Chapter 3 FORBIDDEN LOVE
1494 Words
ELIAS'S P.O.V
When I returned, I was not expecting what was awaiting me.
"Did you care to read the application? Or better yet, did you see anything other than his face?" Uriah asked as I took a seat at my desk.
"Excuse me?"
I was taken aback by his boldness. He was my father's Beta, after all, so not much intimidated him. But he was never disrespectful.
"That man sitting there is your best friend. He-"
"Had the same face of a man I once knew. That may have been my best friend's face, but it wasn't my best friend." He said, cutting me off.
"How could you say that?"
He sighed as he handed me the papers he had.
"If you didn't see his hand then take a look at the application again. Every box." He said as he left the room. What could I have possibly missed? I wasn't normally one to overlook things.
This time as I read through it, I took my time. That's when I noticed a section filled out that I had skipped. FUCK... How did I miss that?
"Hey. Could you not hear me knocking?"
I looked up to see the beautiful blue eyes of Zola, standing in the doorway.
"Zo," I whispered.
The air shifted just right as she entered the room, making her scent flood my senses. My pants slightly tightened in the nether region, like they normally did while in her presence.
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
I almost forgot what I was panicking about. Almost. The pressure I once felt in my groin was now completely gone when reality forced its way back in.
"Only a face I once knew. Not a ghost." I admitted without giving too much away.
"Care to elaborate?"
I wanted to spill everything. To confide in my person. But for that to happen, I'd have to open up. Something I stopped doing the moment I realized how badly I wanted her. Since then, I distanced myself and pulled away. I did everything I could to make sure that whatever I felt for her would disappear. Only, it didn't. So, now I refuse to be alone with her. When we're alone, I become another person.
"Look Zo, I have a lot to do. I don't mean to push you out but-"
"Yes, you do. That's exactly what you've been doing. You're pushing me away again, at the exact moment you need me the most." She said, interrupting me.
I wanted to deny what I was hearing, but I couldn't because it wasn't a lie.
"Zo. I just can't, okay?"
"I don't understand this, Elias! One minute we are inseparable, talking about our future. And the next thing I know, you're pushing me away. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. Telling myself that you needed time to figure out how to be with me. Then, Irelyn of all people, tells me that you were dating and apparently in love with Shanti."
That wasn't entirely true, Shanti was just a distraction from her. But I could see how much she believed what she heard.
"What do you want me to say, Zo?"
"I want you to tell me the truth." She said as she closed the distance between the two of us.
Now standing mere inches from my face. So close that I could feel heat radiating from her body.
"The truth..." I repeated, like a mockingbird.
"Answer this, if you love Shanti like they say you do, then why is it that anytime we are close your heart spikes and your breaths become raspy?"
She asked while placing her hand on my arm. A simple action that managed to make my heart skip a beat, yet again. Why the hell does she make me feel like this? This is what I would expect a fated mate bond to feel like. But she wasn't my fated mate, so why?
"Do you love her?" Her voice came out shaky and her lips were pouty.
I couldn't resist any longer. I needed her like I needed the air to breathe. I dipped my head in to capture her lips with mine, claiming our very first kiss. At least that was the plan until she stepped backward while shaking her head.
"You deliberately chose to be with someone else after telling me you wanted me. That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that I had been waiting for you for weeks. Thinking you needed time to find a way for us to be together. But I was a fool. I had to find out, through a grapevine I might add, that you have a girlfriend. But that isn't even the cherry on top. No, the cherry is, that after weeks of this s**t, I finally get the nerve to confront you and your response is to try and kiss me?"
The words spoken out loud made me sound like a prick. How did I let it come to this?
"I thought you loved me..." She whispered when I didn't respond.
I do... But I can't. She was the forbidden fruit. The one thing I couldn't have, but desired above all.
"Shanti is a wolf from a powerful family."
I hated the words coming from my mouth. They made me sick to my core.
"So that's it then? What we have, just gone?"
I could see the tears in the corner of her eye, threatening to fall. Before I could stop myself, my hand involuntarily reached toward her face. I had expected her to be distant and cold like I had been. But instead, she leaned into my hand and sighed. I glided my finger across the bottom of her eye, wiping her tears, and then I pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.
"I couldn't do this even if I wanted to, Zo."
The words felt like poison in my mouth. I hated every last one of them. But the truth of the matter was, she would forever be my forbidden love.
"Then why did you tell me that-"
"Because I wanted to f**k you."
The false words left my mouth bitterly. Making Aslan, my wolf, growl in response. The whole 'I can't be with you' wasn't working. What else was I supposed to do to push her away?
"Wha- What?" Her voice came out shaky with her question.
"I mean, you're a virgin at the age of 23. Every man wants you."
If there was ever the possibility of us being together, I just destroyed it. May have even ruined our friendship while I was at it. But if I didn't, she would continue to be my kryptonite. I knew in my heart that she always would be, but at least this way, she would stay away and stop invading my every thought.
"This isn't you. You're only saying that to push me away." She said while trembling.
I forced myself to step back. I couldn't break. I had to remain cold. The only way I could be with her was if I gave up my kingdom and I couldn't do that, so I had to do this.
"What's going on here?" Shanti's voice asked from the now-opened door.
The perfect distraction.
"I was just telling Zola about the seating arrangements for tomorrow."
I hardly ever called her by her first name. I always called her 'Zo'. I could tell that action hurt her.
"What are they?" Shanti asked as she crossed the room to get between Zola and me as fast as possible.
"I have given the girls a table near others their age."
Zola's face fell, a sight I couldn't stand to see. But it had to be done. I had to cut ties before things got too far and I couldn't take them back. I forced myself to break eye contact with Zola to look at Shanti. She had a big smile plastered across her face.
"That would be perfect for them. To mingle and find their own boyfriends or better yet, mates."
Shanti's words did exactly what she wanted them to.
"Have a good night Alpha. Shanti," Zola said before quickly leaving. Her calling me Alpha tore me in half, something I hadn't expected to happen.
"You'd think she'd take a hint," Shanti said, earning a growl from Aslan. "Are you coming to bed anytime soon?"
"You can sleep in your quarters tonight. I won't be going home." I said as I walked past her.
I had to clear my mind. I had to run. Too much happened in a short amount of time. On a normal day, I could handle Zola's appearance. But today I needed her like I used to, only I couldn't fall back into old habits. I had to handle this issue alone. But how do I handle my feelings about my father having an entirely new family, all alone?
- Writer
