WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT WHEN CARMA'S INVOLVED?

OCHO

THE PRESENT.....

“Allie, from what they can see, I’m having children.”

“There’s more than one?”

“Boys. Three of them.”

“You must tell him. Hazel is a space filler. Travis’s idea, if you must know.”

“How about lunch and then you can tell me what you are doing here?”

In the short time I’ve known the Savage family, somehow we have a longer history. Allie is Alixxander’s older sister. She has always been an advocate for the relationship between her brother and I. Against my better judgment, I got caught up in the family drama and, frankly, I don’t need that in my life. I’d rather raise my children alone than to thrust them into the limelight and destroy their innocence or lives.

BACK TO THE PAST......

My clothing and most of my small trinkets were salvaged from the destruction of the storm, and I managed to get them into my new home safely. New furniture was on the way, but in the meantime, Alixxander and I had a meeting with our client. There was one teensy problem. Alixxander was a no show. I tried calling his office and got his secretary. She was useless. My final course of action was to see his father to find out if I should continue alone.

Walking into the office, people began whispering. My first thought was that someone caught wind of Alixxander working at my place. Exactly what I did not want to happen. Holding my head up, I made my way to my desk. On it was a sealed envelope with the firm's name in bold black lettering. Placing my briefcase down, I picked up the envelope, and noticed the weight of it. My cubby neighbor came over and leaned on my desk.

“They never have the balls to fire us face to face. It must be your severance package.”

I thanked the Lord after she confirmed that’s what the whispering was about. Holding the envelope to my chest, I insisted I needed to have an impromptu meeting with the man in charge. The grin on my face must’ve confused everyone because they were too busy gossiping about me getting canned. When I mentioned the man in charge, I was talking about Alixxander.

Kimmie, his secretary, was nowhere to be found. Alixxander’s office door was slightly ajar, music loudly played. For the very first time, I entered his workspace. What did I see? Glad you asked. Alixxander on a weight bench, eyes closed, breathing heavily. His dark, somewhat curly hair glistered with sweat. The perfectly sculpted, sweat-covered six-pack on his tall but lean frame riveted me. There was no way I could take my eyes off him even if I wanted to. The wild ideas swirling around in my head got me aroused. Never in a million years did I think a man could make my body react in such a way.

My nerve returned and I spoke. “Excuse me, Mr. Savage.” He popped up looking devilishly handsome with that air of mystery and darkness that surrounded him. He wasn’t the same man that visited me at my house after work or the one I spent the day working with. Color me intrigued.

Showing him the envelope, I told him about the rumor. His response, “It’s shameful how gossip knows no bounds. I suggest you go over the documents at home and if everything is to your liking, place your John Hancock on the line.”

I was about to escape when I remembered the meeting he missed that he needed to attend at some point. Wanting to discuss something else, he asked me to close the door. I looked back at it, wondering why it had to be closed. Privacy is the second cardinal rule of being a lawyer. So, I did as I was instructed.

Standing, he looked menacing. In a good way. I gulped. He had no God given right to look the way he did. Why did his fiancé want to screw her ex when she had all of what he is in her life? God, she was absolutely fcking stupid. I remember thinking, “Oh, my God, what was I thinking?” How was he making me feel and think that way? I didn't have an answer.

My breath hitched when he pointed out that I was different from other female colleagues. Rumors circulated about his promiscuity with every skirt his father hired. Yes, he wanted to know if I had heard. It was another side of him that I doubted many saw. I wasn’t sure where he was going with the conversation when he said I was flashy, but not in a way he’s accustomed to. My explanation to him was simple. First, being plump taught me to dress conservatively, and second, I informed him of my lesbianism.

After wiping his face with a towel, he threw it on the floor. My eyes flittered between his face and his abs. Forgive me, I couldn’t get over how tight and perfectly formed they were. There was a moment where I was tempted to ask if they were real and found myself wanting to touch them just to verify it. Sweat continued dripping down his torso. The waistband of his sweatpants absorbed the liquid, and then there was his package. I tried not looking, but his bulge was front and center. As he walked towards me his third leg freely flopped side to side. My brain slipped images of men's junk into my thoughts. I’d seen a few on the naughty films I sometimes watched. Finally, he reached me, and I backed up against the door.

“Do I make you nervous?”

It felt like all the air had been squeezed out of my body. “Yes,” was my breathless reply.

Alixxander’s smile electrified me as he pressed me for an answer on whether I found him attractive or not. I thought, “What the heck? Did I not just tell him I was a lesbian?” As I tried to avoid answering, my assertive tone came out airy instead. When he softly uttered my name, it flowed like liquid gold from his lips. How did he make it sound as if he was caressing my name when he spoke? At the time, I didn’t believe I was attracted to him in the way he wanted me to be. Even if I was, he was spoken for.

Putting his arm above me on the door, he leaned closer. I prepared myself for the possible odor coming from him, but I smelled nothing except cologne. And when he smiled, oh Gawd. He stressed the fact that all rumors about him were made up by him to keep the unwanted and unworthy away. I got it the first time; the rumors weren’t true. It was at that point Alixxander kissed me with no warning. I could not stop myself from kissing him back...... It was like someone jumped into my body and took over. My hands snaked their way from his muscular shoulders into his damp hair. His sweaty, naked torso pressed against me. What I was doing wasn't right or normal. That isn't who I am as a person. Let’s not forget his engagement for fck's sake. I eventually found the courage to push him away and protested what had occurred.

He inquired again, “Do you find me attractive?” Maybe if I told him the truth, he would let me go.

“You are very sexy. For a man.” There. I said it.

My answer should have been the end of whatever was happening. But he wanted to know what, if anything, I liked about him. Honestly, in the brief time I’d spent with him, I found him to be extremely intelligent. He was blessed with picturesque forest green eyes, and it frightened me to think they could look deep into my soul and find my demons. In the looks department, he was exceptionally gifted, and he knew it. From what I could see, he liked to keep himself in shape purely for attention. His true personality had yet to shine through though. If he had one. There was no denying how badly I wanted to know more about him. Then it hit me. What the fck did my mouth say aloud?

Rattled and waiting patiently for him to say something was agonizing. That mysterious smile, it hid his demons very well. How could a man so popular be shrouded in mystery? Not another word was spoken between us before his hand hooked around my neck and our lips were back together. Again, I could not resist him. I didn't want to either. While kissing my neck, he admitted to wanting to get to know me more as well. For men, that usually meant one thing. I did my best to turn myself off to his pleasure-filled advances. ENGAGED roared in my head for crying out loud. But I ignored it. He’s the boss. No matter how good kissing him felt, it was wrong. Nibbling my ear, his hot breath sent chills all over. Then he became your typical man after admitting to wanting to fck the sh*t out of me. Only not in the conventional way. No matter what he meant, it was far from appropriate. Before I could reply, he told me to think it over and walked back to his workout bench. For me, there was no escaping fast enough.

An hour later, Kimmie sent an email letting me know the meeting had been rescheduled for the afternoon. During this meeting, I pictured Alixxander’s naked torso and so much more. After the meeting was over, I feigned sickness and rushed home.

Bolting my house door, I leaned against it and sunk to the floor. My life became wildly inappropriate the second I chose not to stand my ground and refuse Alixxander. I ran a bath, adding lavender oil. I’m gonna get real with ya. Here's the deal, my virginity was not lost or taken by normal methods. From the age of ten, I knew which gender I was attracted to. As I aged into the land of hormones, I didn't know how I was going to go about the popping of my cherry. After my first unbelievably short relationship with a woman, I knew what came between us and what needed to be done for future relationships.

I graduated high school, moved into my own apartment, and was still a virgin. Wanting to rid myself of my cherry, I did the oddest thing and visited an adult toy store. I purchased an imitation man with a suction cup at the bottom. After multiple times of trying and failing, I seriously entertained the idea of allowing a man to pin me down beneath him because the good Lord knows he would not let anything stop him from devirginizing a female. No man will refuse when it comes to stickin’ it in a hole. Eventually, I mustered the courage to get it over with. I will say it became my favorite toy after that.