It's Always Been You (Book 1)

five

Lyell p.o.v

Today should be the best day of my life. Finding your mate is a cause for celebration and it makes us complete, for me though, it has completely ruined my life. How the hell is my mate a male? I am not gay. I have never been into men. I love women. Is this a joke from the moon goddess? Maybe I am being punished for sleeping around. Damn. Then Josh leaves with who I assume is his mate. My Alpha is a saint. He doesn't take girls home or sleep with random girls. I didn't even get a good look at her or get her name. Our future Luna. I can't pay attention to what everyone is doing or saying. I look at them and walk away. This can't be happening to me. I don't know what to do. The girl Chase left with said they all went to school together and that's about all that I got. He probably isn't 18 yet because he hasn't recognized me as his mate or he is doing the same thing as me, avoiding it all together. Creed Howls in pain. MINE my wolf says. No Creed, there's been a mistake. I tell my wolf. He is so upset. No mistake go to mate claim him he's mine. I don't care that he is a male. Moon goddess makes no mistakes. Creed growls at me. I sigh my family will kill both him and I if they found this out. My parents are just like Josh's grandparents. They choose your mate for you. Great if he isn't 18 yet, I just have to stay away until I find someone to mate and mark. Okay I can do this. I walk around and go into the bar. I need to get away his scent is overwhelming. Girls come up to me, but it feels wrong now. I am leaving for a couple of years for training so all will be fine. I just have to find a female to mate and mark and never see this guy ever again. NO MINE, stop this foolishness go claim mate. Creed barks out at me. He is so pissed and isn't agreeing with me marking someone else. He doesn't get it though. My family will disown me. so you rather be miserable without mate? Creed asks. I just sigh. I don't even know what to do or think at this point. I'm sure my wolf is confused just like I am. No, I take that back, he isn't confused he claimed Deacon as soon as we laid eyes on him. I sigh. I can't take this, so I just start drinking. Josh told us to keep guard, but his ass left and I need to forget this ever happening. Ashley some w***e I have slept with comes up to me and starts grinding on me and kissing my jaw and neck. She wants to f**k. Maybe that's what I need. A release maybe it will help me forget. "NO" yells Creed "Go back outside, go to mate now." "no Creed, I'm not gay" I respond to him. "Goddess makes no mistakes" he yells back. "Want to get out of here?" Ashley whispers in my ear. "Yeah let's me just get Chase, come on." I drag her ass out of there. I go back to where the group is. I look at my mate and f**k this mate bond makes you feel things. He looks up at me then at who is holding my arm and that look he gives. Maybe he does feel something. He looks at me again and then walks away looking disgusted. f**k.

Deacon p.o.v

Growing up I always knew I was different. The only person who knows this is Nicky. She is the only person I trust with any and everything. Bella is my friend as well, but she's more Nicky's best friend than mine. Last year I came out and told Nicky that I didn't think I was attracted to females. I told her I thought males were cute. She never judged me. She said she was happy that I was honest and told her and to just stay true to myself. That she loved me no matter what gender I was attracted to. Thank goddess for Nicky. She is literally an angel sent from up above. I told her I was afraid to tell my family. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. 4 years ago, my older brother Santiago's mate was killed. No-one knows how or what exactly happened. I was young, but I remember that she was pregnant, and her body being dumped on our pack border. My brother flipped. He became cold, mean and distant. My parents, especially my mother was so heartbroken. She and his mate didn't always get along, but my mom was happy about the baby. Will she be upset to know that I am gay and can't give her the grand pups she has been wanting for so long? Santiago hasn't looked at any other female since. I know my parents want him to move on and have a family. They want an heir, grand pups, lots of them. How can I disappoint them even more by revealing this secret? Nicky says they will accept me and be happy for me, but I don't know. She says there's ways for me to have my own kids. I can even adopt, but I'm afraid of my parents rejecting me for it. Today we met some males, and I was instantly attracted to 1 of them, but by the look of him he isn't into males. He has this girl hanging off his arm. I have to get out of here. Ugh why did Nicky and Bella ditch me for his friends? Today of all days. I'm just going to go home and see if Santiago and Kian want to shoot some pool or something. Growing up Nicky had the biggest crush on my brother, we used to joke about her ended up as my sister and that's why we got along so well. When Santi brought his mate home, she never brought it up again. I would love for her to be my sister now. I didn't get a good vibe from this guy she took off with. I should have followed her after she didn't listen to me about not going with him. Ugh I'm so stupid. Maybe I should go ask Santi for advice.

Nicky p.o.v

Why do I feel so comfortable around Joshua? He brought me to his favorite spot which is a beautiful lake. With the moonlight the water looks a bit silver. It's a breath-taking view. We talk all night. He is very sweet and listens to everything I have to say. I decided that I want to be a little rebellious during my school break and before I graduate, turn 18 and find my mate. We agreed to just get to know each other as we are, but not go into anything personal. No pack talk, no ranks, no family, no anything. All we know about each other is our first names and our ages. He knows my birthday and that my grandmother died, but that's as personal as it has gotten. We are going to live in the moment and that's what we do. Time flies and before I know it is almost 5am and I have to go home. I don't want to leave him, but I have too. Ugh. We decide to meet up again tonight. He asked me where he should drop me off, but I don't want anyone from the pack to know about him or me hanging out with a male all night and Kiki freaking out, so I ask him to drop me off at a coffee shop that is close to our territory. I'll text Deacon to pick me up. We get to the coffee shop, and he keeps asking if I'm sure that's where I want to be dropped off. I tell him yes and wave him off, but he grabs my hands, and he kisses my cheek. I instantly blush. He lets me go and waves bye and leaves. I turn around and sigh. Now to wait for Deacon.

Joshua p.o.v

I drive away and I feel like I am leaving a part of me at that coffee shop. The night was so perfect. She's so perfect. Besides telling me her grandmother died, her age and her name she didn't give me much more info about herself which sucks. I want to know everything, but I know I can't tell her we are mates just yet. She said she wants to do things different and live in the moment so I will go along with whatever she wants. At least for now. That's fine by me, but before I leave for training, I have to at least find out where she lives so I know where to come get her from when I return. Maybe I can convince her to move into my territory. I have a couple of weeks to convince her though. Before I leave she will know that we are mates and hopefully agree to whatever I ask her. I sigh. I just left her and I already can't wait to see her again tonight.