The Destiny of the Half-Bloods

Chapter 10

Seraphina:

It’s finally quiet on campus and I’m looking forward to using the time to make uninhibited music. I find solace in this loneliness, mainly because I don’t have to worry about being close to anyone or being touched. Touch is pain.

I look out my window and feel relatively peaceful at the view of a fresh blanket of snow, pure and white without a single footprint in sight. It means that there is not a soul nearby.

Dameon is probably miles away celebrating the holidays with his family. He probably doesn’t even realize how much he hurt me, let alone care about the pain. I sigh at the thought. It's my own fault for allowing someone to break down the walls that I have spent so many years building.

I turn away from the window and look through my drawer for my medication. I have to numb this pain. I throw my head back to help the pills go down my throat, then brace myself on the desk. I need this time alone.

I decide to gather my things to take a hot shower, hoping it will wash away some of these painful memories. I grab a towel and my flip flops, thankful that the bathroom will be empty for a change.

A sigh of relief escapes my lips when I open my door and there isn’t an intimidating neighbor waiting for me. Lamia knows just how to get under my skin, expertly poking at my anxieties. A few weeks of escape from her judging gaze is just what I need. I shake my head in shame, turning away from her door. Why do I let people affect me so much? My footsteps echo through the empty hallway toward the bathroom.

I find the least filthy shower stall and turn on the water as hot as it will possibly go. At least today it won’t run out.

The scalding water feels cleansing on my skin as I wash away the memories of the last few days. I just need to lock it all away, just like the other painful memories of my past.

A small, sharp pain stings my shoulder as the water hits it, but I ignore it. The water’s probably just too hot. I turn it off quickly and gently pat my shoulder dry..

I wrap myself in the towel, thankful that I can walk down the hallway unclothed without shame for once. Most of the other girls in this dorm strut about in their towels proudly, showing off their tanned legs and perfectly lotioned skin. I usually scurry away like a frightened mouse.

I wish I could be more like them.

When I get back to my room, I pull on some leggings and an old shirt that’s baggy enough to swallow me up. Just the way I like it.

I do feel cleaned and mildly refreshed, but I still can’t shake this feeling of lonely dread. It’s almost as if being acknowledged by another person has made my isolation even more painful. Now I know what it’s like to truly connect with someone, and I desperately want to feel that again.

But who am I kidding? It’s never going to happen.

Maybe I just need to make some music, that's the best therapy for me. I walk over to my guitar and grab it, ready to write another sad song. At least now I won't have to worry about being quiet so as not to disturb my neighbors.

I sit down with the guitar in my lap and let the music flow through me, singing every word that comes to my mind.

The words are all about Dameon. Every lyric is about him. His black eyes, his silken hair, and his seductive smile. He's found his way under my skin in a way that nobody ever has before.

I close my eyes trying to blink away the burning sensation that’s taking over them, but his face is there in the darkness The image makes my eyes water and my throat begin to clench. Before long, my feet are trembling.

“Oh no, not another one,” I mutter. I’ve had more panic attacks in the past two days than I usually have in a year.

The trembling continues to grow stronger and stronger until I realize that the floor beneath me is shaking too. Books are already beginning to fall off the shelves by the time I finally force myself into action. I grab my guitar- my only significant possession- and scramble out of the room. Walls are beginning to crack with thunderous booms, and chunks of ceiling are landing all around me like rain. I run for the stairs, barely able to keep my feet beneath me. I suddenly realize that I might not make it out of this building alive. My chest begins to tighten, my face begins to burn and tingle, and I’m paralyzed. I don’t know where to go, or how to escape. I can’t breathe or move, the water from broken pipes begins to rush over my feet. I know I should call for help, but I can’t suck in enough air to make a sound.

“Seraphina!” Echoes a panicked voice behind me. I immediately recognize it at Dameon’s. “What the hell are you doing?!” He splashes towards me through the water and falling debris, and grabs my face in his hands. “Snap out of it! Please!” He shouts at me as everything goes black.