From Rome with love

10: Accepting a date

*Dahlia*

 I am laying on the bed, crying into my pillow. I had been stupid thinking that Bren and my friendship might be growing into something else. It had been so refreshing that he did not treat me as a prize to be won, but as an equal person. Well until he basically told me that he had bought me… for a dinner.

 I had told myself that I could do this without getting my feelings entangled. I mean it was a long time ago I had a crush on Bren. Unfortunately I have to admit that all those feelings are already stirring. I mean how can I not fall for him ? He is the sweetest, most caring, funny, passionate man I have ever met.

 Bren always makes me feel special, not because of the way I look, but for being me. He makes me feel that it is okay to be myself… always. But I mean he has never seemed to want to be more than friends, and has never hintet of any deeper feelings.

 My phone buzzes and it turns out to be a text from Alessio. I had given him my number because he Said that he wanted to invite Bren and me to a charity event next week.

 He is asking if I changed my mind regarding the date. He had asked me out, but I had said no, I mean even if it is just a date it would feel a bit weird, knowing that it was someone else I wanted to go out with. But Bren had just kind of squashed that hope.

 *Bren*

 I am pacing the living room, shaking my head at myself. What an i***t you are Bren. What a way to show her that you care about her, telling her that she can be bought with a dinner. A dinner I insisted on paying for. I think I just blew every chance I ever had with her.

 No matter what, I need to go apologise, it was not okay what I said, it wasn't called for. Now looking back I know it was my jealousy and insecurities talking. She hadn't really ignored me. Yes, she had talked with Alessio quite a lot, but she had tried to include me too.

 "Dahlia, can I come in darling ? I need to speak with you". I knock gently on the door and hear a soft okay, so I open the door.

 She looks up at me, and it is clear to see that she has been crying, which makes me feel even worse. "What is it Bren ?"

I hurry over to sit on the bed beside her, taking her hand. "I am so sorry darling. What I said, it wasn't okay at all and I didn't mean it. Please forgive me".

 "You really hurt me Bren, I never thought I would hear something like that from you. I thought we were friends". She says, biting her lips, like she is scared she will start crying again.

 "We are Dahlia. I don't know what went wrong in my head. What I said, it was so mean and I didn't mean it". I look at her pleadingly. "I might have gotten kind of jealous that you paid so much attention to Alessio".

 She turns slightly, placing her head in my lap, looking up at me. "But I was just talking to him, I even turned down going on a date with him.. Well until he wrote and asked again".

 "So.. you are going on a date with him ?" I can hear the slight shaking of my voice, but I manage to keep control of myself this time. Reminding myself that she is doing nothing wrong, I should have told her about my feelings, it's my own fault he asked her out first.

 "It's just a date, tomorrow. I mean he helped me and he seems nice". She says, sounding slightly unsure. 

 "And rich, famous and hot right ?" It slips out before I can stop myself and she instantly pulls away. I gently stop her. "Sorry.. I didn't mean that.. just be careful, European men tend to take dates much more serious than Americans"

 She looks at me and I realise she is scared to make me angry, and I swear to myself that she will never feel like that again. "Bren is it okay ? I can cancel it, I mean I am here with you, so leaving you alone would be unfair".

 "No, it's fine darling. Go on the date, have fun. I can be on my own for one evening". I tell her, while my inner voice goes, ‘not too much fun, please not too much’.

  "It's just a date. I'll be home early I'm sure". She says, har arms folding around my waist and I can't stop myself from running my fingers through her hair.

 I want so badly to kiss her right now. But it would be such a bad time, so instead I say. "I hope so. And if there is anything, anything at all, call or text me. If you need me to come get you or you need me to call you so you can get out of the date".

 "You are my hero, you know that right ?" She is looking up at me and I can't help thinking that there is so much more I want to be, but I also know that I can't push it. If I told her now she would just think I tried to keep her away from Alessio.

 I lean down, kissing her forehead. "You better go to sleep now, see you tomorrow my beautiful".

 "Sleep well my hero". She says with a tired smile. 

 I get up, gently placing the pillow under her head and tucking the blanket around her, leaving another kiss on her forehead. "Sweet dreams darling".

 Then I leave her, closing the door behind me, sure she is already asleep, knowing that I won't get much sleep.