Love Or Death?

Nine

My heart was one beat away from breaking through my ribs, the shot from earlier rallying up the few crumbs of food left in my system.

“Landry? How? He’s dead! More than dead if that even counts,” I mumbled out of breath to myself. I closed my eyes, clutching my chest while taking deep breaths to calm myself down before Devina came up.

Probably it was a lookalike, it definitely could have been Landry. I tried to lie to myself that Devina saw wrong but, as much as I don't like to admit it, she has never gotten anyone or anything mixed up in all my years of knowing her.

I adjusted immediately, trying to take a less frightened position as she walked in with the tray of saucy Chinese. She had a smile on, quickly replaced by a weird one accompanied by frowned brows once she laid eyes on me.

She set the tray on the floor because we always eat Chinese on the floor because of how saucy it gets. My excitement took over my fright, quickly rushing to join her on the floor but I guess she had caught on. Every move, she traced me with her eyes with the same happy but confused expression.

“Is everything alright?” she asked with a mouth full, “You look kind of…pale.”

I took one more dumpling in my mouth, glancing at her from the corner of my eye, “Yeah,” I shook my head, “I'm totally fine, it's probably just hunger.”

“You didn't eat on the date?”

“Not much, I was still starving but I tried to pity his pocket because it was kind of an expensive place,” I lied through my nose.

“Hmm,” she nodded, “why do I have a feeling you didn't expect me to see Landry?”

Was it that obvious? “Ah, well,” my voice cracked unprovoked, “After we stopped talking, he kind of just disappeared so I'm really shocked to hear he's still in town.”

“Interesting,” she said blankly, focusing on the food in front of her.

I couldn't take it, the question lingered in my mind. It's very possible she just saw someone else, at this point, even if she hesitated a little or showed the littlest sign of doubt, it'll ease my sanity a bit, “Are you sure you saw him though? I mean it could be someone else.”

She sighed, dropping her chopsticks to press her palms together against her pursed lips, “I swear on everything we believe in, I saw this man. It was even the exact same clothes he was wearing the day he came over here he was wearing today.”

Her certitude was gut-turning, I felt the world sink with questions before me but I couldn't show it. I couldn't afford to let her as much as suspect I care about Landry anymore.

We sat in silence, eating the rest of the tray together. If only she knew how much I wanted to tell her everything, how much I didn't want things to be like this, how I could just spill every day at her feet and itching ears like we always used to. I can't, I don't want to risk her life by letting her know all this, she wouldn't even believe me. Plants that kill men through their p***s, where in the world does that happen?

I laid beside her, cuddled up in the blanket with my back facing hers. I tried to banish the crazy thoughts that ran through my head but I couldn't. It couldn't have been face surgery because I saw his face melt, quite literally disintegrate before my eyes. I needed an explanation unfortunately before I would be able to sleep.

I stood gently off the bed, placing the duvet gently back on the bed. I tiptoed, holding my slippers in my hands to not make noise as I closed the door as quietly as I could behind me.

I scrolled through my phone, looking for Jack's contact.

The phone rang once, twice, he picked up luckily at the third ring, “Can't a man get some shut-eye, it's 12 am!” he sounded quite awake to me, I could hear the obnoxious chatter and giggles from the girls who were awake at the background.

“What the f**k Jack?” it came as a sharp whisper, quiet enough to not wake Devina but loud enough to pass the fury that was in it.

“Someone's a little feisty tonight, what happened? You're having nightmares?” I heard him chuckle lightly, it boiled my blood.

“Is this some sort of joke or you weren't going to tell me? Tell me why in the bloody f**k did Devina see Landry… oh by the way, that's supposed to be dead?” My heart raced, blood rushing with anger, looking back to make sure she wasn't there.

“There's not much of an explanation needed, peach. When millionaires like Landry die of such causes, it's a process. We can't just dump the body, someone that looks a f*****g lot like him would come in his place,” he chuckled like he cracked the joke of the year.

“It's necessary, then he leaves a suicide that can only be found by an employee like a week after he started suspecting. By then, his melted face would make sense because of the ocean’s turbulence.”

The thought of it had my Chinese hanging on a thread to my stomach. I took a deep breath, not able to fathom what he had just said, the silence between the lines was enough evidence.

“Just get some rest, you're coming here tomorrow. Devin is coming to pick you up at 6, no mission for now, just come casual so we can talk. I'll hand you a bit of cash with your rent, just send your account details. Goodnight, Zipporah!” he seemed rather happy with himself before hanging up right as I was about to open my mouth.

I sighed, rubbing my palms over my face. I went over to the fridge, dropping my phone on the couch. I wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway so I rather just drink myself to it while watching TV.

I poured myself a glass, staring forward dumbfoundedly till the small glass started to pour, “s**t,” I mumbled to myself, groaning silently as I quickly grabbed a rag to clean up.

I sighed, placing the rag in the sink so I'll remember to wash it in the morning, carrying the glass, the bottle, and some grapes then placing them on the center table. I turned on some Netflix, taking the grapes piece by piece then a glass of the harsh whiskey, leaving the sharp, sour taste in my mouth. I took another, then another, then another, until I felt my brain disconnect from my body after the fifth.

The world spun in my eyes, I felt quite sleepy but also very drunk, knowing if I even attempted to climb that flight, Devina would be woken up by the sound of my hurling on the floor. I decided it'll be best for myself and her for me to take a cacoon position on the couch. I reached under, patting the cold hardwood till I touched the blanket I then used to cover myself, giggling to myself at how many times I slept off on my couch that I had to leave a blanket underneath.

"Shit...I am drunk as f**k!"

~

It felt like 20 pigs using pitchforks to stab my brain.

I rubbed my temples, my very body pinning me back down on the couch. I groaned in pain, hoping Devina was still home because I couldn't possibly raise my head.

I don't even remember having as much to drink to put me in such a state. I reached for my phone lazily, 8:45 am the time read before I started to scroll, groaning repeatedly at the blinding brightness, not having the brain to reduce it just yet.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Her voice echoed in my ears like an angel that came down to help me. I thanked my stars quietly, hissing, blocking my eyes with my palms to block the lights she had just turned on, “When did you leave the bed?”

“A bit after you slept,” I mumbled, trying to put on an innocent face as she picked up the a little less than half bottle of whiskey on the table, quite unimpressed as I read on her face, “About that–”

“Mind talking about it? Because I don't know when we started keeping secrets,” her voice was rather stern, still filled with pity in between the disappointment.

I sighed, “It has just been, you know, quite rough since not having a job, and losing my sugar daddy in a matter of a week. I've been suppressing it all but I guess truly–” my voice began to crack, tears I don't know where from started streaming down my face.

I clenched my aching heart, sobbing bitterly into Devina's shoulder as she rubbed my back, “E-everything just became too d-difficult all of a sudden, you know?” I dragged my nose, her hushes in my ear as I sobbed made me cry even more. She felt like she knew why I was crying but she didn't and I hated myself for that, I hated Jack for that, I hated Landry for that.

“How about we head to the waffle house this morning, hmm? Get ourselves a little treat.”

I nodded, “What about work?” I asked, letting myself linger in her embrace.

“I'll call in sick.”

“You don't have to do that.”

“I'll do anything for my favorite zipper,” my cheeks reddened, heart feeling full again, “come on now, let's get you un-hungover and ready.”

She raised me off of her chest, my head spinning like it was about to fall off my neck as I sat up, “s**t, my head!” I winced in pain.

“You'll live,” she said bluntly with an eye roll.