frustration evident in my tone. I wasn't good at explaining this, and I was really trying my best with her. "I didn't want these with you. I actually told myself I would toss the box the first night you were here, but I can't get myself to do it," I confessed.

"Do you want to use them with me now?" she asked, her voice trembling a little, her fear mirroring my own worries.

"I... I'll let you if you need to," she then said, catching me off guard. I shook my head.

"You are helping me, and you already have," she stammered a little, her words filled with sincerity. "So, I want to help you too. I told you I'm comfortable with you, and, well, if that is something that makes you feel good or you need to do, I'm willing to try or let you."

"You are perfect, Erin. You really are," I said, my voice filled with genuine admiration. "Just your willingness to even accept that side of me means a lot. And I will pack some of it, but with you, if I ever do use it, it has to be with your permission and understanding. I'm sure it's easy to tell noI fear losing you, I fear doing something wrong. I don't ever want to be the one who breaks you. I love you. You're the only one I have ever loved, the only one I ever want to be with, and the one I can never let go. Yet, I hope you don't feel trapped with me saying that, with the knowledge that I can't let you ever leave me, even if that makes me sound bad," I confessed to her, baring my soul.

"I doubt I ever will feel trapped with you, River. You have already freed me from being trapped in my own body. All I have known for four years is fear. Not just that, I felt like everyone was out against me. No one was really helping, and that only terrified me more. Yet, you saw past my brokenness. We are mates, and I believe that. I feel it. I've believed everything you've told me, surprising even myself. But still, you could have rejected me. I mean, apparently, I am a lot of trouble, although I doubt you will ever admit that to me. I'm in danger. I mean, I always knew I was, as I've been able to feel it, sense it. That was part of my fear. And well, I'm not easy to be around. I know that. Even with you, I am struggling at times to get my fears under control. Yet, you're patient with me, so I want to be who you need as well. The voice in my head, the one you claim is my lycan, she says you need to hold, to touch, to be closer. I'm okay with that. I think I also need that as well. Your touch, I like it. It not only feels good, but it's... well, you may think me strange, but it's the only time I feel calm. So you can do what you want and need with me. I give you permission," she said.

She really had no clue how bad I could be. Otherwise, I doubt she would have given permission like that. But so far, I've been good with her. "Your touch calms me as well, but be careful giving me permission, Erin," I said as I leaned closer.

"Why?" She asked.

"I'm pretty sure I would be keeping you naked most of the time, just so I could continue admiring that delicious body of yours and the way it moves. But don't worry, Erin. I'm going to be good with you," I said as I got up. "I should get a little work done, and then we will finish packing. Tomorrow will be a long day, but don't worry, I'll be with you the entire time, keeping you safe," I said and then left the room. If I didn't, I would be getting lost in her body again, and I knew she still needed to recover from our last encounter