Who To Love (Completed)

Chapter 1

“What will happen to my son, Doctor?” Mrs. Wu was bawling her eyes out at the doctor as I arrived at the hospital.

Kieran’ss mother called me minutes ago that Kieran wasn’t waking up from his sleep no matter what they did to him and I had to rush to the hospital to know what exactly happened.

How can Kieran not wake up from his sleep? Last night, we were even laughing over the phone. We were even laughing at how funny and adorable Daehan, Minguk and Manse are. He was telling me he wanted to have kids even cuter than the triplets in the future. How come can he not wake up from his sleep?

Did he suffering from something that he didn’t tell me? Is he sick? He didn’t keep something from all of us, did he?

Suddenly, tears flooded my eyes and my hands were trembling nonstop. Just the thought of him being sick is killing me softly. We have a lot of future plans. We’ve planned everything for our own version of “To infinity and beyond”. How can he not wake up now?

I walked to Mrs. Wu and hugged her tight, letting her cry in my arms. If I am this hurt as his fiancée, I could not even fathom how hurt his mother is. She must have been devastated since Kieran is her only son. Kieran is her only child. And now this happened.

I stroked her back as she cried in my arms. I wanted to tell her that it’s okay but as much as I wanted Kieran to be okay, I don’t want to give her false hope. I don’t want to give her false reassurance because it’s going to hurt more if she knew it isn’t.

And from the looks of everything that’s happening now, nothing is okay. Just the mere fact that we are in a hospital is never going to be okay.

“He was eating with us last night. He was very enthusiastic on his new project.” I couldn’t help but cry with Mrs. Wu as she uttered those words. “How can he not wake up the next day?”

I shut my eyes and controlled my breathing. If there should be one person that would stay strong right now, it’s going to be me. I should be strong for Kieran.

I looked up at the doctor who also seemed to be in shock of what’s happening. It seemed like he was also taken aback by this case. “Is he going to wake up soon?” I was hoping he would say yes. I was hoping he’d give me a positive answer. Hell, how could I even stomach a no?

He cleared his throat and looked at me in the eyes. “It’s too early to confirm or deny.” He looked into his records. “We’re still going to run some tests to study his case.”

I nodded and sighed. There is no greater pain than losing your loved one. Although I haven’t really lost the love of my life, just the thought of the possibility of losing him pierces every inch of my heart. Just the thought of living without him is making me shatter into pieces.

“We’ll tell you about the progress.” Then the doctor bowed at us.

I took a very deep breath as I tried to stop the tears from falling form my eyes. But how? How can I stop crying if Kieran is there, lying unconscious for no reason?

Mrs. Wu looked at me. “He’s going to wake up soon, right?” She asked me with tears falling nonstop. Her face is shouting devastation to the point that it made me realize that I should stay stronger.

I smiled weakly and nodded. She hugged me tighter and I shut my eyes, praying to the heavens that my love would wake up soon.

--

I walked by the hospital corridors that same night after convincing Mrs. Wu to go home and rest. After all, she needed strength to face all these. She needed strength. For Kieran.

I couldn’t help but think about the past as I walk by the corridors. I couldn’t help but think about the times that we spent together. I couldn’t help but think about how he smiled at me everything we meet. I couldn’t help but remember how he encourages me when I am feeling down.

To me, Kieran is not just my fiancé. He’s my everything. He’s my best friend, my boyfriend, my brother, my sister, my father and sometimes even my mother. He’s that one person that I wouldn’t want to live without. I don’t even want to blink when he’s right there beside me. I don’t want to miss a thing from him. That’s how I love him.

I chuckled when I remembered how we met. He was so bright that he went straight to the point of telling me he likes me and he didn’t want to beat around the bush. And that note…how could I even forget about that note? I accused him to playing pranks at me but it turned out he didn’t.

Kieran couldn’t even be compared to the brightest star in the Milky Way galaxy. He is the Milky Way galaxy for me. He shines even brighter than the sun and I wouldn’t mind getting blinded by his light.

“Miss?”

I looked up and saw the doctor from a while ago. I smiled weakly and bowed before walking away. For now, I just wanted to be with myself. I wanted to have my own time to reminisce everything and every moment I shared with Kieran.

Just when I was about to turn to the curb to where Kieran’s room is, the doctor called me. “Hey!” I looked back at him and saw him running towards me.

“Yes?”

He sighed. “I know that it’s hard for everything to sink in right now but I just want you to know that you have to be strong.”

I gave him a weird look. Why is he telling me all these?

He took another deep breath. “Look, I don’t know why I’m telling you this but I just felt like this is the right thing to do,” he started. “It actually helps the patient a lot when you tell him stories about how he lived before.”

I raised my brow at him.

He grunted and I almost chuckled at how cute and desperate he looked. “Just be strong for the patient, okay?” His expression was something so funny but then I couldn’t laugh at him right now. He’s giving tips and he’s right. I have to be strong.

“Thanks, Doctor…?” I looked at the name embroidered on his white coat. “…Harold Lee.” I smiled.

He looked at me and gulped as he blinked fast. “Uh…you’re welcome.” He told me stuttering.

I smiled wider. “Ashin Kim,” I stated. “My name’s Ashin Kim.” I introduced myself as I extended my hand to him.

He stared at my hand and reluctantly gave me a shake. “Nice meeting you.” He told me.

I smiled and nodded. “I hope you help Kieran recover fast.” I told him.

He looked at me and nodded. “I would help him with the best of my ability even in this rare case, Ms. Kim.” He was too polite that he even stuttered upon mentioning my surname.

“Ashin,” I told him and he gave me a look. “Just call me Ashin.” I smiled and turned to leave. Just when I was about to take a step forward, I looked back at him and smiled. “Thanks, Doctor Lee.” I smiled and continued to walk to Kieran’s room.

--

Three months later…

“Hey, Love.” I greeted Kieran as I entered his hospital room. He’s still unconscious but everything about him is normal.

I smiled and planted a kiss on his forehead as I fixed his bangs. His hair grew in three months and it’s my last grasp of hope that he’s going to wake up soon. It’s a sign that he’s alive and he’s going to be okay.

“I bought you your favorite albums.” I told him as I played the CD. He loves The Fray and I bought him a couple of their new albums. I smiled as I plugged one earphone in his ear before sitting beside him, holding his hand tight.

I have all the hopes in the world but I couldn’t help but cry when I think of the negative things. No matter how I tell myself to be positive, I couldn’t keep myself from thinking of all the other possibilities.

What if he doesn’t wake up? What if God takes him from me? How would I be able to handle life without him?

I shook my head and kissed his fingers. No. He’s going to wake up and we’re going to have our dream wedding in the wonderful and magical sea in Maldives. He always wanted to visit Maldives because of the magical beach with a glowing blue tide at night. He said he always wanted to walk barefoot as he holds my hand tight under the moonlight.

“You know what?” I chuckled as I started to tell him a story. “Gina and Joshua went to Phuket last Friday.” I continued as I looked at his perfectly carved face. “They even sent me photos from their trip and the beach was amazing. You can never tell that a tsunami stroke the place years back.”

I filled in the gaps in between his fingers with mine and kissed his hand. “You love the beach, right? Let’s go there when you wake up.” I chuckled weakly. “Or maybe we can try to go to Maldives like what you told me. We’ll walk under the moonlight of the magical glowing blue tide hand in hand. I’d tell you how much I love you and you’ll kiss me. Right?”

I swallowed a lump from my throat to prevent myself from choking and sobbing at the same time. Tears are threatening to fall and I can’t stop them no matter how hard I try.

I cried every single night and day in the three months that passed. No matter how I try to be strong in front of everyone, at the end of the day, there is this lingering longing feeling inside me that makes me break into pieces. I am a broken glass glued together to look whole. Pour water into me and I’ll break in an instant.

“I miss you.” Oh, God knows how I’d kill to have him right now. I miss him too much that I would even sell my soul to hell if that’s how I would have him back.

I sobbed loudly as I leaned my forehead on our laced fingers and let all these tears fall. I’ve prayed every day. I’ve longed for him to come back to me. I’ve been patiently waiting for three months to the point that people even ask me if I never get tired waiting. I won’t get tired waiting for Kieran.

I stopped crying when I felt one of his fingers move. I am not hallucinating. Lord, please tell me I am not hallucinating. I stood up and looked at his face. “Kieran?” I spoke as I saw his eye lids move and eventually opened slowly.

I smiled and kissed his forehead. “Kieran!” I spoke excitedly. “You’re awake!”

He narrowed his eyes on me and I think he’s still accommodating to the light as his eyes was closed for three long months.

I smiled widely at him and he just stared at me. No one knows how happy I am to be staring straight back into the eyes of the love of my life right now. I am more than happy, glad, elated, joyful and ecstatic combined all together.

“Who are you?”

Three words and my heart got buried six feet under the ground.