My Mafia Heart

Chapter 4

I woke up to the sun shining in the room bright, almost blinding. I sat on the side of the bed and quickly realized I wasn’t in the room alone. He was sitting in this lounge chair that was next to the window drinking coffee. “Good morning, Mi Amore.” He says as he takes a sip. “Morning” I whisper hoping he wasn’t really there. “I know you heard the commotion last night; would you like to talk about it?” he says still staring out the window. “What commotion? I didn’t hear a thing.” I lied and said hoping to move past this, I know I wanted to ask him about it but now I don’t, I would like to forget it ever happened. “Lying to me won't make this any easier. She’s my ex-fiancé, and we broke up 8 months ago to be exact. After I met you, I had some issues with her coming back around. Hopefully, last night was the last I’ll hear from her. I’m sorry.” And with that, he then gets up and walks out of the room. The room now felt colder than before like words are forgotten to be said are freezing in time. I got dressed, packed my bags and headed downstairs. He was sitting in the living room fully dressed as well as if he knew what I was doing. I just walked out of the house and down the steps to the car that was waiting for me. As I ascended down the stairs it was raining and it was the perfect way to hide the tears that had begun to roll down my face, sneaky little bastards. He never came out of the house, never got into the car it was just me, I was taken home. When got into the house I prayed mom wasn’t home because I honestly didn’t want to talk or have to explain anything. I took a hot shower and then went to sleep.

A few weeks have gone by and no sign of him. I knew it was too good to be true, I knew we weren’t compatible, but I continued to be delusional as usual. I went to work, maybe more than usual taking extra shifts I guess so that I would stay busy. I can’t seem to stop thinking about him, he’s in my dreams and it causes me to break down and cry every time he enters my mind. Why the f**k do I feel this way? We didn’t have s*x, we weren’t really dating, we just met and I’m having a broken heart over him… I just need to get myself under control… this is the s**t I tell myself daily and it never makes a difference.

I was lying on the couch for the millionth day in a row watching 50 shades for grey, I never understood why she left him, but I see that her leaving him was for the best because when he came back, He was ready for a REAL relationship, and the doorbell rang. It was raining out like tropical storm raining and there he stood. He was drenched like he had walked here from his house, I peeked out the window contemplating if I should even entertain this and open the door, but my heart was doing backflips and guided me to the door. Before I could even open the door, I heard him start talking, “I love you, Carla… I can’t get you out of my head. I never knew I could fall this hard for someone I had just met, but you are my past, present and hopefully my future. Please open the door” and then I heard a bump against the door, I opened the door to see him leaning against it. “Thanks for opening up, this storm was bound to claim me as a victim.” He smiled and entered the living room. I just stood there at a loss for words, not sure if he was even really standing there or was my mind playing tricks on me again. And here comes the waterworks, I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me and I broke down with tears. I took my spot back onto the couch and went back to my movie. He then took off his coat and leaned over to place his lips ever so gently against my forehead. “Why are you crying?” he asked looking confused, “Because you’re not real. My mind is playing tricks on me again.” I sputtered out as the tears rolled down my face. He then wiped away my tears and got me to sit up, “Baby I’m here, and never again am I letting you go! Do you hear me? You’re mine.” And with that I’m in his warm embrace, realizing my face was actually getting wet from his shirt, I stopped crying and whispered “Giovanni, is it really you?”, “Si, Mi amora. I am right here.” He whispered back while never breaking the hug. “I love you, Giovanni. It’s weird because I didn’t think that it was possible but I do. I can’t stop thinking about you and it makes me miss you more. I never want us to be apart again… It would kill me to have to.” I whispered while lying my head on his shoulder. “Well mi amora, I feel the same way. My home has never felt so empty until the day you left. I never want us to be apart either so I’m thinking why should we… Marry me? Don’t leave me ever again.” He said as he slowly broke our hug to reach into his pocket and pull out a little blue box… “Did you ask me to marry you?” I said surprised staring at this box he was slowly opening, “Si, so what do you say?” he says finally opening the box and displaying the most beautiful ring, “I say YES! A million times YES!” 

He slid the ring onto my finger and kissed me. “Now that’s out of the way we need to talk about that night and day you left. She was my ex-fiancé and refused to let go… which is funny because she left me.” I stared at him with tear rimmed eyes and finally choked up the courage and said what I should’ve said that day… “Why did she leave you? Is your life just that dangerous? Why was she there THAT night? Did you ever reconcile with her? Were you with her this whole time? Please tell me what the hell is going on?” I needed to take a breath, I felt like I was trying to catch my breath. “Whoa, that’s a lot of questions and they all deserve answers. 1. She left me because I was always at work and didn’t make much time for her. Let’s just say I’d rather be at work or better yet ANYWHERE else than in the same room with her after a while. 2. Yes, my life is a bit dangerous. I mean I’m a dangerous man and I never hid that from you. 3. She was there because she was drunk, and every time she gets drunk off her ass, she comes to my house to fight, f***s and then fight again. Since I’ve met you, I haven’t touched her, and that was her problem that night… she was trying to piss you off. 4. I saw her once after you left to tell her if she bothered me again, she’d have more issues than the magazines that cover a doctor's coffee table. We were officially through! And 5. Everything has changed since I met you, I love my life I do but without you in it, it all seems like s**t. I need you.” “Giovanni, I love you. It’s strange that I feel this way. I’ve never met someone who made me feel so happy when I’m with them, I’m at peace with you around. But I don’t think I can continue with the uncertainty. I need to know exactly who you are? And what you do? And why you chose to pursue me of all people?” We sat in silence for a while and after what felt like forever, he mumbled something as if he was talking to himself. “I knew you before you ever noticed me.” He mumbled. “What did you just say speak up?” I said feeling as though I was now suddenly shouting. “I had been following you for a while before the accident. I’ve seen you at the store before and well wanted to get to know you before you met me. So, I had someone get me all your information and give it to me. I’ve been watching you since you were 16 Carla. I’m sorry I know I should’ve told this to you before, but I was nervous you’d reject me.” He said and then slouched back into the couch as if a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. “So, just to be sure I heard you correctly… You’ve been stalking me for the past 2 years? Never said anything just watching me like some creeper? And now you expect me to marry you? WHAT THE f**k?!?!?!” I shouted I think you can see the smoke coming out of my ears now. “GET THE f**k OUT OF MY HOUSE OR IM CALLING THE f*****g COPS CREEP!” I shouted even louder than the last time. I’m furious. He’s weird. I need time to process all of this s**t. Luckily, I didn’t have to shout again, and he got up and left without saying a word.