Twice Loved by the War God

1 - Memories

I was lost.

I was lost, and I couldn't remember how to find my way back home anymore. It had been so long since I last felt sure on my feet, and I didn't recognize the brambles and thorns that had risen up to carpet the broken path I walked. The dirt road that used to be so familiar was now shattered and cracked like dried desert earth, brown and hard and ugly, parched under the sun.

But it was this way, though, home. It had to be. Why else would I be here?

"...straea. Astraea."

A voice, a familiar one. It came from somewhere ahead of me, calling me forward. I tried to pick my way through the field of black brambles, but suddenly, the thorns came alive, curling and tearing into my skin. I leaped back, flinching away from the sharp, stinging pain that lanced up and down my legs - but there was no longer any ground to tread behind me, nothing but air. A shout bubbled up in my throat, but no sound escaped as I fell backward in slow motion. I couldn't move, couldn't catch myself, and the world flew up all around me in waves of brown and green, which faded and darkened to shades of gray and black as I plummeted headfirst into the darkness -

"Astraea!"

I floundered weakly in the grasp of something that constricted by body from head to toe. Whatever it was, it held me tight, nearly choking the breath out of me. I had no idea where I was or how I had ended up this way, but I wasn't going to go down so easily. Zeus, I thought. Zeus and - something. Now I remembered. He was trying to kill Ares - no, he was trying to kill me. Confusing, jumbled noises, fierce shouting and the cracking of the ground underneath me, and now an enormous serpent rising up to stare down at me with eyes black as the void -

"Astraea, stop! You're hurting yourself, calm down."

I didn't recognize this voice. It was different from the one that had called to me a moment ago in my dream or vision or whatever it was, though this one belonged to a woman, too. Soft and yet somehow strong at the same time, graceful yet firm. I instinctively trusted it, and the instant I registered the command, the panicked, throbbing pace of my heartbeat immediately began to slow.

It took me a moment to catch my breath, and then another to realize that I was caught in a tangle of soft bed covers, not some insidious trap laid by an enemy.

Where was I?

"Oh, you look terrible," the voice clucked at me, and with great effort, I turned my head to see who it belonged to and ask what was going on -

- and promptly forgot whatever it was that I was going to say.

In all my life, I had never seen anyone so beautiful before. There was no way to describe what exactly it was that made her so captivating, just that everything was perfect in every way no matter where I looked. Soft brown hair that rippled down in waves around a slender, heart shaped face, pretty dimples that framed a graceful, pink lipped smile, eyes of a startlingly light brown hue that looked wonderfully unearthly. I couldn't look away, and as I continued to stare up at the woman, I felt my jaw drop open. I must have looked like an i***t, lying useless and weak on a bed as I goggled open-mouthed at her.

But she looked away and began tugging the tangled covers away from me instead. "That's enough," she said in a firm voice braced with a little impatience. "If you're finally awake, then we need to keep you that way. Up, up!"

Who was this woman? I had no idea, but even so, I didn't hesitate to obey her command. All I knew was that despite every inch of my body feeling as if it were about to burst into flames or shatter into pieces, I had to do exactly as she said so that she would be pleased with me.

"Wait - not like that, just sit up for now. I need to grab those things first before you start jumping around. Don't want you taking a nasty spill, do we?"

Again, I immediately obeyed and stopped trying to leap to my feet, choosing instead to sit quietly on the bed as she leaned over to fetch a pair of simple, curved wooden crutches from the wall. They were topped with angular V-shaped supports, no doubt intended to fit under my arms so that I could walk around - and despite being utterly hypnotized by the woman, I was still aware enough of my condition to know that I would absolutely need the help.

"I said, that's enough. Wake up, pay attention!"

I jumped a little when the woman snapped her fingers in front of my face several times in quick succession. I'd been so dazed that I didn't even realize she was holding the crutches up and waiting for me to rise. "Sorry," I mumbled. "I just -"

"I know, I know. Don't have to explain. But you must be doing even worse than I thought you'd be, if you're this affected."

Affected? What was she talking about? I wobbled to my feet with great effort and peered up at her with curious, confused eyes - wow, she was tall, too. I felt like a misshapen dwarf before her.

"What do you mean? Affected how?"

"By my Aspect, what do you think?" She frowned at me as if there were something wrong with me. "Hold on, watch yourself. Now come with me. We need to get you moving as soon as possible and start building that body back up."

I was so confused. I didn't know who this woman was, and I didn't recognize this place either. Now that my mind was finally starting to clear, I was beginning to remember pieces of what had happened - but wait. I had last been in the House of Olympus, at the very peak of the Mount as I went head to head with Zeus. This place was nothing like it. Plain, wooden walls and a low ceiling, and a stone floor that felt neither smooth nor level under my bare feet. Or maybe I just didn't recognize it because I was so disoriented and -

My eyes widened, and I nearly toppled back into the bed before I even took my first step forward.

"Ares!" I exclaimed. "What - where is he? What's happened to him? I - where's Ares? And my mother. She's here, isn't she? Or did Zeus not -"

"Shh. Calm yourself. Your mother isn't here, and neither is Ares. As for him, he's doing better than you are, so you should be worrying about yourself first. He's with Hermes right now."

"So he's alright? And my mother? Where is she?"

"Your mother's in no peril. Ares could be better, but it's a miracle he's alive as it is. Zeus nearly killed him, and he's still putting himself back together after all of that."

My heart felt like it was going to explode. Nearly killed? So then it was true, all true, every hazy half-memory that floated around in the back of my mind. I still had yet to piece everything together, but now I knew what little I remembered was no nightmare. It had all happened, everything.

"But where is he now?"

She leaned over to pick me up under my armpits as if I were nothing more than an unruly child, and I let out a strangled squeak of surprise when she lifted me bodily to my feet before setting me back on the floor. "Stay standing," she said. "You need to remind your body how to heal and grow. Your god's Aspect is nothing but a whisper of a whisper right now, and your condition is no better than a mortal's. Worse, actually, seeing as how you can't even seem to stand on your feet properly anymore. Up, here. Grab my arm. Let's head to the Hall. And - fine, fine! Don't look at me like that. Ares is with Hermes right now. We've got a stray giant who's wandered up the way, and they're getting rid of him. Satisfied?"

I ducked my head, both because I was so relieved and also because I felt sheepish guilt swamp me at her frustrated scowl. Maybe I had no idea who she was even now, but she was clearly trying to help me while I was doing nothing but making it impossibly difficult.

"...That's not fair of me, I'm sorry. You've been through a lot."

I raised my head and caught her gaze once more, surprised at the sudden change in her stern demeanor. It had been so quick that I didn't know how to respond, but it seemed she wasn't waiting for a reply anyway. She So - come on, then. We need to get some food in you, and I keep the Horn at Hestia's side. As poorly as you are, she needs it more. Besides, it's good exercise. One step at a time, now, a-one-and-two-and-one-and-two..."

I didn't have the energy or willpower to tell her that her pace was too quick for me, so somehow I forced my body to cooperate as if that was the less demanding course of action. How did that work, I wondered as I winced with every step.

"When are they coming back?" I asked between panting breaths as she led me out into a narrow corridor that was dim and shadowed. I didn't recognize any of this, either. Where exactly was I? I would ask that next, along with who she was.

"Soon, I suppose. The giants aren't the pushovers they used to be. This one's a dumb one, I think, but still dangerous. Anyway, I said not to worry about him. Both of you are impossible; he would be doing much better than he is now if he would focus on recovering instead of spending all his time fretting over you."

I let a short silence lapse after that. I wanted to change the subject, after all, now that I'd gathered that Ares was safe. Well, I hoped he was safe. She didn't seem worried, at least, and something about her made me feel confident about putting my trust in her.

"...S...So, who are you?" I asked. I didn't mean to stammer, but just as I'd lifted my head to look at her and ask the question, her sheer beauty had nearly knocked me off my feet as we walked. Outrageous. How could someone like this possibly exist?

"Me? You don't remember?" She frowned at me again as she had earlier, and this one was even deeper. She looked insulted, actually, and I immediately regretted asking the question. The last thing I wanted to do was offend her, and I fervently hoped that she would let me take it back -

Wait. I frowned back and blinked several times at her. What was wrong with me? This panic and inexplicable eagerness to please the woman, I had no idea where it was coming from. Yes, she was the most perfectly formed being I had ever seen in my life, but why was I...

"It's me, Aphrodite. We've already met, don't you remember?"

What? No, she couldn't be. My memories were still jumbled and not quite coherent yet, but I clearly remembered meeting the goddess of love and beauty before. It was only for the briefest of moments just before she directed me to save Ares from Zeus's clutches, but I clearly remembered blond tresses and clear blue eyes. And not quite so tall, either.

"Oh, you're confused," she said. "I see - I forgot you wouldn't know. Well, anyway, it's me. Expect me to change the way I look from time to time, and you've been dead asleep for weeks. Far too long for me to stay in one form, for sure."

Oh. So that was how it was. Well, no matter what appearance she took on, she was always the most beautiful woman in the world anyway. I supposed it made no difference no matter what form she took on.

Now that I knew what was going on, I could feel the hold of her Aspect loosening on me. Not all the way, but enough to keep my head above the hypnotic influence and stay alert. Unfortunately, now that I wasn't so distracted by Aphrodite's aura, the pain returned to my body tenfold. Every step felt like pins driving deep into my feet through the soles, and I trembled so much that I nearly lost my grip on my primitive crutches.

I really wished they were cushioned. I missed modern luxuries...And I missed Ares. I was too afraid to ask how long I had been unconscious for, but if not my mind, then at least my body seemed to know instinctively that it had been too long since I had last seen him. Was he on his way back now? What would he say when he saw me? And what would I say to him -

I stumbled suddenly, and Aphrodite caught me with a steadying grip around one arm. "Astraea, I told you to be careful," she scolded. "Ares won't be back any sooner just because you try to go rushing off."

"I..."

"Yes, I could tell you were thinking of him. Don't forget who I am, I recognize all the signs."

I blushed, unable to think of anything to say to defend myself. I felt silly and ridiculous, as if I were a student caught staring out the window of a classroom instead of paying attention. But what was so wrong about it anyway? I was in pain and still so disoriented. The last time I had seen Ares, he had been so hurt...Of course I wanted to see him now so that I could know he was alright, to prove it to myself with my own eyes.

"At least try to focus, Astraea. If nothing else, you owe Hestia that. And we don't have all that much time before...well, anyway. Slow down and take your time. We can't have you agitating Hestia when you see her."

I didn't bother arguing that it was the punishing pace she had set for both of us that had me so exhausted. I could barely catch my breath anymore, and I was panting more and more heavily with every passing second. Fine. Since Ares was fine and my mother wasn't even here, I would do what needed to be done first, take care of urgent matters one by one.

Hestia. The last time I had seen her was when I'd arrived on the Mount and found her collapsed by her hearth, unmoving. Aphrodite was right. I needed to see her and make sure she was alright. I had a part to play in everything that had happened, after all, and I remembered her to be kindly. Wise. I didn't know her well yet, but I would change that soon.

"In here," said Aphrodite, and she opened one of two large wooden doors before us that led into a spacious room. "Time for you to meet Hestia."