Dear Boss

Chapter 5: Letters Never to Receive

Dear Boss,  

Antonio is adamant that I write everything down. He insists that many forget his wise teachings and important instructions. Antonio also said something about how writing things down enhances memory. How he knows that, I’ll never know. I personally think it’s a loose end. What if someone outside the family finds my notes? It would endanger everyone but then again, the instructions change daily. The only thing that’s kept the same is how the Don likes his coffee and how early he wakes up. I wouldn’t question him though. What he says is right. I’ve lived by that rule my whole life. 

I have never needed to have things written down. Not when I’m in the front lines. No. Especially not there. I’ve been in the front lines for a very long time. I’ve learned to remember everything. When I was in the warzone, you’re given commands in the midst of battle and you remember those without fail or die. 

We’ve only met once but the need to report to you is strong. As Antonio is expecting that I write things down, I decided to write letters that I will never send to you, Boss. 

Today, I’ve learned that we are permitted to borrow any vehicles available for our personal use. We only have to let Antonio know. 

Antonio eats a lot and talks a lot. He always mentions you. He says you like to eat too. Antonio was never blessed with children which is why he treats you and your brother like his own. He’s your father’s best friend. He knows everything about him but he won't share any of the stories. 

I was tasked to pick up your mother’s groceries. She thanked me. You look nothing like her but also exactly like her if that makes sense. Strange. She gave me a plate full of freshly cooked pasta.

I stayed out with the men most of the day. They showed me everything there is to know about the compound. I won’t write them down. Too risky. 

The men are efficient and direct to the point. I appreciate that. 

My first duty is to stand guard with the others at the gate. Not many cars passed by. Only three. All different cars. All different drivers. All are local faces. Safe. Nothing amiss.

I’m relieved of my duty in the morning. I won’t say when but I was. I didn’t sleep a wink. It felt exhilarating to be on watch again. 

Breakfast is served with the other men at the barracks. I was told not to call it that. Quarters. Men who have their own family are given their own home inside the compound. We are given rooms. Big rooms. Too much space really. I’m hardly there.

Sleep. Five hours until my next shift.

Teo

Dear Boss, 

The men I’ve come to realize prefer morning shift. They like to relax and drink at night. Nothing too bad. 

I’ve accompanied Antonio to your office building. Glass building. Very tall. Very beautiful. Perfect for the Vendittos. He also showed the entire street. All the little things I should know. Yes, he’s still making sure I write things down.

You like Pizza, he said. Pepperoni and mushrooms. Extra pepperoni. Extra everything. No need to pay. The family owns the pizza place. No soda, no alcohol. Only juice and water. 

You’re allergic to something. I won’t say. 

Many know Antonio here. He was allowed to park in the street. All Venditto vehicles are allowed to. 

We drove back to the compound and stopped by several restaurants. For us, he said. He ate most of it on the way home. 

We passed by a flower shop to pick up some for the house. Your mother’s favorite are carnations and lilies. You like tulips and sunflowers. I’ll remember that.

The Don called me to his office today. He rarely calls upon anyone. Usually, he let’s your cousin and other capos give out orders. He wanted to set a meeting with me personally. I understand the significance. I’m to guard you. 

He took one look at me, as if he’s seeing me for the first time as your personal bodyguard and declared me his new enforcer. I answer to him now. No more gate duty. No more details to give. Confidential.

Sleep. Job tomorrow.

Teo

Dear Boss,

Your father is a very direct man but all his orders come vague. He makes gestures that mean a completely different thing and words that aren’t meant to be what he meant. It’s very different from what I’m used to but I learn fast. 

I suspect I’ll make my bones soon. He wants to see how effective I am and how worthy I am of my position. I won’t let him down. I won’t let you down.

He called me ruthlessly and violently effective. For a moment, he contemplated on assigning me to your older brother. I was thankful he thought otherwise. 

My purpose is you. It wouldn’t feel right to work under him when I am meant for you. I can feel it in my bones. I’m not made for anything else. I’m only effective for the purpose of ensuring your safety. 

I won’t make a good man under your brother’s regime. Not when my internal compass has already pointed to you. 

I’ll continue to work hard here while waiting, Boss. I’ll learn everything to be better. 

Sleep. Early morning.

Teo

Dear Boss, 

It’s been a couple of weeks now. Antonio hasn’t been around me much to pester about writing. This is just a habit. 

I accompanied your mother to her friend’s house. Name and location classified. They discuss you and your brother. Your brother needs to have children soon and you… need a husband. Very traditional thinking this friend of your mother’s. She insisted on her son who's a year older than you. Your mother flinched back so hard she nearly fell off her seat. 

He must not be a handsome man. 

I saw him. He really is not a handsome man if he’s a man at all. Evolution did not come easy for him. He doesn’t deserve you. I doubt anyone will be. My standards are too high after I met you.

Your mother shares my same thoughts on the drive back. She thinks you need a strong man but not the type that will hold your brilliance back. I have similar thoughts as well. 

She hopes you come home soon. 

I hope you come home soon as well. I trust your brother is keeping you safe. I hope he is. 

I volunteered to join the night watch after your mother cooked for me. She cooks really well. She says you don’t. She’s worried no one will cook for you.

I do. I can cook for you.

Morning. Breakfast. Sleep. Job in three hours.

Teo.

Dear Boss, 

I’ve noticed something while working with your father. Don’t worry. I’ll look after him. 

I was with your mother again today after working with your father. She was showing me postcards you sent from your travels. You’re misdirecting her or anyone that might see it apart from her. That wasn’t where you were at all. I know because your father told me so. 

You truly are smart. I’ve been told but this is my first hand experience of it. 

I’ve been given more responsibilities today. Your brother’s territory. Not much to do than to show we are still very much there.

I’m told by Antonio they’re beginning to fear me as much as your brother. I highly doubt this. I’ve met Sergio.

I volunteered for night watch. The men are more talkative with me now. More so than before. I don’t talk much but they don’t seem to mind. They speak of an admirer that came for you before. He took one look at your brother and almost jumped the wall. Broke his leg.

Morning. Sleep.

Teo

Dear Boss,

I now know why I enjoy writing letters to you even though you’ll never receive it. Back in the military, we would have mail time where we receive letters from family members and loved ones. I never got any for obvious reasons. I never even got to write a letter. And then there were people that would dedicate time to write them. They’d always have this thoughtful look on their faces, finding the right words to say. I always wanted to be one of those. I also wanted to write for someone.

Now, I can and I like it.

Sleep. 

Teo

Dear Boss,

It’s gotten colder now. It isn’t just the change of season but rather the house feels empty for some reason without you and your brother. I haven’t been around long enough to know what it's like with both of you in there but I can still feel it.

I heard you’re almost done there. It’s been months. I’m prepared to do my real job now. I’ve learned much and if possible have grown more confident in my new purpose. 

I vow that nothing will happen to you and as much as possible if I can help it, we won’t spend this much time apart. It’s hard when I feel responsible for you and only hear news from your father and fractions from your mother.

To sum it up before I destroy this notebook forever, I am completely yours to command.

Teo

Dear Boss,

Today is odd.

I’ve missed places before, missed delicious home cooked food and sometimes- most times in the dead of the night when I can’t sleep- I allow myself to miss my mother but for the first time in my life, I didn’t think I would miss anything more than those three.

Because I think I might be missing you, a lot.

It’s strange. I’ll chalk it up to your sudden departure when we just met or maybe it’s just because you’re my boss and I need commanding?

No.

Whatever it is, one thing is for certain, I do miss you terribly. I have been since the moment you left.

Come home.

Teo

Dear Teo,

I’m writing to let you know that I am finally on my way home. I hope Mama gave this to you in time. She said you always looked eager to hear about my wellbeing. No, it wasn’t obvious. Call it a mother’s intuition. 

Don’t laugh at my postcard. I know what you’re thinking. To answer a question you must have right now, yes. Now, don’t laugh. 

I’m excited to work with you. Antonio and Papa have complimented you plenty. They don’t do that for just anyone. In any case, I hope you’re not overworking yourself. They tell me you have. Sleep more. Eat more. For me.

I’ll see you when I get home.

Ina